The summary of the story is what is interesting. Victor Golyavkin. Funny stories for children about school. What proverbs fit Golyavkin’s story “That’s what’s interesting!”
The organ of smell is the beginning of the respiratory tract – the nose. There is a septum in the nose that divides it into two, almost equal parts. The entrance to the nasal cavity is called the nasal opening. At the junction of the nasal cavity and the pharynx there are choanae.
The nose is the protruding part of the face. Bones and cartilage form the walls of the nasal cavity. The front outer part and tip of the nose contains connective tissue. The nasal septum also includes some cartilage and bone.
The two parts of the nasal cavity widen downward and narrow. Three turbinates are observed in each of the two parts. Infants often also have a fourth shell, which disappears as they grow older. Observed in the nose a complex system channels, passages and cavities.
Human sense of smell and more
A person can distinguish a huge number of smells. However, animals' sense of smell is much better developed. For example, compared to humans, there are a hundred million times more olfactory cells. Some insects also have a very keen sense of smell. For example, butterflies sense odors from a distance of a kilometer.
Action of the olfactory organ
In fact, the nose is much more responsible for breathing than it is for smelling. The superior nasal concha has an area of the olfactory part of the mucous membrane of about 250 square millimeters. The nasal mucosa, responsible for the olfactory process, has a yellowish pink color. The olfactory mucosa contains ciliated epithelium - special cells with cilia. It is these cells that help a person distinguish odors.
In addition, the olfactory organ also performs a number of other functions - physical and immune defense of the body. The sense of smell protects human body from poison and gases. This function is very important for people with certain professions - cooks, perfumers, winemakers. The nose is also directly involved in the formation of sounds.
Olfactory cells are connected to fibers of the olfactory nerve. They capture the aromas of substances and transmit signals to the human brain. There, odors are already beginning to be recognized and classified. The brain recognizes very intense odors even in small quantities and in a short period of time. The sense of smell may depend on factors such as air humidity. The type of odorant also plays an important role. Odors are best distinguished by taking a deep breath.
Gustatory and olfactory sensations have a close connection with each other. This proves, for example, that when a person has a runny nose and begins to smell less well, food begins to seem tasteless. Without the sense of smell, the digestive function is not stimulated. Also, the taste of food is affected not only by the smell, but also by its temperature.
Often, many people do not even think about the fact that they tend to perceive certain smells in their own way. After all, it also happens that one person finds a certain scent pleasant, while another may not like it at all! And this is not just about passions. Of course, people are different, and everyone can have their own taste. But nevertheless, people perceive different aromas in their own way.
The human one is much weaker than many, and yet it is quite sharp. People can recognize thousands of different smells and shades, and some are even able to smell aromas in infinitesimal quantities. It is typical that the sense of smell can be a contradictory sense. It is influenced by various external factors: air circulation, the presence of various other odors, and so on.
So what is the sense of smell? This is the ability to sense and recognize odors (even those that can be dispersed in the air or dissolved in water). Our sense of smell resides in two small aroma-detecting regions. They consist of approximately five million yellowish cells located high in the nasal passages. The human nose is actually the main one responsible for recognizing odors. Thus, taste buds cannot distinguish only four types of taste - sweet, sour, bitter and salty - all other tastes are detected by smell.
What gives a person the sense of smell? Feeling the pleasant smells emanating from your favorite foods, feeling the wonderful aroma of flowers, a person can fully enjoy life. The sense of smell is also a kind of warning system, taking care of safety. For example, a gas leak, spoiled food or fire can cause disaster, but the sense of smell prevents this to a certain extent. Any loss of smell can negatively impact your quality of life. As often happens, as people age, their sense of smell becomes dull. This may be due to the fact that the olfactory fibers, which are located in the olfactory nerve, atrophy. It is noteworthy that infants have the most acute sense of smell. However, after just one year of life, this figure decreases by almost 50%.
Video on the topic
Smell is one of the properties of a substance. Odors spread in the air by diffusion. The human sense of smell is used to detect odorous substances present in the air.
Instructions
The olfactory organ is located in the walls of the upper nasal cavity. The olfactory system includes the mucous membrane covering the upper part of the nasal septum and the superior turbinate. The epithelium covering areas of the mucosa contains neurosensory and supporting epithelial cells. They are located on the basement membrane.
On the thickening of each olfactory (neurosensory) cell there are 10-12 mobile olfactory cilia. There are about 6 million olfactory cells in total (30 thousand cells per square millimeter). With their basal part they become narrow convoluted axons.
Olfactory, located in the loose connective tissue of the olfactory, secrete a secret that moisturizes the integumentary epithelium. This secretion washes the cilia of sensitive olfactory cells and dissolves odorous substances, perceived in this form by the receptor membrane proteins of the cilia.
When interacting with a substance of a certain composition, the olfactory cell sends nerve impulses to the brain. The center of smell is located in the cerebral cortex, in the area of the parahippocampal gyrus. Only volatile or water- or fat-soluble substances can cause irritation to neurosensory cells.
A person can perceive odors only when inhaling. If you bring a smelling object to your nose and hold your breath, you will not smell it. And in order to feel the smell as best as possible, you need to take several short sharp breaths: the air vortices created in this way convey the smell well to the olfactory organ.
Video on the topic
note
Substances that have an odor, as a rule, are able to “settle” on objects and be absorbed. This explains why clothes can often be saturated with odors of smoke, perfume, cooked food, etc. The sense of smell helps a person determine the quality of the air he breathes and protect himself from various harmful impurities.
The human body carries out a lot of processes that are important for life. Breathing is one of these processes. Several organs take part in its implementation, including the nose.
What organs are involved in respiration?
The respiratory organs include several parts of the body. Begins respiratory tract from the nasal cavity and external nose, and then the process continues to be carried out by the pharynx, larynx, trachea, bronchi and lungs. All of these organs, except the lungs, are airways. It is through these pathways that air enters the lungs. The pulmonary parenchyma together with the lungs form respiratory part, which exchanges gases between air and blood.
The structure of the external nose
The external nose has the shape of a triangular pyramid. Paired nasal bones make up its bony part. Along the midline of the nose, these bones are connected, thereby forming the dorsum of the nose. The frontal processes of the maxilla are located lateral to the nose. These processes become the lateral surfaces of the external nose. At the bottom of the nose, the bones form pear-shaped openings. At the edges of the holes, cartilaginous formations can be observed: the upper rib of the quadrangular cartilage and paired, lateral, accessory and alar cartilages. The nasal process of the frontal bone forms the bridge of the nose. Each formation is covered with a layer of skin. We can say that the nose consists of two nostrils, the wings of the nose, the nasal septum and the lower edge of the pyriform opening.
Nasal cavity
The skin covers not only the outside of the nose, but also its insides. Exactly inner part the nose is called the nasal cavity. It is divided into two halves by a partition. At the bottom of the cavity there are horizontal processes of the upper jaw and palatine bone. In addition, these processes are the basis of the hard palate.
Respiratory area of the nose
The respiratory area of the nose is a mucous membrane. This membrane continues in the paranasal sinuses. The mucous membrane is covered with cavernous cavernous tissue and mucous glands. Mucous glands are usually located in the lower part of the nasal concha. If the corpora cavernosa are filled with blood, the thickness of the mucous membrane can reach up to 4-5 millimeters. The shell may swell quite strongly. Sometimes it even completely closes the nasal passage. On the nasal mucosa there is ciliated epithelium. Among its cells are secretory cells, shaped like glasses.
Congenital anomalies of the respiratory development organs
Disorders of nasal development are quite rare. These include complete or partial developmental disorders, excess growth of parts of the nose, and incorrect placement of parts of the nose. In the world there were such nasal defects as cleft nose, double nose, fistulas or cysts of the nose, malformations of the nasal turbinates and other disorders.
Video on the topic
Whose nose is better? — Vitaly Bianki's story about birds. The main character is Mukholov-Tonkonos, who complained about his difficult life. It all ended with main character got to lunch with Hooknose Hawk. The work is included in the reading list after 2nd grade in the “Perspective” program. We invite you to familiarize yourself with the text of the story by listening to it or reading the text with pictures. We also suggest that you familiarize yourself with the filling option reader's diary for this work.
Listen to the story “Whose nose is better?”
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Read the text of the story “Whose nose is better?”
Mukholov-Tonkonos sat on a branch and looked around.
As soon as a fly or butterfly flies past, he will immediately chase it, catch it and swallow it. 
Then he sits on a branch again and again waits and looks out. He saw a grosbeak nearby and began to complain to him about his bitter life.
“It’s very tiring for me,” he says, “to get food for myself.” You work and work all day, you know neither rest nor peace, but you live from hand to mouth. Think for yourself: how many midges you need to catch to be full. But I can’t peck the grains: my nose is too thin.
- Yes, your nose is no good! - said Grosbeak. - It’s my business! I bite through the cherry pit like a shell. You sit still and peck berries. I wish you had a nose like that.
Grosbeak pecking a bone Klest the Crusader heard him and said:
“You, Grosbeak, have a very simple nose, like a Sparrow, only thicker.” Look how intricate my nose is! I tell them all year round I husk the seeds from the cones. Like this.
The crossbill deftly picked up the scales of a fir cone with its crooked nose and took out a seed.
“That’s right,” said Mukholov, “your nose is more cunning!”
“You don’t understand anything about noses!” - Snipe Weevil wheezed from the swamp.
A good nose should be straight and long so that it is convenient for them to get boogers out of the mud. Look at my nose!
The birds looked down, and there a nose sticking out of the reeds, long, like a pencil, and thin, like a match.
“Oh,” said Mukholov, “I wish I had a nose like that!”
Two sandpipers - Avocyst and Curlew Mukholov looked and saw two wonderful noses in front of him: one looked up, the other looked down, and both were thin as a needle.
“My nose looks up,” said Shilonos, “so that it can snag any small living creatures in the water.”
“And that’s why my nose looks down,” said Curlew the Serponos, “so that they can drag worms and bugs out of the grass.”
“Well,” said Mukholov, “you couldn’t imagine anything better than your noses!”
- Yes, apparently you haven’t even seen real noses! - Shirokonos grunted from the puddle. Look what real noses there are: wow!
All the birds burst out laughing, right in Broadnose’s nose!
- What a shovel!
- But it’s so convenient for them to lye water! - Shirokonos said annoyedly and quickly tumbled his head into the puddle again.
- Pay attention to my nose! - whispered from the tree the modest, gray-faced Nightjar. “Mine is tiny, but it serves me as both a net and a throat.” Midges, mosquitoes, butterflies in droves fall into my mesh throat when I fly above the ground at night.
- How is this possible? - Mukholov was surprised.
That's how! - said the Net-billed Nightjar, and when his mouth opened, all the birds shied away from him.
- What a lucky guy! - said Mukholov. “I grab one midge at a time, and he catches hundreds of them at once!”
“Yes,” the birds agreed, “you won’t get lost with such a mouth!”
- Hey you, small fry! - Pelican-Bag-Bag shouted to them from the lake.
- We caught a midge and are glad. And there is no one to put something aside for himself in reserve. I’ll catch a fish and put it in my bag, I’ll catch it again and put it away again.
The fat Pelican raised his nose, and under his nose there was a bag full of fish.
- That's the nose! - exclaimed Mukholov, - a whole pantry! It couldn't be more convenient!
“You probably haven’t seen my nose yet,” said the Woodpecker. - Look, admire it!
- Why admire him? - asked Mukholov. — The most ordinary nose: straight, not very long, without a mesh and without a bag. It takes a long time to get food for lunch with this nose, and don’t even think about supplies.
“You can’t just think about food,” said the Woodpecker. — We, forest workers, need to have tools with us for carpentry and carpentry work. We not only get food for ourselves, but also hollow out trees: we set up a home for ourselves and for other birds. What a chisel I have!
- Miracles! - said Mukholov. “I saw so many noses today, but I can’t decide which one is better.” Here's what, brothers: you all stand next to each other. I will look at you and choose the best nose.
Lined up in front of the Thin-nosed Flycatcher were Grosbeak, Crusader, Weevil, Shilonos, Broad-nosed, Net-nosed, Sack-nosed and Dolbonos.
But then a gray Hook-nosed Hawk fell from above, grabbed Mukholov and took him away for lunch.
And the rest of the birds scattered in different directions in fright.
So it remains unknown whose nose is better.
Reader's diary
The main character Mukholov-Tonkonos, having met the grosbeak, began to complain about his difficult life. He began to brag about what a wonderful nose he had. Then other birds picked him up and each said that hers was the best. It all ended with the main character going to dinner with Hook-Nose Hawk without being able to determine whose nose was better.
the main idea
The main thing in the story is not just to show the beauty and diversity of nature, to reveal the secrets of the way of life of birds, but to show people that you need to be able to be happy with what you have and not be forever dissatisfied.
Main characters
- Two sandpipers - Avocyst and Curlew
Who does the nose help?
- Husks seeds from cones all year round - Klest-Krestonos
- catches a fish and puts it in a bag - Pelican-Bag-Bag
- arranges a home for himself and other birds - Woodpecker
- picks up small living creatures - Shilonos
- bites the seeds, pecks the berries - Grosbeak
- catches mosquitoes and butterflies in a mesh throat - Nightjar-Nose-Nose
- pulls boogers out of the mud - Snipe-Weevil
Natalia Bezverkhova
Lesson summary “The nose in human life”
Target: Give children the idea that a nose is necessary person for life and health(the nose breathes, catches odors). Give children the concept of preventing colds. Develop the ability to take care of your health, instill healthy lifestyle skills.
Progress of the conversation
They come to visit children "Bunny" And "Stepashka".
The bunny asks the children to guess a riddle.
Here is a mountain, and the mountain has two deep holes.
In these burrows the air wanders, then comes in, then comes out.
The children think, but Stepashka "is reading" poem.
There are straight noses, and there are snub noses.
I really need a nose, since it has grown to my face.
Children's answers: This is a poem and a riddle about the nose.
Conversation - reasoning “Why do we need a nose?”.
The bunny asks the children. Why do we need a nose? (children think) The bunny continues to talk. Only suffering with him. You'll fall down the hill and break your nose. Then he sneezes. After all, we can breathe through our mouths. So?
Stepashka: Yes, but not so. The nose is no less important to us than other organs. And it is advisable to breathe through your nose, not your mouth.
Bunny: Why?
Stepashka: But listen, what I know about the nose now, I’ll tell you and the children about it.
Entering the nose, the air passes through two corridors, the walls of which are covered with hairs. The hairs act as guards. They do not allow dust particles to enter the nose. The air then passes through the labyrinth. (Show a cross-sectional drawing of the nose).
The walls of the labyrinth are covered with a sticky liquid - mucus. Microbes stick to it and try to get into our body along with the air. Passing through the labyrinth, the air warms up and enters the lungs already warm and purified of microbes. When there is a lot of mucus with adhering microbes, we sneeze. And the nose clears.
The nose is also the first to inform the brain about air that is unpleasant to breathe. We can enjoy the wonderful smell of flowers.
Bunny: Stepashka, you told it so interestingly that I want to listen to more.
Stepashka: I'm glad you liked it and I'm ready to tell you a story "How to find a path" V. Berestova.
The guys went to visit their grandfather, a forester. We went and got lost. They began to turn to different animals and ask for directions. The squirrel advised us to jump from one tree to another. And here is the conversation that took place with the hare.
The hare is jumping. The guys sang to him too song:
Bunny, bunny, tell me. Bunny, bunny, show me how to find the path to grandpa’s lodge.
To the lodge? - asked the hare - nothing could be simpler. At first it will smell like mushrooms. So? Then - hare cabbage. So? Then it smells like a fox hole. So? Skip this smell to the left or right. So? When it is left behind, smell it like this and you will smell the smoke. Jump straight onto it without turning anywhere. This is grandfather - the forester is setting the samovar.
Stepashka: Bunny, do you think the guys will be able to find the path based on this description? (children's answers).
Stepashka: And also, Bunny, I want to remind you about the rules of hygiene and safety.
*You should not pick your nose with your finger, much less with a sharp object.
*You should not put sharp objects into your nose.
*When you have a runny nose, you should not blow your nose too much or suck in mucus. This can lead to middle ear disease.
*You cannot use someone else’s handkerchief. The handkerchief must be personal
Stepashka and Bunny: Let's learn to breathe correctly and teach this to children.
Bunny: I agree Stepashka.
*Get ready for the first exercise: We take ten inhalations and exhalations through the right and left nostrils, alternately closing them with the thumb and forefinger.
*Second exercise: We take a calm breath, while exhaling, simultaneously tapping the wings of the nose and pronounce the syllables "ba-bo-bu".
*Third exercise: Clench your fingers into a fist. While inhaling, open your mouth wide and, as far as possible, stick out your tongue, trying to reach the chin with its tip; exhale, unclench your fingers.
Bunny: Oh, Stepashka, these are difficult exercises, but I think that we will learn to do them together with the children correctly.
Stepashka: Bunny, what about the magic thread on your neck, and also some interesting toy with a smell.
Bunny: This is a Stepashka toy, it’s called a kinder surprise, and it also has holes in it that smell like onions or garlic. This must be done to avoid getting a runny nose or other colds. Look Stepashka, you will see such beautiful threads on all the children in the group.
Bunny: Guys, let's give Stepashka the same kinder - a surprise with the smell of onions or garlic so that he doesn't get sick.
Stepashka thanks the children for the gift.
Bunny "is reading" poem about the nose.
The nose should not be cold
We all need a healthy nose.
So that sleep comes when
Sleep quietly with your mouth closed.
Bottom line: Bunny and Stepashka ask the children why person's nose?
How does a bunny's nose differ from a boy's nose?
What should you not do with your nose so as not to damage it?
What you need to do to keep your nose healthy.
That's what's interesting!
When Goga started going to first grade, he knew only two letters: O - circle and T - hammer. That's all. I didn't know any other letters. And I couldn't read.
Grandmother tried to teach him, but he immediately came up with a trick:
Now, now, grandma, I’ll wash the dishes for you.
And he immediately ran to the kitchen to wash the dishes. And the old grandmother forgot about studying and even bought him gifts for helping him with the housework. And Gogin’s parents were on a long business trip and relied on their grandmother. And of course, they didn’t know that their son still hadn’t learned to read. But Goga often washed the floor and dishes, went to buy bread, and his grandmother praised him in every possible way in letters to his parents. And I read it aloud to him. And Goga, sitting comfortably on the sofa, listened with eyes closed. “Why should I learn to read,” he reasoned, “if my grandmother reads aloud to me.” He didn't even try.
And in class he dodged as best he could.
The teacher tells him:
Read it here.
He pretended to read, and he himself told from memory what his grandmother read to him.
The teacher stopped him.
To the laughter of the class, he said:
Do you want me I'd better close it a window to prevent it from blowing.
I'm so dizzy that I'm probably going to fall...
He pretended so skillfully that one day his teacher sent him to the doctor.
The doctor asked:
How is your health?
It’s bad,” Goga said.
What hurts?
Well, go to class then.
Because nothing hurts you.
How do you know?
How do you know that? - the doctor laughed.
And he slightly pushed Goga towards the exit.
Goga never pretended to be sick again, but continued to prevaricate.
And the efforts of my classmates came to nothing. First, Masha, an excellent student, was assigned to him.
Let’s study seriously,” Masha told him.
When? - asked Goga.
Yeah right now.
“I’ll come now,” Goga said. And he left and did not return.
Then Grisha, an excellent student, was assigned to him. They stayed in the classroom. But as soon as Grisha opened the primer, Goga reached under the desk.
Where are you going? - Grisha asked.
“Come here,” Goga called.
And here no one will interfere with us.
Yah you! - Grisha, of course, was offended and left immediately.
No one else was assigned to him.
As time went. He was dodging.
Gogin's parents arrived and found that their son could not read a single line. The father grabbed his head, and the mother grabbed the book she had brought for her child.
Now every evening,” she said, “I will read this wonderful book aloud to my son.
Grandmother said:
Yes, yes, I also read interesting books aloud to Gogochka every evening.
But the father said:
It was really in vain that you did this. Our Gogochka has become so lazy that he cannot read a single line. I ask everyone to leave for the meeting.
And dad, along with grandmother and mom, left for a meeting. And Goga was at first worried about the meeting, and then calmed down when his mother began to read to him from a new book. And he even shook his legs with pleasure and almost spat on the carpet.
But he didn't know what kind of meeting it was! What was decided there!
So, mom read him a page and a half after the meeting. And he, swinging his legs, naively imagined that this would continue to happen. But when mom stopped really interesting place, he became worried again.
And when she handed him the book, he became even more worried.
He immediately suggested:
Let me wash the dishes for you, mommy.
And he ran to wash the dishes.
He ran to his father.
His father sternly told him never to make such requests to him again.
He thrust the book to his grandmother, but she yawned and dropped it from her hands. He picked up the book from the floor and gave it to his grandmother again. But she dropped it from her hands again. No, she had never fallen asleep so quickly in her chair before! “Is she really asleep,” thought Goga, “or was she instructed at the meeting to pretend?” Goga tugged at her, shook her, but the grandmother did not even think about waking up.
In despair, he sat down on the floor and began to look at the pictures. But from the pictures it was difficult to understand what was happening there next.
He brought the book to class. But his classmates refused to read to him. Not only that: Masha immediately left, and Grisha defiantly reached under the desk.
Goga pestered the high school student, but he flicked him on the nose and laughed.
That's what a home meeting is all about!
This is what the public means!
He soon read the entire book and many other books, but out of habit he never forgot to go buy bread, wash the floor or wash the dishes.
That's what's interesting!
Transcript
1 Victor Golyavkin Funny stories for children about school 1
2 Victor Golyavkin. NOTEBOOKS IN THE RAIN During recess, Marik says to me: Let's run away from class. Look how nice it is outside! What if Aunt Dasha is late with the briefcases? You need to throw the briefcases out the window. We looked out the window near the dry wall, and a little further away there was a huge puddle. Don't throw your briefcases into a puddle! We took the belts off the trousers, tied them together and carefully lowered the briefcases onto them. At this time the bell rang. The teacher entered. I had to sit down. The lesson has begun. The rain poured outside the window. Marik writes me a note: “Our notebooks are missing.” I answer him: “Our notebooks are missing.” He writes to me, “What are we going to do?” I answer him, “What are we going to do?” Suddenly they call me to the board. I can’t, I say, I have to go to the board. “How can I walk without a belt, I think?” Go, go, I’ll help you, says the teacher. You don't need to help me. Are you ill by any chance? I say you are ill. What about homework? Good with homework. The teacher comes up to me. Well, show me your notebook. I'm silent. What's going on with you? I'm silent. You'll have to give it a two. He opens the magazine and gives me a bad mark, and I think about my notebook, which is now getting wet in the rain. The teacher gave me a bad mark and calmly said: You’re kind of strange today... 2
3 Victor Golyavkin. NO LUCK One day I come home from school. That day I just got a bad grade. I walk around the room and sing. I sing and sing so that no one thinks that I got a bad mark. Otherwise they will ask, “Why are you gloomy, why are you thoughtful?” Father says: Why is he singing like that? And mom says: He’s probably in a cheerful mood, so he’s singing. The father says: He probably got an A, that’s what’s fun for the man. It's always fun when you do something good. When I heard this, I sang even louder. Then the father says: Okay, Vovka, please your father, show him the diary. Then I immediately stopped singing. For what? I ask. I see, says father, you really want to show me the diary. He takes the diary from me, sees a deuce there and says: Amazing, he got a deuce and is singing! What, is he crazy? Come on, Vova, come here! Do you happen to have a fever? I say, I don’t have any temperature... My father spread his hands and said: Then you need to be punished for this singing... That’s how unlucky I am! Victor Golyavkin. THIS IS WHAT IS INTERESTING When Goga started going to first grade, he knew only two letters O circle and T hammer. That's all. I didn't know any other letters. And he couldn’t read. Grandma tried to teach him, but he immediately came up with a trick. Now, now, grandma, I’ll wash the dishes for you. And he immediately ran to the kitchen to wash the dishes. And the old grandmother forgot about studying and even bought him gifts for helping him with the housework. And Gogin’s parents were on a long business trip and relied on their grandmother. And of course, they didn’t know that their son still hadn’t learned to read. But Goga often washed the floor and dishes, went to buy bread, and his grandmother praised him in every possible way in letters to his parents. And I read it aloud to him. And Goga, sitting comfortably on the sofa, listened with his eyes closed. “Why should I learn to read,” he reasoned, if my grandmother reads aloud to me.” He didn't even try. And in class he dodged as best he could. The teacher said to him: Read it here. He pretended to read, and he himself told from memory what his grandmother read to him. The teacher stopped him. To the laughter of the class, he said: If you want, I’d better close the window so that it doesn’t blow. Or I’m so dizzy that I’m probably going to fall... He pretended so skillfully that one day his teacher sent him to the doctor. The doctor asked How is your health? It’s bad, Goga said. 3
4 What hurts? All. Well, then go to class. Why? Because nothing hurts you. How do you know? How do you know that? the doctor laughed. And he slightly pushed Goga towards the exit. Goga never pretended to be sick again, but continued to prevaricate. And the efforts of my classmates came to nothing. At first, Masha, an excellent student, was assigned to him. Let's study seriously, Masha told him. When? asked Goga. Yeah right now. “I’ll come now,” Goga said. And he left and did not return. Then Grisha, an excellent student, was assigned to him. They stayed in the classroom. But as soon as Grisha opened the primer, Goga reached under the desk. Where are you going? Grisha asked. Come here, called Gog. For what? And here no one will interfere with us. Yah you! Grisha, of course, was offended and left immediately. No one else was assigned to him. As time went. He was dodging. Gogin's parents arrived and found that their son could not read a single line. The father grabbed his head, and the mother grabbed the book she had brought for her child. Now every evening, she said, I will read this wonderful book aloud to my son. Grandma said: Yes, yes, I also read interesting books aloud to Gogochka every evening. But the father said: It was in vain that you did this. Our Gogochka has become so lazy that he cannot read a single line. I ask everyone to leave for the meeting. And dad, along with grandmother and mom, left for a meeting. And Goga was at first worried about the meeting, and then calmed down when his mother began to read to him from a new book. And he even shook his legs with pleasure and almost spat on the carpet. But he didn't know what kind of meeting it was! What was decided there! So, mom read him a page and a half after the meeting. And he, swinging his legs, naively imagined that this would continue to happen. But when mom stopped at the most interesting place, he became worried again. And when she handed him the book, he became even more worried. And then read for yourself, his mother told him. He immediately suggested: Let me wash the dishes for you, mommy. And he ran to wash the dishes. But even after that, my mother refused to read. He ran to his father. His father strictly told him never to make such requests to him again. He thrust the book to his grandmother, but she yawned and dropped it from her hands. He picked up the book from the floor and gave it to his grandmother again. But she dropped it from her hands again. No, she had never fallen asleep so quickly in her chair before! “Is Goga really sleeping, or was she instructed to pretend at the meeting?” Goga tugged at her, shook her, but her grandmother didn’t even think about waking up. And he so wanted to know what was happening next in this book! 4
5 In despair, he sat down on the floor and began to look at the pictures. But from the pictures it was difficult to understand what was happening there next. He brought the book to class. But his classmates refused to read to him. Moreover, Masha immediately left, and Grisha defiantly reached under the desk. Goga pestered the high school student, but he flicked him on the nose and laughed. What to do next? After all, he will never know what is written next in the book until he reads it. All that remained was to study. Read for yourself. That's what a home meeting is all about! This is what the public means! He soon read the entire book and many other books, but out of habit he never forgot to go buy bread, wash the floor or wash the dishes. That's what's interesting! Victor Golyavkin. IN THE CLOSET Before class, I climbed into the closet. I wanted to meow from the closet. They'll think it's a cat, but it's me. I was sitting in the closet, waiting for the lesson to start, and didn’t notice how I fell asleep. I wake up quietly in the classroom. I look through the crack and there is no one there. I pushed the door, but it was closed. So, I slept through the entire lesson. Everyone went home, and they locked me in the closet. It's stuffy in the closet and dark as night. I became scared, I started shouting: E-uh! I'm in the closet! Help! I listened to the silence all around. Me again: Oh! Comrades! I'm sitting in the closet! I hear someone's steps. Someone is coming. Who's bawling here? I immediately recognized Aunt Nyusha, the cleaning lady. I was delighted and shouted: Aunt Nyusha, I’m here! Where are you, dear? I'm in the closet! In the closet! How did you, my dear, get there? I'm in the closet, grandma! So I hear that you are in the closet. So what do you want? I was locked in a closet. Oh, grandma! Aunt Nyusha left. Silence again. She probably went to get the key. Steps again. I hear the voice of Pal Palych. Pal Palych is our head teacher... Pal Palych knocked on the closet with his finger. There is no one there, said Pal Palych. Why not? Yes, said Aunt Nyusha. Well, where did he say Pal Palych and knocked on the closet again. I was afraid that everyone would leave, I would stay in the closet, and with all my might I shouted I’m here! Who are you? asked Pal Palych. I... Tsypkin... 5
6 Why did you climb there, Tsypkin? I was locked... I didn't get in... Hm... He was locked! But he didn’t get in! You've seen what wizards there are in our school! They don't get into the closet when they are locked in the closet. Miracles don’t happen, do you hear, Tsypkin? I hear you... How long have you been sitting there? asked Pal Palych. I don’t know... Find the key, said Pal Palych. Fast. Aunt Nyusha went to get the key, but Pal Palych stayed behind. He sat down on a chair nearby and began to wait. I saw his face through the crack. He was very angry. He lit a cigarette and said Well! This is what prank leads to. Tell me honestly, why are you in the closet? I really wanted to disappear from the closet. They open the closet, and I’m not there. It was as if I had never been there. People will ask me, “Were you in the closet?” I will say “I wasn’t!” They will say to me, “Who was there?” I will say “I don’t know!” But this only happens in fairy tales! Surely tomorrow they will call your mother... Your son, they will say, climbed into the closet, slept through all the lessons there, and all that... as if it’s comfortable for me to sleep here! My legs ache, my back hurts. One torment! What was I supposed to answer? I was silent. Are you alive there? asked Pal Palych. Alive... Well, sit down, they'll open it soon... I'm sitting... So... said Pal Palych. So you will answer me why you climbed into this closet. I was silent. Suddenly I heard the director's voice. He walked down the corridor Who? Tsypkin? In the closet? Why? I wanted to disappear again. The director asked: Tsypkin, are you? I sighed heavily. I simply couldn't answer anymore. Aunt Nyusha said: The class leader took the key away. Break down the door, the director said. I felt the door being broken down, the closet shook, and I hit my forehead painfully. I was afraid that the cabinet would fall, and I cried. I pressed my hands against the walls of the closet, and when the door gave way and opened, I continued to stand in the same way. Well, come out, said the director. And tell us what that means. I didn't move. I was scared. Why is he standing? asked the director. I was pulled out of the closet. I was silent the whole time. I didn't know what to say. I just wanted to meow. But how would I say this... 6
7 Victor Golyavkin. About scrap metal, Tolik was carrying an old, rusty bed along the street. And Masha was carrying an old rusty anchor. They take it to school because it's scrap metal. Tolik says: There is more weight in my bed than in your stupid anchor. So, I collected more than you. Masha says: This is still unknown. My anchor is all full, and your bed is inflated. Tolik even stopped. How is that inflated? It’s very simple: my anchor is solid, but your bed is not solid. What kind of bed do I have? says Tolik. Masha also stopped and said: Your bed is inflated. What nonsense! says Tolik. How can it be that she is a ball or something? She is not a ball, says Masha, but nevertheless she is inflated. These glands, they are empty inside. And my anchor is full inside. He's not pouty, if you must know! Your anchor is rusty! says Tolik. Your bed is inflated! says Masha. From the broken ship is your anchor! says Tolik. At that time, an old woman walked past. She was carrying bananas in her bag. The old lady with bananas says: Put this anchor on the bed. And carry it all together. But Tolik said: This is my scrap metal. And Masha said: This is my scrap metal. Ah, that's it! said the old lady. I didn't know this. And she left. And Tolik and Masha were first surprised why the old lady said that, and then they were surprised why they said that to the old lady, because it doesn’t matter whose bed it is or whose anchor it is. Because it's for everyone. And they did as the old woman with the bananas told them. 7
8 Victor Golyavkin. We are playing in Antarctica. Mom left home somewhere. And we were left alone. And we got bored. We turned the table over. They pulled a blanket over the table legs. And it turned out to be a tent. It's like we're in Antarctica. Where our dad is now. Vitka and I climbed into the tent. We were very pleased that Vitka and I were sitting in a tent, although not in Antarctica, but as if in Antarctica, with ice and wind all around us. But we were tired of sitting in a tent. Vitka said: Winterers don’t sit like that in the tent all the time. They're probably doing something. Surely, I said, they catch whales, seals and do something else. Of course they don't sit like that all the time! Suddenly I saw our cat. I shouted: Here is a seal! Hooray! Vitka shouted. Grab him! He also saw a cat. The cat was walking towards us. Then she stopped. She looked at us carefully. And she ran back. She didn't want to be a seal. She wanted to be a cat. I understood this immediately. But what could we do! There was nothing we could do. We need to catch someone! I ran, tripped, fell, got up, but the cat was nowhere to be found. She is here! Vitka yelled. Run here! Vitka’s legs were sticking out from under the bed. I crawled under the bed. It was dark and dusty there. But the cat was not there. I'm getting out, I said. There is no cat here. Here she is, Vitka argued. I saw her run here. I came out all dusty and started sneezing. Vitka kept fiddling around under the bed. She’s there, Vitka kept repeating. Well, so be it, I said. I won't go there. I sat there for an hour. I'm over it. Just think! Vitka said. And I?! I climb here more than you. Finally Vitka also got out. Here she is! I shouted. The cat was sitting on the bed. I almost grabbed her by the tail, but Vitka pushed me, the cat jumped onto the closet! Try to get it out of the closet! What kind of seal is this, I said. Can a seal sit on a closet? Let it be a penguin, said Vitka. It's like he's sitting on an ice floe. Let's whistle and shout. He will then get scared. And he will jump from the closet. This time we'll catch the penguin. We started yelling and whistling as loud as we could. I really don't know how to whistle. Only Vitka whistled. But I screamed at the top of my lungs. Almost hoarse. But the penguin doesn’t seem to hear. A very cunning penguin. He hides there and sits. Come on, I say, let's throw something at him. Well, at least we'll throw a pillow. We threw a pillow on the closet. But the cat didn’t jump out of there. Then we put three more pillows on the closet, mom’s coat, all of mom’s dresses, dad’s skis, a saucepan, dad’s and mom’s slippers, a lot of books and much more. But the cat didn’t jump out of there. Maybe it's not on the closet? I said. There she is, Vitka said. What is it like if she’s not there? Don't know! says Vitka. 8
9 Vitka brought a basin of water and placed it near the closet. If a cat decides to jump from the cabinet, let it jump straight into the basin. Penguins love to dive into water. We left something else for the closet. Wait, won't he jump? Then they placed a table next to the closet, a chair on the table, a suitcase on the chair, and they climbed onto the closet. And there is no cat there. The cat has disappeared. No one knows where. Vitka began to climb down from the closet and plopped straight into the basin. Water spilled all over the room. Then mom comes in. And behind her is our cat. She apparently jumped through the window. Mom clasped her hands and said: What's going on here? Vitka remained sitting in the basin. I was so scared. How amazing it is, says mom, that you can’t leave them alone for a minute. You have to do something like this! Of course, we had to clean everything ourselves. And even wash the floor. And the cat walked around importantly. And she looked at us with such an expression as if she was going to say: “Now, you will know that I am a cat. Not a seal or a penguin." A month later our dad arrived. He told us about Antarctica, about brave polar explorers, about their great work, and it was very funny to us that we thought that the winterers did nothing but catch various whales and seals there... But we didn’t tell anyone that we thought. Victor Golyavkin. How I wanted to deceive everyone. I don’t even want to talk about it. But I'll tell you anyway. Everyone thought I was really sick, but my gumboil was not real. It was I who put a blotter under my cheek, and that’s why my cheek became swollen. And on top of that, he made a grimace, saying that my tooth hurts! And I hum lightly; I did this all on purpose so that they wouldn’t ask for the lesson. And Anna Petrovna believed me. And the guys believed. Everyone felt sorry for me and worried. And I pretended that I was in great pain. Anna Petrovna said: Go home. Since your tooth hurts so much. But I didn’t want to go home at all. I roll the blotter in my mouth with my tongue and think: “I fooled everyone!” Suddenly Tanka Vederkina screams: Oh, look, the gumboil is on the other side! 9
10 Victor Golyavkin. It was not an extreme case. Everyone in class was writing a retelling, but, as luck would have it, I got sick that day. Five days later I just showed up at school. Anna Petrovna told me: Take the book home, read it and write it in your own words. Just read it no more than twice. What if I don't remember? Write as you remember. Is there no way you can do it a third time? In extreme cases, it is possible. I came home. I read it twice. As if I remembered it. I just forgot how to write the word “window” with an “a” or an “o”. What if you open the book and look once? Or is this not an extreme case? This is probably not an extreme case. After all, I mostly remembered everything. I’d better ask dad if I can come in a third time or not. This is not an extreme case, Dad said. There is a rule about unstressed vowels. And you should know this rule. I forgot the rule. I had to write at random. Anna Petrovna read the story. Why did you write the word “window” with an “a”? I say: It was not an extreme case. And I couldn’t look at the book for the third time. Otherwise I would have written it correctly. Victor Golyavkin. My work The older brother was making a receiver, and the younger brother was walking around and getting in the way. And I want to work, he asked. Here you are, said the elder brother. You're wearing a hammer and a nail. The younger one found a piece of plywood and got to work. Knock-knock-knock, all the plywood is full of holes! Even the whole stool has holes. I almost made a hole in my finger. Come on, said the elder brother, give it here. And nailed the plywood to the receiver. That's all, said the elder brother, the receiver is ready. The younger one went out into the yard and brought the guys. I did this. My job! Did you make the whole receiver? Not all of it, of course, but main part. Without it, the receiver would not work. 10
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