I started to look for a way out. How to get out of any difficult situation profitably
How often, when we find ourselves in a difficult situation that requires a strong-willed decision or the elimination of problems, we begin to think that this is what it is - a hopeless situation. Once you believe that there is no way out of your situation, you allow pessimism and self-pity to take over, and you find yourself in vicious circle own and . I propose an alternative approach - to believe that there is always a way out, and more than one, you just need to make an effort to see it. The bulk of these efforts will be aimed at maintaining a positive attitude and maintaining faith in a successful resolution of the situation.
So, hopeless situations it doesn’t happen - that’s a fact. What then happens - what do we accept as “no-win conditions”?
- The need to make a decision. It's complicated, scary and requires taking responsibility for the choice made and its consequences. If the choice is wrong, there will be no one to blame but ourselves, so our consciousness closes in and pretends that there is no way out, and we, in turn, play along with it. Convincing yourself that nothing depends on you - approach weak person. Take courage and remind yourself that control is always in your hands - yes, you can make a mistake, but this is your decision, independent and balanced, and, therefore, you are an adult and responsible person.
What to do:
- – mistakes are your personal, invaluable experience, which you can always use for the benefit of your development.
- Take advantage of our tips and take control of your life. own hands, don't be a victim.
- Fear of change can paralyze even a person who is smart and developed in all respects. This is human nature - it is more comfortable for him to exist in conditions of certainty, but everything the unknown is scary and has a much lower level of comfort. Refusing to do something out of fear that your life will change is not stupid, but it is terribly ineffective. Change is always for the better - repeat this to yourself day and night until you believe it, and then you will discover that you mistakenly thought your situation was hopeless.
What to do:
- Change it to something constructive, and your life will pick up a new pace of development, just like you.
- Read - these brave souls changed not only themselves and their lives, but also the world in which we live. Isn’t this an incentive to joyfully plunge into the coming changes?
- Convenience of a “home place”. A person can adapt to any conditions, even the most destructive and uncomfortable ones. Being in a dysfunctional marriage or working in a job where you are humiliated and unappreciated, and justifying it by saying that there is no other way out, means indulge one's complexes and low self-esteem. If self-esteem is very low, a person may even remain in a relationship where violence is used against him - because it is convenient, convenient from his point of view. Trying to change the situation and move away from the role that you are used to playing is difficult, but necessary.
What to do:
- Work with - without this work, any attempts to move forward will be short-lived and will entail a return to previous circumstances.
- To understand and accept that you deserve more and better - for this you need.
- Some people try to pass off banal laziness as a hopeless situation. If a person does not want to make any efforts to find a solution, he directs them to looking for excuses. Excuses invented for others are gradually accepted on faith and consciousness, and now the person is sincerely convinced that in his circumstances there is no way out. But you just need to want to change your life and direct your efforts in the right direction.
What to do:
- Learn - no one will do it for you.
- Work towards a promotion - just work, not try or try.
- The pleasure of complaining. It is typical for many people to complain about their bitter fate, evil people around them and unfortunate circumstances instead of doing something do. The goal is to get confirmation from others that you are right - “there is no way out, I’m unhappy, I didn’t have a chance, considering the kind of childhood I had...”.
What to do:
- Stop whining!
- Find out why and how to channel your energy from complaints into real action.
- Reverence for standards. “It’s customary” is the worst excuse for inaction. By whom it is accepted, why and why this should be reflected in your life, it does not matter at all if you decide to justify your “hopeless” situation with someone else’s opinion, traditions and established practices. In this world, neither those around you, nor the rulers of states, nor anyone else don't define you, only you! You yourself determine where the limit of your capabilities is, so call them limitless, limitless, instead of hiding behind the notorious “this is how it is done.”
What to do:
- , even though it’s new and scary, you need it.
- Use technology to release energy and direct it to creation.
Of course, first of all, I write these tips to remind myself that there are no hopeless situations, but I also want to convey this to you. They really don’t exist; there are difficult ones, which are points of our growth if we choose the path of development rather than stagnation.
Instructions
Many psychologists argue that without detailed analysis difficult situation it is impossible to find a way out of it. Therefore, first of all, you need to formulate the essence of the problem. However, you should not start such an analysis by looking for who is to blame for your misfortune, since this will be a waste of energy that you will need to find the most pleasant solutions. So sit down quietly, take a pen and a piece of paper and describe the current situation, taking as much time as possible more small parts.
After that, try to think through everything possible options further developments of events. So, for example, you can write what will happen if you do or say one way or another, or if you do nothing at all. Next, describe in detail all the consequences arising from potential decisions. At the same time, it is worth noting only possible options for achieving positive results. Also describe the most terrible consequences that you can think of.
Your loved ones can also help you solve problems, so if you want, turn to them for advice. If you don’t want to burden them with your troubles, you can use the Internet and ask for help getting out of this situation on the forum or. Perhaps this is what will push you to right decisions. In addition, do not forget that humanity has managed to find ways to solve many problems, and it would be nice if you took advantage of the experience of those who managed to find a way out of similar situations. So try to study as much as possible more information on this topic.
Next, you need to choose the most successful one from all the options for getting out of the situation. However, do not become fixated on the problem and do not go headlong into it. Try to relax and give yourself time to organize your feelings and thoughts. For example, long stays on fresh air, practicing your favorite hobby, yoga or sports. You can also listen to your favorite music or watch movies. Great for helping you relax and water treatments, so you can treat yourself to a bath with aroma oils.
It is easier to deal with a problem when she is alone and there is time to solve it. But if difficulties rain down on your head in a continuous series one after another, and there is no opportunity to shift at least some of them onto someone else’s shoulders, then you have to act differently.
Instructions
Don't escalate the situation. The internal reassurance “I can solve everything, but I need time for this” is much better than the attitude “nothing works, I can’t grab onto everything.” Therefore, a lot depends on how you perceive the situation and treat it. If you can’t think positively, then at least have a sober and realistic view.
Divide the problems. No matter how difficult the situation may be, there are always important and urgent issues. The main thing is to correctly determine the location of each difficulty and act accordingly. After all, if you are distracted by the urgent, then the important will suffer. And how it happens (one way or not) depends on the person setting priorities.
Analyze the situation. Instead of internally rushing from side to side, sit down and write answers to the following questions:
What is the essence of the problem and what contributed to its occurrence?
- What's the worst thing it can turn out to be?
- What can be done in such a situation?
- How to prevent it by choosing alternative paths solutions?
By answering these questions clearly, calmly and without emotion, you will understand in which direction to move next.
Get advice. This is especially important when the situation concerns not only you. Keep in mind that people related to it have the right to participate in the discussion of the issue along with you. But even if you have difficulties directly, then an outside perspective will not be superfluous - perhaps you will hear a solution that you could not come to on your own due to excessive worries.
Date: 2015-05-13
Hello site readers.
In this article we will examine a serious topic: . Personally, I believe that not every person finds himself in such a situation in his life. difficult situation. And yet most people have found themselves in such a trap at least once in their lives. And what to do when you don’t know what to do, where and how to look for a way out. You will learn about this here in this article.
First, I want to tell you what you should not do when you find yourself in a dead end. Unfortunately, many people start using alcohol or drugs when they think that they are writing: "Missing". I don’t know why they do this, but people definitely won’t find a way out in a bottle or syringe. On the contrary, the situation will become even worse, as narcotic drugs obscure the ability to think soberly and assess the situation. And if you find yourself in a dead end situation, the worst thing you can do is start drinking alcohol or using drugs. Don't you dare behave like this.
Some people start whining. There is even a parable on this topic:
“Two friends were walking through the forest and found a cave. They decided to go there out of curiosity. They were so carried away by walking through the dark cave that they did not notice how they got lost in it. Realizing this, one of the friends began to shout:
- We will die, no one will find us.
A day passed, and he kept exclaiming about his impending death. And later his friend told him:
“Maybe we should look for a way out?”
And similar things happen in other people's lives. When something happens, they start whining instead of looking for a way out. There is a way out even in a hopeless situation, you just need to look for it. That's why, important rule- keep calm. The answer may come to you in a few days, weeks or even months. This has happened many times in my life, and I have become convinced that calmness is strength.
Now for some practice. , You still have to take a piece of paper and start drawing up a divergent map to get out of the impasse. A divergent card means several ways to solve a problem. For example, you were fired from your job. For some people, this is already a dead end. But the way out still lies on the surface. After all, you can post your resume on the Internet, buy newspapers and start searching on your own vacancies, attend interviews, ask friends and acquaintances about job opportunities, learn a new profession, or even create your own business.
That is, your task is not to be like the person who sat and shouted that the end had come for them, but to become the person who will look for a way out of the cave. The solution is not always found immediately. Still, you will have to be patient. And this is exactly what I wish you to buy. I myself have looked for ways out of difficult situations many times and realized that patience is a powerful force. It is this strength that will help you not to merge in your attempts.
Sometimes, in order for a problem to be solved, you need to let go of the situation. This means not dwelling on what happened. For example, if you are not looking for a new job, then you can temporarily abandon the search and take care of yourself. This does not mean at all that now you should wait for manna from heaven. Are you still looking new job, but without fanaticism and any expectations. And I'm sure that when man walking to do anything without stress, everything works out for him.
In a difficult situation, a friend can help you find a way out. Most people (sometimes me) rely too much on themselves. They move away from outside help, instead of accepting it. This is their big misconception. Ego and pride prevent a person from even thinking a little about asking for help. It would be better for me to decide everything myself and be a hero than for someone to help me, after which I will feel pathetic and insignificant. Hence the task for you, think about those people who will help you. Don't be afraid to ask them for help.
All dead ends are only in your head. Learn to look at the situation from the outside, thereby moving away from it. You know how to give advice to other people, right? Now give yourself some advice. Start having a dialogue with yourself. That is, ask yourself a question and then try to answer it. You will definitely receive an answer, but whether you accept it or not is up to you.
I definitely recommend that you support yourself morally. Your mind should be calm. And the following statement will help you with this: “Everything will be wonderful!”. Whenever you are nervous because you feel trapped, repeat this phrase. She . The second thought that should be spinning in your head sounds like this: “Everything that is not done, everything is done for the better”. You have heard this phrase hundreds and hundreds of times. And now you need to repeat it hundreds and hundreds of times.
If you are faced with difficult events and situations that seem to have no visible way out, do not despair or worry. There are no deadlocks. Or, in other words, there is always a way out of every situation, even at first glance a dead end.
The first signal that the situation is reaching a dead end is internal psychological discomfort. If you already long time If you are experiencing internal experiences, then it’s time to stop and think carefully.
To understand the current impasse and find a way out, ask yourself the following questions:
- What could be the real reason for my violation? psychological state ? The real reason problems are not always on the surface. Sometimes, in order to really get to the bottom of the truth, you need a break and time to think about the situation. Also, the cause of a deadlock situation may be other participants, whose role also needs to be considered. Try to analyze your attitude towards each participant and their attitude towards you. Which one is playing key role? Try to answer yourself as honestly as possible.
- What emotions do you feel about the events taking place and the participants in the situation? Can you control your emotional reaction to events? Be clear about what emotions you are experiencing: anger, resentment, disappointment, disgust, despair, or some other emotion. Your attitude to current events, as well as your interpretation of the situation, depends on your emotional reaction. For example, you can panic, cry or scream out of hopelessness, or you can, on the contrary, highlight the positive aspects in any dead-end situation and sincerely laugh at your stupid actions.
- What other options are there to get out of the current deadlock?? It cannot be that there are no options for solving your problem. I repeat once again, this cannot happen. There is always a choice. Sometimes we do it right, sometimes we make mistakes and regret what we did earlier. In order to find a way out of a deadlock situation, it is necessary to highlight several options for solving it, choose the best one for today and begin to act. You should never delay solving a problem, otherwise the problem may consume you and destroy your spiritual peace. What to do with the decision if it later turns out to be wrong? It is important that you consider this solution to be the most optimal for this moment, and if later you are not satisfied with the option, it can always be corrected. The main thing is not to sit back and not be discouraged, and the ability to make choices and act will give you confidence.
- What positive experience can be taken from the situation?? Even if everything is bad, you will gain experience that will help you not repeat your mistake again. What experience can you take from the situation? What is it? What is the positive side of the experience? Surely there is something positive in the seemingly dead-end situation in which you find yourself. If you claim that in your case positive points no, you are mistaken. It’s just that your emotions don’t give you the opportunity to look at the situation objectively or from the outside. Why don't you take a sheet of paper, divide this sheet into two columns, in one of which write down everything positive that you can take out of this situation, in the other - everything negative that worries you. Maybe after such an analysis it will be easier for you to make a decision?
- If the situation cannot be changed, maybe you should just accept it? Sometimes it happens that it takes time to understand and assess the situation. Sometimes there is no need to force events, but rather just wait and allow the situation to develop in its own way. In these circumstances, your emotions do not solve anything and their excessive manifestation will not make your life easier. So why not accept the situation as it is if you cannot change it? After all, sometimes accepting a situation requires more courage than taking active steps to change it.
In a person’s life there are many difficult and sometimes hopeless, dead-end situations. And often people don’t know what to do or how to get out of the deadlock.
Today, on the website of psychological assistance in difficult life situations website, you will read the recommendations of a psychologist and learn how to find a way out of critical, seemingly hopeless situations in life.
A hopeless situation - a dead end in life
People lead themselves into most of life's dead ends. And most often, any hopeless situation is only regarded as such by the person himself, because... at this critical, stressful moment, he cannot fully, to the fullest extent, use his intellect, knowledge and skills.
When a person is stressed, he thinks stereotypically and is emotional—irritated or depressed.
What is a stalemate, a hopeless situation in a person’s life?
A psychological impasse, or a hopeless situation in life - also called a stalemate - is when a person cannot make the right life choice, is unable to find a solution to a problem, or generally does not know what to do under any difficult or critical circumstances.
He is stressed, depressed or neurotic at this moment, so he cannot think and act adequately to the situation “here and now”.
What to do if you find yourself in a critical, difficult life situation?
The first thing you need to do in a crisis, deadlock situation is to understand in advance that there are no hopeless situations.
You can always find a way out of current circumstances and make your choice.
Prevention of crisis and hopeless situations in life
To prevent crisis situations - so that there are as few of them as possible in life - you need to constantly expand your worldview - make a wider model of the world, a map of reality.
And not to live constantly in stagnation, in your “comfort zone”.
In other words, in order to avoid serious dead ends in your life, you need to constantly engage in personal growth and self-development.
“Constantly” means all your life. Then you won’t have to look for a way out of the dead end - you simply won’t get into it.
How to find a way out of a hopeless situation
If you are ALREADY in a dead end, crisis situation, then you need to get out of it immediately. First of all, by relieving stress and changing your attitude towards the problem itself.
How to find a way out of a dead end, hopeless situation?
- You can relieve stress almost instantly, for example, by relaxing with the help of psychotraining, deep breathing, or by changing your negative thoughts about the problem to more positive or neutral ones;
- Once you normalize your thinking and emotions, you will be able to assess and adequately characterize the problem (often, only by changing your attitude, the problem disappears on its own);
- If you have few obvious choices, for example only two, you can rationally and adequately (without nerves) expand your worldview and see other possibilities for solving the problem;
- If all choices are evil, then the lesser of several evils is chosen;
- If you can’t get out of a hopeless situation on your own, seek help...
Help in difficult life situations
When people cannot get out of life’s impasse on their own - they are stressed, depressed, “on edge” - then they need a professional, psychological help in crisis situations.
After removing the neurotic symptoms, it will be possible to find a way out of almost any hopeless situation.
Consult online psychologist-psychanalyst Oleg Vyacheslavovich Matveev