Faina Ranevskaya's catchphrases about life. Phrases by Faina Ranevskaya
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Everyone knows Faina Ranevskaya's quotes. In principle, Faina Georgievna’s current fame is largely due to her well-aimed witticisms and aphorisms. Why her acting talent was not appreciated, but Ranevskaya’s statements still remain popular is a mystery to everyone... We have collected the most successful quotes from Ranevskaya.
The best funny aphorisms of Faina Ranevskaya
Sclerosis cannot be cured, but it can be forgotten.
When I die, bury me and write on the monument: “Died of disgust.”
I feel well, but not well.
Why are all women such fools?
Baldness is a slow but progressive transformation of the head into an ass. First in form, and then in content.
Darling, if you want to lose weight, eat naked and in front of the mirror!
Many people complain about their appearance, but no one complains about their brains.
When I retire, I will do absolutely nothing. The first months I will just sit in a rocking chair.
- And then?
- And then I’ll start swinging.
I’m watching this film for the fourth time and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before.
When a jumper's legs hurt, she jumps while sitting.
A smart person knows how to get out of a difficult situation, but a wise person will never get into one.
And whatever nature does to a person.
God created women beautiful so that men would love them, and stupid women so that they would love men.
The queen of the supporting cast and the queen of aphorisms, most of which became popular, lived a long, eventful life, full of drama and loneliness. It is quite possible that it was loneliness that influenced Ranevskaya’s specific sense of humor. Not everyone can tell joke after joke almost their entire life (the actress lived to be 88 years old). Many believe that the actress came up with the jokes on purpose. But Faina Georgievna most likely did not even come up with quotes and aphorisms, but they simply came to her on their own, involuntarily - bang, a new funny statement is ready.
Apt quotes about men, women and love
Ranevskaya performed at one of the literary and theatrical evenings. During the discussion, a girl of about sixteen asked: “Faina Georgievna, what is love?” Ranevskaya thought and said: “I forgot.” And after a second she added: “But I remember that it was something very pleasant.”
- Faina Georgievna, what does a woman look like if she is placed upside down? - For the piggy bank. - And the man? - On the hanger.
Once you get married, then you will understand what happiness is. But it will be too late.
- If a woman tells a man that he is the smartest, it means she understands that she will not find another such fool.
Ranevskaya returns from tour. Conversation in the compartment. One says: “When I return home, I’ll confess everything to my husband.” Second: “Well, you’re brave.” Third: “Well, you’re stupid.” Ranevskaya: “Well, you have a memory.”
Having gone to the zoo because they had nothing to do on tour during the day, the artists saw an unusual deer, on whose head there were four antlers instead of two. The following remarks were heard: - What a strange animal! What kind of trick? “I think,” Ranevskaya said in a deep voice, “that this is just a widower who had the imprudence to marry again.”
One day Faina Ranevskaya asked Anna Akhmatova: “Who is the husband of the sheep?” Akhmatova said: “Sheep, so there’s nothing to envy.”
Lesbianism, homosexuality, masochism, sadism are not perversions, Ranevskaya strictly explains: Actually, there are only two perversions: field hockey and ice ballet.
- You won’t believe it, Faina Georgievna, but no one has ever kissed me except my groom. - Are you bragging, my dear, or are you complaining?
If a woman walks with her head down, she has a lover! If a woman walks with her head held high, she has a lover! If a woman holds her head straight, she has a lover! And in general - if a woman has a head, then she has a lover!
The union of a stupid man and a stupid woman gives birth to a heroine mother. The union of a stupid woman and a smart man gives birth to a single mother. The union of a smart woman and a stupid man gives rise to an ordinary family. The union of a smart man and a smart woman gives rise to easy flirting.
A real man is a man who remembers exactly a woman's birthday and never knows how old she is. A man who never remembers a woman's birthday, but knows exactly how old she is, is her husband.
What I loved most in my life was falling in love.
A scandalous person, a lonely and vulnerable soul, a sarcastic lady with a thick voice, a home-grown philosopher with a cigarette and just an actress who can replace the whole group. This is all Faina Ranevskaya. She has a lot of various awards and titles, and has played more than four dozen roles in film and theater. At the same time, Ranevskaya spoke not at all flatteringly about her filming in films: “The money was eaten up, but the shame remained.” Despite this sarcasm, the images of her film heroines were remembered by the audience forever, which is especially valuable considering that the actress did not have leading roles. The apt phrase about money is just one of the witty phrases that she left behind. In principle, Faina Georgievna’s statements were not very optimistic... Ranevskaya’s quotes are funny and sad at the same time.
Catch phrases of Faina Ranevskaya
How I envy the brainless.
Life goes by without bowing like an angry neighbor.
How life slipped by, I never even heard nightingales sing.
A person’s passport is his misfortune, because a person should always be eighteen, and a passport only reminds you that you cannot live like an eighteen-year-old.
Old age is when it is not bad dreams that bother you, but bad reality.
I still remember decent people... God, how old I am.
The companion of fame is loneliness.
Growing old is boring, but it's the only way to live long.
Optimism is a lack of information.
I was smart enough to live my life stupidly.
When I don't get a role, I feel like a pianist whose hands were cut off.
The brain, the ass and the pills have a soul mate, but from the beginning I am whole.
Life is too short to waste it on diets, greedy men and bad moods.
All my life I have been terribly afraid of stupid people. Especially women. You never know how to talk to them without sinking to their level.
Our people are the most gifted, kind and conscientious. But almost somehow it turns out that constantly, about eighty percent, we are surrounded by idiots, scammers and creepy ladies without dogs. Trouble!
Now, when a person is embarrassed to say that he does not want to die, he says this: he really wants to survive in order to see what happens next. As if, if not for this, he would immediately be ready to lie down in a coffin.
Thoughts are drawn to the beginning of life - which means life is coming to an end.
Old age is when it is not bad dreams that bother you, but bad reality.
Half the lies that are spread about me are not true.
Memories are the wealth of old age.
I don't drink, I don't smoke anymore and I've never cheated on my husband - I guarantee that I never had one.
There is so much love, but there is no one to go to the pharmacy.
When I was 20 years old, I only thought about love. Now I only like to think.
They live together. Like husband and wife. Although no. They live much better.
They had different tastes: she loved men, and he loved women.
77 golden quotes from Faina Ranevskaya
About women
When the Sistine Madonna was brought to Moscow, everyone went to see it. Faina Georgievna overheard a conversation between two officials from the Ministry of Culture. One claimed that the picture did not make an impression on him. Ranevskaya noted:
- This lady has impressed such people for so many centuries that now she herself has the right to choose who she impresses and who she doesn’t!
God created women beautiful so that men could love them, and stupid so that they could love men.
This type of ass is called a “playing ass.”
Which women do you think are more likely to be faithful, brunettes or blondes?”
Without hesitation, she answered: “Grey hair!”
Women, of course, are smarter. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?
Nothing can hold back the pressure of beauty! (Looking at the hole in her skirt)
Critiques are Amazons in menopause.
When a jumper's legs hurt, she jumps while sitting.
You should stay at home with such an ass!
About health
To the question: “Are you sick, Faina Georgievna?” - she usually answered: “No, I just look like that.”
What I do? I feign health.
I feel well, but not well.
Health is when you have pain in a different place every day.
If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.
Sclerosis cannot be cured, but it can be forgotten.
About old age
Old age is when it is not bad dreams that bother you, but bad reality.
I’m like an old palm tree at a train station - no one needs it, but it’s a shame to throw it away.
Old age is just disgusting. I believe it is ignorance of God when he allows people to live to old age.
It’s scary when you’re eighteen inside, when you admire beautiful music, poetry, painting, but it’s time for you, you haven’t managed to do anything, you’re just starting to live!
My God, how life has slipped by, I have never even heard nightingales sing.
Thoughts are drawn to the beginning of life - which means life is coming to an end.
When I die, bury me and write on the monument: “Died of disgust.”
Growing old is boring, but it's the only way to live long.
Old age is a time when the candles on a birthday cake cost more than the cake itself, and half the urine goes for testing.
About work
The money is eaten up, but the shame remains. (About his work in cinema)
Starring in a bad movie is like spitting into eternity.
When I don't get a role, I feel like a pianist whose hands were cut off.
I am Stanislavsky's miscarriage.
I'm a provincial actress. Wherever I served! Only in the city of Vezdesransk she didn’t serve!..
I, by virtue of the talent given to me, squeaked like a mosquito.
I lived with many theaters, but never enjoyed it.
This is the fourth time I’ve watched this film and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before!
Success is the only unforgivable sin towards your loved one.
How wrong it is to believe that there are no irreplaceable actors.
We have been accustomed to single-cell words, scant thoughts, play Ostrovsky after this!
I receive letters: “Help me become an actor.” I answer: “God will help!”
Perpetum male. (About director Yu. Zavadsky)
He will die from the expansion of his fantasy. (About director Yu. Zavadsky)
Pee-wee on the tram is all he did in art.
I don't recognize the word "play". You can play cards, horse races, checkers. You need to live on stage.
The pearls that I will wear in the first act must be real,” demands the capricious young actress.
“Everything will be real,” Ranevskaya reassures her. - That's it: pearls in the first act, and poison in the last.
About myself and life
I've been swimming in the toilet butterfly style my whole life.
I'm a social psychopath. Komsomol member with a paddle. You can touch me on the subway. It’s me standing there, half-bent over, in a bathing cap and copper panties, which all the October kids are trying to get into. I work in the subway as a sculpture. I was polished by so many paws that even the great prostitute Nana could envy me.
The companion of glory is loneliness.
You have to live in such a way that even the bastards remember you.
I was smart enough to live my life stupidly.
Who would know my loneliness? Damn him, this very talent that made me unhappy. But the audience really loves it? What's the matter? Why is it so hard in the theater? There are also Gangsters in the movies.
In Moscow, you can go out into the street dressed as God willing, and no one will pay attention. In Odessa, my cotton dresses cause widespread confusion - this is discussed in hairdressing salons, dental clinics, trams, and private homes. Everyone is upset by my monstrous “stinginess” - because no one believes in poverty.
Loneliness as a condition cannot be treated.
Damn nineteenth century, damned upbringing: I can’t stand when men are sitting.
Life goes by without bowing like an angry neighbor.
On various topics
Spelling errors in a letter are like a bug on a white blouse.
The fairy tale is when he married a frog, and she turned out to be a princess. But reality is when it’s the other way around.
I spoke for a long time and unconvincingly, as if I was talking about the friendship of peoples.
Family replaces everything. Therefore, before you get one, you should think about what is more important to you: everything or family.
Let this be a small gossip that must disappear between us.
I don't see faces, but personal insults.
To help us see how much we are overeating, our stomach is located on the same side as our eyes.
A real man is a man who remembers exactly a woman's birthday and never knows how old she is. A man who never remembers a woman's birthday, but knows exactly how old she is, is her husband.
It has always been unclear to me - people are ashamed of poverty and not ashamed of wealth.
Is my shallow thought clear?
A child from the first grade of school should be taught the science of loneliness.
Tolstoy said that there is no death, but there is love and memory of the heart. The memory of the heart is so painful, it would be better if it did not exist... It would be better to kill the memory forever.
You know, when I saw this bald guy on the armored car, I realized: big troubles awaited us. (About Lenin)
This is not a room. This is a real well. I feel like a bucket that's been dropped in there.
“You won’t believe it, Faina Georgievna, but no one except the groom has kissed me yet.”
- “Are you bragging, my dear, or are you complaining?”
An employee of the Radio Committee N. constantly experienced drama because of her love relationship with a colleague, whose name was Sima: either she cried because of another quarrel, then he abandoned her, then she had an abortion from him. Ranevskaya called her “HeraSima’s victim.”
Ranevskaya was once asked: Why are beautiful women more successful than smart women?
- This is obvious, because there are very few blind men, and stupid ones are a dime a dozen.
How many times does a woman blush in her life?
- Four times: on the wedding night, when she cheats on her husband for the first time, when she takes money for the first time, when she gives money for the first time.
And the man?
- Twice: the first time when the second cannot, the second when the first cannot.
Ranevskaya with all her household and huge luggage arrives at the station.
“It’s a pity that we didn’t take the piano,” says Faina Georgievna.
“It’s not witty,” one of the accompanying people remarks.
“It’s really not witty,” Ranevskaya sighs. - The fact is that
I left all the tickets for the piano.
One day Yuri Zavadsky, artistic director of the Theater. Mossovet, where she worked
Faina Georgievna Ranevskaya (and with whom she had far from
cloudless relationship), shouted in the heat of the moment to the actress: “Faina Georgievna,
you devoured my entire directorial plan with your acting!" "That's what I have
I feel like I’ve eaten enough crap!” Ranevskaya retorted.
— Today I killed 5 flies: two males and three females.
- How did you determine this?
“Two were sitting on a beer bottle, and three were on a mirror,” explained Faina Georgievna.
Some man pushed Ranevskaya walking down the street and cursed her with dirty words. Faina Georgievna told him:
- For a number of reasons, I cannot now answer you in the words you use. But I sincerely hope that when you return home, your mother will jump out of the gateway and bite you properly.
The actors discuss at a troupe meeting a comrade who is accused of homosexuality:
“This is youth molestation, this is a crime.”
My God, an unfortunate country where a person cannot control his ass, Ranevskaya sighed.
“Lesbianism, homosexuality, masochism, sadism are not perversions,” Ranevskaya strictly explains: “Actually, there are only two perversions: field hockey and ice ballet.”
Explaining to someone why the condom is white, Ranevskaya said:
"Because white makes you look fat."
“I don’t drink, I don’t smoke anymore, and I never cheated on my husband because I never had one,” Ranevskaya said, anticipating the journalist’s possible questions.
So, if the journalist is keeping up, it means you have no shortcomings at all?
In general, no, Ranevskaya answered modestly, but with dignity.
And after a short pause she added:
True, I have a big ass and sometimes I lie a little!
Women are a hundred times smarter. Show me at least one lady who suddenly lost her head from slender male legs. There are no such unique individuals of the weaker sex in nature, unlike men.
Homosexuality is nothing. Ballet on slippery ice, or grass hockey - this is a real perversion! – Faina Ranevskaya
In the dressing room, a naked Ranevskaya sat down on an ottoman and lit a cigarette. A male director enters to wish Faina success. Pause. The director was taken aback, to which the actress, after a prolonged silence, said: “I want to apologize for the cigarette smoke and other inconveniences.”
The radio station employee was always preoccupied with her difficult relationship with her lover Sima. He continued to date, but categorically did not make commitments to the girl. They constantly got together and diverged, quarreled over trifles, the girl had abortions, but did not leave Sima. The girl felt sorry for Ranevskaya, affectionately calling her a victim of HeraSima.
Looking at the torn skirt, Ranevskaya said: “Beauty will cut a path for itself. It is impossible to contain the beautiful within the narrow limits of what is permitted!”
Everything will be real. And pearls in the first act, and a capsule with poison in the finale!
Read the continuation of the best aphorisms and quotes of Faina Ranevskaya on the pages:
You have to live in such a way that even the bastards remember you.
Explaining to someone why the condom is white, Ranevskaya said:
Is my shallow thought clear?
Starring in a bad movie is like spitting into eternity.
You know, when I saw this bald guy on the armored car, I realized: big troubles awaited us. (About Lenin)
What I do? I feign health.
The money is eaten up, but the shame remains. (About his work in cinema)
Without hesitation, she answered: “Grey hair!”
I am Stanislavsky's miscarriage.
Old age is just disgusting. I believe it is ignorance of God when he allows people to live to old age.
This is not a room. This is a real well. I feel like a bucket that's been dropped in there.
You should stay at home with such an ass!
But what? When I was young, I had to take off my clothes every time I visited the doctor, but now it’s enough to show my tongue.
My life is terribly sad. And you want me to stick a lilac bush in my ass and do a striptease in front of you.
I’m like an old palm tree at a train station - no one needs it, but it’s a shame to throw it away.
I play the role of eggs: I participate, but do not enter.
If a woman walks with her head down, she has a lover! If a woman walks with her head held high, she has a lover! If a woman holds her head straight, she has a lover! And in general - if a woman has a head, then she has a lover!
If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.
I spoke for a long time and unconvincingly, as if I was talking about the friendship of peoples.
God created women beautiful so that men could love them, and stupid so that they could love men.
It has always been unclear to me that people are ashamed of poverty and not ashamed of wealth.
The fairy tale is when he married a frog, and she turned out to be a princess. But reality is when it’s the other way around.
Lesbianism, homosexuality, masochism, sadism are not perversions, Ranevskaya strictly explains: Actually, there are only two perversions: field hockey and ice ballet.
I, by virtue of the talent given to me, squeaked like a mosquito.
We have been accustomed to single-cell words, scant thoughts, play Ostrovsky after this!
Faina, asks her old friend, do you think medicine is making progress?
In the carriage compartment, an annoying fellow passenger is trying to get Ranevskaya to talk.
A Russian person doesn’t want to do or think anything on an empty stomach, but on a full stomach he cannot.
If I kept a diary, I would write down one phrase every day: What mortal melancholy, that’s all.
A real man is a man who remembers exactly a woman’s birthday and never knows how old she is. A man who never remembers a woman’s birthday, but knows exactly how old she is, is her husband.
Let this be a small gossip that must disappear between us.
Family replaces everything. Therefore, before you get one, you should think about what is more important to you: everything or family.
To help us see how much we are overeating, our stomach is located on the same side as our eyes.
Who would know my loneliness? Damn him, this very talent that made me unhappy. But the audience really loves it? What's the matter? Why is it so hard in the theater? There are also Gangsters in the movies.
I receive letters: Help me become an actor. I answer: God will help!
Tolstoy said that there is no death, but there is love and memory of the heart. The memory of the heart is so painful, it would be better if it did not exist... It would be better to kill the memory forever.
I'm a social psychopath. Komsomol member with a paddle. You can touch me on the subway. It’s me standing there, half-bent over, in a bathing cap and copper panties, which all the October kids are trying to get into. I work in the subway as a sculpture. I was polished by so many paws that even the great prostitute Nana could envy me.
There are no fat women, only small clothes.
Spelling errors in a letter are like a bug on a white blouse.
Come, I’ll show you photographs of unknown people’s artists of the USSR,” Ranevskaya called to her.
I don't recognize the word play. You can play cards, horse races, checkers. You need to live on stage.
Young man! I still remember decent people... God, how old I am!
Thoughts are drawn to the beginning of life - which means life is coming to an end.
Once Ranevskaya, picking up the phone, heard the voice of one of her fans, which was very annoying to her, and said: Sorry, I can’t continue the conversation. I'm speaking from a machine, and there's a big line here.
I've been swimming in the toilet butterfly style my whole life.
Critiques are Amazons in menopause.
On my tombstone write Died of disgust.
I'm a provincial actress. Wherever I served! Only in the city of Vezdesransk she didn’t serve!..
This type of ass is called a playful ass.
Animals, which are few in number, are included in the Red Book, and those that are numerous are included in the Book of Tasty and Healthy Food.
Because white color makes you look fat.
I lived with many theaters, but never enjoyed it.
To the question: Are you sick, Faina Georgievna? - she usually answered: No, I just look like that.
The companion of fame is loneliness.
Loneliness as a condition cannot be treated.
It is known that Ranevskaya allowed herself strong expressions, and when they remarked to her that in the literary Russian language there is no word ass-pa, she replied - strange, there is no word, but there is an ass...
The pearls that I will wear in the first act must be real,” demands the capricious young actress.
Everything will come true, you just have to stop wanting...
Pee-wee on the tram is all he did in art.
Why did God create women so beautiful and so stupid? Ranevskaya was once asked.
Honey, how do I know him? I never call myself!
Life goes by without bowing like an angry neighbor.
Ranevskaya stood in her makeup room completely naked. And she smoked. Suddenly, the managing director of the Mossovet Theater, Valentin Shkolnikov, entered her without knocking. And he froze in shock. Faina Georgievna calmly asked: “Aren’t you shocked that I smoke?”
An employee of the Radio Committee N. constantly experienced drama because of her love relationship with a colleague, whose name was Sima: either she cried because of another quarrel, then he abandoned her, then she had an abortion from him + Ranevskaya called her the victim of HeraSima.
A woman must have two qualities to succeed in life. She should be smart enough to please stupid men, and stupid enough to please smart men, Ranevskaya said.
Perpetum male. (About director Yu. Zavadsky)
How wrong it is to believe that there are no irreplaceable actors.
Here's a cucumber for you. If you want, eat it, if you want, live with it..
Growing old is boring, but it's the only way to live long.
Talent is like a wart - either it is there or it is not.
I feel well, but not well.
This is the fourth time I’ve watched this film and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before!
A child from the first grade of school should be taught the science of loneliness.
I was smart enough to live my life stupidly.
Beautiful so that men can love them, and stupid so that they can love men.
At the same evening, Ranevskaya was asked: Which women, in your opinion, are inclined to be more faithful, brunettes or blondes? Without hesitation she answered: Gray haired!
Which women do you think are more likely to be faithful, brunettes or blondes?”
A lady can now choose who she wants to impress.
In Moscow, you can go out into the street dressed as God willing, and no one will pay attention. In Odessa, my cotton dresses cause widespread confusion - this is discussed in hairdressing salons, dental clinics, trams, and private homes. Everyone is upset by my monstrous “stinginess” - because no one believes in poverty.
People are like candles: they either burn or fuck them.
Sclerosis cannot be cured, but it can be forgotten.
When I don't get a role, I feel like a pianist whose hands were cut off.
A fan asks for Ranevskaya’s home phone number. She:
Success is the only unforgivable sin towards your loved one.
When I die, bury me and write on the monument: “Died of disgust.”
I don't see faces, but personal insults.
He will die from the expansion of his fantasy. (About director Yu. Zavadsky)
Old age is a time when the candles on a birthday cake cost more than the cake itself, and half the urine goes for testing.
Either I’m getting old and stupid, or the youth of today are like nothing else! Previously, I simply didn’t know how to answer their questions, but now I don’t even understand what they are asking.
I was smart enough to live my life stupidly.
Old age is when it is not bad dreams that bother you, but bad reality.
Optimism is a lack of information.
It’s scary when you’re eighteen inside, when you admire beautiful music, poetry, painting, but it’s time for you, you haven’t managed to do anything, you’re just starting to live!
Health is when you have pain in a different place every day.
When a jumper's legs hurt, she jumps while sitting.
This is the fourth time I’ve watched this film and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before.
My God, how life has slipped by, I have never even heard nightingales sing.
Damn nineteenth century, damned upbringing: I can’t stand when men are sitting.
Having seen actress X. perform the role of an Uzbek girl in the play Kahara at the Mossovet branch on Pushkinskaya Street, Ranevskaya exclaimed: I can’t when the whore pretends to be innocent.
Health is when you have pain in a different place every day.
Explaining to someone why the condom is white, Ranevskaya said:
“Because white makes you look fat.”
Women, of course, are smarter. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?
(Looking at the hole in her skirt) Nothing can hold back the pressure of beauty!
Critiques are Amazons in menopause.
Animals, which are few in number, are included in the Red Book, and those that are numerous are included in the Book of Tasty and Healthy Food.
Faina Georgievna, how are you?
- Do you know, my dear, what shit is? So, compared to my life, it’s like jam.
This doctor works wonders! “He literally cured all my illnesses in a minute,” Faina Georgievna remarked sarcastically after visiting the doctor.
- How?
- He said that all my illnesses are not illnesses, but symptoms of approaching old age.
Either I’m getting old and stupid, or the youth of today are like nothing else! - Ranevskaya complained. “Before, I simply didn’t know how to answer their questions, but now I don’t even understand what they are asking.”
Faina Georgievna, what is love?
Ranevskaya thought and said:
- I forgot.
And after a second she added:
- But I remember that it was something very pleasant.
It’s scary when you’re eighteen inside, when you admire beautiful music, poetry, painting, but it’s time for you, you haven’t managed to do anything, you’re just starting to live!
Life is too short to waste it on diets, greedy men and bad moods.
I'm a social psychopath. Komsomol member with a paddle. You can touch me on the subway. It’s me standing there, half-bent over, in a bathing cap and copper panties, which all the October kids are trying to get into. I work in the subway as a sculpture. I was polished by so many paws that even the great prostitute Nana could envy me.
If a woman walks with her head down, she has a lover! If a woman walks with her head held high, she has a lover! If a woman holds her head straight, she has a lover! And in general - if a woman has a head, then she has a lover!
You won’t believe it, Faina Georgievna, but no one has ever kissed me except my groom.
- Are you bragging, my dear, or are you complaining?
Sometimes it seems to me that I am still alive only because I really want to live. Over the course of 53 years, I developed the habit of living in the world. My heart works sluggishly and constantly tries to stop serving me, but I order it: “Fight, damned one, and don’t you dare stop.”
Starring in a bad movie is like spitting into eternity.
This is the fourth time I’ve watched this film and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before!
Some man pushed Ranevskaya walking down the street and cursed her with dirty words. Faina Georgievna told him:
- For a number of reasons, I cannot now answer you in the words you use. But I sincerely hope that when you return home, your mother will jump out of the gateway and bite you properly.
God created women beautiful so that men could love them, and stupid so that they could love men.
- famous and popular Soviet theater and film actress. Today, many critics and journalists consider her one of the greatest Russian actresses of the 20th century. She has about 30 films and countless performances to her credit. In 1992, the English encyclopedia "Who's Who" included her in the list of the ten most outstanding actresses of the 20th century.
But there is one more distinctive feature by which the actress is remembered by millions - these are the sayings, quotes and aphorisms of Ranevskaya. They instantly became winged and spread throughout the country and beyond. And even many years after years, after she passed away, these words do not lose their relevance! 
We present you the best phrases and quotes from Faina Ranevskaya. There are more than a hundred of them:
1. I don’t know how to express strong feelings, although I can express myself strongly.
2. Family replaces everything. Therefore, before you get one, you should think about what is more important to you: everything or family.
3. I noticed that if you don’t eat bread, sugar, fatty meat, or drink beer with fish, your face becomes smaller, but sadder.
4. My favorite disease is scabies: I scratched it and want more. And the most hated thing is hemorrhoids: you can’t see it for yourself, you can’t show it to people.
5. Ladies, don't lose weight. Do you need it? It’s better to be a ruddy donut in old age than a dried-up monkey!
6. Loneliness is when there is a telephone in the house and the alarm clock rings.
7. All my life I have been swimming in the toilet butterfly style.
8. The soul is not an ass, it can’t take a shit.
9. In old age, the main thing is a sense of dignity, and I was deprived of it.
10. I was smart enough to live my life stupidly. I live only by myself - what self-restraint.
11. We have been accustomed to single-cell words, scant thoughts, play Ostrovsky after this!
12. A Russian person does not want to do or think anything on an empty stomach, but on a full stomach he cannot.
13. If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.
14. It’s very hard to be a genius among boogers.
15. Horseradish, based on the opinions of others, ensures a calm and happy life.
16. 85 years with diabetes is not sugar.
17. I wish I had her legs - she had lovely legs! It's a shame - now they'll disappear.
18. The fairy tale is when he married a frog, and she turned out to be a princess. But reality is when it’s the other way around.
19. Tolstoy said that there is no death, but there is love and memory of the heart. The memory of the heart is so painful, it would be better if it did not exist... It would be better to kill the memory forever.
20. Let go of idiots and clowns from your life. The circus must tour.
21. The companion of glory is loneliness.
22. Growing old is boring, but it is the only way to live long.
23. Nothing but despair from the inability to change anything in my destiny.
24. Under the most beautiful peacock tail hides the most ordinary chicken ass. So less pathos, gentlemen.
25. I hate it when a whore pretends to be innocent!
26. Is my shallow thought clear?
27. You must live in such a way that even bastards remember you.
28. Who would know my loneliness? Damn him, this very talent that made me unhappy...
29. All my life I have been terribly afraid of stupid people. Especially women. You never know how to talk to them without sinking to their level.
30. Understand once and for all that the character of your woman is a reflection of your attitude towards her. For those who don’t understand: it’s not her who’s a bitch, it’s you who’s an asshole.
31. I’m like eggs: I participate, but I don’t enter.
32. I hate cynicism for its general availability.
33. Why are all women such fools?
34. Eating alone is as unnatural as shitting together!
35. So that we can see how much we overeat, our stomach is located on the same side as our eyes.
36. Talent is like a wart - either it is there or it is not.
37. What kind of world is this? There are so many idiots around, how much fun they make!
38. It has always been unclear to me - people are ashamed of poverty and not ashamed of wealth.
39. A woman, in order to succeed in life, must have two qualities. She must be smart enough to please stupid men, and stupid enough to please smart men.
41. If a woman tells a man that he is the smartest, it means that she understands that she will not find another such fool.
42. God created women beautiful so that men could love them, and stupid so that they could love men.
43. Life passes without bowing, like an angry neighbor.
44. Pioneers, go to hell.
45. Many people complain about their appearance, but no one complains about their brains.
46. My life is terribly sad... and you want me to stick a lilac bush in my ass and do a striptease in front of you!
47. God seems to love those who suffer. Have you ever seen a happy genius? No, everyone was tossed about by life, like a blade of grass in the wind. Happiness is a concept for average citizens in all respects, and there is no justice here.
48. Loneliness as a condition cannot be treated.
49. Animals, of which there are few, are included in the Red Book, and of which there are many - in the Book of Tasty and Healthy Food.
50. In my old head there are two, at most three, thoughts, but at times they make such a fuss that it seems like there are thousands of them.
51. You cannot learn to be an artist. You can develop your talent, learn to speak, express yourself, but not shock. To do this, you need to be born with the nature of an actor.
52. Do you know what it is to act in films? Imagine that you are washing in a bathhouse, and they take you on a tour there.
53. Success is the only unforgivable sin towards your loved one.
54. Life is a long leap from the ass to the grave.
55. Starring in a bad movie is like spitting into eternity!
56. Darling, if you want to lose weight, eat naked and in front of a mirror.
57. There is such love that it is better to immediately replace it with execution.
58. For a number of reasons, I cannot now answer you in the words you use. But I sincerely hope that when you return home, your mother will jump out of the gateway and bite you properly.
59. I’m like an old palm tree at a train station - no one needs me, but it’s a shame to throw it away.
60. No one except dead leaders wants to tolerate my breasts dangling idly.
61. I spoke for a long time and unconvincingly, as if I was talking about the friendship of peoples.
62. Women are not the weaker sex, the weaker sex are rotten boards.
63. There are no disadvantages for an actress if it is necessary for the role.
64. If I often looked into Gioconda’s eyes, I would go crazy: she knows everything about me, but I know nothing about her.
65. I can't eat meat. It walked, loved, looked... Maybe I'm a psychopath? No, I consider myself a normal psychopath. But I can't eat meat. I keep meat for people.
66. The brain, the ass and the pill have a soul mate. And I was initially whole.
67. A child from the first grade of school should be taught the science of loneliness.
68. Loneliness is a state that you have no one to tell about.
69. When I start writing memoirs, beyond the phrase: “I was born in the family of a poor oil industrialist...”, I can’t do anything.
70. Spelling errors in a letter are like a bug on a white blouse.
71. Sclerosis cannot be cured, but you can forget about it.
72. Thoughts are drawn to the beginning of life - which means life is coming to an end.
73. To gain recognition, one must, even must, die.
74. Lesbianism, homosexuality, masochism, sadism are not perversions. Actually, there are only two perversions: field hockey and ice ballet.
75. Beautiful people shit too.
76. There are people whom you just want to approach and ask if it’s difficult to live without a brain.
77. Just now I looked at the photo for a long time - the dog’s eyes are surprisingly human. I love them, they are smart and kind, but people make them evil.
78. My God, how old I am - I still remember decent people!
79. Women die later than men because they are always late.
80. I do not recognize the word “play”. You can play cards, horse races, checkers. You need to live on stage.
81. I'm tired of pretending to be healthy.
82. Do you know, my dear, what shit is? So it’s like jam compared to my life.
83. They haven’t told me for a long time that I’m a whore. I'm losing popularity.
84. Everything pleasant in this world is either harmful, immoral, or leads to obesity.
85. Life is too short to waste it on diets, greedy men and bad mood.
86. The main thing is to live a living life, and not rummage through the nooks and crannies of memory.
87. My God, an unfortunate country where a person cannot manage his ass.
88. Men are after boobs from the beginning of their days until their end.
89. I hate you. Wherever I go, everyone looks around and says: “Look, it’s Mulya, don’t make me nervous, she’s coming.”
90. You can’t fart happily with a sad ass.
91. Everyone is free to dispose of their ass as they please. So I pick mine up and fuck off.
92. There are no fat women, only small clothes.
93. When I die, bury me and write on the monument: “Died of disgust.”
94. Either I’m getting old and stupid, or today’s youth are like nothing else! Previously, I simply did not know how to answer their questions, but now I don’t even understand what they are asking.
95. I don’t get along with everyday life! Money bothers me both when it is not there and when it is there.
96. I receive letters: “Help me become an actor.” I answer: “God will help!”
97. Cinema is a tramp establishment.
98. How I envy the brainless!
99. Old age is the time when candles on a birthday cake cost more than the cake itself, and half of the urine goes for tests.
100. There are a million fans, but there is no one to go to the pharmacy.
101. There are people in whom God lives; There are people in whom the devil lives; And there are people that live only worms.
102. When a jumper’s legs hurt, she jumps while sitting.
103. Women, of course, are smarter. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?
104. Pee-wee on the tram - everything he did in art.
105. I feel, but not well.
106. Health is when you have pain in a different place every day.
107. His voice sounds like he’s pissing in a zinc bucket.
108. Talent is self-doubt and painful dissatisfaction with oneself and one’s shortcomings, which I have never encountered in mediocrity.
109. I’m watching this film for the fourth time and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before.
110. I am a provincial actress. Wherever I served! Only in the city of Vezdesransk she didn’t serve!..
111. If you have a person to whom you can tell your dreams, you have no right to consider yourself lonely...
112. Damn nineteenth century, damned upbringing: I can’t stand when men are sitting.
113. Oh, these obnoxious journalists! Half the lies they spread about me are not true.
114. People are like candles: they either burn or fuck them.
115. Let this be a small gossip that must disappear between us.
116. He will die from the expansion of his fantasy.
117. I lived with many theaters, but never enjoyed it.
118. Life is a short walk before eternal sleep.
119. Old age is when it is not bad dreams that bother you, but bad reality.
120. It’s better to be a good person who “swears” than a quiet, well-mannered creature.
121. I’m already so old that I’ve begun to forget my own memoirs.
122. At the theater, talented people loved me, untalented people hated me, mongrels bit me and tore me to pieces.
123. March 8th is my personal disaster. With every card with flowers and bows, I tear out a clump of hair from grief that I was not born a man.
124. Everything will come true, you just need to stop wanting...
125. Don’t have a hundred rubles, but have two breasts!
126. Old age is just disgusting. I believe that it is ignorance of God when he allows people to live to old age. Lord, everyone has already left, but I still live. Birman died too, and I never expected this from her. It’s scary when you’re eighteen inside, when you admire beautiful music, poetry, painting, but it’s time for you, you haven’t managed to do anything, you’re just starting to live!
127. A person’s passport is his misfortune, because a person should always be eighteen, but a passport only reminds you that you can live like an eighteen-year-old.
128. The union of a stupid man and a stupid woman gives birth to a heroine mother. The union of a stupid woman and a smart man gives birth to a single mother. The union of a smart woman and a stupid man gives rise to an ordinary family. The union of a smart man and a smart woman gives rise to easy flirting.