I've read stories about interethnic love. I want to tell you a little... My father is Chechen, my mother is Gagauz. Although I grew up not in Chechnya, I was raised in Chechen style, I am a Muslim... Many of my friends met Chechens, in while I was an exemplary girl - I studied, studied and studied again, I didn’t even think about holding hands with someone. At first my friends were in the clouds, praising their Vainakh boyfriends, but then... Basically, they abandoned all of them and left to marry Chechen women. And the most common excuse was “Sorry, but I am a Chechen, and I can ONLY take a Chechen as a wife.”) This is the first excuse of a Chechen who does not want to marry a Russian girl. A Chechen can it is free to marry a girl of any nationality, a Chechen woman can also marry a non-Chechen, but in general the marriage of a Chechen woman with a foreigner is not welcomed, often the family of such a girl even refuses her, sometimes it comes to revenge... But that’s another conversation. Dear girls , if your boyfriend told you that he can only marry a girl of his own nationality, then he simply doesn’t love you, or, what happens less often, he’s afraid of the family’s reaction. But then again, is a loving person afraid to do something for the sake of his beloved? Do it conclusions.

Let's move on... One of my friends met with a Chechen guy. She left with a beating. Now she fiercely hates all Caucasians. So, girls, know that a Chechen (who respects the traditions of his people, knows and honors them) will never in his life for anything in the world will not hit a girl (I’m generally silent about beating). According to Chechen adats, a man has no right to raise his hand against a woman, and indeed against an old man, a child, a minor teenager, or a baby. And those who raise their hands against a woman are just people , disrespecting neither themselves, nor their people, nor religion. However, this rule is not included in the rite of revenge, since if they have offended the family, then a person has the right to even kill a woman. A Chechen must protect his woman, and not only his own. Women are welcomed only standing, a man should be the first to greet them, among Chechens a woman is, first of all, someone’s mother, sister, wife, daughter, or fiancée. If God forbid someone even lays a finger on a girl (pushes her, for example), it’s not just her brother , but any Chechen who saw this will certainly stand up. Shame on the Chechen who raised his hand against a girl. For an insult to his wife, the husband can kill the offender. But if a woman behaves inappropriately (cheating on her husband), then sometimes it comes to male lynching. You hit? Make your move before it's too late.

I often hear that Chechens are often unrestrained and quick-tempered. But according to adats (I forgot to say, these are not written rules), a Chechen must be restrained. He has no right to show his emotions, even to smile at his wife in front of strangers (especially elders) is considered indecent (I’m silent about shouting and public showdowns) A Chechen must be patient, laconic, reasonable, consistent in his actions and decisions, a Chechen who respects himself will not throw words to the wind. If he said something or swore , then he will definitely do it, no matter what the cost (even if he has to lay down his life).

Here are some other girls who speak about Chechens as if they consider all Russians to be, excuse me, easy-going. Complete nonsense. In fact, for a Chechen, it doesn’t matter what nationality the girl is, if she behaves inappropriately, then the attitude towards her is appropriate. Chechen girls are very modest , may seem wild to some, but previously, even if a Chechen took a girl by the hand (who was not married to him), he was killed. Now, of course, this is not the case, but the girl’s honor is still inviolable. If a Chechen dishonored a girl, then the family of that Chechen woman can punish with blood, but more often they try to marry off such girls.

One of my friends married a Chechen. He forced her to wear a headscarf. In fact, the girl must decide for herself whether she wants to wear a headscarf. This is a state of mind. You can wear a headscarf, but in your heart remain a convinced atheist. But what kind then meaning? Chechen women mostly wear a headscarf at will, because they honor adats. Previously, if two men were fighting on the street, a woman passing by to separate them would run up and, taking the headscarf off her head, throw it between them. They were obliged to stop a fight. No one can force you to wear a headscarf. It all comes from the heart. For example, no one forced me to cover my head, but when I turned 14, I myself came to this decision and wore a headscarf. I have one friend, also a Chechen , wears a hijab, prays 5 times a day, and sits on a dating site and swears (by the way, it is unacceptable for a Chechen woman to use obscene language). This is how it happens.

Let's move on...Bride kidnapping). Often our guys like to joke, “I saw you today when you were going to the store, I’ll steal you tomorrow!” But this, as a rule, has nothing to do with the truth). It’s a kind of entertainment to intimidate a girl with theft. I was often told before that they would steal, etc., but these are jokes. In fact, the theft is planned in advance. And most often the bride is not warned about this (the bride can tell her brother or father, then she is guaranteed complete safety, since they they won’t leave you alone, and stealing in the presence of brothers is very difficult, almost impossible). Bride kidnapping most often occurs for the following reasons: 1) the girl’s relatives are against her marriage, and she cannot go against their will, even though she loves that young man. 2) the girl doesn’t love him, and he wants to marry her, but he can’t get her consent to the marriage. 3) they love each other and the girl herself asks “steal me, otherwise they’ll give me away for someone else.” and finally 4) just observing a beautiful tradition .Sometimes it happens that the groom dishonors his beloved when he stole it, and she has no other choice but to marry him. Most often, stolen girls marry their kidnappers. If your beloved tells you that he will steal, then most likely he will just jokes. If you are still kidnapped, then again the decision is yours, you can refuse and return home. But the guarantee that if you return and your horseman will not steal you again is small. My cousin got married 4 times stole until she agreed)

Girls, if you are going to marry a Chechen, then I hope these couple of tips will help you.

1) be respectful of the traditions of his people.

2) when meeting his parents, do not hug him, do not hold hands, do not kiss, and do not even smile at him, come in modest clothes. It is advisable to wear a skirt below the knees, a loose sweater. It is better to put your hair in a pigtail, light makeup is also acceptable, but in no case vulgar, just a little. It is advisable to come with your parents. help the mother of your chosen one set the table, perhaps help cook, the fact that you are a good housewife will increase your chances of fitting into their family. but not insist on your help if they told you that they don’t need it. You should behave modestly. If you give them a compliment, thank them. You can also say a couple of compliments, but don’t bombard them with them.

3) in marriage you should be patient, flexible, hard-working. You should be restrained, calm, keep the house clean and naturally you will cook.)

And so, good luck to you, girls! I hope that my note will help you a little and at least a little destroy the stereotypes that all Chechens are animals.

ZY I’m getting married soon myself.)

A good discussion on the topic is here http://ponyat.ru/issue/b801-chechen-i-russkaya-devushka.html
Here's the start of the discussion...

Chechen and Russian girl

he is Chechen, I am Russian, what future do I have with him?? his mother really wants me to be his wife!!

Answers from site visitors: Chechen and Russian girl

BERRY (Eagle)

Important - Mutual understanding ------nation has nothing to do with it....

Petso (Khimki)

there are no barriers to true love, if you don’t believe and doubt him, don’t poison his soul, immediately say no

I'm the only one (Novosibirsk)

honey, you are very lucky!!! the main thing is the blessing of the parents =)))

pulka (Moscow)

Oh, they have a completely different mentality, these are Eastern men. Of course, it’s up to you to decide, but I’m actually afraid of such broks.... not enough...

(****Adilya****) (Magnitogorsk)

Honestly? You are very lucky that your boyfriend’s MOTHER HERSELF wants you to become her son’s wife! You know, I almost fell out of my chair when I read it)))) It’s very rare when everything turns out like that. My favorite person is Lezgintak, his mother is against his Russian daughter-in-law, although I am of the same faith as him. You know, Chechens are a proud and temperamental people, if your young man adheres to the traditions of his people, then you better study them, and even better, learn the Chechen language))) I have a friend who is now learning the Chechen language)))) The attitude towards women is also a little different than the Russians, but respectful, I can say that for sure!

Yagodkina (Nalchik)

Future? Eat separately from men. And serve the men's table first. and then go get yours. And constantly run around serving and cleaning. They treat children very reservedly. Think about it. Of the Muslims, Chechens are the most insidious and cruel.
http://www.christianbook.ru/lib/braksmus.html
http://www.pravaya.ru/idea/20/9599
These are references about women in Islam.
http://www.radonezh.ru/all/gazeta/?ID=497&forprint Muslim laws.

Chechen and thief in law are an explosive mixture. http://otvet.mail.ru/question/17199258/

Source: I would not give my daughter for a Chechen.

Natalia (Perm)

among Chechens... to marry a Russian... is very rare... maybe it really is true love... and if your mother agrees... you need to convert to Islam... in practice, I have never seen Russian wives among my Chechen friends. ..Russians have a completely different view of family

In a relationship (Nizhny Novgorod)

If he is a Muslim, aren’t you afraid that he might take a second wife?

Colipso (Bryansk)

You can go out safely in Russia, but don’t even think about leaving for his homeland. Unless, of course, he is the eldest of the children, because... Muslims have the eldest son as a father and, accordingly, the daughter-in-law is the mistress of the situation

BESTIA-STAR OF ANTARES (St. Petersburg)

mom wants?? and what do you want?? be prepared for the fact that you will have to change your faith.. and become a submissive wife.. not to mention complete house-building

Yulia (Cheboksary)

Well, of course... registration in Moscow didn’t bother anyone... wash it ten times... it will be hard for you

rex (No city)

stupid! they haven’t told you yet that you’re stupid! Our people will come and kill all the blacks and your bastards!!!

Andrey (Without a city)

When choosing a husband, a white woman also chooses the nationality of her future children. Why don't you think about it?

Mika (Without a city)

I’m also in love with a Chechen, it’s no one’s fault that Russian martyrs are weak in spirit. That’s why he’s like a tank behind him)))

Ekaterina (Without city)

I'm going to marry a Chechen. But it turned out the other way around, my parents are against this marriage, but on the contrary, they are happy for me. My mother calls me her daughter. says that I am a Vainashka. I was in their family and I can say that everything depends on the person, not the nation. Women are highly revered and respected. For a mother, sister, beloved, even if they simply raised their voices at her, they would lay their heads. Respect for elders, because they wrote that she doesn’t sit at the table with men, she sets the table first, that’s true, but the problem with us is that for Russians, it’s also essentially accepted, that’s why a girl marries her HUSBAND! then there is everything for him, everything for his sake. This is how it has happened in modern times. When you are alone at home with him, behave as you want, but in front of his friends, and especially elders, you need to behave as a real Chechen woman should. And you don’t need to wear any burqa. A scarf in the form of a headband and a skirt below the knee. A modest girl, just the way she should be. So only those who are accustomed to a riotous and selfish lifestyle are afraid of this. If you love, DO NOT FEAR ANYTHING. Look at him as a loved one, and not as a Chechen.

Doesn't matter (No city)

I also love a Chechen and he loves me and I think this is quite normal. How he answered my question when I asked him if love was possible between us, he said in love all people are the same, regardless of nation

Mikhail (Without a city)

look at how these jackals are cutting off the heads of our children! nonhumans, they will all burn in hell for their evil! and you don’t know what they teach their children from a young age!!!

Mikhail (Without a city)

If only it were my will, I would make a second Hiroshima out of this fucking Churkmenia of Chechnya, to level all of them as fucking shepherds, well, damn, they learned to wipe their black ass with paper, otherwise for centuries the shameful saxauls have been plugging their fingers with their fingers! Hello RAMZANKA KADYROVA, the time will come to fuck you all, we will be jackals!

Marina (Without city)

There are so many different people, and many different opinions. You yourself know what you want? The forbidden fruit is sweet. For better or for worse, we were raised to hate the Chechens. It’s difficult to accept a Muslim just to be with him .You yourself must want this. They respect the woman, but don’t forget, you will have to give up a lot - the beach, candy with alcohol, arguing and much more. Yes, it’s easy to give up a lot. If you are still very young. But when you had too much freedom , then this is almost incredible. In my case, I understand everything soberly, we are just lovers. Yes, I have nothing to lose. I am independent of anyone. I make my decisions myself. I am Belarusian, soon I will become Austrian. I love a Chechen. But how many men, has already broken hearts and how many more will break. I am glad for those for whom everything went right and smoothly from the very beginning. Lastly, I still want to say about Russian men. Not all, but very many of them are looking for brides with a dowry, beauty spiritual and external big roles do not play for them. Rich protectors, yes! And these are Russian men. Well, the Chechens, in principle, they do not hide what exactly they want from you. The choice is yours

Amina (Without a city)

I love a Chechen, even though he is married. He did so much for me, and I was a fool and climbed into bed with him. And now everything is different. I converted to Islam, he gave me a name, prayers in Arabic, syllable by syllable, like with a child. Now I have everything, live and be happy. And he still helps, but he will never respect you again. And I won't either. And who is to blame is the damned Russian mentality, and in Christianity lust is also a mortal sin. Only he won’t forget and I won’t forget, and you can’t mend a broken cup.

Mystery (No City)

I am a child (!), 47 years old, mixed marriage, official. Mom was Russian, dad was Chechen. Six years later, the parents separated; the reason was not due to different nationalities. Nevertheless, all my life I communicated with my father, I communicate with my relatives (though they are all very educated and civilized: three higher educations, academic degrees, etc.). Looking at some of the fathers of my Russian friends, I even felt sorry for them (endless drunkenness, fighting, and other negative aspects). But I have loving parents, even if they don’t live together, and an intelligent attitude. I think. that I'm happy. Moreover, I will say that I communicate with my second wife and their children. We have a good relationship. So every nation has its heroes and freaks. But life didn’t work out for my parents, not me. Chechens love very much and never abandon their children. So at least provide your children with a normal father. And my late mother was the initiator of the divorce, built a dizzying career, and before her death she said that my father was the most decent man in her life; in her youth, she did not consider or appreciate this. Love works wonders. Of course, one must study the traditions of the people (they have very high moral characteristics), and take into account the opinion of a man. If you agree on everything, then it can very well turn out to be a positive marriage. I don’t know about faith, during the USSR the issue was not so pressing, both parents were ardent communists. Today no one is trying to lure me into Islam. I didn’t even notice such attempts. Once again I apologize to all visitors to the site. Perhaps I have been very lucky in life, I am just an exception to the rule. Why don't you build an exception too. after all, one positive example is already someone’s life, destiny... Good luck to all Russian girls who have decided to connect their lives with “non-believers.” Your chosen one must be the best!!!

This is just the beginning of the discussion, follow the link in full

“When we poured the underground wine into the toilet, it turned acid pink.”

On October 5, Ramzan Kadyrov turns 40 years old. On the eve of the anniversary, the newly elected head of the Chechen Republic called it “the most stable region” in Europe.

Our special correspondent studied the secret life of the capital of Chechnya, Grozny, visiting a secret alcohol store, a nightclub and learning the peculiarities of local gender relations.

One of the main achievements of the hero of the day was the “prohibition law” he introduced seven years ago - stricter than Mikhail Gorbachev established in 1985 for the entire USSR. Throughout Chechnya there are only a few stores where alcohol is sold strictly from 8 to 10 am. And yet you can drink here at night, but you cannot raise a toast to the health of the birthday boy.

"Don't look me in the eye"

“Don’t look me in the eyes,” the hospitable Chechen Rustam with a Ramzan-like beard admonished me at the entrance to the post-war symbol of the republic - the Grozny City high-rise building. On the upper floors of these towers is the only place in the entire republic where alcohol is legally sold not in the morning, but in the afternoon and evening. They no longer serve food at night: the restaurant closes exactly at midnight.

This was arranged for visitors, so that Chechnya would give the impression of a modern, hospitable entity, living like the rest of Russia,” my guide explained. - There are laws here. Follow them and you will make a good impression on the locals.

The symbol of the restored republic is the Grozny City skyscraper.

Most of the rules, of course, are for women. In Chechnya, one is considered one from the moment of puberty, that is, from the age of 11–12. A woman of any age and social status does not walk alone here - neither at night nor during the day.

A Chechen woman is always under supervision and must be accompanied by someone - a man (he walks in front), another woman, or, in extreme cases, a child, even an infant. Of the men, a woman can be accompanied by: husband, brother, father, relative, distant relative, or, in extreme cases, a respectable long-term family friend, although this is undesirable. A woman cannot have male acquaintances whom only she knows, much less friends among male acquaintances.

A man, except for his closest relatives like a husband or father, is strictly forbidden to touch any woman, and a woman is strictly forbidden to touch any man. When meeting, Chechen acquaintances, work colleagues, housemates, students of the same educational institution or their parents, if they are of different genders, do not kiss, hug, pat on the shoulder, or shake hands.

And what if a woman goes with a man to the mountains, he will not shake hands with her at the dangerous crossing?

“He won’t,” Rustam snapped. - Why does a woman even go to the mountains? This is the work of men, this is a test for the horseman. If she’s going there, then let her test herself too and not wait for help. I would offer my hand only if she were falling into the abyss, why take the sin on my soul? But even then through force: touching a woman is an insult to her, which means she is taken for a person of easy virtue.

Another prohibition for women - not to look a stranger in the eye when communicating - is also asked to be observed not only by locals.

At the same time, in Chechnya everyone is very polite, and a woman should be the first to greet any unfamiliar man indoors, for example, in a store. When greeting, you need to smile and look the passerby in the eyes, but only this time. Further, if a stranger asks you what time it is, how to get to the library, or rather, to the mosque, you should answer, modestly looking down.

This is how they live: in the same restaurant in high-rise buildings, a male waiter looks at a female client or a cook, but they don’t look at him.

In the very center of Grozny, directly opposite the “Heart of Chechnya” mosque, there is the only place in the entire republic where people drink openly after sunset.

In the evening, the dress code for women is the same as in the daytime: dresses and skirts - below the knees, preferably to the floor; sleeve - below the elbow. Pants are disguised with a tunic or knee-length jacket; combining them with a blouse is vulgar. No cleavage or bare backs; a cutout at the back of the skirt is not allowed. Hairstyle - if not under a scarf, then at least collected, no loose hair.

But in this restaurant the morals are dissolute,” Rustam continues, “I cannot determine from his gaze his attitude towards “dissolute morals”, since I do not look him in the eyes.

One of its towers is given over to a hotel - but usually fewer people live in it than visit the restaurant at the very top.

The second tower is a business center, but the offices are mostly empty. The rest are like residential buildings, apartments, all purchased, mostly by officials or those close to the authorities for the appearance of filling 18-40-story buildings. But practically no one really lives in them: officials have their own family homes, the meters in the “City” are needed for show. It was here that Depardieu was given an apartment - he sold it and never appeared in the republic again.

If the French actor had stayed, he would have been riding in his tower on a miracle elevator that even Arab sheikhs would envy.

The system of use is amazing. When calling one of the four elevators, the passenger at the bottom presses the number of the desired floor. The system thinks for a few seconds and gives an answer - whether elevator A, B, C or D will arrive. All this is so that women and men do not cross paths again: during one trip, the elevator serves one client and does not pick up others “along the way.”

The Islam elevator took me to a restaurant nicknamed by my escort “a nest of debauchery.” The assortment is wide, but a glass of cheap Krasnodar red dry wine costs the same as a bottle of expensive French champagne.

Here you are allowed to dance in a separate area. Dances are only non-contact, such as Lezginka. Only none of the Chechens were having a blast on the dance floor. Out of all the alcohol, visitors modestly ordered wine.

What brand did you buy yesterday? Don't remember the picture on the label: tree or house? - the senior manager, called to help by the waiters, tried to understand what the guests wanted. - Did the bottle have a cork or a cap?

“I thought there would really be wine there?”

Well, here's to a peaceful sky over Grozny! For the friendship of peoples! - Abdullah suggested, and we clinked glasses of red.

Hanging out in a hotel restaurant is very expensive and not at all interesting. You won't be able to get drunk and act out there - gatherings take place under the supervision of security guards armed with machine guns. So I “moved out” of the complex and found Abdullah for myself.

Abdullah (left) and his friends drink red wine with a barbecue, using cherry juice.

In Chechnya, a woman does not have the right to meet a man on her own: only friends or relatives can introduce them, and these acquaintances have one goal - to create a family. You can’t “just walk” with a man. And before the wedding, all meetings must take place in the presence of someone else.

But there is a loophole for girls - the Internet. Using the Internet, you can make an appointment yourself, without intermediaries. Chechens are on all sorts of websites, all with one goal - to arrange a date.

I found Abdullah through social networks. It seemed like the whole of Putin Avenue, where my friends live, came out to look at him to decide whether he could be trusted with me: on a date, a woman must still obtain permission from those who are looking after her. After half an hour of questioning, my family friends let us go.

First we went to an anti-cafe - the fashion for establishments popular in big cities, where you pay not for the amount of food eaten and drunk, but for the time spent inside, has finally reached Grozny.

Inside there were desperate battles in paper board games, which people ask to be brought from America when the opportunity arises, like jeans once were. This fall's hit is the adventure game "Africa": you need to be the first to create a specific route across the Dark Continent using your ingenuity.

Gambling is prohibited, but here we bet big,” the Chechens at the next table boasted. I couldn’t look at the guys, but I could look at their money. Upon closer inspection, they turned out to be not from the Bank of Russia, but from the “joke bank.”

In Chechnya you can play for money, but only with toy money. The hit of the season is the adventure game “Africa”, imported from America.

In all ordinary cafes the picture is the same: no cigarettes, hookahs, alcohol, or games for money. When we visited all the catering establishments, Abdullah took me to the most promenade place on the very outskirts of Grozny - to the “kebab street”.

This is one continuous row of kebab shops, twenty tents. They grill kebabs from everything except pork, even camels. And they are marinated in a hundred ways, even in kiwi. So here, at the barbecue, how can you avoid being found guilty?

Do you want red or white? - in the tent with the sonorous name “Powerful Juicy Kebab” the choice is more interesting than in “Grozny City” itself.

They grill kebabs from everything except pork, even camels. And they are marinated in a hundred ways, even in kiwi.

Red! Dry if possible! - I was happy.

“We have the same type,” the barbecue man laughed.

Three minutes later they brought us a jug and glasses for whiskey - they didn’t have wine glasses. We poured and clinked glasses for peaceful Grozny and the friendship of peoples. Oh, there’s cherry juice in the glass!

Did you really think there would be wine there? - Abdullah laughed. - No, you can’t have it anywhere, not even on this street, but sometimes you want to have a barbecue. So they came up with a trick: pour juice into glasses. Those who want red - cherry, those who want white - grape. Well, we will!

“Here are the sluts”

She said that she liked the red ball so much, oh, what are they doing! - Ibrahim, with whom his best friend Abdullah introduced me, said tensely. He recommended him as the coolest Chechen in all of Chechnya. If you can find secret nightlife in Grozny, it’s only with him.

At 5 o'clock in the evening, Ibrahim and I were sitting in the most depraved place, according to his many years of observations, in all of Grozny - a restaurant of national Chechen cuisine in the very center of the city, on Putin Avenue. This restaurant was partly a ceremonial restaurant - delegations and important guests are brought here, as in Grozny City, but the prices here are several times lower. And no alcohol.

Every now and then a boy walked past the windows with a bunch of red and white balloons. As soon as three loudly laughing Chechen girls in heels and skirts a millimeter above the knee (the acceptable minimum; two millimeters above the knee and they can honk from the car) came inside, he came in too. The girls approached the Chechen men having lunch, the boy followed them.

What sluts,” Ibrahim commented angrily when he listened to their conversation in Chechen. - One said: “I like the white ball so much.” And the other: “Oh, the red ball is so beautiful.” And the third... There are no censored words! I just asked her to buy her a balloon! They are still laughing! It is generally forbidden for a woman to laugh in the presence of a man!

It turned out that in Grozny there are such spy rules of secrecy that Stirlitz himself would appreciate. Do you remember how he drew Professor Pleischner’s attention to the conditioned signal - a flower pot?

The Chechens have balls. Red, white - not important, these two colors are simply sold on the market. If a Chechen woman says that she likes the ball, and even more so if she openly asks to buy it, then she is of easy morals. This is almost the only way to meet people in person (not via the Internet), without intermediaries in the form of relatives or girlfriends. Only through the ball - directly into the open is still prohibited.

The most desperate carnal love is among Chechen women,” Ibrahim shared at the table, where, according to his assurance, the shaitan was sitting between us, since where there are only two, there he is.

There is Shaitan, but there is no sex. At all. In Chechnya this word is banned. Not even Ibrahim uttered it, who admitted, looking at the debauchery in the cafe, that at 33 he himself was dating six (!) women at the same time and all of them were someone’s second or third wives, so they lacked male attention. Men have two extremes in this regard - Abdullah, at 37, is still waiting for his one and only remains celibate...

Men sat along Putin Avenue on folding stools and wearing skullcaps. As we passed by, one of them stood up, stepped towards us and waved a hefty wad of five thousand dollar bills right in front of my nose. The real ones, not like in an anti-cafe.

This is our currency exchange,” Ibrahim suggested. - There are also exchangers, but locals change the old-fashioned way - on the street. It's fair and safe here. And the course is good. In general, the whole city in the evening is probably the safest in Russia: crime is zero.

In Moscow, ATMs are only in buildings, here - right in the middle of the street, not guarded by anyone, under the cover of a canopy from a former telephone booth or mailbox.

Therefore, I was not at all scared when we saw about twenty bearded young Chechens sitting in the gateway. They jumped up from their stools. They did not have bundles of banknotes in their hands.

“These guys don’t have any money at all,” Ibrahim whispered. - This is the local labor exchange. A lot of young people in the republic are without work. They sit on stools all day in the hope that someone from the market will give them a task - to unload the goods there...

In all of Grozny there are only two secret shops where they sell alcohol after sunset. One of them is in the microdistrict where Ibrahim lives. We made our way to it through dark, secret alleys.

“Here we have a brothel,” Ibrahim pointed out, waving his hand at an inconspicuous cafe by the side of the road.

That's where we need to go! - Never before have I been so close to the secret Chechen nightlife.

“Are you crazy?” my companion was indignant.

It turned out that a brothel in Chechnya is not called a brothel at all (there are none here - neither overt nor secret), but a place where a man and a woman can meet without a boy with a balloon.

A waitress in a cafe or a car wash lady at a car wash quietly writes her phone number on the receipt - and that’s it, consider her yours, since there are no other reasons for getting to know each other except for pleasure, people don’t get acquainted here just like that,” Ibrahim revealed the scheme that he I've used it myself more than once.

We reached a regular grocery store (there are no supermarkets in Grozny either), and then for the first time Ibragim asked me to be quiet and not ask unnecessary questions:

If our last outlet is closed because of you, I’ll die,” he joked.

The store was completely secretive: inside there were ordinary rows with all sorts of goods, a sleepy cashier. Ibrahim said something quietly in Chechen, and the owner came out. He invited us to go through the white door, which seemed to lead to a warehouse...

We entered and the white door was immediately closed behind us. Inside it was guarded by two Chechens, and I felt that we definitely wouldn’t leave here without shopping... There really was an assortment for every taste. On endless shelves from floor to ceiling there are boxes of vodka, beer, whiskey, wine and... And that's all.

We don’t carry exotics like tequila - they don’t take them,” the owner shrugged.

The prices are reasonable: a bottle of vodka - 100 rubles, beer - 50, whiskey - 2500, wine - 250. We took Georgian semi-sweet - there was no other.

While we were trying to find dry red liquor in an underground liquor store, the Chechen owner stood on guard

The owner carefully wrapped the bottle in several black bags, although there are no cameras anywhere in the stores in Grozny. At the checkout we simply said what was inside. The cashier didn’t check, and the owner was no longer around: in secret liquor stores everything is on trust and they don’t give out a receipt.

“After the second sip I started to choke”

Come on, do it,” Murad looked expectantly and nodded approvingly: they say, be bolder. Ibrahim blocked the retreat from behind and motioned towards his cousin. When I did what they wanted, my vision went dark...

They forced me to shake Murad's hand. For four days in Grozny, not a single man touched me, I did not look into the eyes of any of them - and now I felt like a waitress or a washer who wrote her number on a check.

Murad asked for forgiveness and explained that in Vienna, where he, having become a refugee thirteen years ago, lives and studies to become a lawyer, everyone does this - they shake hands and look into each other’s eyes. They even hug, although he hasn’t tried it himself.

To drink wine from a secret liquor store, Ibrahim took me to his cousin Murad, who lives alone: ​​if “secret night clubs” in Grozny are organized, they are not in entrances, not in attics or basements, but in apartments. But they are really secret - no one takes pictures there, does not advertise their pastime on social networks - open drinking is prohibited.

Chechens, if they want to have a blast, go to Pyatigorsk,” Ibrahim revealed all his cards. - This is the most depraved city in the entire Caucasus, everything is possible there.

Frankly, many would like to live in a secular way in Chechnya, but Ramzan does not allow it,” added Murad. - There are many refugees like me in the republic who grew up during the Chechen wars in Europe and saw what life was like there. I come to my native Grozny for two or three months a year to visit my relatives. I have three uncles, three aunts and a grandmother here. Of course, I miss European nightlife; Grozny is depressing.

Even if they are unwritten, there will still be laws,” Ibrahim objected.

To heighten the debauchery, we turned on a music channel that showed modern video clips. Wriggling half-naked girls in Chechnya look completely different in the presence of Chechens. This is the television maximum allowed here, and this is the usual MUZ-TV for us, not in the public domain, but on a paid satellite dish. Porn channels are blocked even on them.

While Ibrahim warmly commented on what he saw, Murad was looking for something to open the Georgian semi-sweet. Even such European Chechens were not used to drinking - there was simply no corkscrew in his house. We pushed the cork with our fingers and a ballpoint pen.

What a wine, what a corkscrew

It was impossible to drink - after one sip my stomach cramped, after the second I began to choke. Ibrahim, with an experienced eye, determined that, most likely, it was a fake, synthetic.

Yes, that’s all Murad said. - Okay, I'll bring you something stronger and safer.

Ten minutes later he returned with two teapots - a teapot and one for boiling water. Yes, in Grozny, as far as I understand, there are no electric kettles: it is believed that a woman should not leave the stove while something is being prepared on it, even tea, and she should not make the housewife’s life easier in this way.

When we poured the wine into the toilet, it turned an acid pink color.

Over tea, Murad complained that he kept a hookah in the house, bought in Vienna, but his friends stole it - they stole everything except one hose.

The only place in the city where you could smoke a hookah was the Damascus cafe on Rosa Luxemburg Street, but it was closed long ago, Ibrahim recalled. - And Kadyrov personally closed the sauna with the girls. We inherited it from Khankala, a Russian military base.

Apart from wine, the rest of our “secret nightclub” in Murad’s apartment was decent: we sat at different ends of the room, did not dance, did not laugh.

Could I come here in a miniskirt? - I asked the guys.

You wouldn’t have gotten there and you wouldn’t have gotten there,” they said without hesitation. - Yes, and at home we wouldn’t let you change your clothes: we love women, but we don’t want them to behave in our presence the way they do in the cafe on Putin Avenue. Laughing in the presence of men, a skirt above the knees is out of the question.

Would you let a Chechen woman drink like me?

No! Never! - the brothers got excited. - A drinking woman is a shame! We allowed you only because you are not ours, not Chechen, because you yourself asked to buy this wine. If you hadn’t asked, we would never have offered it to you in your life. That’s why, in fact, we don’t have either secret or obvious nightclubs: women have nothing to do there, and without them it’s not interesting. And don’t forget that you can’t get acquainted without intermediaries, and the main goal of any nightclub is to get acquainted.

For the second time that evening I felt like a girl asking me to buy a balloon.

But there are no rapes in Chechnya,” Murad changed the topic.

“It’s not true,” Ibrahim disagreed. - There are cases, but they do not reach the police, they are ahead of the law of blood feud. If a Chechen woman is raped, her relatives will force her to either marry or pay off. If it turns out that she was a virgin, she will be killed immediately.

We quickly finished our tea - at exactly 23.00 I had to be returned home, this is the deadline before which in Chechnya a woman is allowed to go for a walk. On the way, Ibrahim asked me to chew gum: if the Chechens, friends of my family, had smelled that I smelled of alcohol, albeit synthetic, they would not have allowed me to enter the door.

Having returned from the least crowded and decent “night club” in my life, I kept wondering what they do at night, these Chechens, if everything, absolutely everything is prohibited here, and alcohol is made from acetone.

Rustam is raising two sons, Abdullah is nursing his niece and dreams of his own daughter, Ibrahim and Murad are also busy with business.

Once, officials calculated that the birth rate in Grozny is twice the Russian average, and in Chechnya the same number of children are born per year as in St. Petersburg. Although the city on the Neva is five times larger in population than the chaste republic.

I am a Chechen who grew up in Moscow. Due to my environment and easy access to information, especially books by philosophers, I very quickly realized that our family was different from the families of the children around me. Since childhood, my parents convinced me that the way we live is correct and decent, that the Chechens are the best people (in principle, nationalism is characteristic of peoples with a small population, which, by the way, does not justify them at all), and all that I see around - it's wrong. Basically, there are many aspects. I'll just write the facts. I hope no explanation of what this means is needed.

1. Even if your brother is younger than you, you must obey him. Why? Simply because he has a Y set of chromosomes, and you don’t.

2.You are required to “cover” your head, wear only knee-length skirts and long-sleeved sweaters. No one cares about your preferences, if you don’t follow the rules = you’re not Chechen. When this will be demanded of you depends on how mature you look, where you live, how conservative your father is (for a mother's opinion is considered nothing compared to a father's) and where you are going. If, heaven forbid, you see a relative/acquaintance (which, in general, is the same thing, since Chechens generally marry only people of their own nationality, which is why every Chechen is in some way connected with another), then this will soon spread throughout the Chechen diaspora, although no one should care about how you walk. As Schopenhauer said: “Whoever attaches great importance to the opinions of people does them too much honor.” However, in a Chechen, the most important thing for a person is the opinion of others about him.

3.You should always stand up and show your respect if someone older/same age as you enters the room. It doesn’t matter what you are doing: eating, writing a dissertation, doing chest compressions - you must get up, otherwise you will definitely be reproached for bad manners and severely scolded at home.

4.You cannot communicate in any way with people of the opposite sex. Especially with the Russians. My parents/relatives, if I join some new team, always ask me: “Well, have you met a lot of good girls?” Boys are a priori excluded. The maximum who can know that you are communicating with them is your mother.

5.Women sit separately from men (again, excluding “our own”). It is believed that men have “masculine themes,” and women, accordingly, have “feminine themes.” Also, men may swear, which is considered “unacceptable” for female hearing.

6.You need education in order to get married better. And in general, everything you do - take care of your appearance, do the things you love, strive for education - all this is necessary only so that when you are looking for a wife, you stand above other “goods”. No matter how passionately you feel about, say, science, no one will care that you want to get at least a PhD first. Family should be your main goal in life, even if you disagree.

7. Men can date before marriage, including with girls of a different nationality, while the maximum that girls can do is go on a date with the partner proposed by their parents and relatives, together with friends/sisters/little brother (or any other male under 10 years of age) to prevent people from saying that you did something “indecent and undignified” on your date. If you ask why this is so, they will only answer “well, they are guys, they need to have fun.” Nobody cares that girls want to have relationships just like guys.

8. The most important thing about you is your “honor” or, in other words, your virginity. Absolutely everyone talks about this girl. If you are “unclean”, then no one will marry you. Therefore, widows/divorced women (which is very rare, because it is considered a disgrace for a woman’s family) are treated as if they are second-class people.

9. It is very important that a woman is healthy both physically and mentally. If she has any autoimmune diseases or serious mental disorders, then she is considered marginal and subhuman, a backup option (the second, in fact, is characteristic not only of Chechens, but also of the majority). At the same time, no one particularly takes into account personal qualities.

10.You cannot invite any of your relatives to the wedding. You have to stand all day at this wild party with your eyes downcast, without eating or even drinking. Or, in short, to be a kind of “trophy” for everyone to see. At this time, your future husband will be at the bachelor party with his friends, having fun and drinking.

11.You are never really allowed to go for a walk, much less spend the night, while your brothers can be absent at least every day. The SRY gene gives them a significant advantage.

12.You don’t even have to think about education abroad. This is possible only in three cases:

I)You have a husband.

II) Your family is moving with you.

III)You have adult close relatives there.

In any other case, the road there is closed.

13.You don't have the right to talk about things you like if they are intellectual. I remember once I corrected one of my relatives when he said that there are only 7 galaxies, which is equal to the lucky number for Muslims. I told him that there are at least 100-200 billion galaxies. After this event, I was taken aside and told that a girl should not be smarter than a man or show knowledge in any way. To sum up the conversation, your individuality must be washed away and remade. You must be quiet, modest and obedient, taking care of your family first and then your husband's family.

14. Most sports will be closed to you after 14 years. And this is even in the most liberal families. You don’t have to dream about such things as basketball, volleyball, horse riding and more. This is initially not a particularly feminine activity, which, moreover, is carried out in “inappropriate” clothes, showing “too much.”

15. If you somehow try to resist these rules, then in the end:

a) They beat you and “set you on the right path”

b) They kill (if you have violated something serious. For example, committed treason)

d) Expelled from society. You are no longer part of the family. Nobody will talk to you. You no longer exist/exist only in mothers' damning stories for their daughters.

Everything I have listed is just the main part.

In the end, I want to say that Chechen women live in an environment of complete sexism, in the style of the Middle Ages, while outside they see a different, modern life. There is both bad and good news about this. At the moment, Chechen youth are divided into two groups: more liberal people who understand that such a life only leads to the worse, and those who fiercely defend the position of their ancestors.

Those who live in other cities/countries are forced to choose between their beliefs, the beliefs of society and the beliefs of their homeland, which is very unfortunate.

P.S. Oh yes, it’s better to choose a “female” profession, such as a doctor.

The way you live is correct and decent, the Chechens are the best people, and everything you see around you is wrong. And dirty Russian pigs don’t care to communicate with clean Chechen virgins! Continue in the same spirit! The Caucasus is power!

Good day to all! I am Chechen! My name is Kheda, I was born and raised, I have lived in Chechnya all my life! My father is a mountain Chechen, and my mother is Russian. I want to say right away that I have never talked to guys of a different nationality, my brothers would have simply killed me for that. I want to talk about our Vainakhs, since our guys often communicate with girls of other nations and deceive them. You know, I really feel bad for the girls, I swear, when I see how our men treat them. I'm not talking about all Chechens, I'm talking about the majority. There are many stories on the forum where Russian girls communicated with Chechens, tolerated their temper for years, even forgave assault, and then these guys married their Chechen girlfriends and broke the girls’ hearts. Girls, my dears, I ask you, you shouldn’t waste your nerves on a Chechen. Not a single guy is worth forgiving beatings, betrayals... It’s just that our guys, they rarely take Slavic women seriously, most just fool the girls’ heads... Rarely in any cases do our guys marry someone other than Vain. And they lie that “my parents are against it” and that “my parents got me married.” Nobody forcibly marries guys anymore. This hasn't happened for a long time. The guy is a ram, do you think that you can take him and marry him?! Even a girl is rarely forced into marriage, but there is no such thing about guys in general. It’s just a standard excuse when a guy hangs noodles on a Russian girl!
The second point is that guys allow themselves to raise their hands on a woman. For me this is completely unforgivable. If a guy, meeting a Vainashka, had even laid a finger on her, he would have been buried alive among us! Such things are not forgiven here. After the wedding, this could happen, although there is also a possibility that if the brothers find out, they will take the girl home and beat him themselves! If our guys behave this way towards you, don’t allow it. You shouldn't forgive people like that, they don't change. Once he raised his hand, he doesn’t respect you or your family, and you shouldn’t forgive such a person, much less dream of marrying him. RUN.
Don't let anyone treat you like that, that's my advice. If a guy loves you, he will marry, even though the whole world will be against it. And if he excuses himself, raises his hand, cheats on you, then he doesn’t love you. And you shouldn’t waste your nerves or your health on such a man. Believe me, girls, you are alone, but there are many guys and you will find someone worthy of you.
My opinion is that it is better to marry your nation, because your own is always closer. If you marry a Vainakh guy or just a Muslim, you will have to completely rebuild your life. What is normal for a Russian is not normal for a Chechen and vice versa. Are you ready to change the religion you grew up in for the sake of your loved one? Change your entire lifestyle? Leave old habits? This is very, very difficult, I know since my mother is Russian and I saw how she suffered throughout her life, I would not wish such a fate on anyone!
Now I’ll tell you why I think so.
My mother got married at 17 years old. She met her father when she was 15. Dad was 26 years old when they met. He worked in the city where my mother lived. I came, saw her, fell in love. Mom was very beautiful, and is still beautiful! Light, naturally blonde, she had very long curly hair and huge blue eyes with a violet tint. Well, just like a doll, I sometimes envy even when I look at her photos in her youth. My dad was an athlete, he wrestled all his life, tall, strong, dark-haired, brown eyes. Before my mother, he was married and had a son, he has a difficult character, so his first wife (a Chechen) couldn’t stand it and left! Mom was studying at school, dad saw her by chance and looked after her, he looked after her very nicely, gave flowers and gifts. Mom fell in love with him because she had never communicated with anyone before, and then such a man began to court him, a wealthy, athlete. Her parents (my grandparents) were very against their relationship, because dad is 10 years older, and also not Russian. They were afraid for their daughter. They said that he would take a walk and quit, they didn’t let him go to meetings, they locked the house - everything was useless. Mom jumped out through the first floor window and still went on dates. Her father even beat her hard to keep her at home. When my dad found out about this, he came to talk to my grandfather so that he wouldn’t touch my mother again, but my grandfather didn’t even let him into the house. As a result, my father had to go back and he kidnapped my mother to marry her when she was leaving school. He just threw him into the car and took him to Grozny. There were many proceedings later with the police, my father was put on the wanted list, but he still did not give up my mother. He brought it to his parents (they all lived together in a big house). Of course, his parents were against it, very much against it, they even told him to return the girl home and promised to find him a good Chechen girl, but dad was adamant.
As a result, my mother was accepted, she got married and converted to Islam. At first it was very difficult for her, because she was just a girl, and her mother-in-law was unhappy and hated her. Even once, my father’s mother locked my mother in the basement in the winter so that she would freeze, but then she felt ashamed. My father did not let my mother study further; he closed the house. She very much regretted that she married her father, he was jealous of her, did not allow her to go out alone, once her mother went to the store without a scarf, and the neighbors saw it. When dad found out, he hit her. Even when they were invited to a wedding, and my mother went out to dance, he later hit her at home for this. He said she would do this one more time and he would kill her. Many Chechens are very jealous and possessive. If it's mine, it's mine. That's what they think. Mom forgot to wear trousers and began to wear only below-the-knee shorts and floor-length dresses. All the neighbors were discussing her, because she was Russian, a lot of bad luck was said about her mother, they made up gossip!
They even wanted to marry my father again to a Chechen woman, although he was already married to my mother, they just blatantly tried to set me up with someone. And one person (a Chechen woman) almost hung herself on his neck, although she knew that he was married. Mom suffered a lot from all the people and ruined her health. She got married and has been putting up with her father’s family and my dad all her life. They have a very different mentality, and my mother was raised differently than a Chechen, which seemed strange to her normally. Perhaps if her father had not taken her away by force, her life would have turned out differently. He really ruined her life, and he himself could have been much happier without all these problems if he had listened to his parents and married a Chechen!
His mother raised his son from his first marriage and gave birth to three more children. I have a younger sister and brother. I love my family very much, and I’m glad that my parents are such wonderful people, but I really think that if they weren’t so stubborn, they could be much happier!
We, their children, grew up seeing scandals, seeing assault in the family and disrespect of the mother-in-law for the daughter-in-law! If my mother were Chechen, Vainashka, my father would not behave like that with her, because he would know about the consequences! My dad always says that he will kill anyone who lays even a finger on me, but this is how he treats my mother.
I hope this story will be instructive for many Russian beauties who communicate with the Vainakhs! Girls, I beg you, think, it’s really very difficult, do you really want such a fate for yourself?! It will be much easier with a guy of your own nationality, believe me, my dears. I wish every girl only the best, my dears. Think a hundred times before tying yourself into a relationship, let alone marriage, with a Muslim man.