Recommendations for developing your sociability. How to develop your communication skills? Seven practical tips

Sociable people enjoy communication, they have an extensive network of contacts, they do not get lost in difficult situations and easily adapt to new conditions. If the upcoming negotiations turn into waiting for you to suffer, it’s time to work on yourself.

Who is a sociable person? First of all, this is someone who enjoys communication. A sociable person does not care who he communicates with; he is interested in the process itself.

Sociable people are characterized by flexibility in contacts, the ability and ability not to get confused when communicating in different situations, self-confidence, they easily adapt to new conditions, are able to negotiate successfully, and strive for initiative and leadership in a team.

If you feel that you are not a good enough communicator, that you often look for an opportunity to avoid the upcoming conversation, if you want to develop your communication skills, listen to the following tips.

How to develop communication skills

You should not avoid or withdraw from communication

Do you think that you are quite sociable, but prefer to engage in dialogue only if the interlocutor is pleasant to you and you are in a good mood? If you notice an acquaintance walking towards you and prefer to turn off the path to avoid conversation with him; If you see a person you don’t know well in the window of public transport, you prefer to wait for the next bus - all this means that you are not sociable enough.

In order to develop communication skills, try not to avoid random meetings. Communicate with people you don't know well or with people you don't know at all. This way you will develop your sociability skills.

Learn to enjoy communication

This is one of the main rules for acquiring communication skills. We always prepare ourselves for how the planned conversation with this or that person will go. For example, a meeting with an old friend seems uninteresting and very boring to you, because you know that your interlocutor is a typical bore.

An upcoming conversation with your boss always involves some stiffness and nervousness. Before a conversation that seems unpleasant to you, you should tune in for the best: remember that you can always change the situation, change roles with your interlocutor. For example, you don’t really want to listen to your friend’s childhood memories.

Great - don’t listen, start telling the story yourself, take control of the situation. Or turn the conversation to another topic that will be interesting to both of you. Turn the upcoming unpleasant conversation into a pleasant one. Learn to benefit from your conversations with different people, and communication will become a more enjoyable experience for you.

Try to initiate the conversation

Living in a big city, it’s easy to pretend that you don’t see an old friend with whom you are traveling in the same subway car, or to pretend that you don’t recognize him. As a rule, downcast eyes indicate your reluctance to make contact, and this works - they don’t want to communicate with you either. But such an adult game of hide and seek makes you experience much more negative emotions than a conversation with even the most undesirable interlocutor. When you are hiding from your acquaintance, you are in a state of anticipation, fear: “Did he recognize you? Does he/she want to talk?”

In order not to be tormented by such questions and not to wait for people to come up to you and start talking, it is best to start the conversation yourself, act as the initiator of the dialogue; you will feel that it is quite easy. These are the basics of communicative communication.

When interacting with people, do not be overly formal in communicating with them.

If they ask you: “How are you?” or “How are you?” It would be right to talk a little about your life and your affairs. The dryness of your answers and reluctance to engage in conversation are regarded by your interlocutor as disrespect and ill will towards him.

Work on your artistry

The sociability of people characterizes them as representatives of society, who are characterized by a wealth of gestures and intonations. A sociable person, an unrivaled storyteller and imitator. He has a taste for detail, for juicy details, he wants to live a varied life, which is why it is so easy for such a person to transform into different social roles, to easily adapt. These people know how to please.

Kill your pessimistic moods

A mandatory quality of any truly sociable person is optimism. If you strive to become a master of communicative communication, develop sociability, but at the same time you have pessimistic moods, it’s time to ask the question - “How to become an optimist?” Pessimism, as a rule, does not lead to anything good, and certainly does not contribute to the development of sociability. Smile! Everything is fine! People respond much better to a smile than to a sullen face.

Not all people are born with a tendency to develop communication skills. The main teacher of such skills, undoubtedly, is life itself. In the process of acquiring life and professional experience, a person learns to communicate, contact people, and effectively build the necessary connections.

But there are people who do not have sufficient communication skills. Nowadays, you can learn everything, if only you have the desire. Becoming a “master of communications” will help you through specialized literature, participation in professional training on effective communication techniques, and daily training in communicating with others.

Sociability is closely related to a person’s success in work, social contacts, and personal life. We achieve everything solely through the ability to properly maintain a conversation, explain, ask questions and solve current problems. Fear of people can cause many problems: lack of career growth, inability to prove that you are right, and simply have fun in an interesting company. This raises the question: how to become sociable in order to be more successful and attractive to people.

What are the causes of unsociability

Communication problems usually begin in childhood and adolescence. The reasons are very diverse. One of them is getting into an awkward situation that caused laughter from peers. The child's psyche is still unstable; the child perceives criticism and ridicule painfully.

The ability to adapt to circumstances depends on the type of nervous system, as well as on parenting methods. If parents constantly criticize the child, do not allow him to take initiative, laugh at manifestations of creativity or the desire to act, then the child eventually withdraws. He begins to be afraid to express his opinion, defend his point of view, and take initiative. The further you go, the deeper your withdrawal from social contacts will be. It’s good if parents noticed the problem in time and created such conditions so that the child was forced to start communicating with peers.

Teenagers are even more vulnerable than preschoolers and primary schoolchildren. In adolescence, acceptance of a child by a social group becomes important; rejecting him will contribute to the development of isolation and fear of interactions.

Why develop your ability to communicate?

Without the ability to communicate, it is impossible to establish social connections. How to build a career if it is difficult for a person to ask for a favor, insist on his own, promote his project or express his opinion in front of many people? Of course, you can choose a field of activity where social contacts are kept to a minimum, but this ultimately leads to loneliness and a lack of useful connections and friends.

Most of us still have a need for contact with other people. We love to get together in groups, easily and naturally tell each other stories from life, exchange views, and start relationships with the opposite sex. If it is difficult for a person to start a conversation, then he does not participate in the general conversation, and as a result, people simply stop noticing him.

The inability to establish contact often leads to problems with the opposite sex. Who do you think a guy will approach more willingly: a bright and casually talking girl or one who sits quietly in the corner and is afraid to take part in the conversation again. The answer is clear.

People are more willing to respect those who are easy to contact, have many social connections, and talk easily and confidently. Respect is also associated with the ability to achieve one’s own goal and defend one’s point of view, and for this one must be able to speak and give arguments. A quiet, hesitant voice can only cause sympathy or misunderstanding.

How to develop your communication skills?

• Take care of your appearance. People are more willing to communicate with those who look attractive. Sports, yoga, cycling, swimming will help improve your figure. Sports, among other things, increase confidence, and group activities help to be around other people.

Choose your clothing style that highlights your strengths. Don't be afraid to experiment. Avoid faded and nondescript shades, pay attention to green, yellow, blue, red - colors that enhance your mood and your attractiveness.

Changing your hairstyle will help women. Contact a hairdresser who will give you the perfect haircut, tell you how to apply makeup correctly and advise on the right hair color.

• People with a large vocabulary are more interesting conversationalists. Reading books and writing short articles for your personal blog will help you increase your knowledge. Stand in front of the mirror and rehearse your speech. Try several types of smiles, how the facial expression differs, which smile is more attractive.

You can train your voice by singing, reading poetry and texts with different intonations, but attending public speaking courses will give you more effective results. Here you will be taught not only to speak and compose a speech correctly, but also not to be afraid of speaking in public. A more interesting option is a theater studio, where you will be taught how to master not only your voice, but also gestures and facial expressions.

• Dancing will help increase your self-confidence. Just don’t study alone, be sure to sign up for group classes. There is no need to be afraid if you have an imperfect figure or if you don’t know how to dance at all. There are many interesting options, such as belly dancing for beginners, where everyone is on an equal footing.

• Various courses and trainings are an ideal place where you can find friends, like-minded people and just chat. Feel free to engage in conversation and answer questions with a smile.

• Is your voice usually very quiet and people often ask you questions? Practice your voice pitch at home and try speaking a little louder than usual when communicating. Ask the seller for a discount or find out about additional benefits of the selected product. Call the online store support service and ask in detail about the item you are interested in - this will help you learn how to have a conversation and ask the right questions.

• Learn to look people in the eyes. This will not be easy at first. First, look up for 1 second, look at the bridge of your nose. In a conversation, it is sometimes useful to nod your head slightly to indicate that you are listening attentively, as well as to insert short exclamations and phrases that encourage your opponent to speak. Listen to how others communicate, what phrases they use, how their facial expressions, posture and eye movements change.

There is a very interesting section in psychology called NLP. By studying it, you will learn to determine what a person is thinking and going to do, learn to adapt and conduct a conversation.

• One type of communication is inextricably linked with the Internet. This is network communication: forums, social networks, blogs. Become an active user and start your own blog. At first you may be shy about writing comments, but then you will probably become an active user. Communication online provides ample opportunities: you can safely express your point of view, argue, and get to know other people. However, you should not completely switch to online communication; this will lead to a vicious circle, when online you are a bright, interesting and sociable person, but in reality you are still shyly afraid to start a conversation.

• At first, you can come up with a few phrases that you will use in conversation in response to some standard questions. Constantly replenish their stock, write down something new, original, adopt phrases from other people that you find interesting.

• You can find a topic for conversation with almost every person. At first, you can ask some trivial question, then the conversation gradually moves on to general topics, searching for solutions to similar problems. Give advice, ask for advice yourself, show sincere interest in what the person is saying.

• People are more willing to communicate with optimists. A frown, lowered lips, and hunched shoulders repel people. Practice your posture and facial expression in front of the mirror. Fall asleep and wake up with a smile. By the way, it also reduces the level of stress hormones.

• Get a dog. As strange as it may sound, having a pet will help you gain self-confidence. You will have to walk him outside, go to training, communicate with other dog lovers and, possibly, attend exhibitions. You will find people with similar interests, which means common topics of conversation.

• Visit exhibitions, museums, cultural events. Invite someone you know to the inserts or go on your own. Talk to someone to discuss the exposure and get the other person's opinion. In fact, it's not scary at all. Think of everything as a game. Imagine that you are a different person - stronger, more sociable and active. You are loved and respected, other people value you and willingly communicate with you. Remember, like in the movie: “I am the most charming and attractive.” Repeat this to yourself every day.

• In some cases, contacting a psychologist will help, but you will still have to work on yourself. Only you can straighten your shoulders, start a conversation, smile at your interlocutor and nod in response.

• Many of our problems are hidden in the depths of the subconscious. Repeating to ourselves every day that we are not worthy of the best, that we are uninteresting to other people, we convince not only ourselves, but also those around us. Repeat to yourself that you are an adult, a worthy person, incredibly confident, and able to communicate.

• Motivation is one of the main factors that helps you achieve success. If you realize that you have some problems in communication, this is already the first step, then you just have to want to. Desire is a great incentive. If you want to become more sociable, you will definitely achieve this. No motivation? Then you will have to find the reasons why you want to develop communication skills, choose the most important ones and make daily efforts to move towards your goal. Practice constantly: in transport, on the Internet, at work, in a store - look for any reason to start a conversation.

In fact, most people don't care at all what you say or how you say it. Everyone is busy with themselves, so they may not even notice the small mistakes that someone makes. Live, enjoy life, ride public transport, smiling at other passengers, offer to help an old lady, play with someone else’s child, find a job that requires the constant presence of other people and communication with them. Only you and no one else conquer yourself by destroying your fears and setting out on the path of incredible opportunities that social contacts provide us with.

According to one of the classics of world literature of the 20th century, human communication is a true luxury. In the process of communication, a person not only exchanges information, but also gets the opportunity to realize his qualities. In modern society, there are many professions that require good communication skills. Can you imagine an introverted journalist, teacher, celebrant, PR or HR manager? In most cases, closed and uncommunicative people are treated, if not with caution, then without obvious sympathy.

Do you prefer to communicate only with those who are pleasant to you? Looking for solitude when you're in a bad mood? When you accidentally bump into someone you know, do you often pretend that you didn’t notice him? Affirmative answers to the questions posed indicate a low level of sociability. Due to this tip #1: don’t shy away from communication! Communicate a lot, make contact with everyone without exception, talk whenever possible.

It is human nature to make predictions about upcoming events, including meetings with other people. For example, a dialogue with your boss promises a certain tension and constraint. A meeting with a classmate seems of little interest, since you remember him as a nerdy nerd. Realize that you are also a full participant in communication. Therefore, you can seize the initiative and set the tone for your meeting. Talk about what is useful and interesting to you. Learn something new, benefit from every conversation, and then every meeting will turn out to be an exciting event for you. Tip #2 would look like this: be an active participant in the communication process!

Living in a big city, it’s not difficult to get lost in the crowd, avoiding unwanted communication. A downcast or averted gaze, closed gestures and posture clearly signal to others that you do not want to make contact. However, such “adult hide and seek” is associated with negative emotions that are much more obvious than a pointless dialogue with an unpleasant acquaintance. So as not to get lost in guesswork: “I noticed - I didn’t notice, I found out - I didn’t recognize, are you in the mood for a conversation?” start the conversation yourself. You will see that there is nothing terrible about this. So, Tip #3: Start the conversation yourself more often.

Answering the standard “how are you?” and “how are you?” Don't be too formal. Dry and unemotional responses are regarded by interlocutors in most cases as isolation, hostility and reluctance to communicate. Tip #4: Don't be afraid to show your emotions! Nobody is interested in talking to a robot, right?

The golden rule of any conversation is respect. Where there is no respect, there is no place for trust. Fifth tip - respect the opinion of your interlocutor, no matter how much it differs from yours. Respect for your opponent's opinion does not oblige you to agree with him. Just listen to him carefully, don't interrupt. After that, note those points with which you share, and then you can express disagreement. At the same time, you cannot argue, tell your opponent that he is wrong, is not competent, or has not understood the essence of the matter. This will only offend him, which will worsen communication. Try, on the contrary, to agree, at least formally. Say something like “let's say I agree with you,” or “let's say you're right.” The goal of any dialogue is to find “common ground” and not to prove one’s own superiority.

Those who intend to develop their communication skills should remember that sociability is not only expressed verbally. Posture, gestures and facial expression also indicate willingness or unwillingness to communicate. Tip #6: Make sure your face and body movements convey friendliness and openness.. Even if at first you have to make an effort on yourself, over time the desired state will become natural for you.

Do you know what the main secret of communication skills is? In pleasure! A sociable person does not prioritize the personality of the interlocutor; he is interested in the communication process itself! Tip seven: learn to enjoy the communication process, and you will see how many positive, smart, interesting and wonderful people around you are eager to communicate with you!

Who it sociable person? First of all, this is someone who enjoys communication. A sociable person does not care who he communicates with; he is interested in the process itself. Sociable people are characterized by flexibility in contacts, the ability and ability not to get confused when communicating in different situations, self confidence, they easily adapt to new conditions, know how to successfully negotiate, and strive for initiative and leadership in a team.

If you feel that you are not a good enough communicator, that you often look for an opportunity to avoid an upcoming conversation, if you want to develop communication skills , listen to the following tips.

How to develop communication skills

You should not avoid or withdraw from communication

Do you think that you are quite sociable, but prefer to engage in dialogue only if the interlocutor is pleasant to you and you are in a good mood? If you notice an acquaintance walking towards you and prefer to turn off the path to avoid conversation with him; If you see a person you don’t know well in a public transport window, you prefer to wait for the next bus - all this means that you are not sociable enough. In order to develop communication skills, try not to avoid random meetings. Communicate with people you don't know well or with people you don't know at all. This way you will develop your sociability skills.

Learn to enjoy communication

This is one of the main rules for acquiring communication skills. We always prepare ourselves for how the planned conversation with this or that person will go. For example, a meeting with an old friend seems uninteresting and very boring to you, because you know that your interlocutor is a typical bore. An upcoming conversation with your boss always involves some stiffness and nervousness. Before a conversation that seems unpleasant to you, you should tune in for the best: remember that you can always change the situation, change roles with your interlocutor. For example, you don’t really want to listen to your friend’s childhood memories. Great - don’t listen, start telling the story yourself, take control of the situation. Or turn the conversation to another topic that will be interesting to both of you. Turn the upcoming unpleasant conversation in pleasant. Learn to benefit from your conversations with different people, and communication will become a more enjoyable experience for you.

Try to initiate the conversation

Living in a big city, it’s easy to pretend that you don’t see an old friend with whom you are traveling in the same subway car, or to pretend that you don’t recognize him. As a rule, downcast eyes indicate your reluctance to make contact, and this works - they don’t want to communicate with you either. But such an adult game of hide and seek makes you experience much more negative emotions than a conversation with even the most undesirable interlocutor. When you are hiding from your acquaintance, you are in a state of anticipation, fear: “Did he recognize you? Does he/she want to talk?” In order not to be tormented by such questions and not to wait for people to come up to you and start talking, it is best to start the conversation yourself, act as the initiator of the dialogue; you will feel that it is quite easy. This basics of communication.

When interacting with people, do not be overly formal in communicating with them.

If they ask you: “How are you?” or “How are you?” It would be right to talk a little about your life and your affairs. The dryness of your answers and reluctance to engage in conversation are regarded by your interlocutor as disrespect and ill will towards him.

Work on your artistry

The sociability of people characterizes them as representatives of society, who are characterized by a wealth of gestures and intonations. A sociable person, an unrivaled storyteller and imitator. He has a taste for detail, for juicy details, he wants to live a varied life, which is why it is so easy for such a person to transform into different social roles, to easily adapt. These people know how to please.

Kill your pessimistic moods

A mandatory quality of any truly sociable person is optimism. If you strive to become a master of communicative communication, develop sociability, but at the same time you have pessimistic moods, it’s time to ask the question - “ How to become an optimist? Pessimism, as a rule, does not lead to anything good, and certainly does not contribute to the development of sociability. Smile! Everything is fine! People respond much better to a smile than to a sullen face.

Not all people are born with a tendency to develop communication skills. The main teacher of such skills, undoubtedly, is life itself. In the process of acquiring life and professional experience, a person learns to communicate, contact people, and effectively build the necessary connections. But there are people who do not have sufficient knowledge communication skills. Nowadays, you can learn everything, if only you have the desire. Becoming a “master of communications” will help you through specialized literature, participation in professional training on effective communication techniques, and daily training in communicating with others.

Do you want to check your level of communication skills - Communication test

P.S. If you consider yourself shy person, you just need to read this article - “ How to overcome shyness«.

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We have all had to watch how one of the company members attracts all the attention of those gathered to his person. There are always groups of interlocutors around him, maintaining a conversation with interest. What attracts people to him? Most likely, this is the development of his communication skills, which have reached a high level. Sociability refers to the ease of establishing friendly and business relationships with people. This quality includes skillfully conducting a conversation with any person, regardless of his position and age.

Types of people's sociability

Conventionally, all people can be divided into groups depending on the way they use their communicative potential:

• dominant type - it’s hard not to recognize him, after a five-minute conversation with him, it seems that there is too much of him, he is too cruel and assertive.
• The mobile type easily joins in any conversation and just as easily loses interest in it. He is distinguished by high sociability, fast speech and rich facial expressions.
• rigid type - it is difficult to make new acquaintances, has difficulty starting a conversation, but after successfully passing this stage, he may well become a pleasant interlocutor.
• The introverted type is the opposite of the dominant type. Modest, silent, it is difficult to bring him into a frank conversation.

To determine your level of sociability, answer the questions: how do you feel about making new acquaintances, speaking in public, and upcoming meetings with old acquaintances. If you prefer to remain silent rather than express your point of view, then you are not very sociable and may face problems at work or in your personal life.

Communication problems are solvable. If with each new acquaintance or - you need psychotherapeutic help, if the disorder is mild in nature - you can cope with it yourself through training.

How to improve communication skills?

First, say yes to communication. Chat for your own pleasure with neighbors, co-workers, acquaintances and strangers. Secondly, learn to see the positive sides of any conversation, try to glean new knowledge or someone else’s experience from it. Use special training and exercises to develop your level of sociability.

Psychologists offer various exercises for communication skills. The purpose of these classes is to develop intuition in communication, improve communication culture, create an attitude of mutual understanding, develop initial contact skills and much more. Exercises can be collective or individual. Individual exercises include making speeches in front of a mirror, reading the same texts with different intonation colors, and others. Collective exercises are various trainings conducted in a group. For example, the training “Give a name to the situation” - participants differentiate the situation played out by the presenter, describe it and outline non-standard solutions.