This word cannot be translated. But it can and must be explained. "Nokhcho" means Chechen. The concept of “nokhchalla” is all the features of the Chechen character in one word. This includes the entire spectrum of moral, moral and ethical standards of life for a Chechen. One could also say that this is the Chechen "code of honor."

A child in a traditional Chechen family absorbs the qualities of a knight, a gentleman, a diplomat, a courageous defender and a generous, reliable comrade, as they say, “with mother’s milk.” And the origins of the Chechen “code of honor” are in the ancient history of the people.

Once upon a time, in ancient times, in the harsh conditions of the mountains, a guest who was not accepted into the house could freeze, lose strength from hunger and fatigue, or become a victim of robbers or a wild animal. The law of the ancestors - to invite into the house, warm, feed and offer overnight accommodation to the guest - is observed sacredly. Hospitality is "nokhchallah". Roads and paths in the mountains of Chechnya are narrow, often snaking along cliffs and rocks. Having a row or arguing can lead to falling into the abyss. Being polite and compliant is “nokhchalla”. The difficult conditions of mountain life made mutual assistance and mutual assistance necessary, which are also part of “nokhchalla”. The concept of “nokhchalla” is incompatible with the “table of ranks”. Therefore, the Chechens never had princes or slaves.

“Nokhchalla” is the ability to build relationships with people without in any way demonstrating one’s superiority, even when in a privileged position. On the contrary, in such a situation you should be especially polite and friendly so as not to hurt anyone’s pride. So, a person riding a horse should be the first to greet someone on foot. If the pedestrian is older than the rider, the rider must dismount.

“Nokhchalla” is friendship for life: in days of sadness and in days of joy. Friendship for a mountaineer is a sacred concept. Inattention or discourtesy towards a brother will be forgiven, but towards a friend - never!

"Nokhchalla" is a special veneration of a woman. Emphasizing respect for the relatives of his mother or his wife, the man dismounts his horse right at the entrance to the village where they live. And here is a parable about a highlander who once asked to spend the night in a house on the outskirts of a village, not knowing that the owner was alone at home. She could not refuse the guest, she fed him and put him to bed. The next morning the guest realized that there was no owner in the house, and the woman had been sitting all night in the hallway by a lit lantern. While washing his face in a hurry, he accidentally touched his mistress’s hand with his little finger. Leaving the house, the guest cut off this finger with a dagger. Only a man brought up in the spirit of “nokhchalla” can protect a woman’s honor in this way.

"Nokhchalla" is the rejection of any coercion. Since ancient times, a Chechen has been brought up as a protector, a warrior, from his boyhood. The most ancient type of Chechen greeting, preserved to this day, is “come free!” The inner feeling of freedom, the readiness to defend it - this is “nokhchalla”.

At the same time, “nokhchalla” obliges the Chechen to show respect to any person. Moreover, the further a person is by kinship, faith or origin, the greater the respect. People say: the offense you inflicted on a Muslim can be forgiven, for a meeting on the Day of Judgment is possible. But an insult caused to a person of a different faith is not forgiven, for such a meeting will never happen. To live with such sin forever.

Wedding ceremony

The Chechen word “wedding” means “game”. The wedding ceremony itself is a series of performances that include singing, dancing, music, and pantomime. Music sounds when fellow villagers, relatives, and friends go for the bride and bring her to the groom’s house. There are other performances that take place at this stage of the wedding. For example, the bride's relatives delay the wedding train by blocking the path with a cloak or a rope stretched across the street - you need to pay a ransom to get through.

Other pantomimes take place already in the groom's house. A felt carpet and a broom are placed in advance on the threshold of the house. When entering, the bride can step over them or move them out of the way. If she tidies up neatly, it means she’s smart; if he steps over, it means the guy is out of luck. But the bride, festively dressed, was seated in a corner of honor by the window under a special wedding curtain, and then she was given a child in her arms—someone’s first-born son. This is a wish for her to have sons. The bride caresses the child and gives him something as a gift. Guests come to the wedding with gifts. Women give pieces of cloth, rugs, sweets, and money. Men - money or sheep. Moreover, men always give the gift themselves. And then - a feast on the mountain.

After the refreshments there is another performance. The bride is brought out to the guests, from whom they ask for water. Everyone says something, jokes, discusses the girl’s appearance, and her task is not to talk back, because verbosity is a sign of stupidity and immodesty. The bride can only offer a drink of water and wish the guests health in the most laconic form.

Another performance game is organized on the third day of the wedding. The bride is led to the water with music and dancing. The attendants throw cakes into the water, then shoot them, after which the bride, having collected water, returns home. This is an ancient ritual that is supposed to protect a young woman from the merman. After all, she will walk on water every day, and the merman has already been lured with a treat and “killed.”

On this evening, the marriage is registered, in which the trusted father of the bride and the groom participate. Usually the mullah, on behalf of the father, gives consent to his daughter’s marriage, and the next day the bride becomes the young mistress of the house. According to an old Chechen custom, the groom should not appear at his own wedding. Therefore, he does not participate in wedding games, but usually has fun at this time in the company of friends.

Attitude towards a woman

A woman-mother among Chechens has a special social status. Since ancient times, she has been the mistress of fire, a man is only the master of the house. The most terrible Chechen curse is “so that the fire in the house goes out.”

Chechens have always attached great importance to a woman as a keeper of the hearth. And in this capacity, she is endowed with very special rights.

No one except a woman can stop a fight between men based on blood feud. If a woman appears where blood is flowing and weapons are clanging, the mortal battle may end. A woman can stop the bloodshed by removing the scarf from her head and throwing it between the combatants. As soon as a blood enemy touches the hem of any woman, the weapon aimed at him will be sheathed: now he is under her protection. By touching a woman's breast with his lips, anyone automatically becomes her son. To stop a quarrel or fight, a woman would let her children take a mirror to those who were chopping - this acted as a ban on civil strife.

According to Western tradition, the man will let the woman pass first as a sign of respect. According to Chechen, a man, respecting and protecting a woman, always walks ahead of her. This custom has ancient roots. In the old days, on a narrow mountain path there could be very dangerous encounters: with an animal, a robber, with a blood enemy... So the man walked ahead of his companion, ready at any moment to protect her, his wife and the mother of his children.

A respectful attitude towards a woman is evidenced by the custom of greeting her only while standing. If an elderly woman passes, it is the duty of any person, regardless of age, to stand up and say hello first. The greatest shame was considered to be disrespect for the mother and her relatives. And for a son-in-law, honoring his wife’s relatives was considered a virtue for which God could send him to heaven without trial.

Men's etiquette

The basic norms of behavior of a Chechen man are reflected in the concept of “nokhchalla” - see section 1. But for certain everyday situations there are also traditions and customs that have developed over centuries. They are reflected in Chechen proverbs and sayings about how an owner, husband, father should behave...

Conciseness - “I don’t know, no - one word, I know, I saw - a thousand words.”

Slowness - “The fast river did not reach the sea.”

Caution in statements and in assessing people - “A wound from a sword will heal, a wound from a tongue will not.”

Temperance – “Intemperance is stupidity, patience is good manners”

Restraint is the main characteristic of a Chechen man in almost everything related to his household chores. According to custom, a man will not even smile at his wife in front of strangers, and will not take the child in his arms in front of strangers. He speaks very sparingly about the merits of his wife and children. At the same time, he must strictly ensure that no man’s affairs and responsibilities fall on his wife - “The hen, which began to crow like a rooster, burst.”

A Chechen reacts to obscene language as if it were a particularly serious insult, especially if the curse involves a woman. This is due to the fact that the biggest shame is if a woman from the family allows herself any relationship with a stranger. In the republic, although rarely, there were cases of lynching of women for free behavior.

The concept of male beauty for Chechens includes tall stature, broad shoulders and chest, thin waist, thinness, fast gait - “You can tell what he is like by his gait,” people say. The mustache carries a special, symbolic burden - “If you don’t behave like a man, don’t wear a mustache!” For those who wear a mustache, this strict formula is accompanied by three prohibitions: do not cry from grief, do not laugh from joy, do not run away under any threat. This is how a mustache regulates the behavior of a Chechen man!

One more thing. They say that the leader of the rebel highlanders, Shamil, who was going to surrender, was called out to him several times by his faithful associate. But Shamil did not turn around. When he was later asked why he did not turn around, he replied that he would have been shot. “Chechens don’t shoot in the back,” Shamil explained.

Special numbers - 7 and 8

One of the Chechen fairy tales talks about the young man Sultan, who courted a girl for exactly 8 years. According to Chechen customs, an infant should not be shown a mirror until he is eight months old. In the Vainakh version of the myth of Adam and Eve, the first man and woman went in different directions to find a mate; Eve said that on her way she crossed eight mountain ranges. Chechen tradition presupposes that a woman knows eight generations of her maternal and paternal ancestors. A man must know the seven ancestors.

These examples show that Chechens associate the number 8 with a woman, and the number 7 with a man. Seven essentially consists of ones. The eight, consisting of four twos (otherwise - from pairs) reflects motherhood, the principle of generating one's own kind. Thus, digital symbolism shows the special, prevailing place of women in society, which came from ancient times, in comparison with men. This is also emphasized by the famous Chechen proverb - “If a man spoils, the family spoils, if a woman spoils, the whole nation spoils.”

Chechens attach special importance to inheritance through the female line. Thus, the expression “mother’s tongue” is used when a person’s worthy behavior is noted, and the expression “mother’s milk” is used when one is condemned for an unseemly act. To this day, a Chechen has the right to take a wife of any nationality, but a Chechen woman is not encouraged to marry a foreigner.

Mutual assistance, mutual assistance

When meeting, every Chechen will first ask: “How is it at home? Is everyone alive and well?” When breaking up, it is considered good manners to ask: “Do you need my help?”

The custom of mutual labor assistance goes back to ancient times. In those days, harsh living conditions forced the mountaineers to unite for agricultural work. The peasants tied themselves together with one rope to mow grass on the steep mountainside; the entire village reclaimed areas for crops from the mountains. In any misfortune, especially if the family lost its breadwinner, the village took upon itself to take care of the victims. Men did not sit down to the table until part of the food was taken to a house where there was no male breadwinner.

A greeting from a young person to an older person necessarily includes an offer of help. In Chechen villages it is customary, if an elderly person begins some kind of housework, to take part in it as a neighbor. And often it is the volunteer helpers who start the work.

The tradition of mutual support has developed among the people responsiveness to the misfortune of others. If there is grief in the house, then all the neighbors open the gates wide, thereby showing that the neighbor’s grief is his grief. If someone dies in the village, all fellow villagers will come to this house to express condolences, provide moral support, and, if necessary, financial assistance. Funeral arrangements for Chechens are completely taken care of by relatives and fellow villagers. A person who has been absent from the village for some time, upon arrival, receives full information about the events that happened without him, including misfortunes. And the first thing he does upon arrival is express condolences.

“A neighbor nearby is better than relatives far away,” “Rather than live without human love, it is better to die,” “The unity of the people is an indestructible fortress,” says Chechen wisdom

Hospitality

According to legend, the ancestor of the Chechens, Nokhchuo, was born with a piece of iron - a symbol of belligerence - in one hand and with a piece of cheese - a symbol of hospitality in the other. “Where a guest does not come, grace does not come.

I've read stories about interethnic love. I want to tell you a little... My father is Chechen, my mother is Gagauz. Although I grew up not in Chechnya, I was raised in Chechen style, I am a Muslim... Many of my friends met Chechens, in while I was an exemplary girl - I studied, studied and studied again, I didn’t even think about holding hands with someone. At first my friends were in the clouds, praising their Vainakh boyfriends, but then... Basically, they abandoned all of them and left to marry Chechen women. And the most common excuse was “Sorry, but I’m a Chechen, and I can ONLY take a Chechen as a wife.”) This is the first excuse of a Chechen who does not want to marry a Russian girl. A Chechen can it is free to marry a girl of any nationality, a Chechen can also marry a non-Chechen, but in general the marriage of a Chechen with a foreigner is not welcomed, often the family of such a girl even refuses her, sometimes it comes to revenge... But that’s another conversation. Dear girls , if your boyfriend told you that he can only marry a girl of his own nationality, then he simply doesn’t love you, or, what happens less often, he’s afraid of the family’s reaction. But then again, is a loving person afraid to do something for the sake of his beloved? Do it conclusions.

Let's move on... One of my friends met with a Chechen guy. She left with a beating. Now she fiercely hates all Caucasians. So, girls, know that a Chechen (who respects the traditions of his people, knows and honors them) will never in his life for anything in the world will not hit a girl (I’m generally silent about beating). According to Chechen adats, a man does not have the right to raise his hand against a woman, and indeed against an old man, a child, a minor teenager, or a baby. And those who raise their hands against a woman are just people , disrespecting neither themselves, nor their people, nor religion. However, this rule is not included in the rite of revenge, since if they have offended the family, then a person has the right to even kill a woman. A Chechen must protect his woman, and not only his own. Women are welcomed only standing, a man should be the first to greet them, among Chechens a woman is, first of all, someone’s mother, sister, wife, daughter, or fiancée. If God forbid someone even lays a finger on a girl (pushes her, for example), it’s not just her brother , but any Chechen who saw this will certainly stand up. Shame on the Chechen who raised his hand against a girl. For an insult to his wife, the husband can kill the offender. But if a woman behaves inappropriately (cheating on her husband), then sometimes it comes to male lynching. You hit? Make your move before it's too late.

I often hear that Chechens are often unrestrained and quick-tempered. But according to adats (I forgot to say, these are not written rules), a Chechen must be restrained. He has no right to show his emotions, even to smile at his wife in front of strangers (especially elders) is considered indecent (I’m silent about shouting and public showdowns) A Chechen must be patient, laconic, reasonable, consistent in his actions and decisions, a Chechen who respects himself will not throw words to the wind. If he said something or swore , then he will definitely do it, no matter what the cost (even if he has to lay down his life).

Here are some other girls who speak about Chechens as if they consider all Russians to be, excuse me, easy behaved. Complete nonsense. In fact, for a Chechen, it doesn’t matter what nationality the girl is, if she behaves inappropriately, then the attitude towards her is appropriate. Chechen girls are very modest , may seem wild to some, but previously, even if a Chechen took a girl by the hand (who was not married to him), he was killed. Now, of course, this is not the case, but the girl’s honor is still inviolable. If a Chechen dishonored a girl, then the family of that Chechen woman can punish with blood, but more often they try to marry off such girls.

One of my friends married a Chechen. He forced her to wear a headscarf. In fact, the girl must decide for herself whether she wants to wear a headscarf. This is a state of mind. You can wear a headscarf, but in your heart remain a convinced atheist. But what kind then meaning? Chechen women mostly wear a headscarf at will, because they honor adats. Previously, if two men were fighting on the street, a woman passing by to separate them would run up and, taking the headscarf off her head, throw it between them. They were obliged to stop a fight. No one can force you to wear a headscarf. It all comes from the heart. For example, no one forced me to cover my head, but when I turned 14, I myself came to this decision and wore a headscarf. I have one friend, also a Chechen , wears a hijab, prays 5 times a day, and sits on a dating site and swears (by the way, it is unacceptable for a Chechen woman to use obscene language). This is how it happens.

Let's move on...Bride kidnapping). Often our guys like to joke, “I saw you today when you were going to the store, I’ll steal you tomorrow!” But this, as a rule, has nothing to do with the truth). It’s a kind of entertainment to intimidate a girl with theft. I was often told before that they would steal, etc., but these are jokes. In fact, the theft is planned in advance. And most often the bride is not warned about this (the bride can tell her brother or father, then she is guaranteed complete safety, since they they won’t leave one, and stealing in the presence of brothers is very difficult, almost impossible). Bride kidnapping most often occurs for the following reasons: 1) the girl’s relatives are against her marriage, and she cannot go against their will, even though she loves that young man. 2) the girl doesn’t love him, and he wants to marry her, but he can’t get her consent to the marriage. 3) they love each other and the girl herself asks “steal me, otherwise they’ll give me away for someone else.” and finally 4) just observing a beautiful tradition .Sometimes it happens that the groom dishonors his beloved when he stole it, and she has no other choice but to marry him. Most often, stolen girls marry their kidnappers. If your beloved tells you that he will steal, then most likely he will just jokes. If you are still kidnapped, then again the decision is yours, you can refuse and return home. But the guarantee that if you return and your horseman will not steal you again is small. My cousin got married 4 times stole until she agreed)

Girls, if you are going to marry a Chechen, then I hope these couple of tips will help you.

1) be respectful of the traditions of his people.

2) when meeting his parents, do not hug him, do not hold hands, do not kiss, and do not even smile at him, come in modest clothes. It is advisable to wear a skirt below the knees, a loose sweater. It is better to put your hair in a pigtail, light makeup is also acceptable, but in no case vulgar, just a little. It is advisable to come with your parents. Help the mother of your chosen one set the table, perhaps help cook, the fact that you are a good housewife will increase your chances of fitting into their family. But not insist on your help if they told you that they don’t need it. You should behave modestly. If you give them a compliment, thank them. You can also say a couple of compliments, but don’t bombard them with them.

3) in marriage you should be patient, flexible, hard-working. You should be restrained, calm, keep the house clean and naturally you will cook.)

And so, good luck to you, girls! I hope that my note will help you a little and at least a little destroy the stereotypes that all Chechens are animals.

ZY I’m getting married soon myself.)

Vakha Usmanov, engineer (name and surname are fictitious)

— You have lived in Moscow for more than twenty years. Who do you feel like: a Muscovite, a Moscow Chechen, just a Chechen?

Of course, I am Chechen. And, of course, I am a Muscovite. But I understand what you want to ask: is there a difference between Moscow Chechens and those who live in the Republic?

Here it is necessary to stipulate: we are talking about current times, and not about the USSR. Because when I came to study in Moscow, and this was in the mid-80s, everything was different. After the army, I went to university, and my whole family was proud of me. I acted as an army soldier, and not according to a national quota. My fellow students didn't really care where I was from. From the Caucasus, and okay. No one distinguished the Dagestanis from us. There were difficulties like all provincials: a huge city, new people, it was difficult to learn to live in a different everyday culture. I will emphasize: household. Because then there was a common culture. And it’s not just about literature and cinema, but about how to behave.

— What do you mean by “household”?

Basic things: we have completely different traditions of communication, for example, with elders. At first it just killed me when I saw my classmates smoking in front of their parents and arguing with them.

And our communication with the weaker sex is different. More precisely, that was how it was then. I don’t know how this happens among young people in Chechnya now.

- Well, let's get back to your feelings...

So, despite, as they said then, “a single Soviet people,” I always knew who I was. I don’t want to talk about the war and everything connected with it, sorry. But I have lived in Moscow for 28 years. This is my city. I know all the traffic jams and the whole center here. I, like any Muscovite, am wildly irritated by Sobyanin tiles and migrants.

- Wait, where are the migrants from? From Central Asia or your compatriots?

Yes, all those who behave here differently from an ordinary resident of the metropolis. Do you think that if a Caucasian guy cuts me off on a tinted 9, I think something different from you in this situation? Yes, I won’t yell: “Drive like this in your village,” but, believe me, it’s just as infuriating.

And when people are outraged that sheep are slaughtered on the street on holidays, I am on the side of those who are indignant. Mark, cut - but only where possible, so as not to disturb others.

— Do you often travel to Chechnya? How do you feel there?

I haven't been for a long time. This is how the circumstances develop.

— Do you feel a negative attitude towards yourself when people find out your nationality? Have you ever faced open hostility because you are Chechen?

Again, divide the question into the USSR, the 90s and the present time. I said about the Union. The 90s were strange. My non-Chechen friends, and these are the majority, diligently pretended that nothing was happening - they never talked to me about the war. It was getting ridiculous. At some party I go out to smoke - everyone there is heatedly discussing the seizure in Budennovsk. My friend, seeing me, immediately interrupts and says: “The bandits have no nationality.”

There was also a situation in the bathhouse. And I go to steam once a week at the same time. Everyone got used to me, they didn’t ask where I was from. The men are sitting in the steam room, arguing about the army. I also got involved and in the conversation I said where I was called from. There was silence for about five minutes. They were all digesting what they had said over the years about Chechnya and the Caucasus in general. I say: “Relax, guys, you didn’t tell me anything new.” We laughed, of course. But now they try not to talk about what they think are slippery topics in front of me.

Everyone at work knows where I'm from. There, even during Nord-Ost, I never felt any negativity toward myself personally.

To be honest, with strangers too. Maybe because I don't have an accent. Although the first and last name are clearly Caucasian. But no, I won’t lie, I really haven’t faced any outright fear or hostility because of my nationality.

— We all read about “shooting weddings” and the behavior of guests from the Caucasus. Why are your compatriots behaving so demonstratively wildly in the capital?

Listen, these are minors. If I now start giving you examples of Russian teenagers with cans of cocktails yelling obscenities at my entrance, you will say that’s a different matter. And the truth is different. Sorry, but you get used to your bullshit. That is, I recently had to pull out two youngsters by the scruff of their necks on a train - they were drunk, they were swearing so hard that their ears were limp. But this type of behavior is familiar to Muscovites.

Another opinion: the history of relations between Russia and Chechnya over the past years has no analogues, not even far-fetched ones. Any attempt to imagine something even remotely similar in history only emphasizes the absurd uniqueness of the Russian-Chechen situation. ()

And “shooting weddings”... I wouldn’t call it wild, it’s just inappropriate in the city. Again, a question of culture. Aborigines walk naked somewhere in Africa - you wouldn't call them uncultured, would you? This is a different culture. The trouble is that no one explained to the youngsters who came to Moscow how to behave.

My teeth grind when I see “mine” in sweatpants somewhere on Manezhka. But this is a generation that grew up after the Soviet Union. They didn’t really study there. They grew up during the war. With all the atavisms of this war and with the broken psyche of the “children of war.”

Again, Moscow Chechens do not behave this way.

And the shooting... In the Balkans they shoot at weddings and christenings, bless you. Traditions are like that. By the way, I don’t remember anyone shooting in my childhood. I’m not sure that there are many such holidays in the Caucasus - with volleys. This is also incomprehensible to me, although their motivation is clear - for courage.

One more thing to consider: alcohol. We used to be a light-drinking nation. More precisely, drinking wine. Although there was moonshine and cognac, everything was in moderation. I didn’t know about drugs at all when I was young.

I won’t be unfounded, I don’t know how things are going with this in Chechnya. But I myself have witnessed it many times: young people come here to study, and gradually both excessive alcohol and weed begin to appear. But they don’t know how to drink at all, so here we go...

— Do your colleagues discuss this in front of you?

Yes. I tell them the same thing that I tell you now.

— Are there any values ​​in your life that your Russian colleagues and friends do not understand? Do you explain them? Are you defending?

Well, I probably have universal values. There is a difference in traditions and mentality. But let's do this: I'm talking about myself personally.

We have a strict taboo on public discussion and conversation on the topic of gender and sexual relations. Even in a purely male company, this is a veto.

And thirdly: relationship with parents, elders and family in general. Here is my wife, when my relatives arrive, she silently serves them the table and goes to her room. But this is nothing more than traditional behavior. Although when we are at home alone or with friends, everything is different.

And on all these three points I have to argue terribly with my Russian friends. They don't understand it, but they don't want to accept it. My explanations that it is so accepted, that it is a custom as a custom, for example, that the bride is not present at her own wedding, do not work.

But I’m already accustomed to such questions and bewilderment, such as: how is it possible that you drink with us, why can’t you, an adult, educated person, act as you want in the presence of relatives. Yes, the point is that I want them to be comfortable! So that you don't feel ashamed of me.

In the end, this is a habit from childhood - the habit of unconditionally obeying elders. Yes, probably, a lot of things in my personal life would have gone differently if I had been able, not just to argue, but at least not to take my parents’ advice as a direct instruction to action, but it sits inside me: my elders said, I have to do it.

— How would you solve the problem that is delicately called “attitude towards immigrants from the Caucasus”? Can it be solved in principle?

It would be easy to decide in Moscow. Let only those who really come here to study or work, and not to loaf around with their parents’ money, be allowed here. Strictly control the employment of visitors from the Caucasus.

And then I’ll tell you why I asked for the anonymity of this interview - people in my homeland are unlikely to understand this. I would ban fraternity. That is, not fraternity as such, but this clannishness. After all, just like in universities now, all Caucasians hang out together. They communicate with each other, show off to each other, and then what you called “wild behavior.” And so it is everywhere. For example, someone got a job in the police in Vorkuta. Immediately the relatives send their nephew: they say, an extension. And you, what to do, arrange it - that’s how it’s supposed to be.

It should be like this. Let's say you own a store. Great. But your sellers should not be your...cousins ​​and nephews, but local ones. Because when young Chechens come to Russia, they essentially don’t know anything about it. They are boiled in the cauldron of relatives, and Russians remain strangers and complete strangers to them. Here they see: a girl is walking in a miniskirt and with a cigarette. And their thoughts are simple: it is accessible. They don't know anything about you, they only see the outside.

And if they had plunged them, like me in my time, into a different environment, they would quickly understand what’s what.

There will be no fraternities - there will be no situation when a crowd comes to ransom a Caucasian detained for something.

It’s the same in the army: I had one Chechen in my company, and everything was fine. We must not serve together with our fellow countrymen. It’s involuntary – you get lumped together with your own people. And then it’s logical: the rest stand on the other side. And in the army the sense of community is heightened.

You can talk a lot about education in Chechnya itself, however, I am incompetent in this. But no matter how you were raised at home, you have to adapt when visiting. And you will do this if you know: no uncle will help you out or pay for you.

I assure you: if people come here only on business and live independently, without this eternal grouping, everything will quickly get better.

Oh, and also - no national quotas for studying. Let them come and enroll on a general basis and study in the same way, so that they can be expelled. According to the quota, they are trying to give them three rubles... You will see: there will be many times fewer young people wandering aimlessly around their universities.

- I was just about to ask. Look: in everyday conflicts between Chechens and Russians in Moscow, young Chechens usually participate. It seems that they are the ones who are more aggressive than more mature, adult Chechens, say, your age and older. Are you trying to solve the problem of young Chechens?

Yes, there is such a problem. I don't know how to decide. With us they are quieter than water - words will not allow unnecessary things. Those who did not live in the USSR are terra incognita for me - that is, I see that we speak the same language, they know my customs, but that’s all. People are from another planet for me.

I have a friend who is a computer scientist. His 18-year-old nephew from Shali came to visit him. It would seem, what IT specialist would not find a common language with a modern teenager who is stuck at a laptop from morning to evening? Not found. “I don’t know what I can talk to him about. It's completely dark. That is, it’s not easy to be illiterate, but tabula rasa,” a friend later complained. And the boy, by the way, has excellent Unified State Exam scores.

Again, the young Chechens you are asking about arrived. Those who grew up in Moscow are naturally different.

I really don’t know, I’ve thought about this many times already. I wish I could flog them... I repeat: with older Chechens, that is, with us, they are mega-correct.

— How do Chechens - both those who come to Moscow and those who live in Chechnya itself - relate to Russians? Many Russians say they feel, at best, disdain mixed with ridicule, and at worst, aggression.

I won’t say anything about modern Chechnya. But when I hear that we are a monoethnic nation, I laugh. They always married Russians. Yes, we rarely got married. But there were plenty of mixed marriages. Remember Dzhokhar Dudayev. So everything was fine before.

And to ask how Moscow Chechens treat Russians... I don’t even formulate it that way for myself. For me there are specific people, everything depends on them. Do I think you're Russian? You are you, that's all.

- “Stop feeding the Caucasus” - do you support this slogan, so popular among many Russians?

Again, I don't know. I don’t really have a good idea of ​​the economy of Chechnya right now. On the one hand, everything was destroyed. On the other hand, I myself think all the time: where do 18-year-old boys get Mercedes? And there are many of these people traveling around Moscow.

I’ll say a banality: if only bribe-takers, kickbacks, “let’s agree” and everything that you journalists call corruption were removed everywhere, then we would have to feed less. But someone here also benefits from this feeding?

Turpal Sulaev, businessman (name and surname fictitious)

— Two decades in the capital is a considerable period. Are you a Muscovite, a Moscow Chechen, or just a Chechen? Who do you feel like?

How do I feel about self-identification? Is this what the question must be? I will answer simply, without anything: the way I was born is the way I was born.

I'll try to explain. For a Chechen, freedom is the main thing. We are all born free - we understood this long before the Declaration of Human Rights. Far for a long time. “Hello” in Chechen translates to “walk free” The Chechen Everything is based on this.

— When people in Moscow find out your nationality, do you feel apprehension or negativity on their part?

I felt both, and even in Soviet, extremely international times. Natsmen is a Soviet euphemism. Like "chocks". Although I am Caucasian by type. In English, if anyone doesn’t know, caucasian. Caucasian, that is. This is what zealots of racial purity once called the standard of the white race. The Irony of Fate...

If someone tells me to my face, the gods will not envy him. I'll sweep it away. The Scots, by the way, are also basically Highlanders, say: Nemo me impune lacessit (“No one will touch me with impunity”).

But I won’t say that I’m particularly worried about this, I’ve already grown up.

- “Shooting weddings”, dancing in the streets, racing in cool cars... Why do your compatriots periodically behave so wildly?

“Shooting weddings” - to be honest, it’s in the genes. Read Russian classics. In particular, the most worthy one - Mikhail Yuryevich Lermontov. Why do I call him by Father? But because, being a boy of about 25, he showed miracles of courage and masculine, military dignity. Warrior, in a word.

Well, also Tolstoy’s “Hadji Murat”. If it’s not enough, then German Sadulaev, if anyone is not familiar. A man who has never fought described how a Chechen feels a weapon. For example, at one time I relieved an acute toothache with shots from a Shmel. This is who we are.

Although there were tons of clowns. I'm sure they don't know how to shoot a slingshot. Seriously.

— The problem of Chechen fathers and Chechen children: young people seem sharper, more aggressive, and behave defiantly. Is there really a problem with the younger generation of Chechens? If there is such a problem, are you, adult Chechens, trying to somehow solve it?

They behave this way because I am not them, sorry for the tautology. They are the children of the wrong parents. Children of the nouveau riche-light, offspring of thieving officials from the colonial administration. Subsidized, in a word. What do you want from them in the capital of the metropolis, eaten up by the terrible corrosion of decline?

— Are there any values ​​in your life that your Russian colleagues and friends do not understand? Are you defending them?

The values ​​of a Chechen are actually not very different from the values ​​of a man of any nationality.

We also respect our elders.

— What is the hardest thing for you as a Chechen in Moscow?

Xenophobia is off the charts. And so we are tolerant. Although it should not be tolerated in the capital of a state of 150 million people. "I think so!" - as Frunzik from Mimino said.

No, nothing heavy here. I have been living here for over twenty years. If it were unbearable, I would fade away. Although, to be honest, the family has not been in Moscow for a long time (our interlocutor’s family lives abroad - Ed. ). I work here, all alone.

— Is it even possible to solve the problem of xenophobia, which is off the charts, as you say?

Solve the problem of people from the Caucasus? You screwed up! It sounds medical. I can guess how many people think exactly this way!

Seriously, I would put the people responsible for this very decision in London, New York, Toronto or Paris for a couple of years. Maybe we could learn something useful. Although I suspect that their families are learning multiculturalism there. They melt, so to speak, in a cauldron, like cheese in butter.

— How do Chechens feel about Russians?

Attitude towards Russians? More than 200 years of confrontation, two genocides in one twentieth century. How to treat your older brother, as Soviet propaganda said? Not really. Far from it.

Although back in the 80s, when I was a shepherd high in the Caucasus mountains (I didn’t want to join the army in the fall), one adult (sounds like the beginning of a banal toast?) told me: never underestimate the Russian Ivan. That's what he said. And he knew what he was saying: he had been in prison for 25 years in the Turukhansk region, and he himself was far from timid. Almost like the “father of nations” - a raider.

There is probably a problem with the attitude of young Chechens towards Russians. It would be strange if, after two wars, there had not been almost extermination throughout their young lives.

How am I trying to solve this problem? Married a Russian. No kidding.

— There is a slogan: “Stop feeding the Caucasus.” What do you think of him?

“Stop feeding the Caucasus” is the election cry for the Okhlos. If we were smarter, we would look through the statistical data...

Material prepared by: Ksenia Fedorova, Alexander Gazov

Many friends ask why you can’t wear shorts on the street in Chechnya? It seems to me that this can be explained by the usual word “respect”. But respect in the Caucasian understanding and in the understanding of the “mainland” are completely different things. It's just that men, like women, should not show bare parts of their bodies. Although in reality, women still find ways to demonstrate themselves - for example, they wear long but tight dresses.

I wear jeans easily. There are times, of course, when the Hurons whistle after me and say something, but most people don’t care what you’re wearing. The Hurons are those who came down from the mountains and have never seen a woman in trousers. Wild people, they are the ones dancing lezginka on Red Square. Once I was traveling by bus to Moscow, and a young Chechen guy came up to me and said: “Oh, you’re Russian, come with me to the hotel.” For them, due to their upbringing, a Russian woman is a *** (a slutty woman).

In Grozny, men mostly wear trousers or jeans along with a T-shirt or shirt. No T-shirts - shoulders must be covered. You don't have to wear moccasins on your feet, I don't know where this stereotype came from. They also don’t wear tracksuits - this is considered disrespectful for the Vainakhs. Going out in a tracksuit is the same as going out in pajamas. But I can afford such luxury.

You rarely see a real hijab here. This is the same veil that hides the entire body, except for the hands and face. In the Western world, a traditional Arabic headscarf is mistaken for a hijab. Before the war in Chechnya, no one wore them at all, only in the last ten years they began to wrap themselves up, and often the hijab was worn in combination with a fairly tight dress. Usually women in Grozny wear a headscarf and a skirt below the knee. And many girls who cover themselves from head to toe do it as a tribute to fashion - it has nothing to do with religion. A religious woman wearing a hijab cannot wear makeup. She should not have makeup or painted nails. This is hypocritical towards religion.

Young people are generally ignorant in matters of faith. Many are simply fanatics, Internet Muslims. I ask them: “Why fast Eid during the holy month of Ramadan? Why are you holding her? And they answer me: “Well, my ancestors held it, and I hold it.” This is an unreflective faith, as a tribute to tradition. It turns out to be a hypocritical fast: you act like saints all month, you don’t eat or drink, but you don’t know why. But almost everyone will foam at the mouth to prove the correctness of their religion, although few people live according to the pillars of true Islam. During Uraza, Grozny completely dies out; during the day there are practically no people on the street.

Many adats (adats are unwritten laws, their implementation is considered mandatory, and non-compliance is punishable. As the peoples of the Caucasus became Islamized, norms of Muslim theological law - Sharia - began to be added to the adats) run counter to Islam. For example, in Islam it is not customary to dance and sing. A cult of personality is also unacceptable, and yet not a single administrative building in Grozny is complete without a portrait of the first president of the Chechen Republic, Akhmat-Hadzhi Kadyrov, as well as Vladimir Vladimirovich. Often they are accompanied by a portrait of Ramzan Akhmatovich himself. I jokingly call them the “Holy Trinity”: father, son and Holy Spirit. Also popular are mugs, keychains, magnets and other souvenirs with a portrait of Ramzan himself. Our football team “Terek” became the team “Akhmat”. There was even a project to rename Grozny to Akhmat-Kala. This is already too much. All these things do not have a strong impact on my life, but I can say for sure that in the republic there is a strict dictatorial system and open corruption.

Personal life and relocation

I came to Chechnya for the first time in the summer of 2015. I was invited to visit the Chechens with whom I had the honor of working together. The stereotypical opinion about the republic gave rise to fears: before the trip, my acquaintances told me that it was dangerous in Chechnya, people were shooting in the street, and chaos was going on. But my curiosity won: I wanted to see the ordinary life of Chechens, and also see the mosque and high-rise buildings with my own eyes. As a result, I fell in love with Grozny and its hospitality.

The city is very clean and tidy. There are no obnoxious personalities, and everyone is dressed modestly. Chechnya, at first glance to the average person, is an oppressively calm region. Nothing terrible is happening in the republic, you just need to follow certain rules of behavior. In my opinion, these are reasonable standards of culture and morality, which, to my deep regret, are practically lost in many cities of our great homeland.

Grozny left an extremely positive impression of itself, and I decided to move. Meeting my future husband at that time (already ex) happened so unexpectedly and beautifully, I felt happy and protected from the whole world. My husband and I did not have an official stamp in our passport, only some religious agreements. Speaking Russian, we lived in a civil marriage. Of course, I had stereotypical ideas about Caucasian men, I thought that behind him I would feel like behind a stone wall. He looked after me very nicely: he gave me a lot of gifts, spoke beautiful words and made a bunch of promises that remained just promises. He also promised almost a flight to Mars.

Women generally always sit separately. In the presence of elders, especially men, a woman should not pick up a child or kiss him. You need to behave with restraint, without showing positive or negative emotions. Everything should be nice, correct and without raising your voice

Family life was not what I imagined. A man in the Caucasus has a wife who must stay at home and raise children. She can work only with the permission of her husband. At the same time, friends and relatives occupy a large place in the life of a Caucasian man, and there is practically not enough time for his own family. A man is usually not at home all day, and when he arrives, everything should be in order, and the children should be fed. If he arrived with friends, the woman should set the table and leave the room. She can come in to serve or remove something, but she cannot take part in the feast. Women generally always sit separately. In the presence of elders, especially men, a woman should not pick up a child or kiss him. You need to behave with restraint, without showing positive or negative emotions. Everything should be nice, correct and without raising your voice. In public, a husband and wife communicate simply as friends - no displays of feelings.

From the very beginning I told my husband that I was not a Chechen and not a fifteen-year-old girl who could be raised. I am an adult woman with my own principles, and I cannot immediately start living according to Vainakh adats. It is useless to force traditions on me; you need to make me want to follow them myself. But they demanded something from me, and I didn’t even understand what it was. Nobody told me how to behave correctly, and I read about traditions on the Internet. My husband demanded compliance with them, but made no effort himself, so I had no desire to continue the relationship. I lacked basic care, and we quietly and peacefully parted ways. By the way, just an hour and a half ago he called me - we sometimes communicate.

Most often we quarreled because my husband was not at home. The lack of care also depressed him greatly. Everything else, including respecting traditions, could be solved. The second reason for separation is a complete ban on communication with my friends, acquaintances and colleagues. Making new acquaintances, especially with men, was not encouraged. I found myself practically cut off from society, although I always had an active position in life.

I'm a complex person and I understand that. I have principles and goals in life. I love to travel, and a Chechen marriage practically excludes this. Well, once every five years my husband takes me to the sea - and should I be happy, applaud and kiss him all over?

Life and customs of Chechnya

After my husband and I separated, I thought about leaving Grozny, but the education that my daughter could receive in Grozny played a key role in the decision: she recently started first grade. In the Chechen Republic, a child acquires values ​​that have long been lost in our society; unfortunately, they are difficult to instill outside the Caucasus. For example, respect for elders.

This concept is still preserved in Grozny; in public transport you will always give up your seat to an older person; often an acquaintance or acquaintance you meet at a bus stop will pay for the fare. And also the tradition of hospitality - it is unique; outside the Caucasus it is absent or more often similar to Sochi: any whim for your money.

On the streets of the “mainland” you can see used syringes and empty bottles, even on children’s playgrounds, which is absolutely impossible in Grozny. I won’t say that there is no drug addiction or alcoholism in Chechnya, but it is not so widespread and visible. The mentality differs even in the republics of the North Caucasus. Chechnya and Ingushetia are the only two republics with a complete ban on alcohol and nightclubs (in 2016, all retail outlets selling alcoholic beverages were closed in Chechnya. - Ed.). In Grozny, alcohol can be bought only in one store from 08:00 to 10:00 and only for Russians. If a Chechen tries, he will immediately be given 15 days just for the intention. But, knowing the character of Ramzan Akhmatovich, I do not consider it necessary to talk about specific cases: this could negatively affect the reputation of Chechnya.

Relationships between men and women in Chechnya

The fact that divorce is not customary in Chechnya is a stereotype. But yes, it will indeed be more difficult for a woman to get married after a divorce. These are the traditions. It is not at all difficult for a man to remarry. I have a friend who has already married eight times. Although last year Ramzan ordered the reunification of divorced families. Special commissions came to the men and gave an ultimatum: either you go to your wife and return her, or we will knock you on the head.

I am not considering further relationships with Chechen men. It is difficult for Vainakhs to have a full-fledged marriage with a woman of a different faith, and I do not plan to convert to Islam. I gave my child complete freedom in choosing his religion. I will not interfere with the desire to convert to Islam. I cannot say that religion is imposed in Chechen schools. Yes, students learn prayers and definitely learn the Chechen language, but they often turn a blind eye to the results and give C grades. Even the director of the school where my daughter studies does not know literary Chechen.

There is also polygamy in Chechnya, no one hides it. I know many polygamous families who live wonderfully and prosperously. In such families, everything depends on the man. All his women should be equal

There are Russians in Chechnya, but I hardly communicate with them: as they say, it’s not the right coat. In Chechnya, everyone is on WhatsApp, and for some time I was in a group of Russian women in Grozny. Mostly in the chat there were wives of military men who came here on duty. There are also girls who came of their own free will and live wonderful lives. At least they show that they live well. In fact, in terms of relations between men and women, the region is very specific. There are a lot of lies coming from men. A man can lie that he is not married. Almost from the first message they write: “That’s it, woman, you’re mine.” You're walking down the street, a guy comes up and asks for your phone number. If you refuse him, he will immediately begin to insult you.

There is also polygamy in Chechnya, no one hides it. I know many polygamous families who live wonderfully and prosperously. In such families, everything depends on the man. All his women should be equal. If you buy a fur coat for one, then the other is obliged to buy it too. If one bought an apartment, then so did the other. The situation is the same with the allocation of time. No wife has the right to claim the time of another wife. For my former Chechen husband, I was the first wife, and he wanted a second, which I, of course, did not understand and was against. But now, I think I could become part of such a family.

Hospitality and tranquility

A man should not visit a single woman in Chechnya. But this doesn’t concern me, I’m not Chechen. Chechen friends often come to visit me, plus I receive tourists from all over the world through couchsurfing. Five male travelers and I spent the night at the same time. For the neighbors, such a picture is, of course, a novelty.

There are many good places in the Chechen Republic: the Grozny Sea, a musical fountain, the second in the world after Dubai. But I’ve already done everything, and it’s not particularly interesting to me. In terms of infrastructure, I am happy with everything. There are ATMs and terminals everywhere. Although there is a shortage of qualified specialists in almost all areas: from medicine to the restaurant business.

The main attraction of the republic is hospitality and relationships between people. For example, tourists are never allowed to live in tents and are invited into a house. They will never leave a person in trouble here. They will help as much as they can. Once I had to leave urgently, and the guests who were supposed to stay with me were given free shelter by a driver who simply gave them a lift.

I often visit neighboring republics, and sometimes tourists want to stay with me at this time. I had no problem leaving my house keys with a neighbor or a salesperson at a nearby store. Of course, they asked me if I was afraid that I would be robbed. But I’m not afraid: if anything happens, they’ll find you later. Sometimes I forget to close the front door at night, and nothing bad happens - the region is calm.

Career

In Grozny, I also worked in one of the largest trading companies in the republic, but I didn’t quite fit into the team. Firstly, because I am Russian, and secondly, because I always tell the truth and straight forward - and the Chechens don’t like this, they need correctness and praise.

There are many companies in Grozny that snatched money during the construction of the city after the First and Second Chechen Wars. At one time they easily earned money, but now their financial cushion is running out. My opinion is this: if branches of large retail chains such as Leroy Merlin, Ikea and others open in the neighboring region, all local companies will crumble to smithereens. We consulted for four hours a day, and at one of the meetings my nerves couldn’t stand it: “Guys, there are seven of you brothers, and I’m one.” So you understand: we spent three to four days discussing one issue for approval.

Business in the republic is often family-run, which I don’t really like. This is approximately the same as the leader is the three-headed Serpent Gorynych, and each head wants its own. I also have no desire to join a government agency. I don't want to be tied hand and foot. Yes, in the civil service you can get an apartment, but then you become the slave of Ramzan Akhmatovich. Not personally, of course, but through intermediaries. You would still have to jump at his every sneeze. We had a girl living here (we are talking about a journalist who officiated the wedding of 17-year-old Luiza Goilabieva and the head of the Nozhai-Yurtovsky district police department of Chechnya, Nazhud Guchigov. - Ed.) who worked at the radio station. She recently left for Izhevsk, although she was given an apartment in Grozny. I don't think she would have left if she liked everything here.

Of course, you can find work in Grozny, but I preferred to work remotely from home. My typical day involves a computer. I can go out for a walk around the city in the evening, but this happens extremely rarely. Well, I take care of the child: cook a meal, do homework, in the evening - a family tradition, tea with a neighbor. In the summer I practically never visit Chechnya and travel.

I have not encountered the Kadyrov regime, it does not apply to me, and I feel absolutely free. There is no national persecution, if there was such a thing, I would have reached Ramzan. I don't know any stories about kidnappings. Of course, Kadyrov's relatives are allowed more than others. Many of my friends are close to him. Sometimes they express their dissatisfaction to me. But, of course, they can talk to me so openly, but they can’t talk to anyone else. They understand that this will not go anywhere beyond me. I won’t tell you what they say.

Perhaps I will leave Grozny, but I still want to stay in the North Caucasus. I really like Nalchik, I even thought about moving, but due to the current ethnic conflict between Kabardians and Balkars, I put this idea aside.

A good discussion on the topic is here http://ponyat.ru/issue/b801-chechen-i-russkaya-devushka.html
Here's the start of the discussion...

Chechen and Russian girl

he is Chechen, I am Russian, what future do I have with him?? his mother really wants me to be his wife!!

Answers from site visitors: Chechen and Russian girl

BERRY (Eagle)

Important - Mutual understanding ------nation has nothing to do with it....

Petso (Khimki)

there are no barriers to true love, if you don’t believe and doubt him, don’t poison his soul, immediately say no

I'm the only one (Novosibirsk)

honey, you are very lucky!!! the main thing is the blessing of the parents =)))

pulka (Moscow)

Oh, they have a completely different mentality, these are Eastern men. Of course, it’s up to you to decide, but I’m actually afraid of such broks.... not enough...

(****Adilya****) (Magnitogorsk)

Honestly? You are very lucky that your boyfriend’s MOTHER HERSELF wants you to become her son’s wife! You know, I almost fell out of my chair when I read it)))) It’s very rare when everything turns out like that. My favorite person is Lezgintak, his mother is against his Russian daughter-in-law, although I am of the same faith as him. You know, Chechens are a proud and temperamental people, if your young man adheres to the traditions of his people, then you better study them, and even better, learn the Chechen language))) I have a friend who is now learning the Chechen language)))) The attitude towards women is also a little different than the Russians, but respectful, I can say that for sure!

Yagodkina (Nalchik)

Future? Eat separately from men. And serve the men's table first. and then go get yours. And constantly run around serving and cleaning. They treat children very reservedly. Think about it. Of the Muslims, Chechens are the most insidious and cruel.
http://www.christianbook.ru/lib/braksmus.html
http://www.pravaya.ru/idea/20/9599
These are references about women in Islam.
http://www.radonezh.ru/all/gazeta/?ID=497&forprint Muslim laws.

Chechen and thief in law are an explosive mixture. http://otvet.mail.ru/question/17199258/

Source: I would not give my daughter for a Chechen.

Natalia (Perm)

among Chechens... to marry a Russian... is very rare... maybe it really is true love... and if your mother agrees... you need to convert to Islam... in practice, I have never seen Russian wives among my Chechen friends. ..Russians have a completely different view of family

In a relationship (Nizhny Novgorod)

If he is a Muslim, aren’t you afraid that he might take a second wife?

Colipso (Bryansk)

You can go out safely in Russia, but don’t even think about leaving for his homeland. Unless, of course, he is the eldest of the children, because... Muslims have the eldest son as a father and, accordingly, the daughter-in-law is the mistress of the situation

BESTIA-STAR OF ANTARES (St. Petersburg)

mom wants?? and what do you want?? be prepared for the fact that you will have to change your faith.. and become a submissive wife.. not to mention complete house-building

Julia (Cheboksary)

Well, of course... registration in Moscow didn’t hurt anyone... wash it ten times... it will be hard for you

rex (No city)

stupid! they haven’t told you yet that you’re stupid! Our people will come and kill all the blacks and your bastards!!!

Andrey (Without a city)

When choosing a husband, a white woman also chooses the nationality of her future children. Why don't you think about it?

Mika (Without a city)

I’m also in love with a Chechen, it’s no one’s fault that Russian martyrs are weak in spirit. That’s why he’s like a tank behind him)))

Ekaterina (Without city)

I'm going to marry a Chechen. But it turned out the other way around, my parents are against this marriage, but on the contrary they are happy for me. My mother calls me her daughter. says that I am a Vainashka. I was in their family and I can say that everything depends on the person, not the nation. Women are highly revered and respected. For a mother, sister, beloved, even if they simply raised their voices at her, they would lay their heads. Respect for elders, because they wrote that she doesn’t sit at the table with men, she sets the table first, that’s true, but the problem with us is that for Russians, it’s also essentially accepted, that’s why a girl marries her HUSBAND! then there is everything for him, everything for his sake. This is how it has happened in modern times. When you are alone at home with him, behave as you want, but in front of his friends, and especially elders, you need to behave as a real Chechen woman should. And you don’t need to wear any burqa. A scarf in the form of a headband and a skirt below the knee. A modest girl, just the way she should be. So only those who are accustomed to a riotous and selfish lifestyle are afraid of this. If you love, DO NOT FEAR ANYTHING. Look at him as a loved one, and not as a Chechen.

Doesn't matter (No city)

I also love a Chechen and he loves me and I think this is quite normal. How he answered my question when I asked him if love was possible between us, he said in love all people are the same, regardless of nation

Mikhail (Without a city)

look at how these jackals are cutting off the heads of our children! nonhumans, they will all burn in hell for their evil! and you don’t know what they teach their children from a young age!!!

Mikhail (Without a city)

If only it were my will, I would make a second Hiroshima out of this fucking Turkmenistan of Chechnya, to level all of them as fucking shepherds, well, damn, they learned to wipe their black ass with paper, otherwise for centuries the shameful saxauls have been plugging their fingers with their fingers! Hello RAMZANKA KADYROVA, the time will come to fuck all of you, we will be jackals!

Marina (Without city)

There are so many different people, and many different opinions. You know what you want, right? The forbidden fruit is sweet. For better or for worse, we were raised to hate the Chechens. It’s difficult to accept a Muslim just to be with him .You yourself must want this. They respect the woman, but don’t forget, you will have to give up a lot - the beach, candy with alcohol, arguing and much more. Yes, it’s easy to give up a lot. If you are still very young. But when you had too much freedom , then this is almost incredible. In my case, I understand everything soberly, we are just lovers. Yes, I have nothing to lose. I am independent of anyone. I make my decisions myself. I am Belarusian, soon I will become Austrian. I love a Chechen. But how many men, has already broken hearts and how many more will break. I am glad for those for whom everything went right and smoothly from the very beginning. Lastly, I still want to say about Russian men. Not all, but very many of them are looking for brides with a dowry, beauty spiritual and external big roles do not play for them. Rich protectors, yes! And these are Russian men. Well, the Chechens, in principle, they do not hide what exactly they want from you. The choice is yours

Amina (Without a city)

I love a Chechen, even though he is married. He did so much for me, and I was a fool and climbed into bed with him. And now everything is different. I converted to Islam, he gave me a name, prayers in Arabic, syllable by syllable, like with a child. Now I have everything, live and be happy. And he still helps, but he will never respect you again. And I won't either. And who is to blame is the damned Russian mentality, and in Christianity lust is also a mortal sin. Only he won’t forget and I won’t forget, and you can’t mend a broken cup.

Mystery (No City)

I am a child (!), 47 years old, mixed marriage, official. Mom was Russian, dad was Chechen. Six years later, the parents separated; the reason was not due to different nationalities. Nevertheless, all my life I communicated with my father, I communicate with relatives (though they are all very educated and civilized: three higher educations, academic degrees, etc.). Looking at some of the fathers of my Russian friends, I even felt sorry for them (endless drunkenness, fighting, and other negative aspects). But I have loving parents, even if they don’t live together, and an intelligent attitude. I think. that I'm happy. Moreover, I will say that I communicate with my second wife and their children. We have a good relationship. So every nation has its heroes and freaks. But life didn’t work out for my parents, not me. Chechens love very much and never abandon their children. So at least provide your children with a normal father. And my late mother was the initiator of the divorce, built a dizzying career, and before her death she said that my father was the most decent man in her life; in her youth, she did not consider or appreciate this. Love works wonders. Of course, it is necessary to study the traditions of the people (they have very high moral characteristics), and take into account the opinion of a man. If you agree on everything, then it can very well turn out to be a positive marriage. I don’t know about faith; during the USSR the issue was not so pressing; both parents were ardent communists. Today no one is trying to lure me into Islam. I didn’t even notice such attempts. Once again I apologize to all visitors to the site. Perhaps I have been very lucky in life, I am just an exception to the rule. Why don't you build an exception too. after all, one positive example is already someone’s life, destiny... Good luck to all Russian girls who have decided to connect their lives with “non-believers.” Your chosen one must be the best!!!

This is just the beginning of the discussion, follow the link in full