How to forget a bad memory. How to forget the past: three ways

There are enough problems and difficulties in life that we have to
decide every day, and there is not always time left for joy and
strength. But at the same time, each of us has our own past failures.
or even violent situations that can poison for years
life.

If it happened in the past divorce, he will definitely play his role
in new love. If you ever Got fired, you still have a long time
You will be nervous at every complaint from your superiors. If
had to work hard to earn bread and didn't have enough money, You
It won’t be long before you decide to make an expensive purchase.

To the very difficult situations applies loss of loved ones, accidents and catastrophes, serious illnesses and addictions, including loved ones. You can’t do this without the help of a specialist, but many bad memories can be erased from your memory on your own.

Method 1. Memory diary

Whatever one may say, there are stories that cannot be forgotten at all. Due to the fact that a lot of time was spent on them, people dear to us took part in them, and in general - it was in our lives, and she was alone. But you can separate all this from the present and return, as if you were watching a movie, where the hero is similar to you, but a different person.

Set aside a separate time for suffering about the past. You can describe your feelings in a special file or blog and allow yourself any anger, bitterness, tears and sadness. Experiencing this from the heart, you will soon lose interest in old stories, because it’s impossible to watch the same movie every day and not get bored.

Method 2. Farewell ritual

On Maslenitsa we say goodbye to the cold and long winter to welcome the joy and freshness of spring. The same cold and inhospitable periods happen in life, and you can and should say goodbye to them for the sake of a beautiful future.

To say goodbye to bad things forever, you need to collect everything that you are terribly tired of- you can do this symbolically by putting in a box photographs of your ex-husband, cheap things that you had to wear due to lack of money (even if you are still afraid to buy something decent), employment contracts with old job and other reminders. Leave it all in a visible place and visit your old life with the understanding that this is in the past.

Method 3. Substitution of events

No, this does not mean that you should deceive yourself and convince yourself that nothing bad happened. But it happens that we remember a difficult story only because it is the most vivid memory. This is really a property of memory. However, all that was left of her in reality was this terrible picture.

You need a different story, equally bright, but positive. To do this, you will have to try, achieve a difficult goal with a bright result (buy a car, do the splits, do crazy repairs), in general, do something extraordinary for yourself. Would such a person want to remember some old failures - he already has something to be proud of and something to rejoice in in his new life.

Method 4. Stop lights

We return to the old thing because we want to replay it again - not to make mistakes, to finish what we didn’t say, to correct something - in a word, to live the same story again. However, the very attempt to find oneself again difficult situation already seems strange.

The problem is that we consider ourselves guilty of those terrible events and cannot realize that and with good people bad things happen. Is it worth returning to them? What is lived is lived, and we behaved as best we could at that moment. Sometimes it’s enough to just stop yourself in the place where you wanted to relive the past. Come up with conditioned signals for yourself - pinch, spit over your shoulder, say something out loud.

Method 5. Real return

Closing the page and completing the story sometimes helps if allow yourself to return to where it is impossible to return. The forbidden fruit is sweet and we are drawn to the bad past, because it is so sad to think that time cannot be turned in the other direction.

Make sure the sadness isn't worth it. Call ex-husband and understand that he is the person you divorced, not the one you fell in love with. Interview former colleagues, and they will immediately tell you that since you were fired, everything has only gotten worse. It's good that all this is already in your past.

Method 6: Final analysis

You need to be mentally prepared for this method or use it in combination with some other method. Saying goodbye to the past essentially happens at the moment when you calmly accept everything that happened to you, not as horror and a nightmare, and especially not as a cross that you are obliged to bear, but as an event that has explanations and which gave you experience.

Everyone has their own bumps, but in other words, without our past we wouldn’t be who we are, and a bad past doesn’t make you worse, but it sure does can do better - smarter, more experienced, stronger, kinder and softer, or, conversely, more resiliently, in order to protect oneself. Accept and love yourself again- this means living in the present moment and enjoying it without looking back at the bad past.

In every person's life there are things or incidents that he would like to forget. But the memory doesn’t want to let go of these bad memories. These memories are so deeply embedded in the brain that my head can’t get rid of them. So how do you forget the past when it doesn’t want to go away? What methods should you use to erase from your head what is not needed? How to clear your head of debris? More on that below!

It is usually said that as long as a person lives in the past, the future is closed to him. And in general, while a person lives in the past or future, he is not in the present, and if a person does not live in the present, then he is not happy. If you are happy now, then you are definitely living in the present. Therefore, it is simply necessary to get rid of past memories, otherwise the door to a happy future is closed for you.

Why do you think a person remembers some events clearly and for a long time, while forgetting others instantly? It's all about emotions. Man is first and foremost an emotional being. And if one event caused a powerful surge of emotions, then this event is fixed in memory for a long time or forever. Those events that do not evoke any emotions are quickly forgotten. And if you can’t forget something now, it means that something has caused strong emotions in you, and negative ones at that. It could be disappointment, resentment, and so on. This is what stuck in your head.

Forgetting the past on purpose is almost impossible. After all, when you consciously try to forget something, you thereby only remind yourself of some situation. Now, if I tell you - don’t think about the pink elephant - what will you think about? Probably about a pink elephant. In this case, the same thing happens. Hence the conclusion: The harder we try to forget something, the better we remember it.

How to forget the past?

It happens that certain things, people, and even familiar places in the city prevent us from forgetting the past. Whatever one may say, as long as all this is nearby, it will be difficult to forget the past. For example, you experienced a difficult breakup with a girlfriend or boyfriend. You really want to forget her or him. But as long as there is something that reminds you of her or his existence, you won’t be able to forget. Therefore, the first and correct step would be getting rid of things that remind you of something negative, which you want to get rid of.

Try to avoid a place in the city where some negative event has occurred. Perhaps your loved one abandoned you at a cafe, or you were robbed on Tverskaya Street, or something else that is better not to remember. Go around these places until you forget the past. Over time, it will become easier and you will again be able to walk calmly where something unpleasant happened to you.

Second tip - just wait. As they say: time heals. This is true. Any emotion, no matter whether it is positive or negative, is still replaced by another. There is no consistency in this case. Time will pass and you will stop remembering any unpleasant event. You just need to survive for a while and everything will calm down on its own.

The next option is rethink the past so that it no longer seems negative. It's no secret that negative experiences are more memorable than positive ones. And many people believe that they are more unlucky than lucky. Actually this is not true. In the case of a negative event, try to make it stop causing you negative emotions and be considered a failure.

For example, you were fired from your job, say seven years ago. You were very worried about this then. But after your dismissal, you were forced to open your own business and start working for yourself. Now you have a luxurious dacha, a car, and so on. What would happen to you today if you had not been fired seven years ago? Now we would go to work with a salary of 20,000 rubles, we would not have such a beautiful car, a dacha and the opportunity to relax. Therefore, that day should be considered successful.

Another example, your boyfriend dumped you! And what? It was as if the world had come together like a wedge on him. By the way, a crowd of other guys have already lined up around you who found out about this. You simply don’t notice them because you are suffering from a breakup. You see how the past interferes with the present, and therefore the future. So, I know many stories when girls did not hide the fact that after a difficult breakup they met the guy of their dreams, whom they later married. They, just like you, believed that they would never meet anyone else and that they would remain alone for the rest of their lives. Hell no! Everything was fine for them afterwards, and now they live happily and in harmony.

I know that now it’s hard for you to see something good when everything seems terrible, but time will pass, and you will see for yourself. And now take a piece of paper and start writing positive sides in what happened. Who knows how your life would turn out tomorrow if you had not received this experience today.

What helps most people forget the past is a change of scenery. As I already said, it is better for you to avoid those places that remind you of something. If you take a vacation and fly to another country, you are guaranteed to forget the past. It will be very nice if you can be distracted during your vacation. During your holiday you can have a pleasant and cheerful company, which with its positivity will not let you think about the bad. This happened to me personally, and this can happen to you. A change of environment is almost like starting life from scratch.

The next way is keep yourself busy with something like that. Stop harping on the same thing, it's already over. It's time to think about the future. and start achieving it. In the process, the brain thinks about only one thing -. He doesn't care about the rest. So take advantage of this unique moment.

And now most powerful way forget the past. This method is aimed not at forgetting it, but at remembering it. What I mean? There is a science called dianetics. So, her technique is very simple. You need to close your eyes and mentally move and experience that negative event until it stops causing emotions in you. You replay an event in your head from beginning to end many times. In this way, you will erase engrams (such as programs associated with an event) in your head. Give yourself two hours of time and start experiencing that unpleasant event many times. At the end of the session, you will feel much better, and you will simply be too lazy to think about that event (thought it up).

That's all I wanted to say in the article. “How to forget the past?”. And remember, no matter what happens to you, everything in your life will be just great. Good luck to you!

how to forget the past

Every person has had things happen in their life that they don’t want to remember. Numerous betrayals and disappointments, illnesses and deaths of loved ones, complete failure in a career, shame and misunderstanding - you want to throw all this out of your head and never remember it again.

But our brain is designed in such a way that some particularly vivid memories, often of a negative nature, remain and constantly remind us of ourselves. This can have a negative impact on the present and prevent you from moving on.

In this case, you want to forget the past forever and start thinking about the future. It’s interesting that it’s impossible to predict which memories will fade over time and which ones will torment you for a long time.

Consciously forgetting the past

To get rid of unpleasant memories, it is first important to “ don't get hung up" On this. The more we try to forget something, the more we think about it. Therefore, to get rid of bad memories, you should simply not think about them.

If events are associated with certain people and places, then it is important to change your place of residence and limit communication with certain people. In other words, it is important to protect yourself from everything that may remind you of the troubles that happened.

If we're talking about about a difficult breakup between lovers, it is important to hide or throw away all joint photographs and gifts. Try not to visit places where spending time together was especially frequent. Don’t think that because of this you will have to limit yourself to such things for the rest of your life.

Restrictions are needed only for the first time, while the memories are still reflected by the aching pain in the chest. Over time, when emotional feelings about this give way to indifference, you can safely take out the hidden things and visit the above public institutions.

When it hurts a lot, we distort memories

How to forget your bad past forever? The answer may be disappointing, but it is impossible. It is possible to completely forget your past life only in case of amnesia, but this option is unlikely to suit an adequate person. If memories persist, it may be worth rethinking them to understand what exactly is causing the resentment and bitterness of disappointment.

But in order not to go deeper into a depressive state, it is important to look for positive or neutral moments in these memories, and try to concentrate all possible attention on them. This will allow you to turn unpleasant memories into positive emotions in the future.

Memories are all that remains to us from the past. Two same event different people can remember to the point of the opposite. It all depends on the emotions that a person experiences at the time of the incident.

And if you constantly remember certain things, slightly distorting them, then over time it will seem that the distorted version was actually real. This feature of our brain is worth taking advantage of if you want a certain event to be positive in the future.

Coolness as endurance training

How to forget your negative past forever or turn it into a positive future? To resolve this issue, you can try using composure. That is, mentally experience an exciting situation, but see yourself as an indifferent third party. This is the only way to calmly look at it from the outside and try to reduce the negative aspects that haunt you.

If the experiences are so strong that even mentally thinking about the current incident causes unbearable pain, then you can safely praise yourself. Forcing yourself to relive memories again is very important step to eliminate negativity.

This is a kind of subconscious training to sharpen willpower and perseverance. Over time, grieving during mental experiences will get boring, and the brain will push the exciting situation into the background.

Forgetting unrequited love

All people are capable of experiencing sincere feelings, and many open up to each other in these feelings. Accordingly, any person at least once in his life experienced a sad feeling of betrayal on the part of those people to whom he opened up.

How to forget a past and such an unhappy love? If the emotions were not strong, then the person is almost immediately distracted by extraneous things in the form of work, hobbies and entertainment. Some even manage to build new relationships right away.

But what to do when the attachment to the betrayed person is so strong that there is no desire to move on?

The following steps for removing the “needle” from the heart are more suitable for the female half of the population, although some men can also use them:

• Firstly, you can mope for several days, drown in depression and memories, look at photos together and shed tears over gifts (girls love to strangle toys given by former friends with bitter hugs - after all, they are not to blame for anything);
• Secondly, when you get tired of crying about your own worthlessness and uselessness to anyone, the time will come for especially persistent self-care. Masks, gels, creams, manicures, pedicures, makeup and hairstyles - all this will help you remember who is really the victim of the situation, and who urgently needs a comforting hug. But in order to find a willing chosen one, it is important to look the part.

The bad past doesn't leave you alone

It happens that in the past actions were committed that led to catastrophic consequences in the form of a nervous breakdown, loss of friends or the affection of loved ones. Things have already been done, and the past cannot be changed. But how can you forget significant mistakes from your past if they last for long years won't they leave you alone?

It is important to reconsider the situation and understand your mistakes so as not to make them in the future. Then you need to try to change yourself, if this is important for the location of loved ones and important people. At the same time, we must not forget about our own psychological state.

It is not uncommon when, as a result of such mistakes and subconscious changes in oneself better side, confidence in own strength, and is replaced by numerous complexes.

If in the past there were serious problems in society, then in the future a complex of isolation may remain. This is a common protective reaction of the body - to protect itself from communication so that there is no risk of repeating the mistake.

You can’t reproach yourself too much for your actions. We need to calmly consider the shortcomings that led to negative consequences and carefully replace them with other behavioral traits. You shouldn’t completely give up communicating with people, because man is a social being, and without communication with the public it will be very difficult.

There have been periods in every person's life that they would like to erase from their memory. Some, despite all the difficulties, pull themselves together and switch to new level, only occasionally remembering the shocks that have occurred, others cannot help but constantly think about the past, thereby depriving themselves of the chance to be happy in the present and future. No matter what burden of the past haunts you: parting with a loved one, missed opportunities, death of loved ones, betrayal of friends, guilt... Now is the time to forget the past forever and start living in the present. How to stop living in the past?

Don't think about the past: why doesn't it let us go?

Many people wonder: why do some people, having experienced very serious shocks and trials, recover quickly enough and begin new life, while others fall into long-term depression and cannot stop living in the past after the unsuccessful end of a two-month affair?

Psychology can give answers to this; a lot here depends on age, the atmosphere in which a person lived in childhood, on the type of character and personality. And, even if you consider yourself to be a weak type who takes any life trials to heart, it does not mean that you are not able to cope on your own and not think about the past.

Most often, we cannot forget the past and live in the present, because we feel guilty for the current situation, we are tormented by thoughts that we could have acted differently - and thereby change the ending...

...Sometimes the past does not let us forget about itself, because we do not let go of past grievances, we believe that we were treated unfairly.

Our bad memories are like a suitcase with useless junk that we habitually carry with us everywhere... Do you need such a load?

...And sometimes we can’t forget the past and live in the present because we like this state of self-pity, we are not ready to change, grow, we feel comfortable sitting in our shell, cherishing our grief, closing ourselves off from the entire world around us. This is such masochism. How can you change the situation and start enjoying life again?

How to forget the past and start living in the present: 5 steps to a happy life

Healing from old wounds is a complex and often long process, but no matter what lies behind us, each of us can stop living in the past. Here are the steps that will help you get rid of your worries forever:

1. First step- realize that the past is past, that it is thoughts about it that prevent you from living fully in the present and planning the future. Of course, this is not easy to do, but do you really want to breathe deeply again?

2. Step two- Sorry. Now it doesn’t matter who is to blame for what happened in the past, and who caused the offense: you or those who offended you. It is impossible to turn back time, everything has already been done, and your suffering today will not change the accomplished fact. Mentally ask for forgiveness or forgive, you can go to church. If you have offended someone and know how to contact them, you can call and apologize. That's all. Turn the page. People have the right to make mistakes: you and your loved ones are no exception. If you think that what you did earlier is too serious or you have no one to apologize to, switch to caring about others. You can't change what happened, but you can help others and make their lives better. Volunteering in orphanages, nursing homes or homeless animal shelters - think in this direction.

3. Step three– don’t be sorry. Regret about missed opportunities, wasted time, broken relationships is the road to nowhere. Regrets, as well as self-pity, are generally extremely destructive feelings. Try to look at the situation from a different point of view: you have gained experience, you have learned from your mistakes, you will no longer allow this situation to happen in your life. And guess what? By suffering and constantly feeling sorry for yourself, you destroy not only your life, but also the lives of your loved ones, who find it difficult to see you in this state. Don't you feel sorry for them?

4. Step four- reboot. If the pain is still fresh, you are bursting with negative emotions from within, do not try to be strong, allow yourself to scream, cry, break a cup in the end for one day. You can go to the gym and furiously beat the punching bag. Throw out the pain - this will make it easier to forget the past and start living in the present.

5. Step five– replacement rule. Think about how much time and energy you waste on empty things - not letting go of past grievances and feeling sorry for yourself. Instead, you could change for the better. To begin with, you can go to the salon, change your hair color, get a manicure, radically change your image, or finally start searching. Sign up for driving courses, study foreign language, handicrafts. And most importantly, go in for sports. Yoga is great for getting rid of unnecessary thoughts. If you take on new interests and hobbies in your life, there will simply be no room left for regret and thoughts about the burden of the past.

In general, it seems to me that one of the most effective ways forget the past- clear physical space around you: , spend (read where p led me), organize little things like books and... Letting things go past life You can literally physically feel how your life is changing!

Getting rid of the burden of the past and letting go of past grievances is much easier than you think now, the main thing is to start acting right now. In just a few days you will be drawn into a new, happy and interesting life.

Every person in his life has moments that he wants to forget about and never return to the memories of them. Unfortunately, the human structure is very complex, and throwing out all negative memories from consciousness is not as easy as we would like. Memories continue to haunt us whether we want it or not and can come flooding back at the most unexpected and inopportune moment, preventing us from perceiving real world, in which everything is fine with us, which is filled with positivity and there are no prerequisites for feeling bad. Instead of living a full life, we return to memories over and over again and relive those moments in which we were hurt and bad.

Is it possible to somehow correct the situation? If yes, then, poisoning our lives?

Human thoughts and memories are stored in the human mind in the form of a kind of “vinaigrette”, mixed up and without a clear structure. They are not something specific, like separate blocks and segments of information. So maybe you can do something to structure the memory, and then remove all the load from it negative memories? It's actually possible. Moreover, this can be done without resorting to complex techniques, alcohol or even drugs. All that is required of you is to devote a few minutes every day to special exercises, and very soon you will be able to make sure that not a trace remains of your bad memories.

Exercise 1.

Make yourself comfortable in a chair or bed. There is no importance to any particular posture. The main thing is that you feel comfortable and that your attention is not distracted by anything for several minutes. You can close your eyes, you can keep them open - it doesn’t matter either. Take a few deep breaths and completely relax the muscles of your face, shoulders, and chest. The exercise is completed.

Exercise 2.

Try to imagine your problem in the form of some kind of collective image. Concentrate on what exactly you want to throw out of yours forever and try to imagine it in the form of some kind of image. Don't try to strain yourself to get the clearest picture of perfect quality. It is enough that you understand what exactly you are seeing. You can understand how well you have completed the task assigned to you in a simple way- if you did everything correctly, the image created by your efforts will cause strong negative feelings in you.

Take a close look at your picture, “attach” an adjustment knob to it, such as on receivers or televisions, and try to mentally reach out to it. When you succeed, start rotating the imaginary knob, smoothly reduce the sound of the image you created to zero. Then do the same manipulation with the contrast of the image, and then with it, ensuring that it becomes a silent black spot. There's no need to rush. On the contrary, do everything as smoothly as possible, and when the picture you created disappears, try to get rid of even the background on which it was located. When you succeed, you can consider the exercise finished.

Exercise 3.

Another way to how to forget bad memories consists of placing the visualization you have created in some room in which many lamps and lamps are burning. Start turning them off one by one gradually and without haste until they are completely turned off. The main thing in this exercise, as in the previous one, is not to rush, recording each step in your consciousness.

As you can see for yourself, there is nothing complicated in the proposed exercises and everyone can do them. Do them for several days for 15-20 minutes, and very soon you will notice that your bad memories have become dull and no longer evoke the same memories in you as before. They will practically stop disturbing you, and if they return from time to time, you will no longer react so violently to them.