Vulgar funny phrases. Vulgar phrases and expressions that you can write to your husband or beloved boyfriend

The collection includes funny and slightly vulgar quotes, so to speak with a hint, but only within the bounds of decency, and the collection also includes statements famous people about vulgarity for understanding what is obscenity and vulgarity:

• Those who save on birth control will go broke on diapers
• Women from magazine covers are not for fighters against vulgarity: give us non-standard. Alexander Chernitsky
• Excessive simplicity in handling smacks of vulgarity. Baltasar Gracian
• You always notice something vulgar in clever people. Robert Walser

• In Thailand, a holiday romance ended in strong male friendship.
• Old man Hottabych hit his finger with a hammer and immediately caused a prostitute.
• Girls who think that changing guys is like gloves, relax, you just go from hand to hand!
• Triumphant vulgarity. - the expression has become popular. Dmitry Merezhkovsky, “Pushkin”
• A man gets into a taxi and tells the taxi driver to touch it, the taxi driver blushed and touched it.
• Dima is worried once, - Roma is worried twice, - Kostya is worried three times - Katya is going for an ultrasound!
• The guys ordered sushi for the sauna so that the girls could eat fish too.
• If we make scenes for each other, then only from erotic films...
• Vulgar people joke below the belt, gentlemen joke above the knee. Ashot Nadanyan
• 
  There are vulgar insects: Bugs; there are vulgar plants: Geranium and Ficus; there are vulgar animals: Pigs; there are vulgar people: Octobrists. Sasha Cherny, “A Look and Something”
• Vulgarity, profanation of the high, especially sticks to what concerns gender - the sphere where the spiritual and physiological are nearby, so that the spiritual is too vulnerable to the unspiritual. Alexander Kruglov
• A man's life is like a record - it revolves around a hole.
• The vulgarity of an educated person has no equal. John Ruskin
• Love that wants to be only spiritual becomes a shadow; if it is devoid of spirituality, then it is vulgarity. Henryk Sienkiewicz
• Vulgarity is something that has become common among the people. A.S. Pushkin
• Without excluding depravity and cruelty, culture excludes vulgarity. Vladimir Mikushevich
• Vulgarity is not what, but how. Gennady Malkin
• 
  Oh vulgarity, you are not meanness, you are only the comfort of the mind. Bella Akhmadullina
• Vulgarity is the glue that cements people. Those who have little of it fall away. Arthur Schopenhauer
• You can get such a bouquet from this bride...
• Vulgarity is the payment for development, for the discovery of depths inaccessible to the average person, for the riches of the spirit that do not fit into his head. Grigory Pomerantz
• The guy, walking the girl to the apartment, understood how the date would end from the signs in the entrance.
• Mediocrity always considers itself extraordinary, and therefore it proclaims and asserts its right to vulgarity, or affirms vulgarity as a right. Terry Goodkind, The Wizard's Sixth Rule
• After two glasses of wine in a fish restaurant, she suddenly realized that she wanted to eat more than just fish...
• After Elena Berkova’s confession, the priest lit a cigarette.
• The girl went to the sea, but she didn’t rest herself and didn’t give it to others...

• Constant denunciation of vulgarity eventually also becomes vulgarity. Anton Chekhov
• A very cultured guy wrote at his ex’s entrance: “Lena is fickle”
• Vulgarity is militant conformism, self-affirming, self-satisfied narrow-mindedness, imagining itself to be common sense. Alexander Kruglov
• She was such a faithful wife that she didn’t even give it to her husband.
• Vulgarity is not just “rudeness, bad taste, banality, vulgarity,” but all this, but trying to pretend to be beauty, grace, originality, sublimity. Igor Efimov
• Hatred of vulgarity is also vulgarity; you cannot hate the disadvantaged. You don’t just have to be vulgar yourself, but hatred of vulgarity fuels vanity and self-respect for many people. Naum Korzhavin
• Vulgarity is the shadow of stupidity. Gennady Matyushov

Aristocratism is the same vulgarity, only more fastidious and artificial.

"William Gaslitt"

Avoid vulgarity, it is a mold of the mind. We must fight it tirelessly, or it will poison everything we do.

Constant denunciation of vulgarity eventually also becomes vulgarity.

"Anton Chekhov"

Vulgarity is the glue that cements people. Those who have little of it fall away.

"Arthur Schopenhauer"

Beauty is nurtured in wisdom, and pettiness and vanity breed in vulgarity.

"Valentin Petrovich Rychkov"

One vulgarity replaces another, evil is defeated only by even greater evil, and there is no reason to believe that it will ever turn out differently.

"Dmitry Bykov"

Sprinkling vulgarities is a great evil. You are not aware of this at all.

"Johann Wolfgang Goethe"

Mediocrity always considers itself extraordinary, and therefore it proclaims and asserts its right to vulgarity, or affirms vulgarity as a right.

"Terry Goodkind"

Vulgarity is when you talk about the obvious with pathos.

Vulgarity, profanation of the high, especially sticks to what concerns gender - a sphere where the spiritual and physiological are close together, so that the spiritual is too vulnerable to the unspiritual.

"Alexander Kruglov"

A good housewife even does housework at night. Male...

Girls who think that changing guys is like gloves, relax, you just go from hand to hand!

A normal woman is always happy to rely on a normal man...

After Elena Berkova’s confession, the priest lit a cigarette.

I'm not against vulgarity, but they don't insert any jokes related to vulgarity. They think that showing or hinting at genitals is considered a joke. Apparently, someone has genitals instead of a head!

A girl, before she allows herself to be fucked, will thoroughly rape the guy’s brain.

You can get such a bouquet from this bride...

Often men prefer an ugly woman to a beautiful one, thinking that the beautiful one has more men than the ugly one. But since almost all men think this way, the ugly one ends up with more men than the beautiful one. And then men don’t even know what to think!

Bad head, gives no rest to cowards!

"Nikolai Fomenko"

Talent turns vulgarity into art, and mediocrity turns art into vulgarity.

The appearance of vulgarity is often useful in life: it weakens strings that are too highly tuned, sobers up self-confident or self-forgetful feelings, reminding them of its close kinship with them.

"Ivan Sergeevich Turgenev"

There are vulgar insects: Bugs; there are vulgar plants: Geranium and Ficus; there are vulgar animals: Pigs; There are vulgar people: Octobrists.

After two glasses of wine in a fish restaurant, she suddenly realized that she wanted to eat more than just fish...

Something always comes between the friendship of a man and a woman...

Why is it so nice to fuck without a rubber band? Because you risk twice and full program: to give life and to be infected by death.

Girls grow up when they start wearing bras. Boys grow up when they start taking them off.

Conception, membership fee to maternity capital.

Vulgarity, like logic, cannot be denied without falling into it. Both can only be ignored.

"Joseph Levin"

For women, a vibrator is a thing in itself.

Strippers have the least wear and tear on their work clothes.

Aren't you jealous? Stop this nonsense! This is vulgar, I can’t stand it.

There is not a single man in the world who can be content with only the soul of a woman for a long time.

"George Sand"

The guy, walking the girl to the apartment, understood how the date would end from the signs in the entrance.

Everything we say to each other- turns into feelings that lead to further relationships, which in turn turn into knowing each other on a deeper level, which marks procreation.

It’s not very difficult if you want to awaken the desire. It is?

Read - words and phrases filled with letter magic that excite men:

A man is ignited by his own name

When a woman begins to whisper it..., - with love. It is better to use the diminutive declension of the name.

Such words - adjectives as:

• "desired",
• "the only one",
• "affectionate"
• "chic".

Call him beloved. Do it unusually, melodiously, passionately, not forgetting about tenderness.

Repeat: “more, more...”. If only you knew how exciting such repetition is! The man is pleasantly shocked by these words. Do not forget to leave maximum sincerity in these words.

Any words will sound exciting if you catch them right moment, if you choose the right environment.

Now - more about this.

Places to speak

In addition to standard places filled with romanticism, those places that have a lot of extremes really excite a man. In a car, in an elevator, in a hallway, in a toilet, in a hotel, outdoors, in a restaurant. And that's not all the places! Shower room, bathroom, swimming pool – these are no less extreme places.

Choose a moment when a man’s eyes will sparkle and shine, when you feel that he is ready to give his whole life for you. This is where he came in! What a hit! You can act without missing a beat.

Say these compliments to awaken a man

This really turns a man on

Words and phrases that are accompanied by “rapid” breathing and sighs. If there are slight moans, the man generally goes crazy from his inflammation! Try to regulate this somehow, but make sure that everything is as natural as possible. If a woman is pretending, a man will feel it!

What can ruin everything:

• Conversation in bed

Try not to talk about something abstract, even though it may seem important to you. Here silence is more “on topic”!

You speak, whisper something to him, and then... Some noise! It’s not clear where it’s coming from, but it’s unbearably annoying. Try to predict this by eliminating it in advance.

• Physiological "call"

He felt the urge, at the wrong time, to go to the toilet. You would suffer for him. But the man will not tolerate it. Naturally, you will then lose the desire to say anything to him when he returns.

• Phone ring

Turn off your cell phones so they don't become an unpleasant surprise. Let them rest while you enjoy each other.

• Doorbell

It’s better not to turn it off, because anything can happen. But you choose the time when someone’s visit is the minimum chance. Force majeure events are not taken into account. What if someone stumbles into the wrong door (drunk, or by mistake).

• Alarm

• Clothes with "intricacies"

While he is undressing you, he will get tired, confused, and freak out. Choose erotic clothes, but “understandable” ones for your man. Otherwise it will be torn by your loved one. Torn by passion! Has it turned you on yet?

• Remote controller

Clean the room so that you don’t stumble upon anything when he kisses you and you whisper the most tender words in response. Otherwise you turn on the TV accidentally. You don't need him. He is the third!

• Sports programs

Make the man forget about everything! Even about your favorite football, hockey, basketball. Your words are more important. And don’t think about the stereotype that sports are more valuable to a man than anything else.

• Pets

Close the door to the room you are in. Otherwise your favorite cat will come running to you, jump between you and you will be scared and forget all the words. There is no need to waste the romance of the moment so ridiculously!

Words from women about words for men:

If he loves you, he will stand up for you!

Kira: “If he loves, he will be aroused by any word spoken while looking into a man’s eyes. Personally, I have already checked this, because I was also worried about this question.”

Password

Olga: “One word “I want” is enough! There is no need to say anything more. Of course, you can say something else if you want. But the word “want” is the most powerful word.”

My beloved “blazes” when touched

Ekaterina: “My man is not attracted to words at all. He responds more to touch than to “verbal language.” I'm happy about that too! As soon as you touch it, it flies away.”

It could be simpler

Caroline: “Men are turned on by banalities and vulgarities. I use this often. It’s wrong that I approach everything so without originality. But, it seems to me, a man doesn’t care what methods women use to excite him. The main thing is the result!”

Svetlana: “All words excite a man if he loves. If not, no matter how you try, nothing will work. Everything is simple. Need love. She constantly “settles” everything without words. But not everyone appreciates love, because they put the “contact” itself in first place. Men especially. For example, I value declarations of love much more than confessions that my beloved wants me. My friends too. Maybe we, being so non-standard, should move to another planet? Although it’s not a fact that there will be complete order with all this!”

How can you affectionately call a guy? -

While flirting with a man, you can say vulgar phrases, choosing the right moment so that the guy understands that the woman wants intimacy with him, but this should be done unobtrusively. Not every man likes outright vulgarity, so you need to speak veiledly and beautifully. In order not to make a mistake with the choice of erotic expressions, you need to focus on the interests of young man, his fantasies and desires.

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What to say to a man to hint at sex?

Being in public place with her beloved boyfriend or husband, a girl can communicate her desire for intimacy with the following statements:

• “If we were now alone with you, and everyone around us disappeared, then I would pounce on you and tear off your shirt, sit on top of you and we would have mind-blowing sex.”
• “Your tight jeans make me think of all sorts of vulgar things, but you know that I’m a decent girl...”
• “I get turned on half a turn when you look at me so intently and hug me around the waist. I want your hand to be below my navel.”
• “I forgot to wear underwear today and there are no panties under this long skirt. Do you want to check that?”
• “I’m so excited now! I’m sitting and mentally undressing you with my eyes. Let’s make my fantasies come true?”
• "Your cologne is driving me crazy and I'm getting drunk, losing control of myself..."
• “I want... but guess what or who, guess for yourself. Hint: this person is now sitting opposite me and looking at me.”
• “I look so decent and shy, but in my heart I’m a little minx who wants affection and more lubrication.”
• “Darling, do you want me today to be your car, which you will sit in, start, pick up a special key, and we will move off and rush through the city at night at crazy speed?”

In your own words, you can hint to a man about intimacy in the evening or at night:

• "You are my sex god! I want you to show off your magical abilities in practice and took me to the land of pleasures and debauchery."
• “I would like to listen to music now, or rather, the creaking of our bed...”
• “Does your mosquito want to look under my bright flashlight today?”
• “Today I heard a voice in my head that ordered me to give myself to you this night without a trace.”
• “My hole misses your animal. When will he enter it and disappear in the depths of passion?”
• “I want to awaken your primal instincts this night.”
• “Even the bed turned red from my intimate desires.”
• "Stroke my hair, and then go down to your lips, which are located below the navel, and give them a voluptuous kiss."
• "Forget all your problems and think about your club and my pepper."

Men go crazy when girls say their name in a languid voice, bite their lower lip and stroke their hair.

List of vulgar phrases and expressions for a husband or boyfriend

Examples of vulgar phrases that can hook a friend:

• "I want to be your Kama Sutra teacher. Are you willing to give me some practical lessons?"
• “I want to play with you, but only in games for adults.”
• “I want to invite you to the dark forest to have heavenly pleasure there!”
• “Can you imagine, today I got caught in the pouring rain! And in order not to get sick, I urgently need to sweat under the blanket. But it’s boring alone in the crib, will you keep me company, let’s sweat together?”
• “Today in my dream I worked like a bee and sat on a pestle. Do you think it was a prophetic dream?”
• “I don’t want magic and fairy tales, but I want your intimate caresses.”
• “Attack your baby like a hungry cat attacks a defenseless mouse.”
• Now I’m trembling all over and my body is full of goosebumps, but not from the cold, but from excitement and the desire to feel you inside me.”
• “I went to church to confess, but now I want to indulge in sin and have carnal pleasures with you.”
• “I want to raise your potential in life.”
• “I hope that just thinking about me fills your senses with life.”