An important decision needs to be made. How to make a decision when in doubt? Descartes Square for decision making, the “Glass of Water” technique by Jose Silva and other proven, working techniques
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A person, being at a crossroads when making an important decision, is guided by two extremes - good and bad. What comes after we do or don't do something important? Will it be the end of the world or will peace and harmony reign? Why do we go to extremes? Is there really no middle ground?
From an early age, every person regularly faces a choice:
Should I wear pants or a skirt today?
with a handsome guy or spend an evening with a smart and interesting admirer?
Should I go to college as a vocation or should I listen to my parents in choosing a profession?
Want to get an interesting or profitable job?
You can continue endlessly! How difficult it is to make the right decision when the choice concerns such serious things as the choice of profession or workplace.
There are people in the world who do not doubt the correctness decision taken. One can only envy them.
Fatalists don't give a damn.
This category of people involuntarily. They do not torment themselves with choice, they go with the flow in the direction where the “finger of fate” points. It’s easier for them to reach out, take out what they’re grabbing from the closet, and put it on without thinking. Go on a date with whoever calls first. Go to study at the institute that... Whatever job comes up first, you will stay in that one for the rest of your life. And, in their own way, they are absolutely right! Why torment yourself with unnecessary doubts if life itself will put everything in its place?
Intuition.
There is another category of people who never doubt the correctness of their choice. These are individuals with developed. Or those who believe that they have this feeling. They never doubt the correctness of the decision made. After all, the confidence that intuition will not let them down will not leave them.
But such people are in the minority; the rest are tormented, tormented and doubtful.
When you doubt the correctness of a decision, the “Descartes square” will help
What does a person rely on when he doesn’t know what to do correctly in a given situation? specific situation?
It is possible to calculate the development of events down to the smallest detail only if you use the theory of probability. And then the value will be very approximate. However, few of us know how to do this. Therefore, by trusting to chance, you can achieve best results than those where a person intends to “swim against the tide” just to prove that the decision was correct.
To learn how to correctly assess the current problem and take the decisive step, use the “Descartes square”.
There are many ways that can show the pros and cons of a decision. For example, you can divide a sheet of paper into two parts. In the first column, write down the advantages that you will gain as a result of the decision made. The second is the cons.
Most effective method is considered to be “Descartes square”. Now the sheet of paper is divided into four parts, each of which contains a question that requires a detailed answer:
Positive aspects of getting what you want. (What awaits if you accomplish what you planned);
Positive aspects of not getting what you want. (What awaits if you don’t accomplish what you planned);
Negative aspects of wish fulfillment. (What can be avoided if you get what you want);
Negative aspects of not achieving what you want. (What can be avoided if you don’t get what you want).
Answering in each square questions asked, you will quickly come to the right decision. Here you need to evaluate and weigh all the pros and cons that may arise as a result of your decision, and make the only correct one.
What influences the search for the right solution?
What is the right decision? This is the distance between the starting point (task) and the point at which a person will receive satisfaction of his needs and plans (solution). This process involves all components of a person’s personality: mind, will, character and motivation. All this both helps and hinders the right decisions. Assess yourself, try to remember what exactly motivates you at that moment when you need to mobilize all your efforts to concentrate on one task. Sweep away the unnecessary and remove the unnecessary from yourself.
Confirmation.
When searching for the right solution, a person weighs all the components of the expected success. Choose based on the facts, do not be guided by speculation and illusory “what if.” Ignore information that you consider contradictory, look for a rational grain.
Subsequence.
Every action you take to solve a problem must be consistent.
The vector of thinking about the problem should be directed to one point. Take the shortest route without being distracted by lyrical digressions off topic.
Mobility.
This refers to a person’s ability to respond to a changing situation. With the emergence of new facts that contradict the decision you have chosen, you should adequately assess the situation and take appropriate measures.
Concentration.
When making a decision that is important to you, it is advisable to abstract yourself from other problems. The brain's efforts need to be directed to specific task, the fulfillment of which depends peace of mind, material well-being or the future in general.
Selectivity.
Choose really worthy of attention data. Sweep away unnecessary information, do not consider important what is not worth your attention and effort.
Life experience.
When making serious decisions, you should not rely only on your own experience. Consult with smart people, watch shows, look for advice on the Internet or books.
Don't put your abilities first. The successes you have achieved before are a combination of your contribution, the help of others and a happy coincidence of circumstances. Draw conclusions from mistakes, try not to “step on the same rake” in the future.
Concentrate, choose the path you will take to make a decision, calm down and act. In the matter of awareness and development of an action plan, there should not be excessive haste, fanaticism and inflated forecasts about the result. These moments reduce the effectiveness of the process and give victory a bitter taste of dissatisfaction.
3 strategies will help you not doubt your decision
The method of Canadian professor Henry Mintzberg will help you make the right decision. In his opinion, there are three steps to success:
Action.
This process means you don't have time to think. There is a category of decision making that implies that there is simply no time to think. We must act immediately. Then the attitudes laid down by the instinct of self-preservation, personal experience and the mistakes of other people come into force. To properly evaluate such situations, learn to learn from everything that life throws at you. In a specific situation it often saves.
The process of thinking about a situation for a long time is inherent in representatives Western culture. It implies an algorithm of the following actions:
And the formulation of the problem;
Systematization of the received data;
Direction adjustment;
Assessment of parameters influencing the result and selection of the necessary means for;
Search alternative solutions and options for the development of events;
Assessment of possible outcomes of events;
Decision and action.
Intuition.
People who make decisions on an intuitive level are guided by inspiration, which they themselves characterize as a kind of “insight” that came suddenly. It happens that a person for a long time is looking for an answer to a specific question that haunts him. He falls asleep and wakes up with this thought. One fine day, he realizes that there is no problem at all, the solution is already in his head. In the subconscious of every person there is a hidden system of knowledge and life experience. At a critical moment, all body processes are activated, which allows you to quickly navigate the current situation.
There are four stages of decision making on an intuitive level:
Identifying the problem and collecting information about it. This process involves thinking, the emotional aspect, personal experience and environmental influences;
Concentrating all mental functions on understanding the problem in order to feel the depth and possibility of its solution;
Insight (illumination), which replaces reflection;
Double-checking the facts comparative analysis results of developments and final adjustments.
How to make a decision and no longer doubt
So, what is considered the most important factor for good decision making? Of course, there is enough time to think, systematize factors, find the right course of action and choose one solution from several possible ones. To learn how to make decisions you will never regret, use the following tips:
Time and place.
Don't act spontaneously in acceptance important steps. Schedule time when you can be alone.
If you wake up the next morning feeling relieved, go for it! If not, then the solution is not correct, or not the only correct one.
Making a fateful decision. You get the feeling that there is a wall in front of you, against which you have rested your forehead, and there is no further passage. Step away from the problem for a while. For example, go to the cinema to dispel. Distract your brain from the load that forces it to work under time pressure. But as soon as you feel that the feeling of heaviness in your soul has passed, return to the problem with renewed vigor.
Important and necessary.
Think about the necessity of what you are doing now. Is this really of such value to you that it’s worth the effort and nerves? If you are on the right path, then doubts about the need to solve this problem should be dismissed. If not, then you must clearly decide for yourself what benefit is driving you.
Having made a preliminary decision, do not rush to act. Once again, evaluate the options for the development of events, compare them with previous experience, remember the mistakes of your friends, and only then proceed to implement the planned plan.
The moment you realize that your decision is the only possible and correct one, you will feel relief. Now everything has fallen into place. It’s easier for you, but you have to act strictly according to plan. Do not forget that the result you want to achieve depends on the accuracy of the sequence of actions.
February 24, 2014Throughout his life, every person often has to take important decision. He also faces the need to make choices throughout the day: what to wear, what soap to use, what products to buy for home, what TV series to watch, and so on. And sometimes even such small everyday issues can put a person before a choice, the result of which can depend on one’s mood or even one’s fate.
Big and small problems
If you look at it this way, then our whole life is a chain consisting of links of choice options. It’s good if these are minor problems: how to cook rice porridge, what color is the tie would be better suited to the shirt... Such little things usually do not leave a trace in the memory. It’s another matter when a person’s future life is decided by choice. For example, what profession to choose, whether to tie your fate with the person you like or invest in a business. In these cases, the price of the issue is determined by other measures. If, having cooked porridge incorrectly, a person risks being left without lunch, then the price for a wrong decision can be the loss of money or even several years of life.
For this reason, making the right decision of this kind is often accompanied by stress. And the longer a person thinks, the more this condition worsens, which ultimately affects his well-being and ability to resolve the situation.
Why is it important to make a quick decision?
Every person wants something more in this life: to build a house, earn money, buy expensive furniture, have a beautiful appearance, raise smart children. At first glance, everything is simple - just take it and do it. But there is small nuance: the possibilities have become so vast that a person is at a loss for choice. Some turn off the right path, while others continue to go towards their intended goal. Therefore, before making the right decision, you need to carefully analyze and weigh everything. Today our world is structured in such a way that it is not “the big eats the small”, but “the nimble eats the slow.” Speed is everything. A small but actively developing company can unexpectedly absorb a clumsy giant.
In order to open your own production and start doing what you love, a person needs not only funds and desire, but also a decision to change his life once and for all. And this is not easy, because there are always doubts. How to take this step, how to decide to burn all the bridges behind and plunge into the world of new opportunities? In fact, there are many ways that help you overcome doubts and make the right decision.
Time to choose
If you have time to think about each question, you should think through each answer option, since you don’t know in advance which solution is correct. The more versions, the more chances to find best option. You can even write down on paper different situations and their possible solutions. Naturally, this will take time, but there will be an opportunity to analyze and think about everything.
Essentially, the choice is unique property man that nature gave him. With its help, he can control the reality in which he lives, so as not to become a hostage to unforeseen situations. If a person does not have time to make a choice himself, others will do it for him - parents, social environment, boss, friends. Choice is everything! Therefore, if a person is afraid to make choices himself, he cannot control his destiny, which means he will not achieve his goal. If he does not believe in himself, in his success, he will not have the courage to choose. What helps you make the right decision and how to take an important step?
Fear of failure
When making a decision, a person is afraid of the disapproval of others, failure, losing what he has, responsibility, poverty. Sometimes these fears are justified, but they make it possible to understand one truth: no matter what decision is made - right or wrong - loss cannot be avoided, it is this moment that becomes the cause of torment. Therefore, before quickly making the right decision, you need to kill the fear in yourself. Because of it, the need to choose is perceived as a painful burden - an attempt by all means to avoid it or delay it for some more time.
In addition, a lot depends on the person: under the same circumstances, someone makes a decision, and someone tries to transfer responsibility to another. Because everyone sees the world differently. Two people, having lived the same situation together, will talk about it differently.
The world through the prism of beliefs
We see our world through the prism of our beliefs and knowledge. They, like filters, are able to pass only the information that is necessary. On its basis, important conclusions are drawn. Before making the right decision, one must not give up, one must not give up, otherwise the person will not see a way out of the current situation. “I can’t do anything. I small man. I have nothing left except work. I will always have to live in poverty,” such beliefs prevent you from being free, decisive, purposeful, persistent, believing in yourself, and deprive you of choice. Due to such blocking important information does not reach our consciousness, we simply reject it.
Is there a choice?
Of course, situations are different, but, regardless of the circumstances, the decision is made by the person himself. But what it will be like, conscious or not, is the question. A conscious decision is a clear vision of the future result. The unconscious is expressed in automatic action under the influence of an impulsive, passionate desire: “It happened,” “I couldn’t restrain myself.” In other words, the person himself does not understand how he committed this or that action, and as a result cannot understand the consequences.
In reality, we cannot know everything, and sometimes we are not able to perform actions that are competent in all respects, but we need to strive for the best, knowing not only ourselves, but also the world. A clear and clear understanding of how to find the right solution to a problem is the basis for effective choice.
Correct criteria
The main question today that many people ask themselves is: “How to get out of this or that situation?” Experts are sure that there is always a way out if you install correct criteria that we define for ourselves.
For example, if a woman wants to create harmonious relationships and sets herself the task of meeting an athletic, dark-skinned, wealthy and intelligent man, then this will not be enough. Since such a desire determines only external forms goals. It is necessary to fill the task with content. After all, you can meet many men according to established criteria, but how do you know if there is “the one” among them? This is where you can get confused and make a mistake.
Basic criteria for the right choice
To make the right choice, you should fill the task with many sub-points: what kind of relationship you want, what kind of character the chosen one should be. And you need to carry this goal in your heart and understand that you are the one worthy of it. Under no circumstances should there be any doubt. You need to believe that you will definitely meet a worthy person on your way. It's important to look at personal traits: Will you be comfortable with this man, do you feel joy and calmness, do you trust him? Only by answering these questions can you make an informed choice.
In a trap
Before choosing the right decision, you need to understand that the situation can change in any direction, so our future life depends only on our choice. Global changes require balanced decisions that you need to be prepared for. And this depends on the desire to manage your life and the ability to be responsible for your actions. The most big mistake people are a rush of emotions that leads to rash actions. Any deadlock situation requires reflection, which takes time. Haste leads to negative consequences, and a person drives himself into a trap. There is no need to rush, otherwise you will have to start all over again. But, as they say, you learn from mistakes. And this is the kind of experience that brings wisdom.
Choice without lot
How to make the right decision, spending a minimum of time and without risk to health? As a rule, when making a choice, a person weighs the pros and cons. Psychologists even recommend writing down arguments in table form. But what if the result is a 50x50 proportion? How to find the right solution to a problem without resorting to drawing lots? Here are some standard tips to help deal with this problem:
When making a choice, you should look several steps ahead: what results will this or that result lead to. The only correct decision must come consciously, after carefully weighing all possible consequences.
Hopeless situations
Surely each of us has encountered unforeseen situations that required immediate decision-making: some were able to accept them, while others were not. As practice shows, some unforeseen situations do not forgive doubts and mistakes, so every person should know how to quickly make the right decision in order to protect themselves and loved ones from unpleasant situations. Main mistake For many people, unconscious actions in an emergency or an attempt to leave due to fear of responsibility. Therefore, it is better to be prepared in advance so as not to pay the price for unawareness and ignorance later.
How to make the right decision
There are circumstances when a problem needs to be solved right here and now, but a person cannot do anything because he does not know how to do the right thing. In such situations, you need to remain calm before making the right decision. After all, how the problem is resolved depends on this. Gather your thoughts, look into your subconscious, ask your intuition to suggest a way out of the current situation. And what solution comes to mind first is the answer to your request. Even if you have never developed your subconscious mind, it is worth using your intuition. It is important not to make decisions under criticism and pressure, since being in an unbalanced state can lead to rash choices.
So, what helps you make the right decision? This - life experience, lack of fear, intuition, subconscious, situation analysis and logical thinking.
How to make the right decision
What you need to know before making a decision, what questions to ask and what to guide your decision-making
Most people are afraid, do not know or do not know how (do not understand) how to approach and make a decision.
And if you divide decision making into stages (steps). What steps are important to make the most correct, final decision?
I’ll talk about these steps below, but first, what to pay attention to when making decisions.
It often happens that before making a decision, a person does not really know what he wants or which option is better for him to choose.
And here it is important that you do not just analyze, but put aside logic for a while and pay attention to yourself, to feel whether this is really pleasant for you, whether it will be a pleasure for you to do this for a long time. And we do not focus here only on results, money and benefits. Just listen to your inner voice, sometimes a hint may not come right away, and here it is better not to put pressure on yourself, but to hatch the answer, trust your intuition.
You can also ask yourself a couple of questions: “What does my mind tell me?” and answer out loud quickly, without thinking, and then ask: “What does my intuition (my soul) tell me?”, and look very carefully at the very first thoughts that came to your head, most often they are the most correct. Observe yourself, how they make you feel, and whether there is anything inspiring about them.
I consider this the main advice and in most cases, this is all that is needed to make the right decision.
Do you know what a famous and successful person said about this:
Feel free to follow your heart and intuition, somehow they already know who you really want to becomeSteve Jobs
And it often happens that the situations themselves do not tolerate reasoning from us, we just need to do something and that’s all. For example, if you are single, an opportunity has presented itself and you feel that you sincerely want to get to know each other, then you shouldn’t go into all this “What would happen if...”, listen to your heart and just follow it - take some action in response to all doubts - “come what may.”
5 questions in decision making
Very often we doubt whether I really need this and why. And especially if the decision affects the global and long term perspective. Here I still recommend listening more to your inner voice, but you can ask yourself 5 guiding questions.
First question- "Do I want this, X Do I want to do this, do I want to have this, do I want to become someone?"We answer ourselves honestly" YES" or " NO".
When you have determined and answered yourself: “YES”, this is exactly what I want to do, move on to the next question, - " If I do this, if I become someone and achieve this, will I be in harmony with myself, with the Universe, or for those who believe, in harmony with God?"
If you answered “YES” to yourself, then ask yourself the following question: "If I do this, if I become someone, then will bring closer is this me to my goal, my dream ?"
If your answer is “YES”, then ask yourself another question: “ If I do this, have this, if I become something, will that violate human rights?
If your answer is "NO", then move on to the last question - " If I achieve my goal, will I make myself and anyone else better?” This question may be the easiest to answer.
And having answered your questions and made up your mind, you need to start taking action. Right now, this second, start taking action to change something in your life. To become successful, independent and finally achieve what you so desire. Don’t put it off until later by telling yourself - “That’s it, yes, I’ve decided, I’ll start acting tomorrow”, or “I’ll think again and then I’ll finally decide whether I need it or not.”- believe me, friends, you are unlikely to decide and start something.
And if you try later, as a rule, it’s just another attempt and nothing more. Do straightaway even the smallest step is important your first step, the START is important.
For example, the first step is the need to collect useful information, find out what and how. The more detailed you know, the easier it is to make decisions and you will move faster and more confidently.
Just worry and don't move
Don’t delay making final decisions if you already feel that this is yours, you are hungry for change and you need it, and don’t worry too much now about how you will be and when, what will come - these are not the right questions now, gradually everything will come itself. Your main goal now is to make a decision.
If you are delaying making a decision, it means you have already made a decision - to leave everything as is.
Remember that Doubts will still remain and you should not get rid of them in any way. It’s normal to experience, because no one can predict success and know exactly how everything will go, you can only, to a greater or lesser extent, believe depending on experience and conditions.
And as soon as you make your final decision and start taking the first steps 
, all these “HOWs” - they will come to you. You will find or you will meet necessary people, And necessary situations they will begin to appear around you. You will begin to attract them to you, this is some kind of amazing phenomenon, but I was convinced myself that it works, like a relationship with the universe.
By the way, think carefully and remember when you started to think about something and do something, no matter what, when suddenly, immediately or after some time, something like this began to happen - the right people met or you found yourself in that place and at that time, or the necessary information came across.
So, The main thing - decide.
Don't rely on decision making from what you have today, think what you want, strive for it and make your decision based on it. The fear of failure is always stronger than the possibility of change, we are much more afraid of losing something than the desire to try to gain something, but if you are guided only by, you will not go far.
And all other questions, such as “Will I be able to do this?”, “Am I doing it right?” “What if it doesn’t work out?” - All these questions are not questions of a person who wants more from life. They should be given attention only for a quick assessment of the reality of what is being done, in order to correct the course and nothing more.
Almost each of you has been in a situation where, having made some decision and started doing something, after a while, maybe quickly, maybe later, you understand - it was necessary differently.
If you do not accept for yourself that there is no and will not be a 100% correct decision, if you are afraid and based on the fear of error, you will never achieve what you dream of. The trick is that You either do it or you don’t and there is no other option.. Except an even worse option is to be in a wait-and-see state all the time just thinking and dreaming about something, waiting 100% given an opportunity in the hope that such an opportunity will come, do nothing, and all the time be in a state of dissatisfaction with yourself and your life.
“Any plan of action has its own price and risk. But they are much less than the price and risk of doing nothing comfortably.”John F. Kennedy
What prevents you from making better decisions?
We are in different time We are in different states depending on some external or internal factors and as a result, no matter how smart you are, our consciousness perceives the situation differently. And when making some decision you were unable to make right choice That's why that at that time there were not in the right condition, you may have been depressed, anxious and overworked, and you simply lacked your potential.
In another case, when you almost immediately understand what led to the wrong decision, it’s not because you made a conscious wrong decision, it’s not the case that “ consciousness was not enough", but because I failed to restrain myself, to control myself, throwing away my emotions (most often this happens, and this is the saddest thing).
Very often we are blinded by emotions that make us miss important nuances in making this or that choice and which may subsequently prove decisive. Therefore, always before making an important decision, calm down, the best way to do this is to observe your breathing for 5-8 slow, calm inhalations and exhalations, and if you are too excited, then postpone the decision for a while, let your brain calm down and clear up.
What to guide your decisions (choice of actions)
Be guided by principles in your decision
When making decisions, always remember and be guided by your main principles and sincere desires. For example, if you want to start a business, then you need to take into account that it will not be an easy walk, but hard work. Are you ready to sacrifice your comfort, personal time and time for your family? And what is this all for?
Maybe you will understand that family, comfort and peace are what you are striving for, and earning big money can take a lot of that away from you. Some people, when they start chasing money, forget about their main values, why they started doing this in the first place.
If you still feel that this matter or something else is necessary for you, then go ahead and be bolder.
Concentrate on the main thing
When you have already decided everything, started to act and determine the direction every day, decide what to do now, always be guided by priority main action, ask yourself, “What’s best right now, on this moment"What can I do to get closer to my goal?"
And having decided on specific actions - you try to do it without delay.. Just don't take it too long.
How to make a decision. Motivation
And for your support and motivation, I highly recommend keeping a diary, it’s really important.
How do we make a diary? In a new notebook we write, first the questions, then we answer - " Why do I need this??", "What will this give me?", " How confident will I become?", "How will I feel about this??", "How will I live with this??", "What opportunities will this give me?"Describe everything vividly, in colorful images, imagining it as if you have already achieved success and are now experiencing these sensations.
And every day you should start by reading your diary, with this strongest motivation. You perform actions in a different mood, and with each subsequent day this mood will become better.
In 95% of cases you will not believe what you write. Why is that? Because it’s all about the (attitudes) that are embedded inside us, in our subconscious. And if we don't change these attitudes, we are doomed to failure. In order to reprogram, change these programs, you will write this diary. When you put your thoughts on paper, your brain perceives everything differently than when it happens in your head.
But the best thing is if you also find a like-minded person who will share your vision and your goals. And sharing your thoughts with him, or even reading them out loud. Everything will begin to boil inside you, you will seem to be divided in two. One part will say-" You can not ", another" You will succeed "And most importantly, with such repetition and discipline you program your subconscious, change your unsuccessful attitudes.
There are other ways of programming, but that's in other articles. Why others? It’s simple - some of us perceive everything visually, others perceive audio information, or we need both together. All this can be easily felt if you just listen to yourself. In the meantime, I recommend learning a little more about with it, it can dramatically change your life in general.
And one moment, every person along the way has days when everything falls out of hand, there is no mood, the state of health, to put it mildly, is not working and you need to continue doing something, but things are not going well at all. Write down your most cherished goal on a card that you will always carry with you. And when you need to act, but you’re not in the mood, take out your card and ask yourself, “Why and why do you need all this?” And answer this question honestly. Your answer will motivate you to action and only actions will lead you to your goal.
Finally, how to make a decision:
And always remember, each of us, this unique person, with their weaknesses, but also their strengths. And each of us has the right to be who we want!
Good luck in making the right decisions and energy for action! !
Sincerely, Andrey Russkikh
Be sure to check it out! How to make your dream come true
There comes a time in every person's life when they need to make a difficult decision. How to make the right decision when in doubt? Which direction of study should I choose? The partner I am with now will not disappoint me in the future, am I in love with him for life? Should I accept the offer or can I find more interesting work? These are just some of the dilemmas that most of us face.
The choice of whether to buy apples or pears seems insignificant compared to decisions whose consequences can affect a lifetime. How to be confident in what you take right decisions? How to avoid internal dissonance, the impression that the option you refused could be better than the one you chose? How to make difficult decisions?
Decision making methods
There are mainly two decision-making strategies used - heuristics and algorithms. Thinking algorithmically, a person carefully studies and analyzes, comparing the pros and cons of a particular option. Heuristics save us time because they appeal to emotions, intuition, preferences, and internal beliefs, without “calculation.”
It seems that when faced with a difficult choice, it is wiser to think through everything carefully several times before making a final decision. Meanwhile, people are very often guided by their hearts rather than their heads - even when making decisions that have an impact on their entire lives (for example, when choosing a life partner). How to understand what is best for us in a given situation?
Depending on the rank of the problem, a person usually uses from 1 to 3 decision-making strategies. What methods are used when making life choices?
1. Getting information from others
When you don’t know what to decide, you often use the support of loved ones, friends, and family. You are consulting, searching Additional information. If you need to make a difficult decision, you should consult with others and ask what they would do in a similar situation. Brainstorming, sharing opinions with others helps to look at the problem with new point vision.
2. Postponing the decision over time
If no one and nothing helps, do not rush into making a choice, give yourself time. You may temporarily not feel strong enough to make decisions that could affect your entire life. Postponing the decision until later may prove good idea, since during this time new facts may be discovered that will help make a choice. But it is important not to put it off indefinitely; in the end, you need to make a decision.
3. Eliminating the worst options
When you have several different options and you don’t know which one to give preference to, make a choice, excluding what seems the worst and least interesting. At the end of such elimination, a better alternative will remain.
4. Choosing the least evil
The choice is not always between good-better or good-worse: you have to choose between two not the most attractive options. How do you choose between two equally unpleasant alternatives?
You need to choose something that has less potential negative consequences, and come to terms with the decision. There are things we simply cannot influence. Therefore, sometimes it is easier to accept the need to make a decision with bad consequences than to accept such a choice.
5. Analyze before you choose
This is a strategy related to algorithmic thinking. Consider the pros and cons of each alternative and choose the one that has more positive consequences. In other words, a balance is drawn up of the profits and losses associated with choosing one option and refusing another. However, similar cold calculation is not always possible, because sometimes emotions take precedence over reason.
6. Act on the spur of the moment.
Sometimes there is neither the time nor the opportunity to consider the proposals received for a long time. Then you need to make a decision spontaneously, immediately, on hot hand. In this case, it is better to trust your instinct, your inner voice. Not always, guided by emotions, we act rashly. In hindsight, it turns out to be the right decision, so trust yourself and your intuition.
7. Descartes square
One of the most effective and simple ways make a difficult decision. You are encouraged to analyze any situation or problem from different perspectives. To make the right decision, answer four questions by looking at the picture below.
Be careful when answering the fourth question because your brain will try to ignore the double negative and try to answer like the first question. Don't let this happen!
Why is this method so effective? When you are in a situation that requires you to accept complex solution, you often get stuck at the first point - what happens if this happens? However, Descartes' square allows us to look at the problem from a multifaceted perspective and make a carefully thought-out and informed choice.
8. PMI method
How to effectively make difficult decisions? You can use Edward de Bono's method - the PMI method. This abbreviation is a derivative English words(plus, minus, interesting). The method is very simple. It is based on the fact that before making a decision, it is comprehensively assessed. A table is drawn on a piece of paper with three columns (pros, cons, interesting), and in each column the arguments for and against are indicated. The “interesting” column records everything that is neither good nor bad, but is still related to decision making.
Below is an example. Decision: should I rent an apartment on the outskirts with a friend?
When this table is drawn up, score each of the arguments in accordance with the direction (arguments for are indicated by a plus, against - by a minus). For example, for someone higher value has more space than pleasant company. At the end, the value of all arguments is summed up and it is determined whether the balance will be positive or negative.
The PMI method cannot be called innovative; it is not fundamentally different from how we make decisions in Everyday life. It seems that he evaluates the strong and weak sides given choice. Nothing could be further from the truth. Most of us, when making a decision, actually make it for ourselves from the very beginning and then select arguments that would justify our choice. Even if it turns out that the decision we made has 3 more minuses, we will still choose it. People are actually not very rational, they are guided more by personal preferences, taste, etc. The pros and cons on a piece of paper will allow for an accurate analysis, at least with a partial shutdown of emotions.
People are very often afraid of the consequences of their choices and do not like to make decisions. They would willingly shift responsibility for their lives to other people. Unfortunately, if we want to be happy, we must learn to decide our own issues and bear the burden of life's choices. There is no guarantee that others would have done it better for us. We'll never know whether the options we ignore are better than the ones we chose, so don't cry over spilled milk and constantly lament the merits of rejected alternatives. Constantly ongoing dissonance kills us morally.
All actions are divided into those whose results can be predicted, and those whose consequences can only be assumed. The most difficult choice is one in which there is no way to know whether the outcome will be successful. There are situations in which you need to make a decision in a short time. It is at such moments that a person places his hopes on intuition and his mind, which form necessary balance for the right choice.
What does decision-making depend on in difficult situations?
The right decisions in different situations lead to the desired goal. But personality is constantly evolving. When deciding important tasks and in difficult circumstances it undergoes transformations. This means that priorities, goals and the person himself change. Therefore, when making an important decision, you should follow the principle of “here and now”, and not look into the future. There are several methods that will help you learn to make the right choices in career and life matters:
- 1. Getting rid of the “narrow frames”. A common phenomenon when choosing one solution or another. It lies in the fact that the subconscious reduces the multiple variations of possible outcomes to a significant minority. When deciding whether to buy a car, a person sees only two options: “yes” or “no.” However, alternative steps are not considered. For example, you should buy a cheap car or postpone the purchase altogether and leave the money for more necessary things. There is a compromise between the two solutions that can only be found in correct placement priorities.
- 2. Expanding choice. A person becomes too strongly attached to the goal to which he initially set his thinking, that is, he sees only one solution that is related to this goal, and ignores others. An example is the adoption of purchasing an apartment. If she initially made a good impression, and the realtor offered favorable conditions, then the question arises as to whether it is worth buying this particular home. But the fact is that this is the first apartment that was viewed. Also, when moving to another city, you should not limit your choice to one locality. You need to visit several places first, and then choose the most suitable one. Therefore, there is no need to make hasty decisions; it is worth thoroughly studying the real estate market in order to best offers choose the most suitable one. It is always necessary to look for an alternative, to consider possible options developments that may occur if a completely different decision is made.
- 3. Information. When choosing, it is worth fully studying the available data. When applying for a job, a person can ask his boss questions in order to understand what position he is applying for, or about the dismissal of a previous employee. You should not limit yourself to one source of information. During an interview, it is permissible to use leading questions. With their help, a certain scheme of actions is built that will positively influence the decision made.
- 4. Create space for simple solutions. Expanding your choice isn't always helpful. Sometimes because large quantity When faced with options, a person is lost and it is difficult for him to make a final choice. Therefore, the method of basic priorities is applicable here. Combined with the expansion of options, it can simplify the decision-making task. If, when changing jobs, many interviews were completed and a large number of employers responded, then you need to compare your priorities with the conditions they offer. If there is a match, this will greatly simplify the choice.
- 5. Test in practice. Any right decision is supported by experience. If you have a choice between two cars, a test drive will come to the rescue. Experience is the basis that is important when resolving controversial issues.
- 6. Accepting criticism. The latter helps when correct and useful conclusions are drawn from it. A look from the outside helps to complement your own picture of reality, to balance arrogance with someone else’s uncertainty.
There are times when the listed methods should not be used. An alternative is determined by the number of advantages and disadvantages, but sometimes the latter are not present. If there are no negative consequences from the decision made, then you should act immediately. For example, when meeting a girl, a guy will begin to weigh the pros and cons, forgetting that he is lonely and free and wants love.
How to stop thinking bad thoughts about yourself
The right choice in your personal life
In personal life, an excessive desire to have information can lead to quarrels and misunderstandings. The partner will see this as a test or threat to the relationship. But if mutual understanding reigns in the union, then the chosen one will tell everything necessary.
Getting rid of fleeting emotions will help you not regret your choice. Many wrong decisions are made under the influence of momentary feelings. Therefore, in difficult situations, it is worth thinking about how you can approach this issue in 10 minutes or years.
Any choice requires time during which a person thinks about everything and gets rid of the influence of emotions. For example, a wife decided to divorce her husband and go to her lover after he gave her an expensive gift and organized a wonderful evening. But the wife does this under the influence of emotions that remain after the meeting. Therefore, it is worth thinking about what will happen if the husband stays with the child, how this will affect him and whether the lover will always be so romantic. To organize your thoughts and completely calm down, use the following methods:
- 1. Calm breathing. It is necessary to take 10 measured exhalations and inhalations. This will concentrate attention and cool emotions.
- 2. "Ideal self." A person imagines the ideal course of events after making a decision. However, maintaining concentration, helping a friend and learning to wait are also necessary.
Knowing your basic priorities can help you always stick to your main goals and objectives. Sometimes, when making a choice, a person forgets about the initial values and is distracted by other options. This often happens in personal relationships. Sometimes it is difficult for a woman to make a choice between two men, although subconsciously she has made it long ago. But thinking about another guy, his qualities and merits, obscures the image of the already chosen man and pushes him away from the initial choice.
When making a decision, it is easy to fall into the traps of arrogance; they are called “tripwires.” It will seem that everything is fine and good, but later problems may begin. Due to arrogance, a person will not be able to turn back, since he has a strong attachment to the choice. This often happens in relationships. At the first stages, it seems to the girl or guy that this is forever and this choice is the best, and the relationship is idealized. But any connections are not immune from quarrels and crises that lead to separation. Because of blind faith in the choice made, partners often do not notice that they are not suitable for each other. Therefore, we must immediately understand that creating a union is hard labour and the ability to find alternative options in solving emerging problems.
The use of these methods will help you make the right decision and give clarity and clarity to the selection procedure. But they require a lot of time, and decisions do not lend themselves to dry analysis of the mind. A person will never receive absolute information or complete confidence in his choice. Therefore, intuition also plays an important role.