How to forget bad memories? How to forget a bad memory

For many people, the problem of developing memory and skills memorization and assimilation of texts is more relevant than the ability to forget the past and get rid of unnecessary information.

Today you can find a large number of advertisements in newspapers, on television and on the Internet, the headlines and announcements of which are full of promises to improve and restore memory. Anyone today can independently and easily find a mass useful information About, how to develop memory. But for effective work our memory needs not only the ability to reliably memorize, store and, if necessary, reproduce the necessary information. It is also important to be able to forget it.

In mnemonics (methods and techniques that facilitate memorization), there are special techniques designed for deliberate forgetting. And indeed, why, if there is involuntary and voluntary memorization, can forgetting be only involuntary?

So, the totality of methods and techniques of the ability to forget is called flying technology. The origin of this word is in Greek mythology. Leta is the river of oblivion located in the underworld of Hades. The souls that arrived in the kingdom of the dead, having tasted the water from this river, received oblivion and no longer remembered their earthly existence. From here came the expression - to sink into oblivion, meaning disappearance without a trace and oblivion.

What is the use of flying technology and its laws of forgetting? In what cases are they needed?

First of all, answering these questions, it should be said that forgetting is not a definitely negative quality of human memory, since the functioning of mnemonic processes without forgetting processes will be inadequate. It would be appropriate to recall the words of the outstanding Soviet psychologist Alexander Romanovich Luria - “ Many are working on how to find ways to remember better? But no one even thinks about the question: how best to forget?»

In this article, we will look at the most effective ways, which help a person to forget the past, which has a traumatic effect on his psyche, and learn how to forget information that has lost its relevance.

Forgetting methods can be used in at least two cases:

• To suppress unpleasant memories, especially those that have become compulsively repetitive.
• In order to erase unnecessary information from memory, which simply clutters up our brain.

Forgetting Method #1 - Suppression

This flying technique has a psychotherapeutic orientation, with its help you can forget the memories that traumatize the psyche.

Often the memory of unpleasant events does not give people peace of mind, and they begin to fear that these traumatic memories will begin to “emerge” again, and the more they are afraid of this, the more these fears are getting stronger. To relieve obsessions (involuntarily intrusive thoughts), you can use an exercise called "burning letter":

• Memories that make you suffer and experience discomfort, describe in detail and transfer them to a piece of paper. Then take this sheet, crumple it and place it in some kind of refractory dish, set it on fire. Watching the paper burn, think about how your experiences are burned, how they crumble and turn into ashes. All negative memories burned down! Throw the ashes out the window and scatter them in the wind!

The meaning of the “burning letter” exercise is that it helps not only to forget information, but to become the master of your memories. A person experiencing discomfort from past events can thus forget them. Of course this forgetting process can be unpleasant, but often it has the desired effect: a person does not turn on defense mechanisms, does not suppress memories, but vice versa, describing these events, gets rid of the memories associated with them.

Since ancient times, fire has played the role of the first for a human psychotherapist: looking at the flame, a person, in fact, was undergoing a psychotherapy session, clearing himself of heavy thoughts and throwing off the burden of primitive stresses from his shoulders. And if a person has a good imagination, and he is able to vividly imagine that not just paper, but also memories that traumatize his psyche are burning in the fire, then even if he wants, he will not be able to reproduce them.

" TV"Is another exercise often used by psychologists and psychotherapists in their practice to rid the patient of his burdensome memories:

• Try to bring your negative experiences to the screen as vividly as possible. big TV. Recall everything before the smallest details. Then take the remote, and mentally turn off the sound, view the "silent movie". Further, in a similar way, deprive the visualization of clarity, contrast, and, finally, brightness. Eventually, the image dims and disappears completely. The main thing is not to rush! To give the process of forgetting more effect, you can mentally unplug the cord from the outlet or throw the TV out the window. If the negative memories are not so tragic (say, just unpleasant), then with the help of this exercise you can translate them into a comedy genre. Imagine these events recorded on a video camera. Mentally let the record in reverse side, scroll it at high speed, use slow motion, add funny music to the picture, put a comedian in the “movie”, etc. If you learn to direct your memories, then it will be easier for you to manage them. Besides, where there is humor, there is no place for neurosis.

These exercises may not help you completely get rid of memories, but they will teach you not to be afraid of them. And this is very important, because by eliminating the fear of negative memories, we eliminate the cause of their involuntary appearance.

Forgetting Method #2 - Deletion

Other forgetting technique is designed to remove unnecessary information from memory that has lost its relevance and clutters up the “archive” of memory. For example, mnemonic matrices can be released from already used information material in order to fill them with new content.

Simplest forgetting method called " summer technical rag».

• For example, we filled the memory matrix with a number of images created from words. Then, focusing on the first cell of the matrix, we take a wet rag and erase the image (figurative group) in it. The first cell remains, we continue to see it clearly, but now it is empty, the place is free and now new associative compositions can be placed on it. Next, we sequentially, cell by cell, go through the entire matrix and erase all the remaining images in a similar way.

It should be noted that this method not entirely convenient if the mnemonic matrices are large. After all, it will take a lot of time and effort to consistently erase information from each individual cell. In such cases, it is appropriate to apply the laws of forgetting Solomon Veniaminovich Shereshevsky, a Russian-Soviet journalist and professional mnemonist, who, speaking with intellectual numbers in front of a huge audience, was forced not only to memorize large sequences of numbers, words, incoherent syllables, etc., but also to erase everything it's out of memory before the next view.

• « Worried that the individual sessions would not get mixed up with each other, I mentally erase the board and, as it were, cover it with a film that is completely hopeless and impenetrable. When the session ends, I mentally take it off ... I'm still talking to the audience, and at this time I kind of crush this film with my hands, hearing how it crunches.”- Shereshevsky shared secrets. So he deleted information immediately from the entire field of the mnemonic matrix, and not from each of its individual cells. In the event that such a method did not help to effectively forget the information, Solomon Veniaminovich resorted at first glance to paradoxical ways of forgetting: “ In order to remember, people write down ... It seemed ridiculous to me, and I decided to do it my own way: since they write down, therefore, they do not need to remember. So, if I write it down, I will know that I don’t need to remember it ... And I began to apply this law of forgetting in small things: in any assignments, in surnames, in telephones».

Trying to remember important information, most people tend to write it down. And the more often we write down what we want to remember, the less we use our memory. This is a direct path to memory atrophy, because without getting enough load, it works less and less. As a result, people come to the sad conclusion that they have bad memory, although he himself is often to blame for this.

Try not to use notepads and notebooks, trust your memory, load it so that it can fully work ( memory development exercises), and then it will stop letting you down. Mark something on paper only in case you need to forget it!

The process of mastering the skills of forgetting (as well as memorization) proceeds in accordance with the laws of Hegel's dialectics. At a certain point, the experience of voluntary forgetting leads to a qualitative leap, which makes it possible to forget unnecessary information only at the expense of willpower without the use of special methods of forgetting.

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We note right away that it is very difficult to forget something on purpose. The more effort a person makes to forget something, the more intrusive the memories will be. If you are concerned about the question of how to forget the past, you must understand: the past will pop up in memory at the most inopportune moment, it will appear in dreams, the most unexpected objects and situations will cause unwanted associations.

How to forget the past and start living

There is a parable: there were two Buddhist monks. On the way they met a river through which it was possible to wade. The woman asked to help her cross to the other side. One of the monks took her on his back and crossed the river.

Another began to resent: "You are a monk, you had no right to touch a woman." “I carried her and let her go,” the first replied, “and you still carry her.”

Sometimes the past greatly complicates our life, it "rolls", makes us experience unpleasant moments again and again. We "carry" this past and cannot be freed.

To forget the relationship and let go of the past, first of all, you need to understand that the past has already passed, that nothing can be corrected in the past. You can analyze the past, draw certain conclusions for yourself, decide how to act in the future in a similar situation, but nothing can be changed in the past itself.

But you can change the present and the future. The energy that is wasted on useless experiences on the topic: “if I could return everything, I would act ...” should be directed to the present and future. You can try to reduce the harm caused by an ugly act in the past. Look for opportunities to build relationships with the past in mind. Think about how to prevent a similar situation in the future.

Think about what the experienced situation has taught you, analyze your behavior and the behavior of the people with whom you were connected at that moment.

Try to draw your past or describe it as if from the outside, look at it through the eyes of an outsider.

Man is the master of his thoughts

1. Do not allow yourself to repeat the same thoughts over and over, do not "wind" yourself, trying to forcefully forget the past. You can write down unpleasant thoughts and destroy this paper.
2. Mentally thank all the participants in the unpleasant past, wish them good luck in the future.
3. Create a “closet” in your head to store these unpleasant memories. Try to "close" this closet and never open it again.

And remember, only if you are directed to the present and future can you forget and forgive the past.

Everyone has experienced heartache at some point. Someone was deceived, betrayed, robbed by close people. Someone just did not have a relationship with a lover. Someone committed an ugly act or did not do something on time, and now his soul constantly hurts from guilt. This mental pain prevents you from living happily, complicates relationships with other people, and constantly gnaws at a person. How to forget the past, what hurts and heal again full life?

Listen to yourself. What pain do you have? Is it the pain of loss from the fact that you felt good with someone, you were loved, and now you don’t have enough of these feelings? Or is it an insult to another person who doubted your merits and good qualities? Or maybe it's guilt?

Ask yourself a question that may seem strange: do you want to experience this pain? Don't rush to answer. For example, your lover left you, it hurts you. You complain about him to everyone you know. And you enjoy the fact that everyone pities you. Moreover, at the same time, you can feel your superiority, reflecting on the topics: "all the men ..., all the women ...". If you get rid of the pain, you will no longer be pitied, that is, you will strive to keep the pain.

How not to remember the past and forget

Treat the situation in which the pain was inflicted as life lesson think about what conclusions can be drawn from this situation. Having made a decision, try to forbid yourself to mentally return to the past.

If you feel pain from loss, consider how you can compensate for it. If offended - do something to be pleased with yourself, increase your significance in the eyes of yourself and your friends. To forget the past, don't blame yourself for the past, it doesn't make sense.

Forbid yourself to hate the one who hurt you. Stop wishing him harm and dreaming of revenge. Your pain is in the past, from the fact that you take revenge in the present, the past will not change. “Let go” of the hurter, let him leave your thoughts.

Get creative, find yourself a new hobby, look for new friends, pile on your worries - let your thoughts be occupied not with worries, but with doing all these things and there will be no time to think about the past.

Time is the best doctor, it will help you forget the past. Give the emotional wound time to "tighten", put thoughts about the past into the "remote box". Life goes on, you will still be happy, believe in it.

How to forget past relationships

How can you open your heart to love again? Is it possible to quickly get rid of the depression that arose after a loved one left you? We are ready to give you some tips that will be effective in dealing with this problem.

In order to forget a relationship, you first need to forgive the person, even if he hurt you a lot before leaving. This will allow you to simply let go of the situation and forget about the problem. As long as you remember all the bad things that the partner did, there will be no place in your heart for a new person, and you may miss your love. Set yourself up for what forgiveness is excellent tool from sadness and depression. First of all, you are doing this for yourself.

How to forget the past? Spin a new romance, and let it be truly bright. It is not at all necessary to look for someone for long-term communication - a small affair will be enough. But here we make a reservation that for many women this option will be unacceptable.

Think ten times before using a new novel to fight old love- you may have a feeling of complete emptiness if you place more hopes on a man than you need. On the contrary, if you do not expect that the new partner will fall in love with you desperately, and you just need to unwind, then you can safely seek adventure. If your upbringing does not allow you to do this, even a little harmless flirting will raise not only your mood, but also your self-esteem - try it!

To forget the relationship, turn your attention to some other activity. For example, you can always sign up for a fitness club, courses foreign languages, start going to theaters, museums, cinemas. Volunteering helps to cope with any depression. Helping other people, you will involuntarily realize that matters of the heart are not the most important thing in life. This is what will allow you to quickly recover after a breakup.

And, of course, time helps to forget the past! No need to think that in a couple of days you will feel better, and you will again enjoy life as before. But, on the other hand, believe that depression is not forever. In fact, this is a normal condition that happens to everyone and is sure to pass. Let in a month or even a year - in any case, you will still be able not only to get rid of old memories, but also be sure to meet true love!

Life is full of events, and they are not always joyful: some of them you just want to erase from memory. However, often a person mentally plays a negative situation in his head, returning to it again and again. However, you can get rid of this habit, and the tips described below will help with this.

How to forget an unpleasant event?

Thinking about how to forget something forever, you should resort to the following method. You will be required to relive the negative event again, without changing the plot. It is important that you feel emotionally what happened in the past. Think of all the little things you can.

Then imagine that all this happened not to you, but to someone else. What advice would you give this person? Surely you would see the situation from a different angle. Enter the position of the people who participated in it. What emotions are you feeling now? Most likely, you will not be so offended by everything that happened. After that, imagine how the picture fades, and then disappears from your field of vision. You can even mentally drown it in sulfuric acid. She is no more, she disappeared, died, which means you can let go of everything. Understand that the past is dead and will never return. Once you figure this out for yourself, the pain will go away.

How can you forget something terrible?

You can erase a terrible event from your memory by switching your brain to a completely different one. It can be a job, a new hobby, dating. Also, do not be alone, otherwise thoughts about what happened will simply haunt you. It is better to spend some time with friends and relatives. Of course, from time to time memories of a negative event will pop up in your memory, but every day it will hurt you less and less.

Some people are disturbed by nightmares in which they return to that terrible reality and experience it again. In this case, it is necessary to think only about the good before going to bed. For example, thank Higher power for the positive things that have happened over the past day. It could be:

• meeting with an old friend;
• your child's smile or first words;
• a pleasant memory - a cute kitten or puppy, a beautiful butterfly.

Also, before going to bed, you can watch a comedy, a concert of your favorite artist, listen to a new album. It is important that you take your mind off what is oppressing you. As a result, you will go to sleep in high spirits, which means that you will only have pleasant dreams.

How to forget something bad in your life?

Bad events often happen in a person's life, and most often he blames a relative, friend, acquaintance for them. As a result, hatred appears, but it does not allow you to live in peace. It is very important in this case to forgive the person who harmed you and let him go. Meditation will help you with this. Sit in comfortable armchair or lie down on the bed, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths in and out. Once you are completely relaxed, you can begin to meditate. Imagine a place where you will be as comfortable as possible, and call your abuser there. Look into his eyes, look at his features, look at his clothes.

Now tell him what you think of him. You must have accumulated a lot. You can not be shy in expressions. Once you tell your abuser how you feel, you will feel better.

The next step is forgiveness. Take the person by the hand, look into their eyes and say you forgive them. This must be done sincerely. Say the words "I forgive you" so many times until you believe it. After this, the offender can be released: look after him, wish him happiness and surround him with love.

You should feel lightness, it will be a sign that you have let go of the situation. If not, you need to do this exercise every evening. It may take you a month or a week to do this, do not spare the time, as it will become easier for you. As a result, a bad event will not dominate in your mind, the brain will simply forget it.

How to forget a negative event forever?

Forgetting something forever will help the following exercise. For him, you need to find a piece of paper, a saucer, matches and a pen. Sit down at the table and describe a negative event that happened to you. Remember all the details. As soon as you realize that you have nothing more to add, reread what you have written and tear up the paper, imagining how the negative situation is erased from your memory.

Then take a saucer, put scraps of paper in it and set them on fire. Look carefully at the flame, imagine how all your grievances and memories burn in it. Once the paper is completely burned, wash off the ashes with water. Everything, this memory is no more, it has no power over your mind. Remember this and enjoy today without going back to the past.

More tips on consigning memories to oblivion can be found in our article -.

Even with great effort, we cannot always forget certain situations from the past. However, there are several simple ways thanks to which you can get rid of unpleasant memories and start life from scratch.

Our life is divided into three categories - past, present and future. In each of these periods, certain moments happen to us that are impossible to forget. In this article, we will talk about what has already happened to us, and what needs to be left in the past forever in order to start living anew.

Memories of the past are moments that we can no longer forget. It doesn't matter if they are pleasant or not, we will always visualize them in our minds, because they are an inseparable part of ourselves. The past is the basis of our life. Every day we live can bring something pleasant and new into our life or upset us. Unfortunately, we cannot control our destiny and do not know when something important will happen to us. Because of this, unpleasant moments also occur in our lives, which leave behind not only consequences, but also negative memories. Site site experts offer you several ways at once with which you can let go of the past and start new life.

Main Causes of Negative Memories

Living in the past is a thankless task. Sometimes a person involuntarily mentally returns to his former life and tries to realize his mistakes. However, in order to get rid of negative memories, you need to understand the reasons for their occurrence.

Death loved one. It is almost impossible to get rid of this memory, you can only come to terms with it. Death native person is able not only to turn our life upside down, but to divide it into “before” and “after”. For a long time, a person feels lonely, especially if he has lost a person who has always been his main support and support and with whom he has many pleasant memories.

Breakup or betrayal. Betrayal of a loved one is very difficult to survive. Cheating leaves a deep wound on the heart and makes us completely disillusioned with the opposite sex. A breakup is also one of the biggest shocks in our lives. As a rule, such memories fade into the background only with the advent of a new love. However, the fear of being abandoned again never leaves us.

Moving. Longing for former places and old acquaintances - this is faced by people who have changed their place of residence. Over time, we get used to the new city, make new friends, but the memories of the places we are used to never leave us. In this case, you just need to get used to a new life, find your pluses in it. Try to look back as little as possible, otherwise the moments of the past will never leave your consciousness.

Incorrect choice professions. Even in childhood, parents try to prove to us that one profession is much better or easier than another. Having enlisted the support of loved ones, we make a choice and do not even think about the consequences. Many years pass, and we bitterly recall those times when we chose future profession, and we think that now it not only does not bring us the expected income, but also deprives us of joy. Many say that it is never too late to change your life, which means that in order to get rid of negative memories and hated work, you just need to make a decision on your own and finally choose the kind of activity that you like.

Ways to get rid of negative memories

Before learning about ways to get rid of negative memories, tune in a positive way. Do not forget that in addition to unpleasant moments in life, there are many good things. Suffering and complaining is not the way out. In this way, you harm yourself by refusing to let go of the past and start living from scratch.

Analyze your past. Before you get rid of negative memories, you need to understand some moments of your past. At this stage you need:

• Let go of the past. Having experienced a series of failures, a person begins to think that one day they will be repeated in his life, and thus attracts them. Whatever mistakes you have made in the past, you must let go of the memories of them. No need to put up with the fact that troubles will occur in your life, try to present your future in the best light.
• Admit your guilt. Everything that happens in our lives is partly our fault. You should not blame other people for your problems, because no one decides what you should do in a certain situation. To start life anew, you need to admit that your mistakes are your fault. Thus, you can draw conclusions for yourself and avoid difficulties in the future.
• Forget your mistakes. Perhaps once you betrayed a loved one or committed another, no less bad deed. This does not mean that memories of him and a sense of shame should haunt you all your life. At this stage, it is important to understand that you are a person, and it is common for any person to make mistakes. Your task is to avoid doing things in the future that will make you torture yourself.

After analyzing your past, you must draw a conclusion for yourself. If at this stage you got rid of some unpleasant memories and were able to forgive yourself, then you did everything right.

Take a lesson from the past. Everything that happens to us should not disappear without a trace. Even from unpleasant situation can be extracted useful lesson which will help you avoid mistakes in the future. Our past is an invaluable experience, because all the events that took place directly related to us. Your task is to draw from it the main and useful and let it go. However, not many people are able to do this. Many continue to step on the same rake, clinging to a past life and making mistake after mistake.

Release from negative memories. The most milestone on which you must completely get rid of negative memories. For this you will need:

• Choose the right mood. Start every morning with the thought that today will bring you new pleasant memories.
• Psychological reception with water. If negative memories don't leave you, turn on the faucet and imagine them flowing away with the water.
• Get rid of things that are associated with negative memories. If there are things in the house with which you have negative memories, get rid of them. For example, after parting with a loved one, you do not need to keep gifts and joint photos, no matter how dear they are to you. One look at them will pull you into the past, preventing you from moving forward.
• Change the environment. If the environment around you makes you sad and provokes unpleasant memories, make changes to it. In this case, you can do repairs or buy new furniture. If you have long wanted to change your place of residence, then the time has come to take action. Such chores will not only help you distract from negative thoughts, but will also be the first step towards starting a new life.
• Change appearance. To understand your true inner state, you need to look at yourself in the mirror. Most likely, your appearance will even make you feel sorry for yourself. Think about whether your memories are worth such sacrifices? Head to the beauty salon, fitness center and browse the boutiques. Change your appearance so that, looking at your reflection, you feel confident and ready for new victories and achievements.
• Thank and forgive your offenders. Of course, you do not need to make an appointment in person for every offender, but mentally you must forgive them, even if it is not easy. Resentment, hatred, anger, the desire for revenge - all this is an extra burden that prevents you from starting a new life. Get rid of it and you will feel better.
• Master meditation. Meditative practices help to relax and release thoughts from everything unnecessary, including negative memories. With the help of meditation, you will learn to focus your attention only on important and pleasant things, which means that the past itself will go into the background.
• Get rid of bad habits. Bad habits litter a person's life. Minutes that you could spend on something more important and useful, you spend to your detriment. First of all, you need to get rid of alcohol. Alcoholic beverages have a negative effect on nervous system, and during their use, people begin to be overcome by memories of past life and negative thoughts. By getting rid of addictions, you will do a huge service to yourself and your body.

Meditation to get rid of unpleasant thoughts and memories

Meditation - The best way relax and get rid of negative memories. This meditation practice is notable for its simplicity, and it can be performed at any time of the day.

First, choose a quiet place and sit comfortably. It is best to meditate in nature, but if you do not have such an opportunity, you can do it at home, but be sure to retire.

Imagine that you are in beautiful place, a harmonious, peaceful atmosphere reigns around you, and the only thing that prevents you from taking a step forward is the heavy bag that you hold in your hands. In your mind, you must open it and see that there are stones in it. Imagine that each of them is one of your unpleasant memories. Start mentally throwing them out of your life by repeating:

• I let go of my past;
• I myself (a) can control my thoughts;
• I am free from my memories;
• I am ready to part with my memories and start a new life;
• I live in the present;
• I love only myself and my family;
• I can meet a new love;
• I will find

Sooner or later, every person is faced with such events that I would like to just forget about. Fortunately, there are healthy ways help yourself cope with negative memories, ranging from techniques to get rid of bad thoughts to methods for suppressing the anxiety that occurs when bad memories come up.

Steps

Part 1

Avoid contact with those objects and places that cause you unpleasant memories. Have you ever noticed that unpleasant memories come to you when you visit certain places or are near certain objects? You may not even realize that it is they who provoke your thoughts. For example, bad memory may refer to some incident that happened to you in primary school, and it pops up every time you pass by educational institution. But if you choose a new route to work that does not pass by the school you went to, you will be more successful in keeping your mind free from bad thoughts.

• If you manage to completely eliminate the triggers of bad memories, over time the bad event will fade in your memory. You will have less reason to recall past memories, and life will replace them with more important thoughts.
• Of course, not all triggers can be completely eliminated, you may just not want to change your way to work or donate your collection of science fiction books to someone, or stop listening to the songs of your favorite band just because last time you saw the performers live on the exact night your ex told you he was leaving. If avoiding triggers is not possible, either because there are too many of them, or because you are unwilling to let the quirks of the mind have such an effect on you, there are other ways to deal with memories.

1. Think about a bad event until the thoughts dissipate by themselves. This step helps a lot. The first few times you remember something bad, the negative memories can take you by surprise and leave you feeling anxious and empty. You will instinctively try to avoid thinking about the event as much as possible, but suppressing the memory can make it even more powerful when it does come to mind. Instead of chasing bad thoughts from your memory, allow yourself to remember what happened. Think about it until the memories stop hurting you. In the end, you will stop thinking about them in the same volume, and when the memories do arise, they will no longer be painful. If the memories put a lot of pressure on you, go for a long walk or do some intense exercise.

   • Try to take into account the fact that the event that is the root cause of the memories has long passed. Whatever happened to you (whether you were ridiculed to your embarrassment or dangerous situation) is a thing of the past.
   • In some cases, brooding over bad memories can become an obsessive habit. Analyze your own emotions that arise when you have bad memories. If you find that even after thinking about the events for a long time, the memories continue to hurt you, try other methods of getting rid of them.

2. Try the method of changing memories. Every time you remember something, the memories change a little. The brain tries to fill small gaps in memories with fictitious information. You can take advantage of this feature of the brain and replace the bad elements of memories with other information. Eventually, an altered version of the memories will begin to surface in memory.

   • As an example, let's say that you have a childhood memory of riding a speedboat called "Dream" with your father across the lake. Do you remember how father stood in the stern in red shorts and sunglasses how he screamed when you leaned too far over the railing and fell overboard into the water. Are you sure that you know all this, but years later, looking at a photograph of that day, you find that the father was in jeans, and the name of the boat was actually "Kingfisher". As you can see, memories are never completely accurate and can change.
   • Try to change the part of the memory that upsets you. Based above example If you remember your fear and loneliness when you fell into the lake, try redrawing the memory in your mind so that all attention is focused on how amazing it was to be rescued by your father.
   • Each time the memory resurfaces, it will change slightly. If at the same time you always begin to concentrate on good feelings instead of bad ones, the memory will begin to change accordingly. You may not be able to transform it from bad to amazingly good, but in this way you can deprive the memory of its former pain.

3. Focus on happy memories. Sometimes the brain begins to dig into bad memories so deeply that it becomes difficult to get out of it. If you catch yourself thinking too much about the bad, try to learn to switch to the good memories. Don't give bad thoughts time to ruin your mood or make you worry. Instead, when a bad memory pops up again, forcefully switch to a happier memory. keep practicing positive thinking until you are no longer automatically drawn into the quagmire of bad memories.

   • Try to pick up a bad memory good couple. For example, if you can't stop remembering the time you gave your presentation incoherently in front of the class and everyone laughed at you, complement that memory with another memory when you gave a good presentation and deserved praise. Every time you have a bad memory, shift your thoughts to its positive pair. Having a positive memory prepared in advance will save you from having to panic search for something good in your memory when you feel uneasy.

4. Learn to live in the present. The practice of paying more attention to the current moment in time is called present moment awareness. It involves focusing on what is happening here and now, instead of dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Self-awareness is a great way to relieve stress and get more out of life. Instead of wasting time and energy on worrying about what cannot be changed, you can take this burden off your shoulders and just live in the present.

   Part 2

   Creating a positive attitude towards life

   1. Think about what you learned from an unpleasant moment in the past. Even the worst experience has something to teach you. It may take you a long time to understand what you have learned, especially if the event happened recently. But if you look back at it from the present and see how much wiser you have become since then, your bad memory may lose some of its painfulness. Think about whether there is something positive in that event that you did not notice before?

      • Remember that negative experiences are an inevitable part of life. Difficulties make a person stronger and help him to appreciate the pleasant moments more. If it didn't happen bad events, it would simply be impossible to fully enjoy the good moments.
      • Try to count all the things you are grateful for in life. Whatever your loss, expressed as a bad memory, make a list of things for which you are currently grateful for life.

   2. Create new happy memories. Over time, the bad memory will gradually begin to fade in your memory. But this process can be accelerated if you start living life to the fullest and create new good memories that occupy your mind. Do what you enjoy and hang out with people who bring you joy. AT long term the more positive the recent memories are, the less significant past negative thoughts will become against their background.

      • It will be useful to visit those places where you have never been before, so that you have new experience unaffected by your past in any way. Buy yourself a ticket and travel to a new city for yourself, or become a tourist in your own city, visiting places where you usually do not appear.
      • If travel isn't your forte, change up your routine in some other way. Visit a cafe you've never been to, cook some elaborate meal, or invite all your friends over for a dinner party.

   3. Lead a busy lifestyle. Keep your schedule busy and try to stimulate your brain to be productive so you have less time to think about the bad things. If you tend to spend a lot of time on your own, try to start seeing friends or visiting relatives more often. Distract yourself by reading a good book or pick up a new hobby. The more time you spend sitting and doing nothing, the more likely you are to sink into negative memories. Below are a few distractions to keep you occupied.

      Avoid alcohol and drugs. The use of mind-distorting substances can only make things worse, especially if the bad memory makes you depressed and anxious. Alcohol can increase depression, irritability, and anxiety, especially in people who already experience similar symptoms without it. In order to maintain a positive morale, it is better to completely refuse or limit the use of alcohol and drugs.

      Make your health a priority. When you're immersed in your own negative thoughts, it can sometimes be hard to remember to take care of yourself. But taking care of your own health has a lot to do with the way you think. Eating wholesome and nutritious foods, getting enough sleep at night, and exercising several times a week will good foundation in order to keep bad memories out of the way. In addition to meeting the basic needs of the body, take the time to indulge yourself to help relieve symptoms of anxiety associated with your bad memories.

   Part 3

   Overcoming a traumatic experience

   Try to burn the memory. Acknowledge the negative memory and negative emotions associated with it. It may seem like a counterproductive move, but psychocatharsis (the expression of disturbing emotions) is a key ingredient in healing mental wounds. Suppressing bad memories will only cause them to resurface a little later and possibly become more intense. Allow yourself to feel angry, sad, embarrassed, or hurt. If you feel the need to cry or scream, do so. In the end, you will be able to move to the other side of your feelings, which will be easier to come to terms with than when you ignore your own pain.

   • Consider going to a group psychological support. Try to find a local support group that is related to the problem you are experiencing. For example, there are quite a few support groups for divorce, relationship endings, chronic illness, and so on.
   • If you feel uncomfortable sharing your own story with someone else, write it down in your own diary and keep it in a safe place where no one can find the entries.
   • Symptoms of PTSD include vivid flashbacks of a past event, nightmares, and frightening thoughts.
   • The person may feel emotionally drained, depressed, or constantly anxious due to the fact that he always feels like on pins and needles.

   1. Seek specialized medical treatment. If you feel trapped by your own memories of a traumatic event, there are medical treatments that can help you. Usually to achieve best results these techniques are used in conjunction with psychotherapy. Make an appointment with a psychiatrist to discuss whether medical treatment help you get rid of bad memories that negatively affect the quality of your life.

   • Renaming a memory can trick the brain into forgetting it more quickly. For example, instead of calling a memory "bad," call it a "past memory." Mentally repeating the word "bad" will make you feel bad.
   • Don't linger too long in the grief phase. Some period of sadness is quite normal after an upsetting event, but you need to understand when it's time to forget about grief and start living a normal life again.
   • No matter how terrible your memory is, it is in the past. Don't let it affect your present and future, as you can't change the past unless you can travel through time, so leave the past in the past and cheer up!
   • Think joyful. No matter how bad your memories are, focus on the future.