An unusual ready-made scenario for seeing off a colleague’s retirement. Farewell to a woman's retirement: a comic scenario from colleagues

How we saw you off to retirement (60th anniversary)

HOST: Oh, you, guests - gentlemen, why did you come here? Or life at home is bad - But they are dressed, just a miracle. And the answer is quite simple, our young Vladimir, among his friends, decided to celebrate his anniversary.
HOST: Dear Vladimir Konstantinovich, allow me to congratulate you on behalf of all those present on your anniversary and retirement.
We wish you on your anniversary
So that you sit over champagne,
To dance and sing songs,
So that this glorious feast
Brought health, happiness, peace.
Be happy and healthy
Don't remember the years
Even if life is harsh at times,
But don't you dare give in to her.
Wow, I see you moved something? Wait, I will introduce you to the rules of our evening. Our charter states:
1. That the hero of the day is sitting in front of us.
2. It is announced that Vladimir Konstantinovich’s anniversary will not be canceled in 2000.
3. Remember: it didn’t hurt for everyone to start having a glass.
4. It is announced that laughter in this house is not canceled.
5. Gifts brought to the hero of the day are accepted around the clock for another month after this evening and cannot be returned.
HOST: I offer the floor to congratulate my colleagues and friends.
(Colleagues of the hero of the day speak.)
We congratulate you on this significant event,
Today is your legal anniversary,
We wish you great health,
And there are many sincere friends in life.
Anniversary is a special date,
Where do you mentally sum up,
What could be wrong someday?
What is expensive, you probably saved.
We congratulate you with all our hearts
And we want to wish you happiness.
Let in your home climate
There will never be bad weather.
We do not give to the birthday boy
No headsets, no rings,
You'll probably receive it warmer
Greetings from friendly hearts.
HOST: And now I would like to tell you a little about our hero of the day, but for this you must help me. I need you to list any 12 adjectives.
(The presenter writes down these adjectives and inserts them into the missing places in the text).
Vladimir Konstantinovich was born in... 1940. He grew up very... as a child. For many... years he has not changed at all, which speaks of the constancy of his... character. In... 1950 he was accepted into the ranks of... the Pioneer organization named after. V.I.Lenin. He received his education and specialty in ... 1963. In the same year he joined the ranks of our ... friendly team and has not parted with us since then. He made...contributions to...the affairs of the country. Vladimir Konstantinovich has... the appearance and... the ability to work, which is what endeared him to the team.
HOST: We wish the hero of the day
We are health and happiness,
What more could you wish for?
If we drink today,
Health will not weaken
Tomorrow we can continue again.
And now, on behalf of the Russian Department of Education, I have been entrusted with presenting a diploma to Vladimir Konstantinovich stating that he is truly a pensioner.
DIPLOMA
This diploma was issued to Vladimir Konstantinovich in that during his 60 years of life he completed a course of study on the topic “Know and be able” and discovered the following knowledge:
Literature (Conversation with wife in anger.) - 4
Mathematics (Recalculation wages wife in their favor.) - 4
Geography (Wherever it takes you, everything will come home.) - 5
Music (Game on nerves.) - 3
Chemistry (Moonshine brewing) - 4
Diligence (On the right side.) - 5
Diligence (On the left side.) - 4
Based on the above, recognize Comrade... fit for further life.
Coursework on the topic “If you want to live, know how to spin” - protected at 5.
By the decision of the state qualification commission dated ... 2000, to assign comrade. ... the title “Free Young Pensioner”.
HOST: But don’t get too upset. The birthday boy is greeted by his friends.

CONGRATULATIONS FROM FRIENDS
They say that at sixty every birthday boy is happy
Exchange your years for twenty, twenty-five years.
No friends, it’s not like that at all, anyone who thinks like that is an eccentric.
At twenty years old there are holes everywhere,
No wife and no apartment,
At sixty you have a garden
And, of course, three guys.
At twenty-five only we chip in
I had to drink vodka.
At sixty you're all gone
You can give me some vodka.
At twenty-five the bag is empty,
At twenty-five it’s absolute hell,
At sixty - a savings book in rubles,
At sixty, cronyism is everywhere.
At twenty you're working hard
Like a horse or an ox
When you're sixty, you'll tell your colleagues,
You work, I'm off.
No, friends, he is very happy,
That I'm exactly sixty!
Every year he gets smarter
The years fly by like birds,
He won't regret it even a hundred times
Why is he sixty now?
HOST: I would like to give advice to a newly minted pensioner.
Keep your family as strict as possible
Come, go and get out,
One look from you, just one word
And for them it is already a law.
And in holidays countries
In the morning, read them morals,
By lunchtime, honor severity,
And in the evening sit down for tea.

HOST: So let’s raise our charms,
Each one took his wine,
Let's drink to the hero of the day
And for his friendly family.
May life be rich in joys.
And happiness will not leave your doorstep.
We wish you as little worry as possible,
But they still cannot be avoided,
So there will be strength to win.
So today these forces are visiting us. Yes Yes. Don't be surprised, this is not a fairy tale. So, we are visiting internal forces, i.e. Ministry of Internal Affairs
(Some of the invitees wear a police uniform. Road signs are drawn up in advance.)
POLICE OFFICER: On behalf of the traffic police and the Department of Internal Affairs of Yekaterinburg, I present memorable gifts. Since in the apartment constant movement and you can forget and get lost, we decided to help with this.
"Don't forget to turn off the TV"
(The sign is attached to the TV screen) “Be careful there may be children here.”
(The sign is attached to the sofa)
Be careful, wipe your glasses"
(Sign attached to the bathroom) "Careful not to overdo it"
(The sign is attached in the kitchen)
“Caution for sharp objects” (The sign can be hung in the kitchen and in the room where the needle and thread are) “Caution for gas and electrical appliances”
(The sign is attached above gas and electrical appliances)

POLICE OFFICER: Be careful in your movements and God forbid you attach the signs incorrectly or confuse them. All the best
HOST: May this day be solemn and holy
Today it has happened - you are sixty!
But don’t be sad, don’t think that’s the limit,
There is still a lot of work ahead of you.
From pure heart we wish you
So that everything you have in mind comes true in fate.
Go through life as boldly as before,
To celebrate more than one anniversary.
We wish you further
Never, never give up
And health for many years,
We want to wish you from the bottom of our hearts.
HOST: We presented you with gifts,
But it's no secret to anyone,
What a heartfelt gift
There is no better song.
(The lyrics of the song are printed and copied in advance. Distribute to the guests.)

SONG
to the melody of “At the spinning wheel”
1. Autumn has flown by
Vova gathered all the guests.
Let's sit at a feast as if
Let's talk about the anniversary.
2. And that’s true, that’s true,
The anniversary is not easy here,
Well, this needs to be measured out like this,
You shake your head.
3. And yours has survived,
Surprise takes over
By God they would fall in love,
It's a pity, Lyudmila, he doesn't.
4. The hero of the day needs something else,
And he works like an ox,
How will he go digging potatoes?
No one will get hijacked.
5. Oh, it's true, it's true,
This master is no matter where
And besides, we need to say,
That I'm crazy about my grandchildren.
6. We will not praise our wife,
The lady is not great.
Let's look at the hero of the day.
Without him, where would you be?
7. Why does she care?
He lives on ready-made food.
In the morning he will get up, shake himself off,
He will have a snack and leave.
8. Oh, girlfriend, don’t swear,
Oh, girlfriend, don't be sad,
Even though they are women, they are women,
There's nowhere without men
9. Such is our lot,
There's no need for you to be angry
We wish the hero of the day
Live another hundred years in harmony.
HOST: And now we offer you a lottery.
JOKE LOTTERY
1. To cook borscht perfectly, you need cabbage for seasoning.
(Cabbage.)
2. Acetylsalicylic acid will warm you up even without cognac.
(Aspirin.)
3. Don’t try to get angry at everyone and a nail will come in handy around the house.
(Nail.)
4. You thought that there was no happiness,
Oh, what a weirdo you are
Here, buy yourself some candy,
For a nickel won
(Penny.)
5. When you go for a walk,
And so that your pants don't fall off,
You must have with you
A pin made of steel
(Pin.)
6. After a glass, have a snack,
This is a very important matter.
Here's a sleeve for you
(Paper napkin.)
7. Carpet 2x3.
(Handkerchief.)
8. Here's a flower for you,
Please save
He will help you
To lure a lover(tsu).
(Flower.)
9. To throw off ten years ago
You don't need to think long
Excellent will give advice
This amazing lipstick
(Beet.)
10. We have provided you with hooks
Well, sew the skirts yourself
(Hooks.)
11. Fry, cook, boil,
Just don't add too much salt
(A pack of salt.)
12. To send greetings to friends, an envelope is also useful
(Envelope.)
13. Pour 100, pour 200, you can’t do it alone, let’s do it together
(Vodka.)
14. You are the best guest today
This nail is a gift for you.
(Nail.)
15. Don't be angry with us, my friend.
Here's a box of matches for you
(Matches.)
16. If you don’t wash your heels, cover them with a heel
(Successor.)
17. You will save a thousand in time
If there is a wallet
(Wallet.)
18. Here's your badge
Wear a brooch instead
(Icon.)
For a good friend, there's a head of garlic
(Garlic.)
19. How to tie a ribbon in a bow,
You will immediately become the first dandy
(Thread.)
20. If you want to cry, you need to rub your eyes with onions
(Onion.)
HOST: I invite all guests to take part in games and attractions.
GAMES
1. “By touch.” Folds 8-10 into a dark bag of material small items: scissors, bottle cap, fountain pen, button, spoon, thread, thimble, meat grinder knife, etc. You need to feel through the fabric of the bag to guess what is in it. The fabric should not be rough or too thin.
2. “Reversed pairs.” Two or three pairs are tied back to back (legs and arms free). These couples must dance a waltz, tango, lady dance and run 10 meters back and forth like Siamese twins.
3. “Whose ball is bigger?” The competition is simple: participants receive balloon and on command they begin to inflate. The one whose balloon bursts is out of the game.
The one with the largest ball in volume wins.
4. “Match-spear.” Draw a line on the floor with chalk and, without crossing it, throw an ordinary match at a distance like a spear. The winner can be determined by three throws.
5. "Dancers". Swipe dance competition with objects to the melodies “Apple”, “Cossack”, “Kalinka” t, l etc. Let the participants dance:
a) with an apple (ball, ball);
b) with chairs and stools;
c) with a glass of wine, etc.
HOST: And now I propose that intellectuals compete. Solve anagrams and logarithms.
1. Breathing easily in my shadow
You often praise me in the summer,
But rearrange my letters
And you will knock down a whole forest with me.
(Linden - saw.)
2. I’m lying on the ground nailed to the iron, but if you rearrange the letters in the pan, I’ll climb.
(Sleeper - noodles.)
3. Along the wire I rush nights and days.
And from the end they will read me, I am a tiger from relatives
(Tok - cat.)
4. Geography with me
Children study at school,
Give me a different order of letters
And you'll find me at the buffet
(Atlas - salad.)
5. I know the dish, when you add “m”,
I will fly and buzz, annoying everyone
(Ukha is a fly.)
HOST: Dear guests! We had a lot of fun. Our evening is coming to an end. I propose to sing a song for the hero of the day.
(The evening ends with songs and dances.)
POSTERS FOR HALL DECORATION
1. “Bureau for issuing young pensioners” is open from 8.00 to 20.00
seven days a week, break from 14.00 to 15.00.

2. Paradise with young pensioners in a hut.
3. Pension is the dove of peace.
4. Don’t make smart faces, you’ll retire too.
5. A husband is a husband, but he is not needed without a pension.

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We meet the hero of the occasion - confetti, red carpet, fresh flowers, or a crown and throne. We meet at the door, he (she) appears. Meeting with colorful fabrics or ribbons (7 pieces)

We will greet ___________________ with colorful flowers,
After all, in life different stages were.
We want to repeat these steps,
After all, you probably haven’t forgotten them. _____________________ (mth), _____________ (date), year ____ - th -
A good boy was born, such a good girl...

He's just a baby, and that's why
Everything was PURPLE to him
Childhood then is the golden time,
Life is carefree, like a game.
Even though the guy (girl) was smart,
But in childhood there was still
GREEN youth... it's a pity, it won't be like this anymore...

This is, of course, the color BLUE.
In my youth I met
He (s) his love,
______________ and I started a family together.
They were young, beautiful...
The color we choose is BLUE.

The children were born - there is no one more beloved!
Let it be ORANGE (WHITE) color...
I was always loaded with difficult work.
The light is YELLOW.

And now - your holiday - solid, beautiful,
Let it be bright, walk under RED!

For all the heroes of the occasion at such moments, we are all ready to give endlessly, together... APPLAUSE!!!

_______________ (name) ours is amazing! We want you to invite all the guests to the table now!

Good evening dear friends, relatives, colleagues! Today, on this beautiful day, in such a solemn and warm atmosphere, we have gathered in this cozy hall in order to congratulate everyone’s beloved and respected ____________________. Let's try today to make sure that the smile does not leave our (his) ________ face, and her (his) eyes shine with happiness... I sincerely welcome all the guests gathered here and gladly open this holiday!

This day brought us together and united us, ______________ eclipsed everyone in a place of honor, because it’s not for nothing that he (s) was awarded today by fate - this date, which is popularly called dear! Even if it’s the beginning of the century outside, we won’t change traditions; let’s sip a glass of wine for a dear person. May this day go down in history forever, and may ___________________ bring only happiness! And let the guests have fun carelessly, I hope no one leaves the holiday sad! To start the celebration as it should be, everyone is invited to fill their glasses!!!

Before the spouse's toast: Dear guests! You are all witnesses that the light of one star does not fade in our horizon. And by the way, there is a fan among us who has been studying this for many years... One day they met and fell in love with each other, and live together to this day... Of course you guessed it - I’m talking about the precious 2nd half, this...

1st toast ________________

Guest introduction

Wonderful charm, tenderness, grace for the hero of the occasion, for the charming one, your ovation!!

Let's extend Beautiful moments
For the husband (wife) your applause!

This evening, the pleasant excitement of the guests of honor is the performance. We have a lady present here.
Native sister __________________!
Cousins ()
Are located here
Now there will be a storm of applause in the hall!

There is always peace in my soul,
When your sons (daughters) are next to you.
Mom (Dad) have them very good, let's clap our hands for that

And now I’ll tell you more simply:
Happy holiday to you
Favorite daughters-in-law.
They are all here and waiting for applause too!

And for his grandmother (grandfather), on such a beautiful day, the grandchildren are here, now gathered.
They were waiting for applause
And now we greet the matchmakers together!
We really need their presence.

I would like to introduce you soon
Wonderful, loyal friends!!!
They are also waiting for applause
Show yourself where you are!

Now let's clap our hands. and to all the guests, good luck to you!

Meeting the guests

2 toast ___________________________

Thoughts on who arrived on what

We ______________________ present a retirement apron.

He is an indicator of the start of a new life.
They sewed special pockets on it.
And they decided to explain their meaning:

1. Pocket one, gets on your nerves:
Pension pocket.
A pension for work is a reward, and a big pocket is a joy.
The pension dangles in him, and it’s hard to believe that it doesn’t end!

2. The second pocket is not so big.
Pocket for gifts for grandchildren.
Don't put gifts in the chest.
To treat your grandchildren, keep them in your pocket at the ready.

3. The third pocket is like a trap for a stash.
Hide it far, hide it deep,
So that no one finds, so that no one takes away!

4. Pocket fourth, the most worn.
Pocket for glasses.
Put your glasses in your pocket and don’t try to use them often,
Resist vision loss.

5. Fifth pocket, for seed bags.
Pocket for individual labor activity.
Sow your garden. Harvest the harvest.
Without pickles and preserves, retirement will not be paradise.

6. Pocket six - time to rest.
Pocket for seeds.
Sitting on a bench, click the seeds.
You retired, you found extra time.
Wear ______________ apron, don’t take it off, treat your friends to tea!
Now you have a free life:
Ahead - “free program”:

If you want, sleep, but if you want, have fun.
If you want, starve, but if you want, get better
(But this task is difficult to complete:
Eating a lot of fat is impossible today!)
If you want, open a cooperative,
If you want, travel with a letter of credit.

Both Monaco and Valencia are waiting for you
(If you have income other than a pension!)
If you want, watch a movie in the morning,
Or open the window wide
And hula-hoop for hours.

If you don’t want to “twist”, lie down.
Now you can rest easy,
Love, be friends, walk at night
(after all, you can sleep in the morning!)
And see friends more often,
And read different books!

3 toast ________________________________

Competition by choice

PENSION CERTIFICATES with the following comment. You must make this certification yourself. On the front side write who it was given to, and on the other side - the following wish:

How will you receive the book?
Take care of her - They won’t give you money
Without a book, oh my!
Be a girl at heart
Jump like a goat
But this little book
Respect for
That you can drive
Without taking a ticket.

If you want, fold your hands,
Since there is no hunting
Commute to work
And break the spine
That's just what you're looking for
Will you buy me a bite?

How will you receive your pension?
You will live for five days
And you will rush with a song
Work hard again!
Such a pension
It’s not in vain that they give us -
So that we don't grow old
Never, friends!

For this concern
Dear authorities
Let's not leave work
Until the last days!!!

Sand ceremony

Dear ___________________________!

Now we will create a festive cocktail together with you! So,

1. White color- you were born!
Making mom and dad happy!
They gave you the name.
For joy, love and happiness!

2. Blue - you are 18!
Dancing, love and flowers!
Youth, romance!
Do you have something to remember?
Your hopes and dreams!

3. Red is your holiday!
And again you are good!
Wisdom has arrived, your life is arranged!
Children dote on the soul!

4. Orange is the color of success.

5. Yellow is the color of sun, comfort, warmth,
Always have good weather at home!

6. Green is the color of wealth
Let him bring happiness with gold!

And to avoid boredom, these sparkles are your grandchildren! Dilute your cocktail with them, and life will become more fun!

I worked a lot, and my work was not in vain!
This is why, my dear, you have been given a pension!
You have become more prosperous, poverty will not return.
Thank you very much to the President, he takes care of everyone!
Don't be sad, don't be sad, there's no going back to those past days!
Smile always and everywhere, and don’t go to the doctor!
God grant that everything goes well.
Always behave decently!
Don't get sick, don't be sad,
Eat in moderation and sleep soundly,
Never grow old
All men like it!
Enough talking about fairy tales!
Now is the time to drink vodka.

Competition by choice

Pension is a word that flows gently like a stream.
Just ask anyone
Who doesn't think about her?
Everyone goes out of their way,
To live until retirement.

Only in retirement can you
Live calmly, don't bother.
No need from the director
No need to ask for time off.
The money will be sent directly to your home
Postmen bring.

Take care of your health,
Take a cold shower
And all the colds and illnesses
Don't let him on the threshold.
On the estate plot
Sow cabbage, radish, horseradish,
So that your ship is a family one
Didn't give the slightest tilt.

And we wish you the most
(God is my witness - that’s the cross)
So that you can see (see) during your lifetime
Your great-grandchildren's brides.

If you occasionally feel sad,
If the light becomes not nice,
Let it remind you of us
This modest souvenir.

(A gift is given.)

Raffle box or by name

Line up 11 people with the letters PENSIONER

Attention! Attention! Your finest hour is coming! Answer quickly and correctly! The presenter asks the hero of the day questions, to which she answers: “Yes.”

Do you have the title of an ideal wife?

Blow a kiss to your other half.

Title “ loving mother" There is?

Name the children.

Has the respectable title of “mother-in-law” been awarded?

Give your son-in-law a compliment.

Has the high title of “grandmother” already been earned?

How does the fairy tale “The Wolf and the Seven Little Goats” end?

The answer to all questions was “yes”, the test was passed with honor. This means that the time has come to add the noble title “Pensioner” to the titles already mentioned.

Readiness No. 1. Eleven guests line up in one line, each with a piece of paper with a letter in their hands, and together they form the word “pensioner.” While the host reads the poem, after each line, the guests turn over one letter in order.

So many years have flown by...
We barely had time to count...
But it’s not worth it, we know, no...
Suffer and be sad...
And there is still a large supply,
Let's reveal a secret:
...Our hero does not lose heart...
We will cope with it for a hundred years...
Blush, joyful,...
Beautiful, sweet,...
Active as a pioneer...
Worthy of the title...
All. Pensioner.

To the applause and fireworks of sparklers, the hero of the day is tied with a “Mrs. Liberty” ribbon over her shoulder.

Oath of a young pensioner

Leading: Today we accept our ……….. into the pensioners society ( name of state) and take an oath from her:

I, a young pensioner of _________ (name of country), joining the honorary society of pensioners, working and non-working, moderate drinkers and non-drinkers, poking my nose everywhere, solemnly swear: To be a worthy member of society, that is, to constantly be of sound spirit and sound body Don’t let yourself be knocked down by the wind, illness, or drunkenness.

She): I swear!

Leading:

Work tirelessly, without stretching your legs.
Walk confidently along any road!
I swear!

Leading:

Be sharp on the tongue, eyes and ears.
Don’t give in to sadness, illness, or cold!
I swear!

Leading:

Drink only with friends, and then little by little.
Always find a path to the house.
I swear!

Leading: Dear ___________________! We accept you into the ranks so that you will not know trouble.
Don’t get sick, don’t be discouraged, eat more, sleep better.
Be cheerful and don’t swear, never worry.
Young so that a pensioner can do everything and manage to do everything.
To live, when everything is in moderation, to the title of honorary pensioner.
And when you are a hundred, we will set this table again!

Competitions, costume show

Competition by choice

HOST: Hello dear guests! Hello, dear birthday girl, Lyudmila Mironovna!
Why are there so many people?!
All my friends have gathered here,
For a well-deserved rest,
They came to congratulate you.
Today we are in friendly fun company decided to congratulate the hero of the day.
Fifty-five - is that really a lot?
Let them say “everything has been lived” - don’t believe it,
While we live, what was, is - everything is alive.
When else will life slam the door on us?
You still have a lot to do,
Live long, wisely and beautifully!
And I want to raise the first glass to our hero of the occasion.
You are a woman - a flower, a source and a star,
Mysteriously tender, beautiful and proud.
You are the flame of the hearth and home,
You are the light on earth that never goes out.
HOST: And now I would like to give the floor for congratulations to the director of our team.

DIRECTOR: Dear Lyudmila Mironovna!
From the bottom of my heart with great respect
Today, please accept our congratulations.
We are pleased to congratulate you and wish you
Still work, still dare.
Do not grow old in soul and appearance
Be blooming as before.
To keep the flame of the soul, to live, to still love.
Be as beautiful as always for you for many years to come.
(A memorable gift is presented.)
HOST: You cried when you were born,
And everyone around laughed...
But we really did have a little pensioner. You all know how capricious little ones can be, they are afraid of colds, and they are not overly smart, so to prevent her ears from getting swollen, her head from getting hot, and also to prevent unnecessary thoughts from creeping into her head, we decided to give her a cap. (The presenter puts a cap on the hero of the day.) And you all know that little ones are so inept and so awkward that when they eat they get dirty themselves and dirty everything that surrounds them, so that this doesn’t happen we give her an apron. (The presenter puts on an apron for the hero of the day.) And I also want to add to the above that little pensioners get upset about any reason, they have nothing to do, they worry about everyone, so their eyes are often wet. To prevent our pensioner from crying, we decided to give her a pacifier. (The presenter gives a pacifier on a scarlet ribbon. A cap for an adult and an apron are sewn in advance.)
HOST: And now I want to raise a glass to the birth of a new pensioner, but very, very young, who still has a lot of things to do!
HOST: (helping to take off her cap, apron and pacifier): Well, she’s fed, she’s not blowing anywhere, and most importantly she won’t cry. And now I propose to give my colleagues the opportunity to congratulate Lyudmila Mironovna.
CONGRATULATIONS FROM COLLEAGUES
We congratulate you on this significant event,
Today is your legal anniversary,
We wish you great health,
And there are many sincere friends in life.
Anniversary is a special date,
Where they mentally sum up.
What could I have done wrong at some point?
What is expensive, you probably saved.
We congratulate you with all our hearts
And we want to wish you happiness,
Let in your home climate,
There will never be bad weather.
We don't give it to the birthday girl,
No headsets, no rings,
Surely you will receive it warmer,
Greetings from friendly hearts.
(Giving a gift. Here you can have one of your colleagues tell you how he met the hero of the day, remember an interesting incident at work, etc.) (The presenter announces a break, filling it with games and attractions. During the break, those present are given poems that were prepared in advance printed.)
HOST: “New” pensioners came to visit us to congratulate us.
1. We came to this house
Wish you for long years,
Please accept from us Lyudmila
Our pioneer greetings.
2. Just think,
Everyone is retiring
And now we will tell you,
How do they live in retirement?
3. We wish you a lot of happiness
This evening and forever.
Less clouds, rain, bad weather,
Luda is a nice person.
4. Worked a lot
It was not in vain that I worked hard,
This is why, dear,
You have been given a pension.
5. We wish for more grandchildren,
Don't grow old any longer
If the son and daughter are not gaping,
Then you, Luda, will be a heroine grandmother.
6. You have become more prosperous
Poverty will not return. ,
Thank you very much to Putin,
Takes care of everyone.
7. You will sit at home,
You will be bored, grow old,
When you sing in the choir,
You will immediately look younger.
8. Don't be sad, don't be sad,
There's no going back to those days of old
Smile always and everywhere
And don't go to doctors.
9. I would go out to work,
I'm tired of sitting
But I'm afraid of taxes
Better at home - I’ll get by.
10. God grant that everything will be fine,
Always behave decently
Don't get sick, don't be sad,
Eat in moderation and sleep soundly,
Never grow old
All men like it.
HOST: Since we are talking about men, I want to introduce you to a man who fell in love with our Lyudochka many years ago and is still a support and shoulder in family life for Luda. So, word from the wife of the hero of the day.
CONGRATULATIONS FROM HUSBAND
Generously with warmth
You illuminate everyone
A cloudy smile
You give away the day.
So let it be with you
Occurs more often
Simple earthly
Much needed happiness.
Always young and
Be perky
About being a grandmother
Forget thinking.
Fun and joy
Anytime and anywhere,
Best wishes
I wish you.
Thank you for finding words at the right moment that please, console, and adore me. I want to drink to the fact that you exist!
HOST: And now comes the solemn moment. Based on all of the above, the pensioners’ council allows you, Lyudmila Mironovna, to join the pensioners’ party. To do this you must take an oath.
OATH
BIRTHDAY GIRL: I,..., joining the ranks of pensioners in the face of my relatives, friends, colleagues, husband and children, solemnly swear: with the fervor of my heart, to be true to my word, as the pensioner party teaches. Strictly observe and fulfill the duties of the party. To replenish your family with creatures with the help of your children, to our delight, in spite of our enemies, in defiance of our neighbors. I swear! I swear! I swear!
(The text of the oath must be printed in advance. You can also present a comic pass to the party of pensioners with a photo and seal here.)
HOST: Well, now I want to acquaint the young pensioner with her responsibilities and rights.
Responsibilities: 1. Get up, wash.
2. Sit down and eat.
3. Receive guests,
Don't forget your friends.
4. Put the mash to distill.
5. Play sports this year.
6. Be ready for defense and labor.

Rights: 1. When I want, then I get up.
2. As long as I want, I lie there.
3. If I want to, I’ll start drinking.
4. I will go where I want.
5. When I want, then I sleep.
6. I love whoever I want.
(You can propose a toast to the new “pass”.)
HOST: We sincerely wish you happiness
And let every hour be joyful.
Let misfortunes pass you by,
Let your children and grandchildren love you more deeply.
So, I give the floor to Lyudmila Mironovna’s children.
  
On this day, dear mother,
Please accept congratulations from us, from the children.
For us, you are still the most important,
Although we have become a little older.
You are the kindest woman in the world,
There are no more beautiful eyes in the world,
And your hands are like huge wings,
They always protect us from harm.
Years have passed, my head has turned gray,
A lot of worries and worries are behind us,
But what does age matter?
If there is a warm heart in the chest.
(A gift is given from the children.)
HOST: And now I propose to move on to dancing and outdoor games.
(While the dancing and games are going on, the presenter brings in a large box, for example, from under a TV, on which is written “Banderol.” He also brings in telegrams.)
HOST: Now, while everyone was having fun, postman Pechkin came. As you yourself can probably guess, telegrams and even a parcel post arrived at the hero of the day’s address. He himself refused to come in because he was afraid that the bicycle would be stolen and trusted me to read out the telegrams.
TELEGRAMS
Hello grandma, don't be sad,
The candy is out, mind you
I made onions, dried my socks,
I’ve been writing a letter to you for two days,
And there's a sparrow on the window,
That's it, I'm finishing.
Your grandson Sergei.
Moscow, Ministry of Finance.
The budget is in deep deficit
Don’t look for money in the Ministry of Finance,
I wish I could send you a translation,
Yes, the Duma does not give money. Are you 55?
And you are perky!
Happy Birthday to you!
Zadornov.
Saint Petersburg.
I send greetings from St. Petersburg,
I wish Luda many years to come.
I wish I had your young age,
I would create a mess.
Love, peace, success
I wish you on your anniversary.
Pyekha.
USA, Washington, The White house.
All boundaries between us have been erased,
My words fly like birds.
Our States congratulate you,
Try to live richly
Don't rush into impeachment
I wish you health, good luck and food!
I took a sip of a glass for you. Happy anniversary to you.
Clinton Bill
Moscow, LDPR Headquarters.
Yes, definitely, on this day
Even a stump is obliged to love.
I wish you all the best,
Although it won't be cheap.
Well, for starters, for example,
You all should join the LDPR.
Sorry if the humor is flat.
Happy anniversary to you!
Zhirinovsky.
BANDEROL
(An instruction must be attached to each gift. The hero of the day opens the parcel, shows the gift and reads the instruction to everyone.)
1. So that there is happiness in the house,
So that you love everyone,
So that the house is full,
Take a porridge pot as a souvenir.
2.And also take a fountain pen,
Copy grandchildren
So that you take them in your arms
And I heard them screaming.
3. Our hero of the day, Luda,
My husband and I lived in harmony
Take the frying pan from us.
4. To preserve goodness, warmth,
Luda, drink wine skillfully,
Know your limit firmly
Don't grab an extra glass,
The sobering-up station decided to help,
He gave his gift,
It will remind
How much do you need to take as normal? (Thimble.)
5. Darling, throw an Orenburg down scarf over your shoulders. (A piece of gauze.)
6. To know everything in the world, you should read newspapers. (Newspaper.)
7. After a drink, have a snack
It's a very important matter
Here, Luda, instead of a sleeve
Paper napkin.
(Colleagues can also bring a parcel and read out the text for all gifts themselves.)
HOST: Be beautiful all the time -
Both soul and self,
Be loved all the time -
Both in winter and spring.
Don't bow down like a mountain ash
If there is trouble.
Stay happy
On this day and always.
HOST: And now I want to give a response to the hero of the day.
(The hero of the day thanks the guests.)
HOST: Our evening is coming to an end. I propose to sing a few songs for the hero of the day.
(The lyrics have been printed and copied in advance. Distribute to the guests.)
SONG
to the tune of "Wonderful Neighbor"
1.We have gathered here today
All for festive table.
We congratulate Lyudmila
Happy anniversary day.
You, dear, are so beautiful
And today and always.
Well, the main thing, of course,
You are the kindest soul.
Chorus: Pam-pam, pa-pa-pa-pa-pam-pam,
Pam-param-pa-pam-pam,
Pam-para-pam-pa.
2.And we also wish you
Be healthy forever
And don’t know about hospitals -
Only sometimes.
Temper yourself, dry yourself off
Morning, evening and afternoon.
And don’t doubt your family -
We will come to you again.
SONG
to the melody of V. Solovyov-Sedoy “It’s time to hit the road”
1.Tonight, tonight, tonight
A pleasant responsibility fell on our shoulders.
We salute Lyudmila
At this festive table,
And now we’ll sing this song for her.
Chorus: Oh, dear Luda,
We cannot, we cannot help but love you.
Same as Lyudmila

2. We like Luda, like, like,
And she is rightfully famous for her kindness.
And on this day and at this hour
Any of us will confirm to you,
That our hero of the day is simply classy!
Chorus: Ah, people's hands
They know how to wash the floor, cook soup, and plant a garden.
Same as Lyudmila
It can never be anywhere.
3. We are brave, brave, brave guests,
We are very happy to congratulate you on your birthday.
Now for the People of the Year we will drink once and drink twice,
But so that tomorrow you don’t have a headache.
(The evening ends with songs and dances.)

A retirement banquet is usually held on a grand scale. The celebration is attended by the management of the organization, colleagues with whom the future retiree worked (if the organization is small, then the entire team is present), and sometimes the relatives of the hero of the occasion. Therefore, the organizers of the upcoming holiday will have to take into account many nuances, for example, how to accommodate unfamiliar people (relatives and colleagues) so that everyone feels comfortable at the celebration.

I suggest decorating the hall in one style, for example, a starry night. Instead of flowers often used in decoration, let there be bright yellow stars of different sizes in the hall. Make a few stars really glowing - stick on crushed glitter Christmas decorations, chopped rain. Cut out a “growing” moon from paper, decorated with rhymes and funny faces. Attach the stars and the moon to the walls. You can also glue strings to the cut out paper stars and hang them on everything. possible fastenings.

Hang a drawn bag on the wall, and next to it put self-adhesive note paper (several colors for variety) and several multi-colored markers, let those present at the celebration write wishes on a piece of paper and stick it on the bag. You will end up with an improvised “bag of wishes” that you can then take with you.

In the solemn part of the script of the hero of the day with solemn speech management, trade union and relatives speak out. The culprit is given a memorial (congratulatory) address. Internal decoration of a memorial address is usually limited to flowers and photographs different years hero of the occasion. I suggest decorating with photographs of the organization (factory, workplace) and the home department or all employees of the organization (if the number is small). So, combine a memorable address with a vignette of colleagues. Well, in the solemn part of the script, we must try to avoid “funeral” speeches and poems.

Presenter 1:
Dear present! Today we gathered about the exit (name of hero of the occasion) for a well-deserved rest. Let the night masters of the stars and the moon and the daytime sun give you the fulfillment of all your desires!

Official part with speeches and presentation of a memorial address and the main gift.

Presenter 1:
Let's begin the entertaining and educational part of today's gatherings. To begin with, we will announce the results of correspondence testing of acquired skills. (name of the hero of the day).

Presenter 2:
Behind (age of the hero of the day) crawled, walked, ran and listened to grueling lessons in survival in the harshest earthly conditions. Current level of skills and knowledge (name of the hero of the day) is:

Presenter 1:
Russian language - mastered the course of avoiding the answer using highly artistic linguistic expressions. Developed by effective technique using speech oratory in the field of family communication to your advantage. But, very noticeable (name of the hero of the day) problems in mastering obscene swearing or, in the old-fashioned way, “barking obscene language,” which knocks him out of the ranks of pleasant interlocutors in certain circles.

Presenter 2:
Mathematics – Very tangible success in planning a personal budget within any salary level. Wherein (name of the hero of the day) successfully mastered the technique of distributing costs and income exclusively in his favor. Difficulties arise when calculating the time spent reading newspapers, lying on the sofa and watching football matches.

Presenter 1:
Geography – Effective Application skills in orienteering after any recreational activities with a 100% return home, despite many natural obstacles such as puddles, hummocks, ravines and curbs.

Presenter 2:
Music - (name of the hero of the day) found fame in the field of using voice reproduction of music, simply singing, the rollicking chant completely delights the neighbors in the house, moreover, they unanimously join in and, in the absence of their own voice of equal tonality, “sing along” by knocking with a mop and drumming on the radiators. But there are (name of the hero of the day) very noticeable problems in mastering the game on the nerves of family and friends.

Presenter 1:
Labor – Will confidently list the names of carpentry and construction tools with dictionary. Recognizes the “face” as an axe, screwdriver and pliers. He is well versed in sayings about work, which he uses successfully depending on life circumstances, especially his favorite one about a wolf running into the forest.

Presenter 2:
Biology – (name of the hero of the day) noticed in the practical development of a certain area of ​​biology, the logical consequence of which was the emergence (names of the children of the hero of the day). Has a passion for studying fish, mushrooms, animals and flora. Why does he search with great zeal for research material in the vastness of his dacha in (Name settlement) , in forests (if the hero of the day is a mushroom picker or hunter, indicate specific areas) and rivers (for fishermen). But for a reason unknown to us (name of the hero of the day) The components of flora and fauna on the Canary and Hawaiian Islands are poorly understood.

Presenter 1:
Chemistry – (name of the hero of the day) any sausage, wiener and doctor's sausage will determine the eyes closed chemical composition, using exclusively the taste buds of the tongue for identification. Has insufficient knowledge to produce diamonds from graphite, wine from water.

Presenter 2:
Physical education - amazes the visual nerves of others with its athletic appearance. While playing, he overtakes the magic carpet and the 600th Mercedes. Seeing a photo of biceps (name of the hero of the day) Brothers Klitschko and Nikolai Valuev lose consciousness.

Presenter 1:
Science Council our team, having carried out an in-depth test of theoretical knowledge and practical skills (name of the hero of the day) decided:

Presenter 2:
To you, (name of the hero of the day) There is still something to strive for, so you are heading for a re-examination in 50 years. The decision cannot be appealed. In the meantime, we are issuing a certificate confirming that you have talented inclinations and immense charm, the certificate is valid until (date of birth of the hero of the day in 50 years).

Presentation of a certificate.
On the front part the text is written: “Certificate certifying that (name of the hero of the day) talented in everything, as we assure the whole team. Signature and date." In the inner part: “Exam results and then the above text from the script for the subjects.” Decorate the certificate colorfully and sign it with the entire team.

Presenter 1:
WITH (name of the hero of the day) The devil himself is not afraid of us!
With him, even now, on reconnaissance, even on a flight to Mars!

Presenter 2:
But then we’ll go on reconnaissance with you
Now let’s pour the drinks into glasses!

Raising glasses in honor of the hero of the day.

Presenter 1:
We gathered as a friendly team
On a wonderful evening just to
What we really need today
Congratulations, wishing you everything!

Presenter 2:
This is where the problem lies for us
The congratulatory musical hour has arrived.
And my colleague and I were hit by a bear in our ears,
But wait! It seems I have found a solution!

Presenter 1:
That's right, why should we strain our throats for nothing!
If there are sympathetic friends in the room!

Presenter 2:
I will choose worthy singers now,
They will sing like Pavarotti for you.

Several people call. It is announced to them that in order for everyone to be on equal terms, they will draw the lyrics of the songs like lots. Prepare sheets of paper for the number of participants in the action. Fold the leaves so that what is written is inside. New singers take a leaf out of their hat, unfold it and see the following - the name of the song and the style of performance. The point is that the performers will have to not just sing with words, but, for example, hum a melody. One verse is enough. The audience must identify the song. Then, when all the performers have performed their compositions, the whole group can sing these verses to musical accompaniment (distribute the words, at least one copy between two). Suitable for playback: Happy Birthday, a song by Crocodile Gena, a song from the cartoon about Winnipooh “It’s nice to give to a friend”, a verse from I. Nikolaev’s song “Birthday” and a verse from the song performed by I. Allegrova “Birthday”. Possible options executions: bleat, bark, hum, groan, gasp, scream (you can make do with one letter - “a”, you can also use “e”).

Presenter 1:
So we sang songs with our souls,
Of course, everyone will agree with me now.

Presenter 2:
Our hut is not only red with songs,
We have a whole bag of gifts for the hero of the day!

Presenter 1:
This May (current month) and a sweet month
We have prepared a huge bag for you.
And with joy, from our hearts we tear away
This wonderful, valuable and unique handkerchief!

Presentation of a handkerchief.

Presenter 2:
We bought a scarf together.
You shouldn't even guess on maps
From our boundless generosity
Not just a scarf - we are ready to give away a towel!

Handing over a towel (face or bath at your discretion).

Presenter 1:
We think about everything ahead of time
For a decent meeting of guests
And support the aesthetic appearance of the table
Grab the tablecloth quickly!

Presentation of the tablecloth.

Presenter 2:
So that our gifts are not damaged
And there was something to wipe my face and hands with
I ask you for a few packs,
And give all the guests one napkin!

Presenting several packages of napkins to the hero of the day. Do not distribute one napkin to guests yet.

Presenter 1:
The kindness of our borders cannot be recognized,
Should you give gifts to guests?

Presenter 2:
A colleague correctly noted the point,
I ask for a compliment for every napkin!

Each guest is given a napkin in exchange for a compliment or wish for the hero of the day.

In order to avoid identical and monotonous compliments and wishes, prepare several guests in advance. For example, some quatrains or ditties:

I don’t know who assigns our pensions,
That's not enough for extra pants.
We wish you your retirement,
Live like Adam and Eve in paradise.

Strategic reserve
In our refrigerator
We invite you to visit
And we treat you to glory.

You have a wonderful cure for boredom,
Fun things to do grandchildren will provide you with it.
Do you want to take a break from retirement life?
Don't forget to visit us.

Presenter 1:
We gave you napkins for a reason
I conceived a secret plan.
I found a worthy use for gifts
After all, we are celebrating today!

Presenter 2:
How many delicious dishes are on the table
Aroma and appearance they beckon.

Presenters:
Come on, honest people
The sandwich is ready for you!
Live (name of the hero of the day) many, many years
Knowing no grief, no enemies, no troubles!

Of course, it is necessary and important to start with the design. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a banquet hall or an apartment, everything should have a festive look. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to hang photographs of the future pensioner on the walls, or make one large collage poster. Also don’t forget about Balloons and ribbons, paper garlands and lights. The second stage of preparing the holiday is musical accompaniment. Here it is necessary not only to take into account the taste of the person retiring, but also age feature invited Next, according to the menu plan, the seating of the guests, and now, almost everything is ready.

Characters:
Presenter, presenter, guests.

Props:
gifts for competitions, a “Happy Retirement” diploma, cards with phrases, a bag, pieces of paper with the names of songs, a bag.

The guests are seated, the future pensioner sits at the head of the table.

Presenter:
Good evening, ladies, gentlemen,
I'm glad to see everyone, I'm friends,
The reason for the meeting is excellent,
Retirement has arrived, hurray!

Presenter:
(Full name of the hero of the occasion),
Today all the lights are for you,
And at this moment, and at this hour,
I congratulate you from the bottom of my heart,
Let your dreams come true!

Presenter:
The first toast is to the venerable management, because you, like no one else, know our esteemed (full name of the hero of the occasion).

(Management says)

Presenter:
This evening promises to be an interesting one, and now I would like to begin by presenting an honorary diploma to the Hon. (Full name of the hero of the occasion). I warn you, it is not easy to confirm your pension, it is a kind of ticket to new life, and a solemn reminder of the path traveled (presents diploma).

The diploma should be humorous. For example, it should say the following:
The diploma is awarded (Full name of the hero of the occasion), for excellent mastery of the following vital disciplines:
- Mathematics - excellent (mastery of your finances, in particular nest eggs, thorough);
- Geography - excellent (in any condition and under any circumstances finds the way home);
- Russian language - excellent (can easily agree on everything);
- Music - good (not a bad game on the nerves of loved ones and colleagues).
Based on the above disciplines, we can say with confidence that we are ready for the next stage - retirement!

Presenter:
We've worked so hard, it's time to rest,
The years have flown by quickly,
But a pension is necessary in life,
And you can’t go anywhere without her!

Presenter:
You know, (names the year when the hero of the occasion went to first grade) in one of regular schools, there was one smart, intelligent boy, with very kind eyes and a big heart. He grew, developed, became a person and made his own plans. IN (year of admission to the institute), everything became obvious and understandable. Dreams appeared that needed to be quickly realized, ambitions, aspirations, and now, after a long search, that same smart boy came to (Name of the organization). Then it was (year of entry into work), excitement, fear, mastering a new activity, meeting colleagues and a long-awaited salary. Everything is the same as everyone else, everything is the same as always, but one thing made it different from the others (names the main quality of the hero of the occasion). And here it is, the long-awaited retirement, on which your colleagues rush to congratulate you.

(A short slide show can be shown here if the establishment has a projector)

Presenter:
I would like to know now
How will you congratulate
But I'll make it more difficult,
And I’ll order a rhyme for you!

Competition "Rhyme-making".
From all those present, 5-6 participants are selected and given one rhyme. The task is to come up with a greeting. Time spent 1 minute. Then everyone reads out the results and the best one will receive a prize. The winner will be determined by applause.

Rhyme options:
1) I hasten to congratulate you on your retirement,
And wish you well...

2) So the pension has arrived,
Brought happiness, rest...

3) The event is important, you can’t argue with it,
You need to love your pension, my friend...

4) Happy retirement to you, cheers,
The years have passed so quickly...

Presenter:
All congratulations are beautiful and special, but it seems to me that it’s time to read out my congratulations to family members!

Presenter:
Congratulations, that's certainly good, but how about we praise our (full name of the hero of the occasion)?

Competition "Praise me, praise me."
5-6 participants are selected. Everyone must say a laudatory adjective based on the given letter of the leader. The one who names the most will win. For repetition - elimination.

(The presenter offers a drink for all the positive and mentioned qualities)

Leading (addresses the hero of the occasion):
But tell me, what do you plan to do in retirement?

(After answer)

Presenter:
It's probably good to retire
Walking in the garden, relaxing on the sofa,
Retired, no fuss, easy
The whole day is filled with dreams.
There is time for yourself and for your family,
And you don't have to get up early in the morning,
If you want, draw, read, write poetry,
Or even memoirs.

Required preliminary preparation. You need to write on the cards the continuation of the phrase “I will retire,” put them in a bag, and have the host of the event pull out one at a time and read it out.
You will need: cards with phrases, a bag.

Example phrases. In retirement I will...
1. ...knit socks and scarves;
2. ... read the magazine “Murzilka”;
3. ... discuss fashionistas at the entrance;
4. ... ring the neighbors doorbell and run away;
5. ... listen to music loudly, setting the rhythm for the neighbors;
6. ...dress fashionably and seduce local old ladies;
7. ... play football with the local kids;
8. ... learn to be a hacker;
9. ... do nothing and just enjoy life.

Presenter:
(Offers a drink so that everything will be so, after which a 15-minute dance break is announced)

Presenter:
I announce a musical break! Dear friends, you will agree that there is no holiday without a song, so I propose that it is not easy to sing, but also to get the opportunity to win a small but pleasant prize.

Competition "Song".
Requires preparation. First, put pieces of paper with the names of the songs in a bag and mix. Several participants are selected. Everyone pulls out a piece of paper and gets their song. The task is to “show” the song without words. You cannot make sounds, hum tunes, you need to use gestures to explain which song you got. When they guess right, sing. Time for each participant is no more than a minute. Whoever shows the fastest and guess whose song will win a prize.
You will need: pieces of paper with the names of the songs, a bag.

Song options:
1. And someone went down the hill;
2. I got drunk and drunk;
3. A Christmas tree was born in the forest;
4. My bunny (Kirkorov);
5. A million scarlet roses;
6. A stream flows, a stream runs;
7. Smoke from menthol cigarettes;
8. I'm lying in the sun;
9. The girls are standing on the sidelines;
10. We are not stokers, we are not carpenters.
The list may be different.

Presenter:
And now, I gladly give the floor to our honorable (full name of the hero of the occasion).

(The host of the event says to everyone who comes)

Presenter:
You know what we forgot about, and we forgot about initiation into pensioners. The diploma was presented, congratulations were voiced, but the main thing was only now remembered! But fortunately I took care, prepared everything, all that remains is to voice it!

(The hero of the occasion reads out a comic oath)

Example:
I swear I'll rest
Don't forget your friends
And sometimes I will be with them,
Even drink the balm!
I swear to wander, walk and sleep,
I swear not to look for a job,
I swear that I will laugh
And I will enjoy life!
I swear I'll run every evening
Go to meet your friends,
I swear I won't be sad
I'm ready to become a pensioner!

(The oath may be different)

Presenter:
This is all good, but since (Full name of the hero of the occasion), we have no experience on how to behave in retirement, we decided to take care of this and stocked up on advice!

(The floor is given to friends who have already retired. Can be performed as ditties)

Congratulatory 1:
I retired
Now I don't know
What is the best thing for me to do?
I read books!

Congratulations 2:
I go to the store every day,
Three times, that's right
There's news and gossip,
And a beer barrel!

Congratulatory 1:
Don't be afraid of pensions, friend.
You'll like it here
Here they will pour some balm,
Hello get better!

Congratulations 2:
Sometimes I'm retired
Sometimes I miss you
But when I remember about work,
Lets go immediately!

(You can do without this part if you are not among the invited pensioners)

The host announces a 10-15 minute dance break.

Presenter:
I suggest to you, friends,
You need to remember the past,
Tell stories
Liven up the feast!

(Guests share funny stories associated with the hero of the occasion)

Presenter:
Not only kind words,
They will decorate the holiday, a wonderful evening,
Friends brought gifts,
Honor retirement!

Presenter:
Thank you everyone for this evening,
I want to say on my own behalf,
I wish you joy, happiness,
Love your retirement.
More rest, success,
Less troubles and fuss,
Let the world embrace you,
Your dreams will come true!

Presenter:
I join the wishes,
And on my own behalf I want to say,
May everything be perfect for you,
I wish you not to be bored!

Presenter:
Until we meet again, the evening is over,
But we will cherish in memory,
The moment is so warm and beautiful,
What a pity that time will flow...

If desired, you can add a few more to the script.