Human behavior. Manners of behavior in human life

Greetings to my regular and new readers! Friends, why do we need good manners in our time? Let's try to figure it out.

What are good manners

Good manners are the basis for the behavior of a well-mannered person in society. The way of dealing with other people, the expressions used in speech, tone, intonation, gait, gestures and facial expressions. All this is called manners.

At the heart of all good manners is the concern that one should not disturb another. So that everyone feels good together. We must be able to not interfere with each other. Do not think that good manners are only manners, that is, something superficial. By your behavior you reveal your essence.

“Everything in a person should be beautiful: face, clothes, soul, and thoughts” A.P. Chekhov

You need to cultivate not so much manners as what is expressed in them. This is a caring attitude towards the world, towards society, towards nature, towards animals and birds. You don’t need to memorize hundreds of rules, but remember one thing - the need to respect the people around you.

“Conduct should be elevated, but not bizarre. Thoughts should be subtle, but not petty. The character must be balanced, but not weak-willed. Manners should be well-mannered, but not affected."

Proverbs

• Good manners don't cost anything.
• Politeness opens all doors.
• Don't exalt yourself, don't humiliate others.
• Good word To a person it’s like rain in a drought.
• Accuracy - the politeness of kings.
• By bowing, the head will not break off.
• A kind word also pleases the cat.
• Good silence is better than bad grumbling.
• Keep your tongue on a string.

Love your neighbor as yourself

The first and most important rule behavior in society is politeness, kindness and consideration for others. This rule never changes.

The source of this rule is the Bible: “thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.” Knowing how to behave properly is only part of having good manners. Doing them is what matters.

One of the basic principles modern life is to maintain normal relationships between people. The desire to avoid conflicts. But in life we ​​often have to deal with rudeness, harshness, and disrespect for the personality of another person.

Society has always valued and values ​​modesty and restraint of a person. The ability to control your actions. Communicate carefully and tactfully with other people.

Bad manners are considered habits:

• Speak loudly without mincing words
• Swagger in gestures and behavior
• Sloppiness in clothes
• Rudeness, manifested in outright hostility towards others
• Inability to control your irritation
• Deliberately insulting the dignity of others
• Tactlessness
• Foul language

“Nothing costs us so little or is valued so dearly as politeness.” Every day we interact with big amount people and politeness will not hurt us in this. A successful person is polite in any situation.

And if you don't know what good manners are, that's a reason to worry. But no matter how busy or burdened you are, you still need to remember good manners.

Good manners

• Don't be overly curious.
• Give people appropriate compliments.
• Keep your word.
• Keep secrets.
• Don't raise your voice.
• Know how to apologize.
• Don't swear.
• Hold the door for people.
• Answer questions.
• Give thanks for what they do for you.
• Be hospitable.
• Follow the rules of etiquette.
• Don't grab the last piece of cake.
• When saying goodbye to guests, accompany them to the door.
• Be polite, courteous and accommodating.
• Don't jostle in line.

Why good manners are needed (video)

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Each of us wants to be attractive and charming, to feel comfortable and “at ease” in any society and in any situation. It's not just about appearance, fashionable clothes and grooming. You must be able to behave, know the rules of good manners that give cultured person from afar and in any society.

Rules of good manners: what are they and why are they needed?

Indeed, manners can be good, noble, worthy and, on the contrary, vulgar, vulgar and even stupid. You can give many more definitions, but I think you understand the meaning. A person is judged by his behavior and manners, as well as by his clothes. By the way, the latter can say much more about a person than the company that sewed your dress and designed your handbag.

Good manners are a consequence of education and self-improvement. Unfortunately, not everyone is vaccinated from early childhood in the family and at school. But at any age you can start working on yourself, developing a style of behavior worthy of a confident, intelligent and well-mannered girl.

What/who are good manners for? First of all, you need them yourself. So that you won’t be ashamed not only to eat a hamburger at McDonald’s, but also to go to the theater, to a luxurious restaurant in an unfamiliar company, or to a social event, where paparazzi with cameras are scurrying around and “hot shots” are waiting. Thanks to decent manners, you can get a higher-paid, prestigious position (just like the dress code, in serious companies there are recommendations and prohibitions on “wrong” behavior), win a respectable man, have useful and successful dating in different circles.

Rules of "bad" manners

Behavioral mistakes that are very common among women, regardless of their age, profession, nationality and personal interests, include:

• The desire to attract the attention of others (usually citizens of the opposite sex) in every possible and impossible way. This includes loud laughter, laughter with teeth showing, squealing, speaking in a raised voice, butting into other people’s conversations, unsolicited advice and comments, and banter.
• Excessive mannerism, deliberate effeminacy and refinement. Sticking out your little finger at the table, rolling your eyes for no reason, languid sighs, wagging body parts, gestures and facial expressions invented “for raisins” - all sorts of excesses, in a word.
• On the contrary, ostentatious indifference, indifference, “mega-experience.” Often young girls, who in principle can know little else and have seen little in life, so as not to seem like simpletons and easily impressed people, do their best to pretend that “everyone already knows” and “nothing will surprise them.” They purse their lips, look from under their brows and arrogantly. This is not necessary! All this and something else has nothing to do with the rules of good manners!
• Imitation (explicit, exaggerated) of one of the famous secular, “glamorous” characters. Copying intonation, phrases, accent, gait, etc. Be yourself, you deserve it!

• Naturalness!

Simplicity and naturalness! But - in moderation. Not the kind of simplicity that is “worse than theft,” you understand. Just be yourself and respect yourself. Then you won’t have to hide your complexes by giggling loudly at the movies or walking around in a daze from your inability to start a conversation with the guy you like. If something surprises you, be surprised! If it makes you happy, smile! For yourself, not for others. People around you will immediately notice a sweet girl with a light and clean face, open to the world and emotions.

• Restraint

Pay attention to how members of the British royal family behave, for example. They are always calm, friendly and benevolent. They smile with their eyes, rather than baring their teeth. In this regard, our pop stars, unfortunately, are not an example. Let's try to act like Kate Middleton! Friends will immediately notice and appreciate the change for the better.

• Politeness

Always and towards everyone. Not only to the dean at the institute or the boss at work. But also to colleagues, classmates, neighbors, janitors, the crowd waiting for a train in the subway. Do you know what Renata Litvinova (who is undoubtedly an example of excellent manners) says? A truly beautiful and intelligent person never shows off these qualities. He is unfailingly polite and willing to help. He values ​​himself and, as a result, those around him. And one of the “signs of a real Parisian” is that he says “bonjour” to everyone he meets (that is, he says hello). I hope you convinced me?

• Curiosity

If you don't know something, never hesitate to ask! What utensil to take to an oyster restaurant, how to put on the most fashionable exotic hat, how to get to the library... It’s not a shame or a sin not to know something. A person is given his whole life for self-development and learning.

This is only the basis of social etiquette, the basis that every self-respecting girl should know. Having studied, understood and accepted the rules of good manners, you will do own life more colorful, beautiful and worthy of respect!

To talk about a person’s culture of behavior means to talk about his manners. This word denotes some stable signs that have become habitual in relation to others and even simply constantly repeating movements that find their expression in how to sit down, stand up, walk, talk, etc.

The history of culture knows many documents that contained different rules behavior. These include “Letters to a Son” by the English Lord Chesterfield, written in the 18th century. Along with the naive and funny, they also contain something instructive for people living in our time. “Although... the question of how to behave in society may seem like a mere trifle, it always has important when your goal is to please someone in private life. And I have known many people who, by their clumsiness, immediately inspired such disgust in people that all their virtues were then powerless before them. Good manners win people over, attract them to you, and make them want to love you.”

How often in those days, in many countries, knowledge of the rules of etiquette and the ability to practically apply them played a noticeable role in the fate of a secular person. It happened that the doors of influential houses were closed in front of him only because, while at a dinner party, he showed his awkwardness and inability to handle cutlery.

Speaking about manners, we should not forget about their social and national character.

Paintings and applied arts, fiction and films are a wealth of material that, reflecting various details of people’s lives, also shows their different manners precisely in this regard, social and national.

We remember Pushkin’s Onegin, a representative of the noble class, who had “the happy talent to touch lightly on everything without compulsion in conversation, to remain silent in an important dispute with the learned air of an expert and to arouse the smiles of ladies with the fire of unexpected epigrams.” He “danced the mazurka easily and bowed at ease.” “And the world decided that he was smart and very nice.”

We remember the magnificent Kustodiev merchant's wife who drinks tea from a saucer...

We read about the Japanese and their manner of bowing many times a day to acquaintances and even strangers, depending on different situations.

We know about the British way of holding back their feelings and the Italian way of throwing them out.

And yet it is possible for people of all nations to talk about manners, which can be good or bad.

There are people who are almost opponents of the rules good manners, good manners. They say: “The rules of good manners are just a form that says nothing about the content of a person. There are people who are morally corrupt, empty, masking their mean inner bourgeois with good manners. And therefore, in order not to be mistaken about a person, so as not to mistake the external, feigned for his true essence, it is better to completely discard all these rules. Let every person behave the way he wants, then it will be immediately clear who is good and who is bad.”

Of course, the main thing is - inner essence a person, but no less important are his manners of behavior.

When a person rudely shouts at his subordinates and constantly interrupts his interlocutor, then what is it? Bad person, an egoist and a self-lover who considers only his own opinion and his own comforts? Or is this a person who is not bad at all, but who does not know how to behave, an ill-mannered person? And if a young guy smokes right in a girl’s face, stands lounging in front of her, holding his hands in his pockets, leans his elbows on her shoulder, and instead of a polite invitation to dance, casually says “let’s go,” - what is this? Bad manners or any lack of respect for women?

I think it's both. But many rules of good manners were not written down artificially, were not made up. Throughout human history, they have arisen as necessary requirements life itself. Their appearance was dictated by various considerations of goodwill, concern for others, and respect for them. And many of the good manners that exist today have come to us from time immemorial...

Some of them are based on sanitary and hygienic requirements. For example, the custom of wiping your feet clean when entering a room or even taking off your shoes, as is customary among the Japanese, covering your mouth with a swimming trunk when sneezing and coughing, not sitting at the table unkempt, with with dirty hands etc.

There are manners that are dictated by considerations of convenience and expediency. This explains the rule about how to go up and down stairs. So, when going up the stairs, a man usually walks behind a woman one or two steps, so that right moment, in case she stumbles, he could support her.

When going down the stairs, for the same reason, a man walks one or two steps ahead of a woman.

A number of other manners are based on aesthetic considerations. Thus, it is not recommended to talk loudly and gesticulate excessively, or appear anywhere in an unkempt manner. And even by the way someone stands, sits, holds their arms and legs, one can even judge their respect or disdain for others.

And the most beautiful face, the most impeccable body proportions or beautiful clothes They won’t leave the right impression if they don’t match their demeanor.

A well-mannered person not only takes care of his appearance, but also develops his gait and posture.

One of the most serious and severe critics of his time, Belinsky attached great importance education of beautiful manners and condemned even those people who “can neither enter, nor stand, nor sit in decent society.”

And the great teacher Makarenko made a lot of efforts to cultivate in his communards even the ability to “walk, stand, talk.” At first glance, the expression “be able to walk, stand, talk” may seem simply strange when applied to an adult. But will each of us really dare to cross the butt in the middle in front of others, and by the way, not only because he is too embarrassed and shy, but also because of the lack of the necessary culture of the body, which does not obey him, he does not know how to control it, does not know where to place his hands when walking, how to hold his head, or move his legs in order to feel at ease and free. And in order to develop such a gait, you need to remember some tips. First of all, your step should be commensurate with your height: It looks ridiculous and funny A tall man, a man or woman shuffling his feet, just like a short person taking excessively long strides. An unpleasant impression is made by a person who sways while walking or wobbles his hips. It’s not nice to walk around slouching with your hands in your pockets. And, on the contrary, it is pleasant to look at a person with a straight and free gait, the main quality of which would be naturalness. But if we are talking about a straight gait, then it, of course, has nothing in common with the one about which they say that its owner “swallowed an arshin.”

They say about a person: “He has bad manners.” What exactly does this mean? Manners in general are a way to behave, external shape behavior, treatment of other people, expressions used in speech, tone, intonation, gait, gestures and even facial expressions.

Manners relate to the culture of human behavior and are regulated by etiquette, which, first of all, implies a benevolent and respectful attitude towards all people, regardless of their position and social status. And a prerequisite for communication is delicacy.

At all times, bad manners have been considered to be the habit of speaking loudly, without hesitation in expressions, swagger in gestures, sloppiness in clothing, rudeness, outright hostility towards others, disregard for other people's interests and requests, shameless imposition of one's will and desires on other people, inability to restrain their irritation, deliberate insult to the dignity of people around them, tactlessness, foul language, the use of humiliating nicknames.

In society, modesty and restraint, the ability to control one’s actions, and communicate carefully and tactfully with other people are considered good manners.

What does every person need to know who does not want to amaze others with their inability to behave in society?

There is no need to try hard to hide the fact that you are seeing or tasting something for the first time, fearing that otherwise you will be considered ignorant.

It is worth paying attention to the ability to keep your hands in place, and a well-mannered person will never allow himself to keep his hands in his pockets, much less bite his nails. Also, during a conversation, the legs are not spread wide and are not brought very close to each other. When sitting, do not cross your legs.

When in society, you should not be absent-minded and inattentive to others.

A beautiful gait, posture, and graceful gestures adorn both men and women. In exceptional cases, a person is endowed by nature with what we call grace. More often than not, these qualities are acquired at the cost of considerable effort. Their education is helped by sports, rhythm, and ballet. All this is extremely useful for girls and young girls; parents should remember this.

You should learn to walk gracefully and stand straight. You must be able to easily and gracefully climb the stairs and just as gracefully descend.

You need to be able to sit beautifully. A woman should check in front of a mirror how she looks sitting on a low chair, sofa or stool. Keep your legs together and tilt both shins to one side.

When getting into a car, a woman does not “step” into it, but sits down on the edge of the seat and sucks in some bliss while getting out of the car; on the contrary, she should rise from the seat with her feet already resting on the asphalt.

Many people often don’t know “what to do with their hands.” Women, however, in such cases are saved by a bag that they can “catch onto.” For men, as a last resort, it is acceptable to keep one hand in the jacket pocket, but better time remove it from there from time to time. You can put your hand into your trouser pocket only to get what you need. Women should not keep their hands in their trouser pockets, at least not while talking.

It is unsightly to wave your arms when walking or while walking, or to gesticulate vigorously when talking. Slamming your fist on the table is just vulgar, not to mention it is never an argument. All gestures must be restrained and appropriate.

Don't get too carried away and cross your legs so that the ankle of one of them is on the knee of the other. Keeping your leg on your leg, you don’t need to swing it, or hug your knee with your hands.

You should never sit lounging in a chair or on a sofa, throw your head back on pillows, rock on a chair, sit on the very edge of a chair, armchair, sofa, or swing your knees while talking.

You can sit on the arm of a chair (if you are, of course, absolutely sure that it will support you) only in the house of your closest friends. This is unacceptable if the chair is occupied by a person you barely know.

Any reflex actions must be controlled. Yawning in public is unforgivable. A loud onlooker is completely indecent, not only in the company of unfamiliar people, but also at work and at home. A well-mannered person will generally try to refrain from yawning. As a last resort, you can yawn “inside”, but be careful: it is not always possible to do it unnoticed even in this way.

A cough is usually impossible to cope with. When coughing, you should turn your head slightly to the side and cover your mouth with your hand; if you have a sharp cough, be sure to apply a handkerchief to your mouth.

You need to blow your nose quietly, into a handkerchief, without turning away. In such cases, it is completely unacceptable to make sounds throughout the entire room, but even this unattractive fact is easier to come to terms with than the presence of a person who constantly sniffles.

In the old days, when it was customary to take snuff (which only young girls were not allowed to do), they loved to sneeze heartily, “with taste,” and this often became a source of general amusement. Nowadays, such pleasure should be suppressed if possible by holding a handkerchief to the nose at the moment of sneezing. If the need to sneeze is stronger than you, turn away.

Hiccups are an unpleasant and quite debilitating phenomenon. If hiccups start, immediately go to the kitchen or bathroom and try the following method: tightly pinch your nose with your left hand while holding a glass of water in your right hand. Drink water in small sips, but continuously, without inhaling air. When it becomes completely unbearable, you can sigh: after that, the hiccups should go away. If this does not happen, repeat again with greater endurance. You can also advise swallowing a full tablespoon of powdered sugar. But the first method is more effective. It is worth noting that hiccups sometimes occur as a reaction to alcoholic drinks. Once you are convinced that this happens to you in such cases, try to abstain from alcohol so as not to experience such a nuisance every time.

IN modern world not knowing the rules of etiquette means spitting against the wind, putting yourself in an uncomfortable position. Unfortunately, many perceive adherence to certain norms and rules of communication as something shameful, considering it a sign of highbrow aesthetes who are completely far from real life. However, these people forget that rude and insensitive behavior can cause the same reaction in return.

In fact, the basics of etiquette are quite simple. This is a culture of speech, basic politeness, neat appearance and the ability to manage your emotions. Both apply to both men and women.

1. If you say the phrase: “I invite you” - this means you pay. Another formulation: “Let’s go to a restaurant,” - in this case, everyone pays for themselves, and only if the man himself offers to pay for the woman, can she agree.
2. Never don't come visit without calling. If you are visited without warning, you can afford to wear a robe and curlers. One British lady said that when uninvited guests she always puts on shoes, a hat and takes an umbrella. If a person is pleasant to her, she will exclaim: “Oh, how lucky, I just came!” If it’s unpleasant: “Oh, what a pity, I have to leave.”
3. You shouldn't ask a girl out on a date through and, even more so, to communicate with her like that.
4. Do not place your smartphone on a table in public places. By doing this, you show how important a role your communication device plays in your life and how much you are not interested in the annoying chatter going on around you. At any moment you are ready to leave useless conversations and once again check your Instagram feed, respond to important call or take a break to find out what fifteen new levels have been released to Angry Birds.
5. Man never doesn't wear women's bag . And he takes a woman’s coat only to carry it to the locker room.
6. Shoes should always be clean.
7. If you are walking with someone and your companion greets you with a person, should say hello and you.
8. Many people believe that you can only eat with chopsticks. However, this is not entirely correct. Unlike women, men can eat sushi with their hands.
9. Don't use the phone idle chatter . If you need an intimate conversation, it is better to meet with a friend face to face.
10. If you are insulted, you should not respond with similar rudeness, and, moreover, raise your voice at the person who insulted you. Don't get down to his level. Smile and politely move away from the ill-mannered interlocutor.
11. On the street the man should walk to the left of the lady. Only military personnel can walk on the right and must be ready to perform a military salute.
12. Drivers must remember that in cold blood splashing passers-by with mud is a blatant lack of culture.
13. A woman may not take off her hat and gloves indoors, but not a hat and mittens.
14. Nine things you should keep secret: age, wealth, a gap in the house, prayer, composition of a medicine, love affair, gift, honor and dishonor.
15. When you come to the cinema, theater, or concert, you should go to your seats only facing those sitting. The man goes first.
16. A man always enters a restaurant first, main reason- on this basis, the head waiter has the right to draw conclusions about who is the initiator of coming to the establishment and who will pay. If a large company arrives, the person who invited you to the restaurant enters first and pays. But if a doorman meets visitors at the entrance, the man must let the woman through first. Then he finds empty seats.
17. Never you should not touch a woman without her desire, take her hand, touch her during a conversation, push her or take her by the arm above the elbow, except when you are helping her get on or off a vehicle, or cross the street.
18. If someone calls you impolitely (for example: "Hey, you!"), you should not respond to this call. However, there is no need to lecture or educate others during a short meeting. It is better to teach a lesson in etiquette by example.
19. Golden Rule when using perfume - moderation. If in the evening you smell your perfume, know that everyone else has already suffocated.
20. A well-mannered man will never allow himself to fail to show his due. respect for a woman.
21. In the presence of a woman, a man smokes only with her permission.
22. Whoever you are - a director, an academician, an elderly woman or a schoolboy - when entering the room, say hello first.
23. Maintain confidentiality of correspondence. Parents should not read letters intended for their children. Spouses should do the same towards each other. Anyone who rummages through the pockets of loved ones in search of notes or letters is acting extremely rudely.
24. Don't try to keep up with fashion. It's better to look not fashionable, but good, than bad.
25. If after an apology you are forgiven, you should not return to the offensive issue and ask for forgiveness again, just don't repeat such mistakes.
26. Laughing too loudly, chatting noisily, staring staring at people is offensive.
27. Don't forget to thank your loved ones people, relatives and friends. Their kind deeds and willingness to offer their help are not an obligation, but an expression of feelings worthy of gratitude.

I am very sensitive to the rules of good manners. How to pass a plate. Don't shout from one room to another. Do not open closed door without knocking. Let the lady go first. The purpose of all these countless simple rules- make life better. We cannot live in a state of chronic war with our parents - this is stupid. I take great care of my manners. This is not some kind of abstraction. This is for everyone clear language mutual respect.

American actor Jack Nicholson