Claude Steiner "Scenarios of people's lives. Eric Bern School. Claude Steiner - Scenarios of people's lives. School of Eric Berne Steiner claude scripts of people's lives

Claude Steiner

Scenarios of people's lives

Eric Bern School

Life scenarios are what we choose, but we don't have to choose!

Claude Steiner's book appeared in Russian translation, albeit with a time delay, but nevertheless extremely timely. The earlier publication in Russia of the works of Eric Berne in the late 80s and early 90s of the 20th century, on the one hand, drew the attention of readers to the problems of practical psychology, and on the other hand, left transactional analysis in the memory of the majority only as one of the more or less common concepts in the world, the author of which is already the property of history. The correspondence of the concept of transactional analysis to the realities of modern Russia was very superficial, especially if one takes into account the overload of Bern's texts with American specifics - these books were written only for Americans or for residents of neighboring countries - Canada and Mexico.

With the work of Claude Steiner, things are different. Over the years that have passed since the writing of the book, it turned out that the trends in the psychological development of modern society, described by Bern's student, have become an integral part of the process of globalization of the world economy. And in Russia, as part of the world community, the psychological development of society according to Steiner (and transactional analysis) can be described in terms that coincide with modern studies of differences in national cultures. It is possible that the correspondence of Steiner's ideas to the modern world in general and Russia in particular is due to the fact that most of his clients at the time of writing the book were mainly people experiencing serious life crises - alcoholics, drug addicts, criminals and crime victims, etc. In this he differed radically from Berne, in whose practice less "acute" cases occupied most of the time. And if Berne's ideas and books were correlated with the "normative" behavior of people in America, then Steiner's works are international in nature, since suffering knows no political boundaries. In this regard, it can be said that the world has become more "suffering" over the past 20 years and that the discomfort of people at the beginning of the 21st century is mainly due to dramatic changes in the political, economic and technological spheres.

Descriptions of life scenarios such as "without love", "without reason" and "without joy", used by Steiner in 1974, have become "common" by now thanks to articles in many newspapers and magazines. The concept of "mid-life crisis" was supplemented by a new one - "crisis of the first quarter of life", since modern society puts forward often impossible demands on the younger generation, propagating through the media the obligation of early success in any endeavor. The age of highest achievement in life, influenced by success in sports and e-commerce, is shifting to a life span of 18–23 years, which prepares the onset of the crisis for 25 years.

A concrete embodiment of the present of this book is the comparison of Steiner's concepts with the results of research by G. Hofstede (1980), which describes a study conducted on more than 80,000 employees of IBM Corporation in 53 countries around the world, highlighting four factors underlying the differences between national cultures:

Power distance (a characteristic showing the degree of willingness of non-powerful members of public institutions of a given national culture to accept the fact that power is distributed unevenly in society);

Individualism/collectivism (individualism is characteristic of national cultures in which the ties between individuals are not very close and people are expected to take care of themselves and, perhaps, their closest relatives first of all; collectivism is characteristic of national cultures in which people integrated from birth into tight-knit groups that protect them throughout their lives in exchange for loyalty);

Masculinity / femininity (masculinity corresponds to national cultures that clearly separate gender - social male and social female - roles, while male roles are more confrontational and focused on material success, while female roles are softer and aimed at improving the quality of life; femininity corresponds to national cultures where there is no clear social division of gender roles);

Claude Steiner is a student and follower of Eric Berne, a prominent representative of transactional psychology and a well-known specialist in practical psychology. Claude Steiner co-founded the International Association for Transactional Analysis with Eric Byrne. Engaged in the development of scenario theory and introduced the concept of economy of strokes. Steiner is the author of several books on transactional analysis, which have become famous in many countries of the world. He made a great contribution to the study of the problem of alcoholism, considering it from the standpoint of transactional analysis.

On the way to transactional psychology

But the professional path did not begin at all with the study of the basics of psychology. At first, Claude studied engineering and even worked for some time as an automobile mechanic in California, studying physics. But the idea that he should devote his whole life to creating bombs did not inspire him, so Steiner took up the study of psychology.

In 1957, Claude Steiner met Eric Byrne. For Steiner, this was a landmark acquaintance, which largely determined the direction of his future activities.

Steiner was engaged in the development of the theory and practice of radical psychiatry.

Life scenarios: "Without love", "Without joy", "Without mind"

Inspired by Berne's scenario theory, Steiner identified three main scripts of human behavior: "Without love", "without reason", "without joy". Steiner in his book "Scenarios of people's lives. The Eric Byrne School" cites the following thought: "A person's life path is distorted by scenario programming in three ways. During my time as a psychotherapist, I have found that all emotional disorders can be divided into three groups of "cases": unhappy people either suffer from depression, which can drive them to suicide, or "go crazy", or they develop dependence on one of the drugs. Therefore, I have named three main life scenarios corresponding to these violations - "Lack of love", "Madness" and "Joyless", or "No love", "No mind" and "No joy".

The "no love" scenario is characterized by a lack of strokes. The stroke-saving mode suppresses the child's craving for manifestations of love.

The scenario “without reason” is formed from the prohibitions received in childhood to freely think and learn about the world. The extreme form of this scenario is insanity, and manifestations in adulthood are the lack of willpower, frivolity, stupidity. Steiner believes that “adults teach the child not to use their adult part, thereby laying the foundation for the Mindless scenario; moreover, their main tool is a depreciating transaction, or ignoring.

The "no joy" scenario - it was in this scenario that Steiner saw the causes of people's dependence on various chemicals, for example, caffeine, nicotine, aspirin: "People do not wonder why, when they come home from work, they feel the need to drink, why for they need to take a pill to fall asleep and why they need to take another pill to wake up. If they thought about it while remaining in touch with their bodily sensations, the answer would come by itself. Instead, from an early age we are taught to ignore our bodily sensations, both pleasant and unpleasant.

Stroke Economy Theory

Claude Steiner, based on his research, developed the theory of stroke economy, for which he was awarded the Eric Berne Prize in 1980.

The essence of this theory is that emotional strokes are as important as satisfying physical needs for food or sleep, for example. In the book "Scenarios of people's lives. School of Eric Burn" Steiner gives this metaphor: "To understand what is at stake, imagine that at birth each child is put on a mask with which you can control the amount of air that he takes in when he breathes. At first, the hole in it remains wide open, and the child breathes freely. However, as the child grows up and becomes able to perform some desired actions, the mask begins to be closed and opened only for the time during which the child does what adults want him to do. Imagine that he himself does not have the right to manipulate his mask and that only other people have such a right. This position makes people very responsive to the needs of those who control the access of air. Moreover, imagine that the fear of severe punishment does not give a person the opportunity to take off the mask, even if it is easily removed.

It is very important for a person to receive strokes, the reward in many of the psychological games described by Eric Burne in the book “Games People Play”, the reward is precisely the receipt of such strokes.

The most famous works of Claude Steiner

Steiner has written nine books on psychology and one fairy tale called The Fuzzy Tale.

Steiner also paid great attention to such a psychological game as “alcoholic”, his research was reflected in the books “Treatment of Alcoholism”, “Games Played by Alcoholics”. Steiner's writings are very accessible to the lay reader and outline methods of applying transactional analysis that can help in the treatment of alcohol dependence. Claude Steiner illuminates the problem of alcoholism not as a medical disease, but as a kind of scenario solution that can be reprogrammed.

Another famous book by Claude Steiner is The Other Side of Power. Farewell to Carnegie, or a Revolutionary Guide for the Puppet”, in which he highlighted the problems and mechanisms of power.

The well-known Dutch sociologist G. Hofstede conducted a study in 1980 based on the concept of Claude Steiner, and identified four factors that characterize the differences between national cultures: power distance, the desire for individualism, masculinity - femininity, alienation from uncertainty.

The aspect of femininity-masculinity is considered in detail by H. Wikoff in his works. He focuses on the difference between the scenario programming of men and women. The shift in the usual roles of men and women can lead to conflicts, both in family life and in professional activities.

If we analyze the application of Claude Steiner's concepts to Russian realities, we can emphasize that the Russian analogies of Steiner's ideas are mostly negative. But at the same time, Steiner's main principle remains relevant: "everything can and should be changed in order for a person to achieve sincerity, autonomy and love."

Literature:

1. Steiner K. “Scenarios of people's lives. School of Eric Burn";
2. Steiner K. "Treatment of alcoholism";
3. Steiner K. "Games that alcoholics play"
4. Hofstede G. "Typology of Organizational Cultures"
5. Wyckoff H. Gender-Role Programming for Men and Women

Men, like women, have a set of stereotypical scenarios, one (or several) of which they choose in childhood as the scenario of their life.

This lifestyle often has its "couple" among women's scenarios. "Big Strong Daddy" and "I'm Poor Baby" meet each other at a party and can fall in love at first sight even though they don't know anything about each other yet because their scripts complement each other. They were "made for each other" in the factory of banal lifestyles, that is, in the nuclear family. Unattractive Beauty's parents, the Smith family, knew she had to be a match for the Joneses' son, Playboy. When they meet, they fall in love at first sight, because their scripts, developed on the basis of national standards for male and female behavior, perfectly match one another. Due to the fact that their fate is decided for them, they lose their independence, and their ability to intimacy, spontaneity and knowledge is significantly impaired.

Brian Allen was the first to name some of the most common prohibitions and prescriptions given to boys. Most often they are told directly or indirectly: "Don't lose control", "Never be satisfied", "Don't ask for help", "Be superior to women". Some of the scenarios described below ("Big and Strong Daddy" and "The Simple Guy") were first conceived by Allen in the early days of hackneyed scenario research.

big and strong daddy

Life plan. A big and strong daddy is an exaggerated version of a responsible father and husband. He marries Mother Hubbard or Poor Little. In any case, his life consists of one responsibility. He not only provides for his family, but also worries about the well-being of each of his loved ones, plans their future, solves their problems, etc. Since he is responsible for almost everything in the house, he is also the sole ruler. He is always right, he “knows better” and does not allow any doubts on this score. He allows his family to do something on their own only so that they are once again convinced that they are not able to cope without his help, and not because he believes in their abilities. Because he is overwhelmed with responsibility, he cannot enjoy life and enjoys only the loyalty of his household. He works hard, gives a lot of strength to competition and achieves a certain professional success. When even the slightest thought creeps into his head about leaving loved ones to themselves, a strong sense of guilt immediately gets in the way of its realization. As he approaches retirement age, he turns into a family tyrant, demanding more and more loyal strokes and unconditional submission, because in him the feeling that life has been wasted increases. He resists, triggering the triangle of salvation again and again. Most often, he dies shortly after retirement. He has to leave his job, his children turn away from him, his wife, less affected by responsibility, begins to persecute him for saving her, and, having outlived him, reaps the fruits of their joint work. A variation on the Big Strong Daddy is Doctor Salvation, a professional healer who, in addition to his household duties, is overburdened with dealing with patients.

Counterscript. He decides to "take life easier", take a vacation, hire a secretary, work less. He may even get divorced and remarry or become a bachelor to avoid responsibility. But in his heart he remains the Savior, and therefore he is soon again drawn into the performance of his usual role.

Prohibitions and regulations:

You are always right;
. take care of everyone;
. weakness is unacceptable.

mythical hero. Daddy Warbucks, Life with Father, Dr. Marcus Welby.

Body Component. Energetic, he has a large chest. He carries himself as if he has a heavy weight on his shoulders. As a rule, he is tense and feels anxious.

Games :

. "The rescue";
. "Trial";
. "If not for you (not for them)."

The therapist sympathizes with him and prescribes him sedatives and sleeping pills. He sympathizes with his patient because he is in the same situation and tells him to hold on.

Antithesis. He realizes that he is saving everyone and that the reward for this is Persecution. He understands that guilt is a transactional racket and learns to share responsibility with others. He quits playing rescue and learns to take care of himself first. He decides that it's OK to be wrong sometimes, as he doesn't have to be responsible for every detail of every decision he makes.

Man in front of woman

Life plan. The man in front of the woman, as Wyckoff (ch. 14) points out, is less competent than his consort, the Woman behind the man. He knows that his success would not have been possible without the contribution of his wife or another woman. However, he feels the need to pretend that his contribution to the common cause is more significant. Even if he knows that his wife is more competent, more organized, and perhaps smarter, he still holds on to the lie about her secondary role. He takes advantage of her competence, but constantly lets her know that he is in charge here. On the stationery they both give their names, but his name always comes first. If they wrote a book together, her name may appear on the cover, but only after his name. Mysteriously, it seems that the idea, the spirit, the driving force of their joint creativity comes from him, while she does the mechanical work, which is of secondary importance, since in this place any intelligent woman could replace her. He feels guilty about usurping her copyright and cannot truly enjoy the success he has achieved, because he knows that success is rightfully hers. Nevertheless, sexist social standards force him to continue to lie, even if he himself wants to be an equal partner with his wife.

Antithesis. He understands that his partner's abilities would be more expressed if they communicated and presented themselves to the public as equals, and this would benefit both of them. He gets the opportunity to get rid of the guilt of his dishonesty and become himself, instead of playing the Naked King.

Playboy

Life plan. He spends his life looking for the "perfect" woman who doesn't exist. A playboy is a man who has fallen victim to the ideal image of a woman in the media. The advertising business uses the image of a perfect female body to sell products, and Playboy buys all these things. He believes in the real existence of the women he sees in glossy magazines and overestimates them, considering them to be "more perfect" than the women he meets in real life. His perception of people is two-dimensional, like a printed page or a blue screen, and therefore his reaction to a woman is superficial and directed solely to her appearance. He is never satisfied with his girlfriend because he plays Flaw. None of them completely match the fictional image that exists in his head, and so he goes from one woman to another, never finding what he is looking for and never seeing the woman who is currently in front of him, because she doesn't look like the woman in the ad. When he meets a girl who looks like his dream, he places her next to him in his Cadillac or Corvette to show her off to his Playboy friends. He is ashamed when he is seen with an "ugly" woman, and never goes out with such, although he does not mind spending time with her when no one sees him.

His partners are Artificial Women and Unattractive Beauties. His affair with the Artificial Woman is brief, leaving her when he discovers she is "hollow". His relationship with Unattractive Beauty is unsuccessful and ends with her departure. He may accidentally meet a Demon Woman who will surely harm him (for example, cast a spell that will turn him into an "impotent"). Since the media carefully avoids depicting aggressive, demanding women, he is confused and hurt by her anger. He spends an enormous amount of time getting strokes from the women he is attracted to. He works to have enough money to spend his free time with Fake Women and Unattractive Beauties. For his labors, he receives nothing but second-hand clothes and a long list of mistresses.

Counterscript. He finds a woman who is "perfect" for him. Unfortunately, this relationship proves to be short-lived due to the fact that his knowledge of love and relationships is limited to the stereotypes gleaned from magazines and movies, and never ends as he imagined they should ("and they lived long and happily").

Prohibitions and regulations:

Don't settle for anything but the best;
. don't give yourself away.

mythical hero. Hugh Hefner, Joe Namath, Porfirio Rubirosa, Don Juan.

. "Violence";
. "Flaw";
. "Why don't you… - Yes, but."

The Therapist's Scripted Role. The therapist takes indirect pleasure in his adventures and is envious of his success with women. He agrees with Playboy that women are difficult to understand and hints at his failures in dealing with them.

Antithesis. He realizes that he is chasing an impossible dream. At first it will be difficult for him to see the beauty of the women he meets in life, but he will be able to stop playing "Flaw" and begin to appreciate their true virtues. He learns that there are many qualities that make a person attractive and realizes that most of the women he knows are beautiful. He enters into a long-term intimate relationship with a woman who appreciates his sexy, mischievous Child and allows him to befriend and fall in love with other women.

Simple guy

Life plan. In adolescence, he decides (with the help of Charles Atlas) that the highest form of masculinity is sports. He gives everything to the sport. His body turns into solid muscles. He doesn't feel what he feels, and ironically, despite being so preoccupied with the physical condition of his body, he ignores much of it. His sexual energy is completely transformed into physical activity. As he enters early adulthood, he suddenly discovers that girls don't like his athletic figure and that his sports activities stand in the way of not only enjoying sex, but also developing qualities that women appreciate in men. He quits sports and quickly gains weight. Because he always placed too much emphasis on physical development, his intellect, intuition and spontaneity did not develop. Peers and peers consider him stupid. By nature, he is kind and naive, and time and time again he is surprised to find that the good guys don't win. He regularly attends sports as a spectator and thinks about the "good old days" when he was strong and athletic.

Prohibitions and regulations:

Do not think;
. compete.

Body Component. He has pumped muscles, but his body is unevenly developed (depending on the sport he has chosen). When he leaves sports, he quickly gains excess weight.

. "Fool";
. "Peasant's day off";
. "Let's fool Joe" (as the Victim).

The Therapist's Scripted Role. The therapist considers him stupider than himself and therefore does not listen to his opinion. To avoid individual meetings, he enrolls him in a therapy group, and when he does not come, the therapist feels relieved. The therapist secretly feels a sense of superiority towards him and does not believe that he can be helped.

Antithesis. He understands that stupidity is expected of him and that he himself plays along with this expectation. He decides to use his Adult and stop playing Fool. He understands that sports competitions do not benefit him, and he reacquaints himself with his body. His kind nature and belief in fair play help him when he tempers them with the necessary amount of intuition and rationality.

Intellectual

Life plan. In adolescence, he decides that the highest achievement of man is the development of the intellect. He refuses any physical activity in favor of studying. He reads, teaches, speaks, writes, thinks, mentally travels through the universe, and soon begins to feel that his body and his feelings are an obstacle to intellectual activity. He becomes a 100% Adult with an irresistible attraction to turn any business into an occasion for intellectual exercises. Since society encourages the development of intelligence, his script is rewarded with "success", as a result of which his conviction in the correctness of his life style becomes even stronger. Unfortunately, his script does not allow him to experience feelings, especially the feeling of love, so he feels an emotional emptiness and his life seems insipid and incomplete to him.

His relationships are planned and regulated by his Adult, but he fails to maintain or develop them. The women he dates complain that he doesn't love them (even though he thinks he does) and that he ignores them (which he doesn't understand at all).

Counterscript. He falls in love, experiences a flurry of emotions, releases his Child and Parent (option: goes on vacation and relaxes there), but his Adult does not remain in the background for long. Over time, "reason takes over feelings", he returns to his rational routine, and his life again becomes black and white, straightforward and deadly boring.

Prohibitions and regulations:

Don't feel;
. be smart;
. work your head.

mythical hero. Albert Einstein, Bertrand Russell, Ludwig Wittgenstein.

Body Component. The most prominent part of his body is his head. She is so big that her shoulders bend under her weight. He has a hollow chest, and his breathing is shallow, because he is afraid to arouse feelings in himself. He thinks of his body as an instrument of the mind, which is the center of his being.

. "Trial";
. "Why don't you… - Yes, but";
. "Do something for me."

The Therapist's Scripted Role. The therapist endlessly analyzes his mind. The psychoanalytic method is ideal for maintaining and developing his scenario. Everything is “analyzed and understood”, but nothing changes. He lies on the couch, the calculator buzzing in his head, his body lying limply next to him, and free associations are increasingly moving away from one another.

Antithesis. He realizes with the help of his Adult that he is on the wrong path and that his life is wasted. He decides to try active psychotherapy and enrolls in an encounter group or undergoes gestalt therapy or bioenergetic therapy. If the therapist helps him avoid intellectualization, he will get in touch with his feelings and learn to follow them. He will gradually understand that intellectual activity alone is not enough for a person, he will begin to use his intuition, his Caring Parent and Natural Child. He will overcome his fear of action (as opposed to thinking and speaking), change his behavior and his attitudes.

Misogynist

Life plan. Watching his mother and how his father treats her, he decides at an early age that women are not good. Most often he is a bachelor, he serves in the army or is engaged in other male work. He invests energy in activities (sports, hunting) in which women have no place and where they are definitely second-class creatures. He sees women as weak, incompetent, and takes pride in not needing them. For sexual release, he uses the services of a prostitute or starts a one-night stand. He does not respect women and does not believe that it is possible to maintain a long-term relationship with them. Since bachelors do not achieve much career success in our society, he tends to be unhappy. He lives in a rundown apartment with a sink full of dirty dishes and a floor heavily littered with cigarette butts. His bed is always unmade, and there are cobwebs in the corners. He smokes and drinks a lot and can even become an alcoholic, and his dislike for women eventually extends to children and, in general, all joyful, creative people and their activities.

Counterscript. He meets a woman he likes. He can even marry her, “domesticate” her and enjoy a short period of love, care and warmth. However, his inhibitions on intimacy and spontaneity are so strong that he cannot respond to his wife's feelings, so after a brief period of free expression of feelings, he withdraws into himself again, which marks the end of an intimate relationship.

Prohibitions and regulations:

Don't be intimate with anyone;
. do not trust;
. do not relax.

mythical hero. General Patton, Herbert Hoover, Dick Tracy, The Lone Ranger.

. “Well, got caught, scoundrel!”;
. "Flaw";
. "If not for them (women)."

The Therapist's Scripted Role. This man does not go to therapists, and he will never go to a female psychotherapist. He only appears in the therapist's office at the behest of a judge, boss, or (in the military) superior officer. The therapist most often ignores his aversion to the process of therapy as such, and therefore he fails to conclude a full contract. He stops visiting the therapist without moving a millimeter and thinks of the therapist as an unmanly or "egghead" type.

Antithesis. For this type of man, the antithesis is complex. He can meet a woman who loves him and demands from him the right actions at the right time, after which he will open up and begin to enjoy life. He can also build a close relationship with another man. However, since he is bitter and does not recognize anyone's rightness, it will be difficult for him to change.

Claude Steiner

Scenarios of people's lives

Eric Bern School

Life scenarios are what we choose, but we don't have to choose!

Claude Steiner's book appeared in Russian translation, albeit with a time delay, but nevertheless extremely timely. The earlier publication in Russia of the works of Eric Berne in the late 80s and early 90s of the 20th century, on the one hand, drew the attention of readers to the problems of practical psychology, and on the other hand, left transactional analysis in the memory of the majority only as one of the more or less common concepts in the world, the author of which is already the property of history. The correspondence of the concept of transactional analysis to the realities of modern Russia was very superficial, especially if one takes into account the overload of Bern's texts with American specifics - these books were written only for Americans or for residents of neighboring countries - Canada and Mexico.

With the work of Claude Steiner, things are different. Over the years that have passed since the writing of the book, it turned out that the trends in the psychological development of modern society, described by Bern's student, have become an integral part of the process of globalization of the world economy. And in Russia, as part of the world community, the psychological development of society according to Steiner (and transactional analysis) can be described in terms that coincide with modern studies of differences in national cultures. It is possible that the correspondence of Steiner's ideas to the modern world in general and Russia in particular is due to the fact that most of his clients at the time of writing the book were mainly people experiencing serious life crises - alcoholics, drug addicts, criminals and crime victims, etc. In this he differed radically from Berne, in whose practice less "acute" cases occupied most of the time. And if Berne's ideas and books were correlated with the "normative" behavior of people in America, then Steiner's works are international in nature, since suffering knows no political boundaries. In this regard, it can be said that the world has become more "suffering" over the past 20 years and that the discomfort of people at the beginning of the 21st century is mainly due to dramatic changes in the political, economic and technological spheres.

Descriptions of life scenarios such as "without love", "without reason" and "without joy", used by Steiner in 1974, have become "common" by now thanks to articles in many newspapers and magazines. The concept of "mid-life crisis" was supplemented by a new one - "crisis of the first quarter of life", since modern society puts forward often impossible demands on the younger generation, propagating through the media the obligation of early success in any endeavor. The age of highest achievement in life, influenced by success in sports and e-commerce, is shifting to a life span of 18–23 years, which prepares the onset of the crisis for 25 years.

A concrete embodiment of the present of this book is the comparison of Steiner's concepts with the results of research by G. Hofstede (1980), which describes a study conducted on more than 80,000 employees of IBM Corporation in 53 countries around the world, highlighting four factors underlying the differences between national cultures:

Power distance (a characteristic showing the degree of willingness of non-powerful members of public institutions of a given national culture to accept the fact that power is distributed unevenly in society);

Individualism/collectivism (individualism is characteristic of national cultures in which the ties between individuals are not very close and people are expected to take care of themselves and, perhaps, their closest relatives first of all; collectivism is characteristic of national cultures in which people integrated from birth into tight-knit groups that protect them throughout their lives in exchange for loyalty);

Masculinity / femininity (masculinity corresponds to national cultures that clearly separate gender - social male and social female - roles, while male roles are more confrontational and focused on material success, while female roles are softer and aimed at improving the quality of life; femininity corresponds to national cultures where there is no clear social division of gender roles);

Uncertainty avoidance (a characteristic showing the level of psychological discomfort experienced by members of a given national culture when faced with previously unknown life situations). The concept of power distance in national culture coincides with Steiner's idea of ​​the helplessness scenario (Chapter 11), that is, the situation when in the family the child lives in situations of his "salvation" and learns to be helpless. In Western civilizations, an individual citizen can shorten the power distance through the existence of democratic institutions, but this requires his conscious choice, and Steiner writes about this.

Screenplay by Eric Berne

I met Eric on a Tuesday evening in 1958 in his office on Washington Street. I don’t remember what we talked about, but I remember exactly that when I was leaving, he came up to me and said: “You speak well. I hope you come again."

I came. And over the following years, we gradually became close friends. Our relationship was built slowly. We had difficult times when I wanted to leave and never see Bern again, but there were also wonderful moments. In the last year of his life, our relationship was especially strong, and I am grateful that before the death of Eric, we felt a deep affection for each other.

Around 1967, Eric Berne began holding Thursday meetings between 8:30 and 10:00 pm with a group of people interested in his method. In fact, the evening ended when everyone went home (sometimes this happened in the morning).

He was almost always present except on the rare occasions of lecturing or illness. He recorded many of these seminars on tape. We agreed on the topic of the seminar in advance. If there were no people willing to speak, Eric spoke himself. Sometimes he read excerpts from another book, about which those present then expressed their opinion, sometimes he spoke about one of the recent group or individual therapy sessions.

At these meetings, professional mystification was forbidden, as well as any form of pomposity - nonsense, in the words of Berne himself. If in his presence one of his colleagues began to pour out medical terms, he patiently listened to the end, and then, inhaling from the pipe and raising his eyebrows, he summarized: “This is all excellent; but I only understood that you did not cure your patient.”

He did not allow verbiage, he insisted on understandable words, short sentences, concise texts and short speeches. He introduced a ban on the use of the adjectives "passive", "hostile" and "dependent" in relation to patients and encouraged the use of verbs in describing people. He considered words ending in "k" ("maniac", "alcoholic", "schizophrenic") to be especially offensive.

Bern did everything to ensure that during the joint work of his Adult and the Adults of his colleagues were active and worked to the limit of their capabilities. He condemned the use of physical contact by therapists in group work, the drinking of coffee and alcoholic beverages during meetings, and sudden insights as a way to turn attention to oneself. During scientific conferences, he did not tolerate avoidance (by apologizing), embellishment (by buzzwords), distraction (by offering brilliant ideas and hypothetical examples), and drinking.

He spent Tuesdays and Wednesdays in San Francisco, where he had a private practice and worked as a consultant, after which he returned to Carmel, where he wrote books and had another practice. He spent weekends in Carmel and went to the beach at every opportunity.

It seems that his main task was to write books. I think he put it above everything else in his life.

He was a man of principles; he prefaced his book Transactional Analysis in Psychotherapy with the following dedication: "In Memoriam Patris Mei David Medicinae Doctor Et Chirurgiae Magister atque Pauperibus Medicus". ("In memory of my father David, M.D. and M.Sc.." - Note. transl.)

This description of his father vividly illustrates Eric's life principles.

His constant goal was to treat patients. Therefore, he was disgusted by all sorts of meetings and certain literature, the purpose of which, as he felt, was to justify post hoc (poorly done work).

He was proud of the honest poverty of his father, who was a country doctor. Berne had a bad attitude towards people whose main goal is to make money, and if he felt that one of his colleagues was studying transactional analysis in order to make an income, he did not hesitate to criticize and scold him. He often tested us in San Francisco, calling out applications for lectures on transactional analysis for which there was no remuneration, and seeing who in the audience agreed and who did not. He kept a detailed account of money and forgave himself for unnecessary expenses (for example, an extra 25 cents paid for sauce at a restaurant, or the cost of a new shirt) only after an accountant convinced him that if Eric had not spent his money himself, he would have spent it Uncle Sam. It seems to me that he wanted to live in decent poverty (the key word is “worthy”).

He was very committed to the medical fraternity and sought to maintain links with the medical tradition. I think it was this commitment that kept his Parent from criticizing medicine and psychiatry in general, while Bern's Child made fun of the methods of individual members of the medical community.

On the other hand, he was simply devilishly sharp-tongued. A sense of humor appeared in everything he wrote, for example in the title of the article "Who is Condom?" (That's right, a condom is a contraceptive).

He was shy. He was very attracted to the cheerful part of people (Natural Child). His theory was based largely on the intuitions of his childish part (see ch. 1). He adored children and Children in adults, but shyness prevented him from expressing his own childish side unless the situation was perfectly safe. He liked to get strokes from other people, and I think that's why he had parties after the seminars. Berne loved parties with dancing and games, and he was always annoyed by people who interrupted the general fun with their boring, "adult" behavior.

However, he rarely allowed himself to have fun or socialize solely for the sake of pleasure: his whole life revolved around work, and it had only two goals - to write books and heal people.

Eric came up with the idea that people's lives are pre-planned and written down in a "script" that they follow without deviating. It seems to me that in the script of Eric Berne's life it was written that he would die of heart disease before reaching old age. It also seems to me that his tragic death was the result of the strict restrictions that he unconsciously placed on his ability to love and receive the love of other people, on the one hand, and the strict prescription that he must be completely independent, on the other.

I know that if he were alive, he would argue with me. He would remind me that heart disease is hereditary and that he did everything he could for his health: diet, active lifestyle, and regular medical examinations. From a medical point of view, he took care of his heart impeccably, but nevertheless, when I think about his death, I feel that it became for me both unexpected and completely natural. Some part of me - and him too - knew perfectly well what would happen to him and when. Another part of him pretended not to know, and some part of me voluntarily indulged this illusion.

Berne was very interested in the question of the predetermined life span. Several times he took before us the cases of people who were going to live only to forty or to sixty years of age, and, as can be easily seen by looking at his last book, "People who play games," he was especially attracted by the stories of the lives of people who suffered heart diseases. If you read his books more closely, you will notice that he almost does not mention other causes of death, except for heart disease. The reason for his partiality became clear to me when he died; I learned that his father died when Eric was eleven years old, and his mother - at sixty from coronary thrombosis. Berne himself lived a little less than his mother and died of the same ailment. I am sure that his life scenario was limited in time and he lived it exactly as planned. He never showed that he was aware of his intention to live only to sixty, but now that I look back and remember everything, what he talked about coronary disease and time-limited scripts, I understand that he followed his script and knew it. As we celebrated his sixtieth birthday, he announced to us that he had completed both books he planned to write and was now ready to enjoy life. However, two weeks later he informed his friends and colleagues that he was starting a new book, a psychiatry textbook for medical students. He did not let himself go until the last second of his life, when, as planned, his heart stopped.

Of course, in some respects, Eric took care of his heart, but in other respects, not related to medicine, he did nothing for him. It makes me very sad when I think about how much love was directed to him and how little love he allowed into his heart. All of Eric's close relationships ended quickly and did not give him the warmth he wanted and needed. He defended his loneliness and did not allow himself to be helped in his work. When I think about it, I get angry at him just as I would be angry at a loved one who would undermine his health, such as drinking or smoking. Bern took care of his health physically (except that he smoked a pipe all his life), but not emotionally.

He didn't let you care; he politely listened to a person if he criticized his isolation, individualism and rivalry, but then he still acted in his own way. When he needed therapeutic help, he preferred traditional psychoanalysis to group transactional psychotherapy.

He was completely passive about his need for love and human contact. At the same time, he created a number of important concepts regarding love. His theory spoke about the interaction and manifestations of love in people. He was very interested in the relationship issue. He created the concept of "stroking", which he interpreted as a "unit of recognition", but it can also be understood as a unit of love. In the last years of his life, he wrote the books Sex in Human Love and People Who Play Games. In my opinion, both of these works were an attempt to break through their own script restrictions. Unfortunately, both he and I came too late to a real understanding of the role of strokes and scripting for it to be of personal benefit to him.

During the early days of transactional analysis (1955-1965), Berne implicitly condemned our attempts to explore strokes, proximity, and scripts. According to Berne, intimacy was one of the ways in which human beings structure their time, and he defined it as a situation in which there is no aloofness, rituals, games, pastimes and activities. Berne defined proximity by elimination and therefore, in fact, did not define it in any way. Moreover, Berne was sure that intimacy is unattainable and that a person can consider himself lucky if during his life he experienced at least fifteen minutes of intimacy. When the Carmel Transactional Analysis Seminar moved on to the study of strokes and began using techniques involving physical contact, Berne was alarmed and immediately declared publicly that "anyone who touches his patients is not a transactional analyst."

Berne's prohibition against touch in group work had a reasonable basis. He feared that transactional analysis might turn, as it had already done with Gestalt therapy, into a form of therapy that would allow the therapist to engage in sexually charged relationships with patients. Berne was conscious of his work and felt that the use of physical contact could harm the effectiveness of therapy and ruin the reputation of transactional analysis. That is why he forbade his students to touch the people with whom they worked. And although the ban was not intended to limit strokes between people, it nevertheless led to just such a consequence. Bern himself could neither ask for strokes nor accept them. It is interesting to note that out of the 2,000 pages he wrote about transactional analysis, no more than 25 are devoted to strokes.

In relation to the scripts, he behaved in a similar way. His analysis of scenario analysis was incomprehensible to us. Scenario analysis seemed to be an intricate, deep, almost magical process that only Eric Berne could understand. We, young, practice-oriented and group-prone therapists, found it too complicated and boring. Berne used techniques borrowed from psychoanalysis for scenario analysis, and he spoke of scenario analysis, unlike all other aspects of his theory, in psychoanalytic jargon. The scenarios for Berne were associated with the phenomenon of unconscious compulsions, and they had to be dealt with in the course of individual therapy.

It seems to me that Eric Berne, like many great discoverers, had a script that limited his full exploration of the phenomena that interested him, namely that Berne's script inhibitions prevented him from accepting strokes from other people, limited his scientific exploration of scripts and strokes, and erected a boundary between him and his disciples. These restrictions had a number of consequences for him: he was not fully aware of his own script and, therefore, could not change it. The ban on strokes that kept his script alive and shattered his heart remained unaffected. The distance he kept those he loved and those who loved him, and me in particular, made it impossible for other people to support him. I feel that he could live longer - up to ninety-nine, maybe.

Bern's death was unexpected. On Tuesday, June 23, 1970, he participated in a discussion at the weekly Transactional Analysis Seminar in San Francisco. We agreed that at the next seminar I would present my article "Economy of Strokes" Eric looked healthy and happy.

On Tuesday, June 30, when I came to the seminar, I learned that Eric had come down with a heart attack. I visited him in the hospital: he was already better. The second attack killed him on Wednesday, July 15th.

I can't speak objectively about Berne's death; when I think about it now, three years after he passed away, tears well up in my eyes. However, I decided to express what I thought.

How the script appears... A gray-haired man is sitting at the piano. His fingers run over the keys. A scroll slowly unfolds with musical notation inscribed by his ancestors. The music, now sad, now bravura, now disorderly, now harmonious and melodious, captures

How to test a script? If the scenario is diagnosed, then some of its elements that can be quantitatively interpreted should be found. For example, how many percent of women wear red caps? How many toe boys really have long blond hair?