My path to God. Church etiquette

Any conversation usually begins with a greeting - this is a generally accepted requirement of politeness in society. When people meet, they wish each other goodness and prosperity, success in work, good morning, day or evening. When meeting people, you can greet them with any words, the main thing is that the greeting is cordial and sincere. Even in the usual greeting “Hello!” or “Good afternoon!” fully contained Orthodox attitude to a person. However, there are greetings that are accepted only in the Orthodox environment.

Orthodox Christians often use the form of thanksgiving “Save, Lord!” when communicating in almost all cases: when meeting, when parting, and even when making a positive mention of a third person (“Save him, Lord!”) Although the tradition of spiritual communication is much richer and more diverse. In Central Ukraine, for example, they still greet each other in churches with a joyful: “Glory to God!” - “Glory to God forever!” Over two thousand years, Christians around the world have developed special forms of greeting. In ancient times, they greeted each other with the exclamation: “Christ is in our midst!”, Hearing in response: “And there is, and there will be.” Nowadays priests greet each other this way, but laymen should also remember this ancient tradition.

On the first day of Easter, and also during Holy Week and until Easter is celebrated, a solemn greeting sounds: “Christ is Risen!” - “Truly he is risen!” This greeting is repeated many times during the Easter service, and the tradition itself dates back to apostolic times. Greeting with the words “Christ is risen!” expresses joy similar to the joy of the apostles who learned about the resurrection of Christ. The Venerable Seraphim of Sarov said precisely: “Christ is Risen!” greeted those who came to him all year round. On Sundays and holidays It is customary for Orthodox Christians to greet each other with mutual congratulations: “Happy holiday!”, and on the eve of the holiday - “Happy Holy Evening.” And on the feast of the Nativity of Christ, Orthodox Christians greet each other with the words: “Christ is born!”; “We praise Him!” - sounds in response.

From the monasteries the tradition came into everyday life of asking permission to enter a room with the following words: “Through the prayers of the saints, our fathers, Lord Jesus Christ our God, have mercy on us.” At the same time, the person in the room, if allowed to enter, must answer: “Amen.” Of course, such a tradition is possible only among Orthodox monks; it is hardly applicable to lay people.

Children leaving home to study can be greeted with the words “Guardian Angel!” by crossing them. You can also wish a Guardian Angel to someone setting off on a journey, or say: “God bless you!”, or “God help you!” Orthodox Christians say the same words to each other when saying goodbye, or: “With God!”, “God’s help,” “I ask for your holy prayers,” and the like.

In the ancient Russian code “Domostroy,” a rule is given on how to greet someone when they come to visit: first bow to the icons, then to the owners with the words “Peace to this house.” Having caught your neighbors at a meal, it is customary to wish them: “An angel at the meal!” For everything, it is customary to warmly and sincerely thank your neighbors: “Save, Lord!”, “Save, Christ!”, or “Save you, God!”, to which the answer is supposed to be: “For the glory of God.” But if you think that people will not understand you, it is not necessary to thank you in this way. It’s better to say: “Thank you!”, or “I am grateful to you from the bottom of my heart.”

According to tradition, when two people meet, the younger one (by age or age) should say the greeting first. church hierarchy), and the elder should answer him. For example, usually when a layman meets a priest, the first one says: “Christ is risen! (Bless (those), father/honest father),” and the second replies: “Truly he is risen! (God bless)." Let us remember that in Orthodoxy it is not customary to address a priest with the words “holy father”; they say: “honest father” (for example: “Pray for me, honest father”).

It is not customary to address a priest by his first name or patronymic; he is called full name with the addition of the word “father”: “Father Alexy”, or “father”. The deacon may also be addressed by his name, which should be preceded by the word “father.” You are not supposed to take a blessing from a deacon.

Having met a priest in vestments (in a cassock with a cross or in liturgical vestments with an epitrachelion and in arms), ask him for a blessing, this will be your greeting. Approach the priest, bend a little, fold right hand on left palms up and say: “Father, bless.”

Father, overshadowing you sign of the cross, says: “God bless,” or “In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit” - and places his right, blessing hand on your palms. At this moment, the lay person receiving the blessing kisses the priest's hand. It happens that kissing the hand confuses some beginners. We should not be embarrassed - we are not kissing the hand of the priest, but of Christ himself, who at this moment is invisibly standing and blessing us. You just shouldn’t make the sign of the cross before taking a blessing from the priest. If the priest puts his hand on your head, then you do not need to kiss it.

If several priests are present, led by a bishop, approach only him for a blessing. If you have taken a blessing from one priest, and several more are standing nearby, turn to them with the words: “Bless, honest fathers,” and bow. If you are in a group of believers, the men in seniority come up first for the blessing (church ministers first, as if setting an example), then the women come, and the children come last. This rule also applies to the family: the husband comes first, the wife, then the children. When saying goodbye, ask the priest for a blessing again with the words “Forgive me, father, and bless me.”

IN Orthodox Church in official cases, it is customary to address a priest as “Your Reverence,” and to the abbot, the vicar of a monastery, if he is an abbot or an archimandrite, they are addressed as “Your Reverence,” and if the vicar is a hieromonk, “Your Reverence.” The bishop is addressed as “Your Eminence,” and the archbishops and metropolitans as “Your Eminence.” In a conversation, you can address a bishop, archbishop and metropolitan less formally - “Vladyka”, and the abbot of a monastery - “father vicar” or “father abbot”. It is customary to address His Beatitude Metropolitan Vladimir, Primate of the Ukrainian Orthodox Church as “Your Beatitude,” and To His Holiness the Patriarch- “Your Holiness.” All these appeals, naturally, do not mean the holiness of this or that particular person - a priest or a Patriarch; they express respect for holy orders confessors and saints.

People who go to church must understand that the Church has its own special rules of etiquette. They should be observed both in the temple and in the monastery. The church environment is closely related to piety, purification and transformation of the heart by God's grace given to those who labor and strive. Therefore, observing church etiquette is not only rules of conduct adopted to preserve church foundations, but also the path of ascent to God.

Spiritual people observe etiquette to attract the grace of God, therefore it is not customary to enter the temple in provocative clothes: women cannot wear trousers, short skirts, paint their lips with lipstick and be bareheaded. Men should not wear shorts, T-shirts, short-sleeved shirts or smell of tobacco. These rules should not be violated when attending church, since failure to comply with them can lead to a fair negative reaction from others.

The first thing a person entering the Temple should do is greet the priest. If you are preparing for confession or communion, be sure to learn how to greet the priest correctly, and how to address him correctly, depending on the rank he holds.

How do you greet priests?

Church ethics does not imply the use of the words “hello” or “good afternoon” to greet a priest. Usually they say to priests: “Father Paul, bless,” or “Father, bless.”

During the celebration of Easter (from its first day and the next forty days after it), it is customary to greet the priest with the words: “Christ is Risen!” Father, blessing, will answer: “Truly He is Risen!”

If the question of how to greet a priest in church can be easily resolved by simply asking advice from those around you, more experienced people, then what should you say to a priest when you meet him by chance on the street? If you encounter a priest who is not even wearing priestly vestments, you can still approach him and ask for his blessing.

You should know that a blessing can have several meanings. One of them is greeting. Only those of equal rank are allowed to greet the priest with a handshake. Everyone else, even deacons, must accept the blessing when meeting him. To do this, take a blessing hand with your palms folded together. After receiving the blessing, the believer needs to kiss the priest’s hand.

The priest can also bless parishioners in another way, for example, by placing a cross on the head of a believer or giving a blessing from a distance.

When parting, the parishioners do not say goodbye to the priest, but again ask for his blessing. At the same time, you need to say: “Forgive, father, and bless.”

Addressing the clergy by degree of priesthood

IN Orthodox world There are three degrees of priesthood:

• Deacons.
• Priests.
• Bishops.

How you address him depends on who is standing in front of you and who you are going to greet.

How to contact a deacon?

Deacons are assistants to priests; they do not have the same grace-filled power that priests have. Therefore, deacons do not serve the liturgy, do not baptize, do not confess, do not perform unction, do not marry, do not perform funeral services, and do not consecrate houses. But, nevertheless, the deacon can also give advice and receive prayers. It is customary to call a deacon “Father Deacon”; it is also possible to address him by name. When referring to a deacon in the third person, you can say: “Father Deacon” or “Father Alexander.”

How to contact a priest?

Addressing a priest should be reverent and respectful, since he is the bearer of special grace, which he receives by performing the sacrament of ordination to the priesthood.

You can contact priests in several ways. For example, Russian Orthodox Christians often, according to a long-standing custom, call them priests. Usually an appeal in this form looks like this: “Father, may I ask you?”

However, the address “Father” is a colloquial form, and according to another, more strict and official, the laity should address the priest, calling him “Father”: “Father Paul, may I ask you a question?”

If the priest is mentioned in the third person, then we can say: “Father John blessed” or “The rector advised.” The combination of the name and rank of a priest is undesirable: “Priest Paul” or “Archpriest John.” It is allowed to use a combination of the priest’s surname with the form “father”, for example: “Father Ivanov”.

It is not customary for Orthodox Christians to address a priest with the words “Holy Father.”

And, of course, in church, addressing the priest should only be “You.” Even if the priest is a close friend or a good friend to you, excessive familiarity will look inappropriate in front of strangers.

The bishop is usually called “Lord”. The most common form of address is in the vocative case: “Master, allow”, “Master, bless.” If the bishop is mentioned in the third person, then Nominative case: “Vladyka John blessed.”

Official speech, including written speech, has the following forms: “Most Reverend Vladyka” or “Your Eminence.”

How do you address the archbishop and metropolitan?

An archbishop is a senior bishop, a metropolitan is the highest rank of an Orthodox bishop. It is customary to address priests in such ranks as “Most Reverend Vladyka” or “Your Eminence.”

Appeal to the Patriarch

Patriarchs should be addressed as “Most Holiness” or “Your Holiness.” If you need to contact in writing, then they write: “Your Eminence, bless” or “Master, bless.”

Video on how to greet Orthodox Christians

Rules of etiquette in a monastery?

The monastery has its own special rules. To get acquainted with the monastic hostel, you need to spend a lot of time. Basic rules observed in monasteries during pilgrimage:

• Pilgrims or workers who come to the monastery for the first time must remember that in the monastery they should ask for blessings for everything and strictly fulfill them.
• Until you receive a blessing, you cannot leave the monastery.
• You should enter the monastery without your sinful habits and addictions: alcohol, foul language, smoking - all this is left outside its gates.
• It is customary to talk only about spiritual topics, and worldly life is not remembered. It is also impermissible to lecture each other. Among the most commonly used words, the most commonly uttered words are “bless” and “forgive.”
• Food, clothing, sleeping conditions must be accepted without complaint. Eating is possible only during a common meal.
• You cannot enter other people’s cells, unless the abbot sends you to convey or say something to someone.
• Each time you enter your cell, you must say a prayer out loud. At the same time, you cannot enter until after reading the prayer you hear “Amen” from behind the door.
• When meeting, the inhabitants of the monastery bow to each other, saying: “Save yourself, sister (brother),” to which the one they met must answer: “Save, Lord.” However, handshakes are not accepted when greeting.
• People living in monasteries are called monasteries. All of them have the orders of novices, cassock monks, mantle monks, schema monks. In monasteries, some monks have the sacred rank of clerks or priests. Each rank is addressed differently.

• You can contact the governors in different ways. different ways: “Father Viceroy”, “Father Paul”, or simply “Father”. When officially addressed, if the governor is an archimandrite or abbot - “Your Reverence”, if a hieromonk - then “Your Reverence”.
• You can address the dean: “Father Dean,” “Father Pavel,” or simply “Father.”
• As a rule, confessors are addressed as “Father” or “Father Paul.” If the confessor is spoken of in the third person, then they say: “I will consult with the confessor.”
• Housekeepers, sacristans, treasurers, and cellarers with clergy are addressed as “Father.” To those who have not been ordained, but have been tonsured, you can address: “Father Housekeeper”, “Father Treasurer”. A hieromonk, abbot, or archimandrite can be called “Father Paul” or “Father.”
• If a monk is tonsured, then he is called “Father,” a novice is called “Brother,” and if a novice is an elderly person, then he is called “Father.” When addressing a schema-monk, they usually use his rank with the prefix “schema”: “schema-archimandrite.”

Abbesses differ from nuns by having a golden pectoral cross and the right to bless. If you need to ask her for a blessing, then you should contact her like this: “Mother Abbess”, you can also call her by name: “Mother Anastasia”, “Mother Anastasia” or simply “Mother”.

IN convents Only abbess are called “Mothers,” so if you heard someone say “Mother,” then you should know that they mean the abbess.

If they address a nun, she is also called “Mother.” The novices are called “sisters,” and if the novice is an elderly woman, then when addressing her they use “mother.”

How do you greet clergy? Do you observe church etiquette? Tell us about it in

A man should know: IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO HUMILIATE and insult his wife by CALLING her rude words. Harsh words - WILL BE REMEMBERED, will leave a wound on the heart and will be expelled from there - Love. A man DOES NOT HAVE the right to COMMAND, shout, offend, and TO SUBMIT his wife by FORCE or violence. A man must CAREFULLY and lovingly treat his wife so that the wife, out of RESPECT for the man, wants to obey him. Elder Paisiy says that without love you CANNOT even subjugate the Cat.

It is IMPOSSIBLE to raise your hands against your wife and beat her. If a man raised his hand to a woman, then he with my own hands DESTROYS - his happiness. Not a single normal man will ever ALLOW himself to treat a woman RUDELY and VASTLY, not to mention to OFFEND her or HUMILIATE her and subjugate her - by force. And we need to remember the Russian folk proverb: “Forcibly MIL - you won’t!” Therefore, such rude men in vain hope that women will love them - for RUDE and VIOLENCE - NO, and again NO!

Many people are UNHAPPY on earth: either they are LONELY, or they have BAD families, or they are UNLUCKY in life. And all only because people DID NOT OBEY their parents, were rude to them, swore at them, offended their parents, insulted and humiliated them, condemned them, and therefore God did NOT GIVE them happiness! Until they - REPENT and confess these - Grave Sins and CORRECT - begin to treat their parents kindly and with respect - God WILL NOT GIVE them happiness on earth. The commandment of God says: HONOR your Father and your mother - may it be GOOD for you on earth, may you be LONG and HEALTHY in your life! This is God's Law! Whoever violates it deprives himself of all the good things in life!

Why are there so many unhappy families? Families are UNHAPPY mainly due to SELFISHNESS, pride and indifference of people to each other. A woman SHOULD remember that there are things that she SHOULD NEVER allow herself to do, under any circumstances. You can’t command your husband. You cannot insult or humiliate your husband. Rude and evil words DESTROY family relationships and KILL - love! . You can’t laugh at him, you can’t flaunt and discuss your family relationships with others. You cannot insult his parents, relatives and friends in front of your husband or without him. Because the WOUNDS that are inflicted will never heal. Maybe they will continue to live together, but without love. Love will simply disappear. Try to treat your parents and relatives and friends of your husband or wife WELL and help them if they need any help. When we treat them kindly - we treat them, help them and take care of them - then our husband or wife, seeing our KIND attitude towards his parents, his family and friends - STARTS to love and respect us MORE. If we begin to treat our spouse’s parents and loved ones BADLY, then by doing so we CAUSE him Great pain and Resentment, which over time can DESTROY the family. Also try to be - NICE - to your spouse's friends. It is important that they are - GOOD people, and the rest doesn't matter. And men must NOT FORGET that good wife- this is the first and most IMPORTANT - Friend and CHANGING your wife and your children for friends is STUPID.

YOU MUST remember that “An obstinate, harmful, scandalous, unyielding wife - there is a FIRE in the house and the family dies because of this!” Family happiness - unless the husband is a scoundrel, a selfish tyrant and a bitter drunkard - DEPENDS only on his wife! It’s sad if the husband is normal, but there is NO agreement in the family. IN family life Smart is not the one who insists on his own, but the one who knows how to give in in time. In small things - always give in, little things are not worth arguing or swearing over. Never answer with the word “No” to your husband’s proposal, even if you are categorically against it, say this: “It’s not a bad idea, but this and that confuses me,” and calmly state your objections. And then, listen to your husband's reasons. It is possible that you will be convinced that he is right. And if the truth is on your side, then after listening to your calm arguments, he himself will agree with you and will respect you more for the fact that you do not stir up a scandal. And the agreement between you will become stronger. The woman who acts unreasonably and STUPIDLY is the one who is always DISSATISFIED with her husband, gets irritated and rudely yells at him, ignores his opinion and doesn’t listen, does everything her own way, grumbles at him, constantly finds fault, and nags her husband or children. There has never been a case where someone who is scolded and nagged in this way has corrected his shortcomings. Usually, in this case, the husband STARTS to rush and leave home, spend less time in it, starts drinking, and may even find another woman who will be more attentive and kinder to him than his own wife. And it turns out that the woman herself cuts and DESTROYS the foundations of her family happiness. - “We don’t keep what we have—we cry when we lose it!” The greatest feat of married life is, despite everything, to SAVE the family. It is most important. Even folk wisdom says: “If you endure it, you will fall in love.” That is, before learning to love, you NEED to learn each other’s weaknesses - to endure and FORGIVE each other - always and in everything. And so, fulfill the law of Christ. You need to LEARN - to endure kindly, to humble yourself, YOU NEED to learn - to KEEP peace. This is what constitutes the basis of family life. If this is not the case, then, of course, saving the family can be difficult.

People, when they - GET MARRIED, after registration - must - GET MARRIED in church - otherwise later, when they - DIE and come to God - their souls will NEVER - MEET in Paradise and will be forever - Separated from each other forever! It is necessary for Orthodox Christians to get married, but in our times there is no way to Rush in this serious matter - it is IMPOSSIBLE. Categorically - you CANNOT do what many women WANT, through the Sacrament of Wedding - to TIE your husband more tightly to yourself, such a wedding the Lord DOES NOT ACCEPT and does not BLESS - there WILL BE NO happiness. A wedding in a church is not INSURANCE against divorce, and it is not a “magic” MEANS to ATTACH your spouse STRONGER to yourself. Such a consumerist attitude towards the Sacrament of Wedding is a Sin. Before the Wedding, the husband and wife must - LOVE each other truly and treat each other well, they must be ready for the Sacrament of Wedding to be performed on them. Both spouses must be believers, churchgoers, and not make-believe, that is, they must live a Spiritual life - know a certain minimum of prayers and constantly pray, they must DESIRE - go to Sunday and holiday services to church and understand the seriousness and importance of this. They must be able to Confess their sins and observe Fasts, and most importantly, they MUST strive to keep the Commandments of God. Then such married marriages DO NOT BREAK UP, because divorce in general is simply impossible, and therefore the spouses live in peace, in love and harmony among themselves all their lives.

1. The husband must be the Master in his family, but the owner must be KIND and Generous, and the wife must be KIND and OBEDIENT to her husband. Husbands are indifferent to the house and DO NOT HELP their wives in only two cases: A) Either the husband is a Selfish and Dishonest person and DOES NOT LOVE his wife. B) Either the wife herself is proud, obstinate and harmful, STRIVES to be the Main One and to Command everyone. Usually such families break up

2. The secret of happiness in family life is the kind ATTENTION of the spouses to each other. A husband and wife must constantly show each other SIGNS of the most TENDER Attention and love. We need to PLEASE our family members MORE OFTEN, give them - good mood. Do something good and pleasant for your loved ones more often. GIVE - small gifts and make pleasant and unexpected surprises, even just buying something in the store that your spouse loves - and treating it, is already a big deal!

3. RESPECT and TRUST for each other. If there is NO Trust and Respect for each other in a family, this means that there is NO Love, that people live in a family - each with their own lives, and this is Loneliness together - the saddest thing that can happen in a family relationship. All together this means that between people either love is GONE, or it never HAPPENED.

4. FREEDOM in the family is one of the MAIN and the most important conditions happy family life. Each of the spouses must be - CONFIDENT in the other, as in himself, knowing that he will always be CORRECTLY understood, will never be let down, betrayed and Abandoned - in trouble. You cannot - by force or material dependence - subordinate your spouse. You cannot IMPOSE and dictate to him YOUR will and your vision of life, your views on life, establish and demand fulfillment without the voluntary consent of your spouse - some rules of behavior and life. It is impossible to HUMILIATE, break and trample a person - God will not bless such a family and there will be no happiness in it. The Lord gave the Commandment - “Love your neighbor as yourself”! That's all! Either we treat our neighbors well and with RESPECT - and God blesses us and gives us happiness for our obedience and fulfillment of this Great Commandment of God! Either we treat our neighbors BADLY and therefore God punishes us and there is NO good in our lives. Therefore, the first rule is RESPECT your spouse, ACCEPT him as he is and rejoice and thank God that this person lives next to you, and that in his heart the Lord has INVESTED Love for you and therefore TAKE CARE - this is Great and a precious feeling! Cultivate it and STRENGTHEN it with your love, your tender attention, agreement and understanding, your respect - for your loved one and to a loved one. Rudeness, indifference, selfishness, reproaches, nagging, swearing, shouting, irritability, lack of respect, humiliation, COMMAND Tone - like “I said it!” – all this DESTROYS and destroys people’s love – DESTROYS families. The Lord is for Bad attitude to your neighbors - it can DEPRIVE you of love and then there WILL BE nothing good in your life. What we have, we don’t keep; when we lose it, we cry!

5. Common interests. Family is WE. A family is one big whole - indivisible, and therefore in a family - each of the spouses CANNOT live their own life separate from the other spouse. If in a family the spouses STARTED to live their own lives, such a family will soon BREAK UP. This is one of the laws of family life. WE NEED TO DISCUSS TOGETHER— pressing problems. Important decisions– MUST be taken TOGETHER. If you ask for advice, it means you RESPECT, and this is always PRECIOUS and serves to STRENGTHEN family relationships. Take an interest in the affairs of your husband and your wife, ask them about their work, find out about their plans and doubts in order to advise something, help with something. Get out together outside the apartment - on a visit, to a cafe, to a museum, to a theater, for a walk in some park! Be together more often, it brings you closer. Try to communicate more. Despite being very busy outside the home and having numerous household chores, FIND time for family communication. A huge number of married couples have broken up only because the spouses have almost STOP communicating with each other.

6. MONEY. Family budget must be GENERAL. None - Yours and Mine, just one wallet. No one should hide or HIDE any money or income from the other spouse; spouses should always know how much each of them earns. No secret bank accounts. Otherwise, there WILL NOT BE trust, and if there is no trust, love WILL GO AWAY. Spouses must decide TOGETHER what purchases and things they will buy and what they will spend the money on. IN money matters there must be complete TRUST - otherwise any FALSE or CONCEALING of monetary income - can DESTROY the trust of spouses in each other, and this is the beginning of family breakdown. One of the spouses earns MORE, and the other earns LESS or does not work at all - this does not mean anything at all. Everything happens. God forbid you reproach your spouse with a small salary - the best way DESTROY - you won’t find a family! How to live with a stingy person? God does not give happiness to such people. Also, it often happens that in a family - someone is better off financially, and the other is worse off - this also does not matter. On the contrary, the more prosperous spouse should rejoice that he HAS the opportunity to HELP his spouse and his loved ones and relatives, and with his KINDNESS, his selfless help and care, firmly TIE their hearts to himself. Women often consider DEPENDENCE on a man as a manifestation of personal weakness. Rely on loved one- This good SIGN- normal family relationships. This is a SIGN of a friendly family and close relationships.

Leave to each other - Free space. Each of us can have our own interests, our own friends, time for ourselves, but it SHOULD NOT be SECRET so that your spouse does not think that you have something to hide. Respect the freedom, rights and hobbies of the person close to you. Never get into your bag or pockets, do not rummage through drawers. desk, Do not read - other people's letters and notes, Do not check - not yours mobile phone and notebooks, Do not go to your spouse’s personal pages on the Internet - you are not a gendarme or a prosecutor and your spouse is not a criminal. There SHOULD BE NO SECRETS or secrets from each other in a family. If in a family there is NO close, trusting relationship between spouses, this means that between husband and wife there is NO Trust, consent and mutual understanding, which means NO Love, therefore NO family!

Why do many people, having quarreled, CANNOT make peace with each other? Can't they forgive each other? Yes, because the person who is guilty DOESN’T WANT to admit his GUILT, his WRONGNESS! Admitting one's MISTAKES is the most IMPORTANT and MOST IMPORTANT thing in people's relationships, and this is especially IMPORTANT in the family relationships of spouses. If people RECOGNIZE their mistakes, RECOGNIZE that they are WRONG, and ask for Forgiveness, then TRUST appears between people and only then is dialogue, RECONCILIATION and achievement of agreement between them POSSIBLE. Only then do relationships between people begin to DEVELOP further. If people DO NOT RECOGNIZE their mistakes and their WRONGNESS, do not want to correct themselves, then a WALL appears - of misunderstanding and resentment between people, trust DISAPPEARS, family relationships reach a dead end and begin to CRASH. Then people CANNOT and ARE NOT ABLE to come to an agreement and truly reconcile with each other.

Remember one very wise rule: If you quarrel during the day, you must RECONCILE before the evening! If you quarrel at night, you must MAKE UP before the morning! Compliance with this law will SAVE your relationships and your family! Don't do it out of spite. Try NOT to HURT someone else. Never give any ultimatums - to each other. Do not order, do not command, do not speak in an orderly tone that does not tolerate objections. DON'T YELL - at each other, don't even RAISE your voice. Never CRITICISE each other, try to refrain from reproaches and claims against each other - all these are types of Aggression, which will definitely turn against you - your spouse, and as a rule will lead to quarrels. Don't make fun of each other. Swearing, insults and quarrels, criticism, any complaints - KILL love, DESTROY - family relationships and family! And if a quarrel occurs, then - DO NOT HUMILIATE or insult the other person, DO NOT call him - HURTING words and try to stop the quarrel and reconcile in a kind way, try to calm the other person down. Therefore, always try to be FIRST - to approach and make peace. It is important.

One of the main reasons for the BAD family life of spouses, as well as for the Loneliness of people, is the INABILITY and unwillingness of people to treat people WELL, Women - to men, and Men - to women. Many women - treat men BADLY - CONSIDER them as bad, unreliable people, drunkards, quitters, womanizers - DO NOT RESPECT - men. But not all men are drunkards and womanizers - there are a LOT of normal men and JUDGING everyone is a big Sin! That’s why all such women DO NOT have family happiness, because they DO NOT RESPECT other people and men, they consider them WORSE, they think about themselves and think Evilly about people! There will be no happiness for their daughters either. IT WILL NOT happen until they REPENT of this sin and CORRECT and learn to RESPECT men. And you MUST learn to treat all people WELL - otherwise there will be no good in life. A man is the image of God; by not respecting men, a woman insults God! Therefore, the Lord does not give such women happiness!

We need to PROTECT love in the family! We need to take care of our feelings for each other! You need to take care of your family! You need to Fight for your love and, if necessary, then PROTECT it from everyone who wants to destroy your family - even if they are people close and dear to you! You need to understand that God gives love and happiness - only once! And if a person knows that he is loved and still STRUGGLES over his loved one, DOES NOT VALUE his feelings, insults and humiliates the person who loves him, treats him Unfairly - then he thereby KILLS - in this person Self-Love and Destroys his family! Such a person must know that God will never GIVE him happiness again! After all, they gave it to him once, but he didn’t save it! But if a person - REPENTS and CHANGES - becomes kind person, if the Lord BELIEVES him, then God can forgive him and can give him happiness again. This happens sometimes.

It is very dangerous to DENY a man - ATTENTION and SEX - without a good reason, for example, illness. And it is IMPOSSIBLE to deceive at all - sooner or later the deception will be revealed and then - DIVORCE. A man will neither tolerate nor forgive. Often the wife, BEING OFFENSED by her husband, or wanting to achieve something, DENIES him intimacy, SEX. This is not only a big STUPIDITY, but it is provoking a husband to cheat, and this is a direct DESTRUCTION of the family! Well, once, you were offended and refused to have sex with your husband, two times - you show your whim or give an ultimatum to your husband, three - you refused, saying that you are supposedly not in the mood or have a headache, and the fourth time, your husband will either take a mistress - and this Sin falls on you. Or he will leave completely and FIND himself another woman who will always need him. By doing this, over and over again - REFUSING sex to your husband - you yourself PUSH your husband away - from yourself and in the end he will LOSE all interest in you. And then, it will be too late to cry - he will NOT NEED you, and if he DOESN’T NEED you - as a woman, then even more so as a wife. That’s it, you can consider that you no longer have your family. A man, when he is denied intimacy, perceives it as a very serious personal offense that may never be forgiven. Sex, of course, is not the main thing, it only helps so that people BE REALLY CLOSE to each other. But for a man, the understanding that he is always NEEDED and close to his wife is very IMPORTANT, and if a woman DENIES him Sex, Intimacy, then he REVIEWS this as a REJECTION of himself, for him it is humiliating, and most importantly, he begins to know that the woman DOES NOT LOVE him. This is one of the main reasons when husbands LEAVE their wives. And very IMPORTANT! Husbands - TEACH your wives - CHASTITY. Do not allow any sinful perversions in sex - do not corrupt your loved one and yourself. If there are such Sinful desires or there have been attempts - Confess these sins and be PURE. Where perverted lustful passion dwells, love LEAVES. And if love goes away, YOU WILL LOSE your loved one and family. Keep - pure relationships, this is the key to family happiness.

Parents - try to explain to your children so that they TAKE CARE of their PURITY - CHASTITY and before marriage - DO NOT ENTER INTO SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH ANYONE. This is very, very IMPORTANT! Otherwise, they WILL NOT have happiness in life. God WILL NOT GIVE! Your children SHOULD NOT watch any kind of Pornography or Erotica. Pornography and Erotica – DEPRIVES a person of SHAME and CORRUPTS the soul. And the person who has LOST Shame is LEAVED by the Lord and does not keep. Girls must TAKE CARE of their Maiden HONOR - men APPRECIATE this very much and therefore everyone is so PURE, girls always get married EASY - and God gives them happiness, strong families and healthy children. It is also IMPORTANT that parents DO NOT ALLOW PRODIGIOUS cohabitation of your children in a civil marriage. If people love each other, they HONESTLY register their marriage and live together - only in a legal family. And the Lord blesses only such families. Because of Prodigal cohabitation, God DOES NOT GIVE family happiness to your children, and if there is NO family happiness, then people’s destinies DESTROY. In prodigal cohabitations, SICK and defective children with BAD genes are usually born; as a rule, such children DO NOT have anything good in life, and their parents are GUILTY for this - because they lived in a civil marriage. Hegumen Georgy (Shestun)

Quarrels and swearing always end BADLY, even if people seem to have calmed down and reconciled, but in reality this is not the case, in every person’s soul there is bound to remain and gradually ACCUMULATE a bitter, offensive aftertaste and emptiness. A person’s unresolved problems and grievances, if they are NOT HEARD, do not want to UNDERSTAND, and are not taken into account, can sooner or later forever RUIN relationships between people, and in family life can LEAD to the DESTRUCTION of the family, to divorce! Our resentments, hostility, dissatisfaction and unkind feelings towards another person, if we DO NOT FORGIVE and do not put up with kindness, HAVE the ability to ACCUMULATE in the soul. If we DO NOT put up with each other kindly, if we do not strive to understand the other person, to give in to him, if we DO NOT WANT to agree with him, we do not want to take his opinion into account - then RESULTS accumulate in the souls of people and sooner or later late - families are DESTROYED. Therefore, if we kindly DO NOT FORGIVE each other, do not make peace with each other, then in the end all our grievances and claims against each other ACCUMULATE to a dangerous level, after which reconciliation between spouses is no longer POSSIBLE. Love and good feelings completely DISAPPEAR, giving way to bitterness and anger - families usually in this case fall apart. In addition to complete reconciliation between spouses, in order for grievances not to ACCUMULATE, and along with grievances, subconscious AGGRESSION in the souls of spouses, Repentance for sins and grievances is necessary, so that the Lord Himself will REMOVE from our souls all grievances, all aggression and discontent, and even itself - the memory of our grievances and claims to each other. When a lot of mutual grievances, dissatisfaction and claims against each other ACCUMULATE between spouses, then quarrels START to break out - over every trifle, which ultimately turns the family life of the spouses into a continuous battle and will not end well. Therefore, in order for the spouses to CALM DOWN and the long-awaited Peace and Harmony to come, it is necessary to GO to Confession in church and everything carefully - to confess and take communion. After this - it always COMES in the house - Big world and Harmony and people live calmly and then they are surprised - how they used to fight so much and often among themselves. Detailed confession of our quarrels, grievances and claims against each other completely RESTORES good family relationships. That is, when we honestly, without hiding anything and WITHOUT JUSTIFYING ourselves - confess to the priest WHY - we treat each other BADLY, get irritated, scream, swear, grumble, reproach and offend each other, do not give in, do not forgive - it is completely ERASED from our souls all the anger, all the discontent, all the irritability, all the grievances and claims towards each other, and our souls are FILLED with Peace, Love, and people begin to treat each other well and kindly and live peacefully. The house is restored - Peace and harmony, everyone feels good. Now you yourself understand how IMPORTANT sincere and detailed Repentance for your sins is. That is why, the Sacrament of Repentance and the Sacrament of the Communion of the Holy Mysteries is the BEST medicine for the human soul and THE BEST MEANS- for IMPROVING family life and good marital relationships.

DANGER - JEALOUSY Jealousy is usually the ordinary SELFISHNESS of spouses. Many are jealous because they CONSIDER that a loved one is their PERSONAL PROPERTY – A THING. If a person’s jealousy is based - not on love, but on pure EGOISM, on the feeling of Ownership, on calculation - then such jealousy is INCORRECTABLE and very DANGEROUS. Then it is better to part with such a person, and it is dangerous to live with a jealous person. You should not confuse and mistake LOVE for Selfish jealousy - these are completely different things. To be jealous of someone who LOVES is complete senselessness and STUPIDITY, and to be jealous of someone who DOESN'T LOVE is simply Useless! Such people think only about themselves, so that only they feel good, and therefore, they consider themselves right to put forward their claims and dubious suspicions to their loved ones, to reproach, to RUIN their lives with scandals. They forget about the main thing, that RUDE, reproaches and swearing CANNOT force a person to love themselves, but it is very easy to LOSE your last feelings and relationships. Normal person- MAY BE a little jealous, but he IS JEALOUS - Silently, he doesn’t make a scandal because he doesn’t want to HURT his loved one with jealousy. And this feeling is normal, it shows that a person cares about another person. You won’t be forced to be nice! If a person DOESN’T LOVE you, then you will never MAKE him love you with RUDE, reproaches and scandals! On the contrary, you will only drive him away from you with your Bad Behavior and Wild Jealousy!

PARABLE - WHY PEOPLE QUARTER.

In one small town two families live next door. Some spouses constantly quarrel, BLAMING each other for all troubles and finding out which of them is RIGHT, while others live peacefully and amicably, they have no quarrels, no scandals. The obstinate housewife marvels at her neighbor’s happiness. Jealous. He says to his husband: “Go and see how they do it so that everything is smooth and quiet.” He came to the neighbor's house and hid under open window. Watching. Listens. And the hostess is just putting things in order in the house. He wipes the dust off an expensive vase. Suddenly the phone rang, the woman got distracted, and put the vase on the edge of the table, so that it was about to fall. But then her husband needed something in the room. He caught a vase, it fell and broke. “Oh, what’s going to happen now!” the neighbor thinks. The wife came up, sighed with regret, and said to her husband: “I’m sorry, dear.” I AM GUILTY. I placed the vase so carelessly. - What are you doing, honey? It's my fault. I was in a hurry and didn’t notice the vase. Anyway. I’ll give you another flower vase, even more beautiful. ... The neighbor’s heart sank painfully, he began to think, and the neighbor realized why he and his wife were constantly quarreling. He came home upset. His wife to him: “What took you so long?” Have you looked? - Yes, he says, he looked! - Well, how are they doing? – They are all GUILTY, they all calm each other down, feel sorry for each other. But with us, everyone is RIGHT. Neither you nor I give in to each other. That's why we fight with you all the time.

If the husband DRINKS, then the wife must KNOW that by this the Lord is PUNISHING the wife and only the wife and therefore DOES NOT GIVE her happiness in family life.

For - INDIFFERENCE towards God.

For - committed own Sins, mainly for PRIDE, inflated self-esteem,

For - disrespect and DISOBEDIENCE - your husband,

For - constant dissatisfaction - with your husband and your life,

For wanting a LOT, for GREED and selfishness,

For - Spiritual NEGLIGENCE and oblivion of God - for lack of humility.

Therefore, before you BLAME your husband for being so bad and a drunkard, wouldn’t it be better to do your own Repentance and correction? After all, God punished you with your husband’s drunkenness, first of all, which means that God expects from you Repentance, and most importantly, obedience and zealous life according to the Laws of God. The trouble is that if many normal women who love and care for their family, WOULD - good husbands who, just like their wives, would love their families and take care of them, then as Elder Paisius says: “Both spouses would fall asleep - in their little earthly family happiness.” And so, they would LOST - the Kingdom of Heaven. But it happens that the husband is really an incorrigible drunkard - from a drinking family - usually you CANNOT CORRECT such people and it is better to marry them - NOT TO MARRY. If a man LIKES to drink and he drinks - every day, not at all - without worrying that with his drinking he is preventing his loved ones from living - why live with him? This is silly. Spouses must - KEEP Faith in God so that family happiness, everyday life, caring for children and the household - would not wean them off from praying and going to Church. So that they do not grow cold towards God, otherwise there may be trouble. God STOPS helping people if he SEES that people HAVE BEEN PASSIONATE with their household chores and troubles, building earthly well-being, STOPPED praying, going to church, BECOME INDIFFERENT towards God, BECOME ungrateful and selfish people. Then God - Leaves such careless people and REMOVES from them His Divine COVER - which KEPT people - from troubles and misfortunes. Then people START having difficult problems in life. Then don't cry. Many family quarrels often HAPPEN - only because the husband and wife are BAD - praying or missing morning and evening prayers, they RARELY go to church and DO NOT REPENT of their sins - and because of this, there was no GOD'S COVER over this family - that's why quarrels began.

A GRANDMOTHER'S ADVICE TO HER GRAND DAUGHTER. ADDRESS from great-grandmother Fedosya Ermolaevna to my mother on her wedding day:

1. - NEVER FUCK - with your husband in front of your children. They WILL NOT respect you or your father. And if children stop respecting their parents, then they will STOP obeying, then there will be trouble.

2. - Never COMMANDER your husband, it’s better to make him want what you need.

3. – Keep Peace in your home. Learn to forgive and be the first to make peace. Quarrels, insults and rudeness RUIN families. Peace in the family is most precious.

4. - Never clean the house - in Bad mood. You'll spread even more dirt.

5. - Don’t be afraid and DON’T BE LAZY - study. A well-educated, intelligent, well-mannered wife has SMART, well-mannered children. And smart children usually have a great future and good families.

6. – DON’T BE JEALOUS – jealousy RUINS a family. If your husband loves you, he will not CHANGE, therefore KEEP - your spouse’s love and respect for yourself - then the husband will not go outside.

7. - Always prepare food - TASTY and beautiful, people are not animals to eat mush.

8. — The main thing in a family is RESPECT for each other. THERE WILL BE - respect - THERE WILL be love. And people are respected only for KINDNESS, HONESTY, RESPONSIBILITY and decency - therefore, we must all STRIVE to be GOOD people and treat people with respect. Repost! Copy and Post - on your pages and blogs and with friends. Everyone needs to KNOW about this. There will be more - GOOD families and good children! Which means there will be MORE good people!

Excerpts from the book - HOW TO OBTAIN STRONG FAITH IN GOD.

Instructions

When meeting a priest, it is not customary to say “Hello” and try to shake hands. Pious parishioners ask for a blessing: they bow at the waist, touching the ground, and say: “Father John, bless.” There is no need to be baptized. If you don’t know the priest’s name, you can say: “Father, bless.” At the same time, fold your hands with your palms up: right palm on top of the left. The priest makes the sign of the cross with the words “God bless” or “In the name of the Father, and the Son and the Holy Spirit” and places his right hand on your palms. In response, you must kiss your hand, which often confuses new parishioners. There is no need to be shy, because by kissing the priest’s hand, you are touching the invisibly approaching Christ, blessing you. The same rule applies to a priest.

It is appropriate to ask for a blessing before a long trip, in difficult life circumstances, for example, before a surgical operation. The important meaning is permission, permission, parting words.

If you need to invite a priest home to perform a religious service, this can be done either in person or by telephone. IN telephone conversation they also say “Bless, Father” and state the essence of the request. When ending the conversation, you need to thank and, again, ask for blessings.

Addressing priest in writing, the forms “Your Reverence” (when addressing a priest), “Your Reverence” (when addressing an archpriest) are used.

note

In the traditions of Orthodoxy, a priest is not addressed with the words “holy father.” Instead they say "honest father."

Related article

Sources:

• how to contact father

If you are taking your first steps towards becoming a church member, then it is quite natural that you have different questions. Sometimes you want to know something about the external, ritual side of church life. Sometimes you need to ask about something more serious, for example, asking for advice in a difficult life situation. But many are embarrassed or afraid to approach priest.

Instructions

Choose a convenient time. It is unacceptable to distract the priest while performing church sacraments. It's best to approach priest after the end of the service. First you need to ask the priest for his blessing. Cross your hands: right over left, palms up. After receiving the blessing, kiss the priest's hand. This is not only a sign to the person bearing the priesthood, but, most importantly, the acceptance of a blessing from the Lord Himself. After this you can ask a question.

There is nothing terrible if you don’t know how to behave in a particular case (how to ask for blessings, light candles, how to venerate icons, etc.). If it is difficult for you to perform some ritual (for example, ask for a blessing), do not force yourself. Your faith should be free and voluntary, and the performance of rituals must be conscious. The priest will be friendly to you in any case, even if your experience of church life is very small.

Many parishes have specially designated time with parishioners. This is the most suitable option in order to ask a question, because you can be sure that there is time for you. If such conversations are not held at the temple, just ask the priest when he can devote time to you.

Many people ask questions priest during your own. This is quite acceptable, but you just need to remember that you should not detain the priest for too long, because he will probably have to confess to other parishioners, and this takes a lot of time. In addition, this is a sacrament of a serious prayerful attitude and a deep desire to be cleansed of sins. If you still want to ask your question during confession, consider whether it would be appropriate.

Communication with priests via the Internet is now widely practiced. On various websites, forums, in social networks there is an opportunity to ask a question to one or another priest. Often this can be done, which, of course, is very convenient. But we must take into account that not all questions Father is able to answer virtually. He can only give general recommendations or direct your thoughts in a certain direction. But you should not rely entirely on virtual communication, since only during a personal conversation will the priest be able to deeply delve into your situation.

Video on the topic

note

Do not despair if the answer you receive to a question does not satisfy you or even upsets you. This may be to your advantage, because then you will be able to look at the situation in a new way, and perhaps understand your own mistakes. No matter how your communication with the priest turns out, try to find the answer to your question within the framework of the Church. Read books, articles on Orthodox websites, communicate with believers, and God will definitely reveal to you what to do in a given situation.

Helpful advice

Finding your spiritual father is a very difficult task. Even those who have been regularly going to church for several years often do not have a confessor. But you must strive for this, because a priest who knows your spiritual life well will be able to help you in various ways. life situations.

Sources:

• How to ask for blessings

Performing worship in Orthodox church It is impossible to imagine without the ministry of a priest. However, the elders of the Orthodox Church not only lead church service, but also with their conversations and advice they help people in their everyday as well as spiritual issues. Many may wonder how to private conversation you should contact a priest.

In the Orthodox Church, apostolic reception is preserved, expressed in one of the seven sacraments, namely, ordination to the priesthood. Through the laying on of the hands of a bishop (who can be a bishop, archbishop, metropolitan, or even the patriarch himself) on the head of the protege, special divine grace descends on the latter. From the time of ordination to the priesthood, the presbyter of the Church can perform the sacraments established by the Church, as well as other sacred rites. Therefore, the attitude of the laity towards the priest is very reverent.

In a private conversation to Orthodox priest can be addressed in different “ways”. The most common is the address “father,” which reflects the people’s love for their pastor, respect for the holy order and the person’s remembrance that the priest is a spiritual mentor, a father for his flock. Such an appeal is especially appropriate when the believer does not know the name of the priest (for example, a person went to a church in another city, etc.). Another title that may not use the clergyman's name is "father."

When a person knows a priest, it is quite appropriate to address the latter by name. It should be noted that in this case the name of the priest is pronounced according to the pronunciation with the “prefix” “father”. For example, “Father Sergius” (and not “Father Sergei”), Father John (and not “Father Ivan”).

There is another practice of turning to an Orthodox priest, used more often on official events, conferences or other similar meetings. So, you can address a priest as “Your” or “Your Reverence.” It is worth considering that priests of the Orthodox Church, depending on their length of service or awards, have the rank of priest, and for the monastic clergy - hieromonk, abbot or archimandrite. The address “Your Reverence” is appropriate for priests and hieromonks, and archpriests, abbots and archimandrites should be addressed as “Your Reverence.”

Video on the topic

The years of Soviet atheism practically eradicated official church etiquette from the lives of our fellow citizens. Many people today do not know how to address clergy. And, if such a need suddenly arises, a person who is far from observing church canons, may end up in an awkward position. Especially if foreign “padres” and “holy fathers” are imprinted in his mind. In fact, to the priest of the Russian Orthodox Church, especially to to the patriarch, must be handled in accordance with special rules.

Due to our spiritual weakness and little experience, most of us do not know how to pray, do not know how and for what to praise God, in what words and what we should and can ask Him for; have not yet experienced in their own experience what it means to “bow the knees of the heart” before the Lord, have not learned to “get away from the vanity of the world, placing your mind in heaven,” and, in the words of the Apostle Paul, have not yet found and felt God, “although He is not far away.” from each of us” We can learn this from those who through their own suffering acquired the grace of the Holy Spirit, entered into direct communion with God and pass on to us their experience of knowing God.

Priest Georgy Borovikov, rector of the Dmitrievsky parish in the village, answers questions from parishioners. Yablonovo Korochansky deanery, Belgorod and Stary Oskol Diocese. He was ordained for 4 years; before that, Father George served as a naval combat officer and the Lord brought him with his mercy to Archimandrite Hippolytus, rector of the St. Nicholas Rylsky Monastery in 2000. Many people don’t just fall into the flock. The Holy Fathers teach that it is honorable to aspire to monasticism, but to enter the priesthood only for obedience. Through this obedience Fr. George and accepted the priesthood.

QUESTIONS TO FRATE GEORGE

What services can be ordered in the temple?

Proskomedia –

During the service, which is performed at the altar, either notes are given, or a list is entered into the memorial book. During the service, a piece is removed from the service prosphora and put down at the end. Divine Liturgy into the cup with the blood of Christ our God. Thus, the Lord forgives the sins of those who were remembered;
Mass - here for each name a piece of a separate personalized prosphora is taken out and also dropped into the chalice at the end of the liturgy.

Prayers for health -

They are performed either before the liturgy or after. We pray to the Lord our God and the Mother of God, the holy saints of God, asking them to intercede before God for our living loved ones.
Funeral services are performed as proskomedia and mass, but also requiem and lithium are performed - these are separate services at which we remember our dead. They are served at the end of the service or separately. It is advisable for relatives to be present at such a service, because the souls of the dead, who are commemorated, according to the mention of the holy fathers, will be present.

Funeral service –

This is the rite of separation of the soul from the body. Angels take the soul and take it to God. But the funeral service itself does not relieve the soul from the severity of sins. Liberation from sins is repentance performed before the Lord through confession to a priest. The Lord grants forgiveness of the mentioned sins after a prayer of permission, which the priest reads over the confessor. Forgotten sins, i.e. Those sins that we cannot remember are forgiven by the Lord after the sacrament of Anointing or Unction.

The human soul receives forgiveness of many sins during the celebration of proskomedia and mass. Along with this, alms given in remembrance or for health have enormous power. But alms are not such as giving three kopecks at the temple, but real help, things, good deeds, something truly needed. At the same time, we ask you to “remember this servant of God.” In response, a person only needs to say, “Lord, rest the soul of your deceased servant (name).” This is already remembrance, the performance of mercy.

How is the soul punished for sins?

When the brethren asked the rector of the Rylsk monastery, Father Ippolit, about the ordeals after death: “what really happens?”, he smiled and said: “fathers, everyone has their own ordeals.” There are canonical references to the soul’s response for its sins, for example, Theodora’s 20 ordeals, but this does not mean that they will be like that for everyone. But the fact that you will have to answer is certain. Without cleansing the soul by repentance before death, without receiving communion and without receiving unction, we carry the entire burden of sins with us to God. And the Lord, as a judge, exacts from us what we have that is unworthy.

What if the death occurred suddenly, the person died in a car accident?

In Orthodoxy, no event is accidental. The factor of surprise is inherent, there are saints who beg the souls of God for those who died suddenly - the Great Martyr Barbara, Blessed Ksenia. We should not turn to God like we go to a stall when something happens. Orthodoxy itself is a living faith, confirmation that whoever begins to pray to God, God arranges everything for his good, teaches him how to pray and through which saints. How to pray for the living and the dead. Who to beg? The results of all spiritual labors are reflected in this way: when piety returns to the house, then the children will be obedient, then God’s understanding in the family will be complete, the desire to go to church will come not out of obligation, but at the behest of the heart. He will be drawn to God, everything in the family will be grace-filled, grace will return. The gaps of godlessness and unbelief will be erased. Maybe the Lord will call someone from the family to become a monk; one must bear responsibility for the family in order to save all one’s loved ones.

It turns out that faith in God rests only on the fear of punishment for sins?

Prayer to God is divided into three stages: the first is the lowest, as the master’s slave loves. And a slave loves and pleases so that his master does not punish him.

The second stage is the love of a mercenary - for his work the mercenary expects reward from God in the form of gifts, success, prosperity in life and salvation in the life of the next century.

The highest love is the love of a son, when the soul loves God without demanding or expecting anything in return from him, no favor at all. She simply yearns for God and is united in God all her life. The holy saints love our God so much. But the Lord comes to such a soul and brings about all good things during his lifetime.

What is the concept of faith? What importance does faith play in a person’s life?

The very concept of faith is life-determining for a person, because if a person lives without faith, he lives at the level of an animal. A reasonable person thinks: “Why am I living? Why am I living? How can I live? Where did it all come from and how does it all end? We are all now intelligent, educated, not only asking ourselves these questions, but also trying to find answers to them. But without faith there will be no answer, because God is the creator of all things, and he reveals himself to a person exactly as much as a person goes to him. How stronger man He seeks God, the more God will reveal himself to him. And when a person feels God within himself, then he will joyfully confess God in his life, according to the measure of his cross. He can do good deeds in the name of our God or help in the temple. Or maybe in the future he will become an Orthodox associate, a monk, as the Lord shows him how to go in life, what kind of cross he has.

It turns out that we live without knowing our cross?

We are endowed with enormous freedom and God does not draw man to his lasso. The fact that we have been honored to become Orthodox Christians is the merit of our ancestors, our fathers, grandfathers, and great-grandfathers. Because they acquired the grace of the Holy Spirit and begged God for us to be born Orthodox. In most cases, we baptize children in infancy, and non-believers often have the question: “Why? Why can’t a child choose his own faith when he grows up?” The answer here is simple - we are an Orthodox family and live on Orthodox land, which has been Orthodox for 1025 years. That is why God gave us Orthodox children. If a child were destined to be a Jew, then he would be born in Israel, if a Buddhist, then in China. But since children are born in Orthodox land, then we baptize them into Orthodoxy. This is determined by God, by the chosenness of the people. Previously, the chosen people were the Jewish people, but according to the New Testament, having delivered Christ the God to crucifixion, they turned away from God, losing their chosenness. The chosenness did not just transfer to some race, but transferred to Orthodox Christians. When God was crucified on the cross, the Jewish people rejoiced. God said that there would never be peace on this earth, this curse is still in effect today, they imposed it on themselves. As the Scripture says: “With your eyes you will see and not see, with your ears you will hear and not hear.” That is, one person can read the Bible and not understand anything in it, but another, by the grace of God, will know everything that exists by the Holy Spirit... This depends on the grace of the family, inherited from the ancestors, called piety. And piety gives birth to righteousness or reverence in a person, if the person is a monk.

For deeds, for piety, the grace of the spirit is revealed. The Lord gives strength to serve, because if you read the lives of the saints, what sorrows they bore, it seems that a person is not able to do this. But this is out of love for the Lord. Such people are special. They carry God within them from birth. This is a great honor for the entire family - according to its piety, the family deserves a prayer book, a venerable one or a righteous one. The holy saints beg the family up to 14 tribes back and forth, for their labors, for their holiness.

Previously, crosses were placed in cemeteries, now they are monuments, which is correct?

It often happens that secular names differ from Orthodox ones. And secular metrics are written on the monument, but according to the Orthodox structure of the cemetery, it is necessary for Orthodox crosses to stand on the graves. On the cross is the name written down by God, and the metrics are written below. This is customary so that the deceased is remembered in the Orthodox way. Funeral treats are left at the grave not for the dead; the soul does not eat anything, so that the poor or beggar, taking the treat, remembers the deceased: “Lord rest the soul of your servant.” If there is no cross on the grave, the soul becomes confused when commemorating it.

Is it necessary to cover mirrors when there is a dead person in the house? someone says - prejudices, someone is afraid, but few know how to do it right

The soul comes into the house when it is remembered; it does not have its own reflection and this can cause confusion. This is not canonically stated anywhere, but according to old beliefs, people perform this ritual. Although absolutely nothing bad will happen if it is not followed.

How to remember relatives if you don’t know their names and whether they were baptized?

Previously, in Rus', marriage for God was considered only a married one, the rest was fornication. Therefore, if you commemorate relatives in an unwed marriage, then you should separately commemorate the relatives of the husband and wife. And if the family is married, then the entire family is remembered. You may not know about your ancestors, but God will reveal it, if we pray and ask, then everything will certainly be revealed. If you don’t know it yourself, it will be revealed through the righteous, the spiritual father, to whom the Lord gives the grace of the Holy Spirit. Even without knowing whether a relative is baptized or not, we must remember him and pray for him, he is still of our blood, our land is Orthodox.

When a person comes to church, begs for four generations forward and three back, even if we don’t know all the names, we order a service “with relatives.” We can beg for our dead, little by little, step by step. There is a prayer from the Miracle Monastery to the Archangel Michael: if a person reads this prayer, that day neither the devil nor an evil person will touch him, nor will his heart be tempted by flattery. If he dies from this life, then hell will not accept his soul. It is very important to read this prayer on September 19 on the day of remembrance of St. Archangel Michael and on November 21 - the Council of the Archangel Michael and other ethereal Heavenly Powers, as well as all Holy Week Great Lent. According to legend, at this time Archangel Michael is on the shore of the valley of fire, and lowers his right wing into the fiery hell and it goes out. Call the deceased by name these two days, and Archangel Michael will lead their souls out of hell. This is not canonically stated, but our faith is living. This monastic revelation gives great hope for the greatest mercy of the Lord our God.

Can I pray in my own words?

You can pray in your own words, but it’s better to write them first. The prayers were compiled by the holy fathers, those who received God's mercy and became saints. And we, having begun to pray, lit the torch of the Holy Spirit in ourselves; we, as Orthodox Christians, have the Holy Spirit in our hearts. You need to pray to God not with your soul, but with your holy spirit, and for this you need to ignite it. You can also learn to read and write by looking for letters in newspapers, but all this will take a long time. And if you learn from the ABC book, it’s much faster and easier. In fact, we are all babies in Jesus Christ, and in order for us to understand the spirit of prayer, the foundations of Orthodoxy, we must rely on the holy fathers.

Why do you pray and go to church, but still get sick?

The Gospel says: “Through tribulations and illnesses you will save your souls.” Orthodoxy treats illnesses this way: weakness can save you from many sins. The Lord gives you strength to bear your weakness throughout your life. It happens that a person does not fully believe in God, but he travels to holy places and the Lord gives him a miracle of healing to strengthen his faith. The body cannot be left untreated – it is a sin. That is, sorrows and illnesses are not given so that we suffer, but so that we come to God. So that we bear repentance. And then we understand what a cross we have in life. After all, God will not give us the cross that we cannot bear; everything is given according to our strength. It’s so amazing what happens, as they say in the Gospel of “spiritual labors.” Some 20, some 40, some 100. Only you need to not only carry out this measure of spiritual deeds, but also acquire them, exaggerate them twice. Not only have what you have, you have it.

“God is fire, unquenchable.” So, if we feel coldness in our hearts, which is from the devil, for the devil is cold, then let us call on the Lord, and He will come and warm our hearts with perfect love not only for Him, but also for our neighbor. Where there is God, there is no evil. Everything that comes from God is peaceful and beneficial and leads a person to humility and self-condemnation. God shows us His love for mankind not only when we do good, but also when we offend and anger Him. How patiently He bears our iniquities! And when he punishes, how compassionately he punishes! The fathers wrote when they were asked: seek the Lord, but do not test where he lives.” Instructions St. Seraphim Sarovsky. We must live in life in such a way that we first acquire the Kingdom of God. And everything else will be added to us. Amen.