How to calm down from worries. How to calm down if you're very nervous

There are two types of stressful situations. When we actually have something to worry about, and when there is no real reason to worry. If you are running through the forest right now from a wild boar, then any advice we give you on how to calm down and stop being nervous in stressful situations is unlikely to seem effective to you. It’s very difficult to remain calm and cool at such a moment, isn’t it? But in general, if you think carefully, what in this moment you are experiencing severe stress, does you a huge favor because thanks to the release of adrenaline into your blood, you find the strength to run.

On the other hand, if you are sitting for an interview or have a regular ordinary exam, and you are waiting for your turn in front of the audience, and nothing threatens your safety at this moment, but you feel that your hands are shaking, your palms are sweating, you are pounding, you If you can’t pull yourself together, then such stress can hardly be called natural. Because not all people experience it. When you were studying at the university, there were probably people in your group who absolutely did not understand what anyone could worry about here; they ran to answer the questions first and, thanks to this, could leave before everyone else. So, such anxiety usually does not bring any benefit to a person. In order to figure out how to get rid of it, let's first talk about where it comes from, and then what to do about it and how to defeat it.

Reasons why you are so scared?

Physiological reasons.

1. Problems with the spine.

Pinched nerve roots can be a cause of anxiety. There are even studies on this topic that show a very clear relationship, for example, this study on Mood and anxiety disorders in patients with chronic low back and neck pain caused by disc herniation.

2. Endocrine disorders.

Diabetes mellitus, thyroid diseases, etc.A drop in blood sugar can also cause feelings of fear and intense anxiety for no reason.

3. Nutrition.

For example, caffeine abuse.In the article, we said that people who drink a lot of coffee in the afternoon often complain of high level nervousness.

Psychological reasons.

1. The habit of worrying.

You most likely have anxious parents. Children always copy the behavior patterns of their parents. It's difficult to have a strong nervous system and don’t feel nervous if this is the pattern of behavior that you have observed since childhood. Your parents most likely adopted this from their parents, or acquired this habit due to other reasons, which we will describe below.

2. A bad experience that your brain remembers.

Did you know that in order to remember something very quickly for a long time, or even forever, you need to add an emotional coloring to this event or information.
If a situation happened to you in which you experienced very strong discomfort and fear, and you did not have the opportunity to quickly stop this discomfort, for example, you were stuck in an elevator and the lights were turned off. The dispatch button didn't work, it was Friday and you were afraid you'd have to sit there all weekend. Then, of course, the next time you enter a closed room, you will be afraid of repetition.

Or, for example, at the school where you studied, your teacher for some reason personal reasons I disliked you and constantly made fun of you in front of the whole class, and since man is a social animal, the fear of being rejected by other people is quite strong for most people. And therefore, when giving a presentation at work or sitting for an exam, those emotions that you once experienced will remind you of yourself again and again, because this situation will seem similar to your brain.

3. You have been trained. The coming of the end of the world.

There is another option related to family upbringing. This is when parents are not nervous, but overly strict and aggressive. Well, for example, you were always punished for a bad grade.

Or your parents were inclined to exaggerate any of your mistakes, you tore your jacket - it’s the end of the world, you didn’t wash the dishes - a scandal, and now, even if no one punishes you for your mistake, your brain will experience anxiety. He's so used to it.

How to calm down and stop being nervous in stressful situations? What to do?

First you need to understand which of the reasons is yours. Sit and remember. If you suspect that the cause of your unreasonable fear is physiological, then you should consult a doctor or adjust your diet if that is the cause. If the reason is psychological, then once you understand the reason, you may feel a little better. And then you can use our advice.

1. In order to learn how to stop being nervous and worried, you will have to be a little nervous and worried. Clinical psychologists will call this method cognitive therapy, and ordinary people They will say that this method is called “look your fear in the eye” (or in the face - which is correct?). The point is to put yourself in the situation that makes you anxious. But don't forget that we're talking about about situations that are safe for you, in which you experience unjustified discomfort.Well, for example, you get very nervous at interviews, which means that to stop being nervous, you need to go through 20-30-40 interviews.

Or you are afraid to ride in an elevator - you will have to ride it 10 times a day.
Those. if you had any bad experience or a pattern of behavior adopted from your parents, then you change it by creating new successful experiences and new patterns of behavior.
It will be scary at first, but over time the anxiety will subside and you will feel better.

2. Allow fear to be. Don't fight it, but accept it. And ideally, even try to deliberately strengthen it. This method is called the method of paradoxical intention. Those. If you are giving a presentation and you feel like you are going to faint from excitement, then you need to force yourself to faint. As you understand, no one succeeds, and causeless excitement recedes by itself.

3. Actually try to breathe a little. Don’t throw this option aside because “it’s some kind of bullshit.” And slowly, inhale and exhale, inhale and exhale over and over again. This helps a lot of people.

4. Strengthen your nervous system as a whole.
Play sports. Don't overload yourself negative information. Choose positive films and music. Learn not to get hung up, to switch from problems to business - in fact, this is also a skill, a habit that anyone can instill in themselves if they wish.

I would like to leave one more piece of advice for the conclusion of this article. This advice is about another good way to stop being nervous and worried. In order to relieve anxiety, you need to get very angry with yourself and tell yourself that you are really going to allow stupid fears and anxiety to constantly ruin your life. And if you really succeed, then perhaps you can finally achieve the long-awaited peace and your fears will recede.

I will explain how to remain calm and cool in any life situation without the help of sedatives, alcohol and other things. I will talk not only about how to suppress states of nervousness and calm down, but I will also explain how you can stop being nervous in general, bring the body into a state in which this feeling simply cannot arise, in general, how to calm your mind and how strengthen the nervous system.

The article will be structured in the form of sequential lessons and it is better to read them in order.

Nervousness and jitters are that feeling of discomfort that you experience on the eve of important, responsible events and activities, during psychological stress and stress, in problematic life situations, and you’re just worried about all sorts of little things. It is important to understand that nervousness has both psychological and physiological causes and manifests itself accordingly. Physiologically, this is connected with the properties of our nervous system, and psychologically, with the characteristics of our personality: a tendency to worry, overestimation of the significance of certain events, a feeling of self-doubt and what is happening, shyness, worry about the result.

We begin to get nervous in situations that we consider either dangerous, threatening our lives, or for one reason or another significant or responsible. I think that a threat to life does not often loom before us, ordinary people. Therefore, I consider situations of the second type to be the main reason for nervousness in everyday life. The fear of failure, of looking inappropriate in front of people - all this makes us nervous. In relation to these fears, there is a certain psychological attunement; this has little to do with our physiology. Therefore, in order to stop being nervous, it is necessary not only to put the nervous system in order, but to understand and realize certain things, let’s start with understanding the nature of nervousness.

Lesson 1. The nature of nervousness. Necessary defense mechanism or hindrance?

Our palms begin to sweat, we may experience tremors, increased heart rate, increased blood pressure, confusion in our thoughts, it is difficult to gather ourselves, concentrate, it is difficult to sit still, we want to occupy our hands with something, smoke. These are the symptoms of nervousness. Now ask yourself, how much do they help you? Do they help cope with stressful situations? Are you better at negotiating, taking an exam, or communicating on a first date when you're on edge? The answer is, of course not, and what’s more, it can ruin the whole result.

Therefore, it is necessary to firmly understand that the tendency to be nervous is not a natural reaction of the body to a stressful situation or some ineradicable feature of your personality. Rather, it is simply a certain mental mechanism embedded in a system of habits and/or a consequence of problems with the nervous system. Stress is only your reaction to what is happening, and no matter what happens, you can always react to it in different ways! I assure you that the impact of stress can be minimized and nervousness eliminated. But why eliminate this? Because when you're nervous:

• Your thinking ability decreases and you have a harder time concentrating, which can make things worse and require your mental resources to be stretched to the limit.
• You have less control over your intonation, facial expressions, and gestures, which can have a bad effect on important negotiations or a date.
• Nervousness causes fatigue and tension to accumulate more quickly, which is bad for your health and well-being.
• Being nervous often can lead to various diseases(Meanwhile, a very significant part of diseases stem from problems of the nervous system)
• You worry about little things and therefore do not pay attention to the most important and valuable things in your life.

Remember all those situations when you were very nervous and this negatively affected the results of your actions. Surely everyone has many examples of how you broke down, unable to withstand psychological pressure, lost control and lost concentration. So we will work with you on this.

Here is the first lesson, during which we learned that:

• Nervousness does not bring any benefit, but only hinders
• You can get rid of it by working on yourself
• IN Everyday life there are few real reasons to be nervous, since we or our loved ones are rarely threatened by anything, we mostly worry about trifles

I will return to the last point in the next lesson and, in more detail, at the end of the article and tell you why this is so.

You should configure yourself like this:

I have no reason to be nervous, it bothers me and I intend to get rid of it and this is real!

Don’t think that I’m just talking about something that I myself have no idea about. Throughout my childhood, and then my youth, until I was 24 years old, I experienced big problems with the nervous system. I couldn’t pull myself together in stressful situations, I worried about every little thing, I even almost fainted because of my sensitivity! This had a negative impact on health: pressure surges began to be observed, “ panic attacks", dizziness, etc. Now all this is in the past.

Of course, I can’t say now that I have the best self-control in the world, but all the same, I stopped being nervous in those situations that make most people nervous, I became much calmer, compared to my previous state, I reached a fundamentally different level of self-control. Of course, I still have a lot to work on, but I’m on the right path and there is dynamics and progress, I know what to do. In general, everything I’m talking about here is based solely on my experience of self-development, I’m not making anything up and I’m only talking about what helped me. So if I had not been such a painful, vulnerable and sensitive young man and, then, as a result of personal problems, I had not begun to remake myself - all this experience and the site that summarizes and structures it would not exist.

Lesson 2. Are the events that you consider so significant and important?

Think about all those events that make you nervous: your boss calls you, you take an exam, you wait unpleasant conversation. Think about all these things, evaluate the degree of their importance for you, but not in isolation, but within the context of your life, your global plans and prospects. What is the significance of a squabble in public transport or on the road on a life-long scale, and is it really such a terrible thing to be late for work and be nervous about it?

Is this something to think about and worry about? At such moments, focus on the purpose of your life, think about the future, take a break from the current moment. I am sure that from this perspective, many things that you are nervous about will immediately lose their significance in your eyes, will turn into mere trifles, which they certainly are and, therefore, will not be worth your worries. This psychological setting helps a lot. But no matter how well we set ourselves up, although this will certainly have a positive effect, it will still not be enough, since the body, despite all the arguments of reason, can react in its own way. Therefore, let's move on and I will explain how to bring the body into a state of calm and relaxation immediately before any event, during and after it.

Lesson 3. Preparation. How to calm down before a big event

Now some important event is inexorably approaching us, during which our intelligence, composure and will will be tested, and if we successfully pass this test, then fate will generously reward us, otherwise we will lose. This event could be a final interview for the job you dream of, important negotiations, a date, an exam, etc. In general, you have already learned the first two lessons and understand that nervousness can be stopped and this must be done so that this condition does not prevent you from focusing on the goal and achieving it.

And you realize that an important event awaits you ahead, but no matter how significant it is, even the worst outcome of such an event will not mean the end of your whole life for you: there is no need to dramatize and overestimate everything. It is precisely from the very importance of this event that the need to be calm and not worry arises. This is too important an event to let nervousness ruin it, so I will be collected and focused and will do everything for this!

Now we bring our thoughts to calm, relieve the jitters. First, immediately throw all thoughts of failure out of your head. In general, try to calm down the fuss and not think about anything. Free your head from thoughts, relax your body, exhale and inhale deeply. The simplest breathing exercises will help you relax.

Simple breathing exercises:

It should be done like this:

• inhale for 4 counts (or 4 pulse beats, you need to feel it first, it’s more convenient to do this on the neck, not on the wrist)
• keep the air in for 2 counts/hits
• exhale for 4 counts/beats
• do not breathe for 2 counts/beats and then inhale again for 4 counts/beats - all from the beginning

In short, as the doctor says: breathe - don't breathe. 4 seconds inhale - 2 seconds hold - 4 seconds exhale - 2 seconds hold.

If you feel that your breathing allows you to take deeper inhalations/exhalations, then do the cycle not 4/2 seconds but 6/3 or 8/4 and so on.

During the exercise, keep your attention only on your breathing! There should be no more thoughts! It is most important. And then after 3 minutes you will feel relaxed and calm. The exercise is done for no more than 5-7 minutes, according to how it feels. With regular practice, breathing practice not only helps you relax here and now, but also generally puts your nervous system in order and you become less nervous without any exercise. So I highly recommend it.

Okay, so we are prepared. But the time for the event itself has already arrived. Next I will talk about how to behave during the event so as not to be nervous and to be calm and relaxed.

Lesson 4. How to avoid being nervous during an important meeting

Pretend calm: even if neither your emotional mood nor breathing exercises helped you relieve tension, then at least try with all your might to demonstrate external calm and equanimity. And this is necessary not only to mislead your opponents about your current state. Expressing outer peace helps to achieve inner peace. This works on the principle feedback, not only your well-being determines your facial expressions, but also your facial expressions determine your well-being. This principle is easy to test: when you smile at someone, you feel better and more cheerful, even if you were in a bad mood before. I actively use this principle in my daily practice and this is not my invention, it is really a fact, it is even written about in Wikipedia in the article “emotions”. So the calmer you want to appear, the more relaxed you actually become.

Watch your facial expressions, gestures and intonation: the feedback principle obliges you to constantly look inside yourself and be aware of how you look from the outside. Do you seem too stressed? Are your eyes shifting? Are the movements smooth and measured or abrupt and impulsive? Does your face express cold impenetrability or can all your excitement be read on it? In accordance with the information about yourself received from your senses, you adjust all your body movements, voice, and facial expression. The fact that you have to take care of yourself in itself helps you get together and concentrate. And the point is not only that with the help of internal observation you control yourself. By observing yourself, you focus your thoughts at one point - on yourself, and do not let them get confused and lead you in the wrong direction. This is how concentration and calm are achieved.

Eliminate all markers of nervousness: What do you usually do when you're nervous? Tugging in your hands ballpoint pen? Are you chewing on a pencil? Tie it in a knot thumb and the little toe of the left foot? Now forget about it, keep your hands straight and don’t change their positions often. We don’t fidget in our chair, we don’t shift from foot to foot. We continue to look after ourselves.

That's all. All these principles complement each other and can be summarized in the call to “look after yourself.” The rest is specific and depends on the nature of the meeting itself. I would only advise you to think about each of your phrases, take your time with your answer, carefully weigh and analyze everything. No need to try to impress everyone accessible ways, you will produce it anyway if you do everything correctly and don’t worry, work on the quality of your performance. There is no need to mumble and get lost if you are caught by surprise: calmly swallow, forget and move on.

Lesson 5. Calm down after a meeting

Whatever the outcome of the event. You're on edge and still feeling stressed. It's better to take it off and think about something else. All the same principles apply here that helped you pull yourself together before the meeting itself. Try not to think too much about the past event, I mean all sorts of fruitless thoughts, what if I had performed this way and not that way, oh, how stupid I must have looked, oh I’m a fool, what if...! Just throw all thoughts out of your head, get rid of the subjunctive mood (if), everything has already passed, put your breathing in order and relax your body. That's all for this lesson.

Lesson 6. You shouldn’t create any reasons for nervousness at all.

This is a very important lesson. Typically, a significant factor in nervousness is the inadequacy of your preparation for the upcoming event. When you know everything and are confident in yourself, why should you worry about the result?

I remember when I was studying at the institute, I missed a lot of lectures and seminars, I went to the exams completely unprepared, hoping that I would pass and somehow pass. In the end, I passed, but only thanks to phenomenal luck or the kindness of the teachers. I often went for retakes. As a result, during the session I experienced such unprecedented psychological pressure every day due to the fact that I was trying to prepare in a hurry and somehow pass the exam.

During the sessions, an unrealistic number of nerve cells were destroyed. And I still felt sorry for myself, I thought that there was so much that had piled up, how hard it was, eh... Although it was all my fault, if I had done everything in advance (I didn’t have to go to lectures, but at least the material to prepare for the exam and pass all intermediate control tests I could provide for myself - but then I was dominated by laziness and I was not at least somehow organized), then I would not have to be so nervous during exams and worry about the result and about the fact that I would be drafted into the army if I didn’t do something I will pass, because I would be confident in my knowledge.

This is not a call not to miss lectures and study at institutes, I am talking about the fact that you should try not to create stress factors for yourself in the future! Think ahead and prepare for business and important meetings, do everything on time and don’t put it off until the last minute! Always have in mind ready plan, or better yet, several! This will save you a significant part of your nerve cells, and in general will contribute to great success in life. This is a very important and useful principle! Use it!

Lesson 7. How to strengthen the nervous system

In order to stop being nervous, it is not enough just to follow the lessons that I outlined above. It is also necessary to bring the body and mind into a state of peace. And the next thing I will tell you about will be those rules, following which you can strengthen the nervous system and experience less nervousness in general, being calmer and more relaxed. These methods are focused on long-term results; they will make you less susceptible to stress in general, and not only prepare you for a responsible event.

• Firstly, to correct the physiological factor of nervousness and bring the nervous system to a state of rest, you need to meditate regularly. This is very good for calming the nervous system and calming the mind. I’ve written a lot about this, so I won’t dwell on it.
• Secondly, go in for sports and carry out a set of health-supporting measures (contrast shower, healthy eating, vitamins, etc.). In a healthy body healthy mind: Your moral well-being depends not only on mental factors. Sport strengthens the nervous system.
• Walk more, spend time outdoors, try to sit in front of the computer less.
• Exercise breathing exercises.
• Quit bad habits! Learn to relieve stress without cigarettes, alcohol, etc. Look for healthy ways to relax!

Source

The state of nervousness is not alien to every person, especially given the high pace of life and the huge number of information flows. Under such conditions, even minor failures can lead to depression, apathy and other nervous disorders. In order to stop worrying about or without it, you need to learn to control your emotions. There are certain ways to help you calm down and stop being nervous.

Causes of nervousness.

The state of anxiety and mental anguish can be provoked by various circumstances. Each person has different values, and for this reason, different situations can throw him off balance. Often, a person himself heats up the situation by attaching excessive significance to things that are not worth it. Causes of nervousness can be:

• Dangerous situations that pose a threat to health or life;
• Fear of failure or, in fact, failure itself;
• Fear of looking inappropriate in front of others;
• on the eve of important events;
• Anxiety over conflicts and everyday trifles.

The occurrence of moral discomfort under any stress factor is not a physiological process, it is a psychological adjustment. From a physiological point of view, nervousness is associated with the properties of the nervous system, and from a psychological point of view, it is associated with personality characteristics. Thus, the tendency to be nervous is not a natural reaction to stress, but a specific person’s reaction to what is happening.

Ways to stop being nervous.

Thanks to hard work on yourself, it is possible to overcome the state of nervousness. The following ways will help you control your emotions:

Avoiding or eliminating stress.

If you know that a particular situation causes you to experience bouts of anxiety and negative emotions, then, if possible, they should be avoided in advance. If the situation arose spontaneously, then try to find a way to eliminate it. However, not all problems can be “run away”. This method suitable if you are upset by a movie, communication with a new acquaintance, news in social network– close the movie, leave the meeting, go offline.

Abstraction.

If it is impossible to use the method of avoiding negativity, this method will be appropriate. If you find yourself in an environment that makes you nervous, it's worth trying distraction techniques. A good option There is a mental distraction - thinking about something of your own, but visual distraction - contemplation on something extraneous - works even better. This strategy is suitable for meetings and travel.

Drinking water.

A simple but scientifically proven method. A glass of water, drunk without haste, can trigger the body’s self-rehabilitation mechanism. The method is relevant in any situation.

Passion for an interesting activity.

This method is suitable if you cannot “let go” of the problem, if it torments and unnerves you again and again. Techniques can include: reading a fascinating book, knitting, drawing, computer games, leisure. You should be interested in some kind of intrigue, courage, rapid development of events. In pursuit of new sensations, it is important to follow the rule - do not harm anyone else.

Water procedures.

Water is a healing agent for improving psycho-emotional state. Water, both literally and figuratively, washes away all the “dirt.” The following techniques can be used: taking a bath or shower (can be combined with music therapy and light therapy), visiting a sauna or bathhouse, swimming in a river/pond/sea. Even ordinary washing of dishes will help to distract you and bring benefits in the form of direct clean dishes and normalization of mental state.

Physical release.

This method physiologically causes physical relaxation and, as a result, moral relief. Among the effective methods are: long walks on fresh air, dancing, spring-cleaning, work in the garden, sports training, destruction of old things.

Intimacy.

Sex is a great cure for the blues. Ideally, sexual contact should occur with a loved one, but other options are also acceptable. The main thing is to approach the issue wisely and not forget about contraception, otherwise the stress that you can experience after taking a pregnancy test will overshadow all other efforts.

Comparison.

It is enough to compare your situation with a worse case scenario. This method teaches you to appreciate what you have and realize that your situation is not worth such nerves. Effective way can be called for minor problems that are not related to health and a significant decrease in quality of life.

Positive outlook.

A stressful event should be assessed in a positive way. That is, you need to find the positives in the fact that this happened. Maybe thanks to this, you will get much more and pleasant events await you.

Laughter and tears.

These two opposite phenomena can bring moral relief. Although their intertwining is possible: laughter to tears, crying to laughter. Making fun of the problem itself or laughing about something else will lift your mood and help you move away from anxiety faster. Crying, the stronger the better, relieves stress. Even though in the process of sobbing it seems to you that relief is still far away, a new wave of emotions may wash over you, but after the hysteria ends, you will definitely feel better. They leave the body with tears. toxic substances, which were formed during stress.

Check.

The standard method of counting to 10 will help normalize breathing and control the surge of negative emotions. The method is suitable for athletes, and in situations where you want to avoid conflict.

Job.

Passion for your responsibilities at work, additional tasks are very appropriate if you need to take your mind off the problem. This method is suitable for long-term stress.

Verbalization.

Maintaining personal diary, whom you trust with all moments of your life. Not everyone will like this method, but systematically writing down your thoughts on paper will help you get through unpleasant moments faster.

Chat with friends.

It is not necessary to speak out about a disturbing topic, especially if it is not significant. It’s better not to remember the unpleasant incident once again, but just communicate and enjoy it. But, as an option, discussing your problem is also acceptable. Friends will listen, it may be important for you, and they may advise you on something else.

What methods are best not to resort to?

There is a group of methods that have only an apparent positive effect on combating nervousness:

• Drinking coffee
• "Sticking" problems
• Smoking
• Drinking alcohol
• Taking drugs

Perhaps these methods will help to overcome stress, but their use, especially in large quantities, brings enormous harm to health and, ultimately, to a person’s entire life. Therefore, in the balance, the harm significantly outweighs the benefits.

It is very important to learn to live without burdening yourself with worries about trifles. Your health depends on this useful skill, since frequent nervous breakdowns can lead to its deterioration.

I’ll tell you how to learn to remain calm and cool in any situation without using motherwort and any other harmful substances. By applying the described techniques in practice, you will reduce the level of nervousness significantly. It will be very interesting, but first read the short introduction.

Over the past millennia, modern man has forgotten how to run all day long after potential prey and spend all his calories, but he has acquired the ability to get very nervous over any trifle. Unrest, and, as scientists have already proven, entail SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES, most of them fatal. And no matter how much a person understands this, he still continues to be nervous even because of a broken nail.

Why is a person nervous?

We all experience strong internal discomfort when we are nervous, and usually our nerves become tense when some important and responsible event or event is coming up. For example, a karate competition, performing in front of an audience (dancing, singing, theater, presentation), an interview, negotiations, and so on. All this makes us terribly nervous. But here it is important to take into account the physiological and psychological aspects personality. Physiological aspects are associated with the properties of our nervous system, and psychological aspects are associated with the characteristics of our personality: a tendency to overestimate any events (inflating from a fly into an elephant), uncertainty, worry about the final result, which leads to severe anxiety.

As a rule, a person begins to get nervous in situations that are considered dangerous for him or that threaten his life, or when he attaches excessive significance to a particular event. The first option disappears, since a threat in our lives does not often loom before us. But the second option is precisely the reason for everyday nervousness. A person is always afraid of something: hearing a refusal, looking like an idiot in front of the public, doing something wrong - this is what makes us very nervous. Therefore, the causes of nervousness are largely due to the psychological attitude rather than the physiological aspect. And to stop being nervous, we need to understand the origin of nervousness, and, of course, begin to strengthen the nervous system. Having dealt with this, we will understand how to calm down.

Symptoms of nervousness

Do you think nervousness is defense mechanism or an unnecessary nuisance? I think you will say both. When we are nervous, our palms and armpits begin to sweat, our heartbeat quickens, there is confusion in our heads, it is difficult to concentrate on something, we experience irritability and aggression, we cannot sit in one place, we have stomach pains and, of course, we want to go out on a big day. I think you are all familiar with this. These are all symptoms of nervousness.

How to calm down and stop being nervous?

Therefore, firmly understand that the tendency to nervousness is not a natural reaction of the body to some event or an incurable disease of your personality. I assume that this is most likely a psychological mechanism that is firmly entrenched in your system of habits. Or it could be a problem with the nervous system. Nervousness is your individual reaction to what is happening, and no matter what the situation is, you can react in every possible way. I am sure of one thing, nervousness can be eliminated and it must be eliminated, because when you are nervous:

• Your thinking ability drops sharply, and therefore it is very difficult for you to focus on anything specific, and this can only complicate the situation, which requires clarity in your head. For example, you may forget words on stage, fail to remember the necessary information during an exam, or press the wrong pedal while driving.
• You lose control over your intonation, facial expressions, and gestures, which can lead to an undesirable outcome on a date or negotiations.
• Because of nervousness, you get tired quickly, and this has a very detrimental effect on your health. And if you are often nervous, you may become seriously ill, which is highly undesirable.
• You worry about little things, which is why you do not pay attention to the most important and the right things in your life.

I am sure that it will not be difficult for you to remember cases in your life when you were very nervous, as a result of which it had a bad effect on the results of your actions. I am sure that there were moments in your life when, due to psychological pressure, you broke down and lost control of yourself. From this we can draw the following conclusions:

• There is no benefit from nervousness; it only interferes, and very much so.
• You can stop being nervous only by working on yourself.
• In fact, in our lives there are no real reasons to worry, since nothing threatens us and our loved ones, mostly we get nervous over trifles.

I won’t drag my feet, and I’ll tell you about the first way to stop being nervous. This is considered one of the the best ways. Have you noticed that when you are nervous, you rush around the room, you move!!! This means that if you jog, jump, lift weights, or hit a punching bag, you will stop being nervous and you will feel much better. After physical exercise, you definitely need to do breathing exercises (more on this below), or do yoga. helps and slows down the rate of aging. Why don't you have a reason?

Now let's talk about the excessive significance that we attach to certain events. Remember those events in your life that made you very nervous: your boss calls you for a serious conversation, you pass an exam, you invite a girl or guy on a date. Remember and try to assess the level of their importance for you. Now think about your life plans and prospects. What do you want to achieve in this life? Do you remember? Now answer my question: is it really that scary to be late for work and is it worth being nervous about it? Is this something you need to think about?

After all, you will agree with me that in those moments when you are nervous, it is difficult for you to focus on the goals that are important to you. Therefore, instead of worrying about trifles, it is better to start thinking about your own and think about the future, because this is what is really important to you. I am sure that after changing your focus from unnecessary to necessary, you will stop being nervous.

But no matter how positively we set ourselves up, no matter how hard we try to convince our minds that there really is no point in being nervous, the body can still react in its own way. Therefore, let's step forward, where I will explain to you how to bring your body into a state of relaxation and calm before any upcoming important event, both during and after it.

How to calm down before an important event?

So, how not to be nervous before an important event? Every minute we are getting closer and closer to an important event, during which our ingenuity, will, and ingenuity will be severely tested, and if we are able to withstand this serious test, then life will generously reward us, and if not, then we are in trouble . This event could be a final interview for a specific position that you dream of, the conclusion of an important contract, an exam, a date, etc. And if you read the article carefully, you are well aware that you need to get rid of nervousness so that it does not interfere with focusing on the goal.

You understand perfectly well that a major event awaits you just around the corner, but no matter how important it is, all the same, even the worst outcome of this event will not be the end of the world for you. So stop dramatizing and ascribing undue importance to the event. Understand that this is too important an event, and you should not let nervousness ruin it. Therefore, be collected and focused and do everything necessary for this.

So, get rid of all thoughts of defeat from your head. Try not to think about anything, free your head from all thoughts, completely relax, take a deep breath, and then exhale. As I already said, yoga will help you with this. Here I want to give you a simple breathing technique.

Here's how to do it:

• Inhale air for 5 counts (or 5 heartbeats),
• Hold the air for 2-3 counts/beats,
• Exhale for 5 counts/beats,
• Don't breathe for 2-3 counts/beats.

In general, as the doctor says: breathe - don’t breathe. 5 seconds inhale - 3 seconds hold - 5 seconds exhale - 3 seconds hold.

If your breathing allows you to take deeper inhalations and exhalations, then increase the holding time.

Why are breathing exercises so effective? Because during the breathing exercise you are focused exclusively on breathing. This is the kind of thing that I keep talking about. Meditation greatly helps you calm down and stop being nervous. Your head is in a state of emptiness, so you stop being nervous. By practicing breathing exercises, you will not only calm down right here and now, but you will also put your nervous system in order, and this will allow you to be less nervous without exercise.

So, we have prepared ourselves for important event. Now let's talk about how to behave correctly during any event in order to be calm like a boa constrictor and relaxed like a sinew.

How not to be nervous during an important event?

My first advice to you is radiate calm no matter what. If a positive attitude and meditation did not help you stop being nervous, then at least try to externally portray calmness and serenity. The manifestation of external peace will be reflected in the internal. This works on the principle of feedback, that is, not only your inner feeling determines your gestures and facial expressions, but also your gestures and facial expressions determine your well-being. It is not at all difficult to check this. When you walk down the street with a straight posture, squared shoulders and a confident gait, you... If you walk with a stoop, barely move your legs, look at the floor, then the conclusions about you are appropriate.

So watch your facial expressions, gestures and intonation, namely, eliminate all movements of a nervous person. How does a nervous person behave? He picks his ear, pulls his hair, bites a pencil, slouches, cannot express a thought clearly, is pinned to a chair. Instead, sit cross-legged, straighten your shoulders, straighten your back, relax your face, take your time to answer, think first, then speak clearly and clearly.

After a meeting or event, whatever the outcome, the same techniques given above will help you calm down. It will be better if you stop scrolling through fruitless thoughts in your head like, if I said this..., and if I did this..., and it would be better if I kept silent..., and so on. Just stop thinking. You may not be able to do this right away, but over time you will forget anyway.

Finally, I want to tell you that you should not create reasons for concern. Many people just make things up in their minds that it’s not even clear how they came up with it, this is especially true for women. Apparently, their imagination is more developed than that of men, but they just need to direct it in the right direction. Before you start worrying, carefully analyze whether it's worth it. If you can’t calm down, then just accept your situation and come to terms with it. Be nervous for your health, because sooner or later everything will end, and you will definitely calm down.

how to stop being nervous, how not to be nervous, how to calm down

They have always been and remain an integral part of human life. Today it is difficult not to meet someone who would not be susceptible to this, and destructive mental states in our time are considered the absolute norm. Mental pressure surrounds us everywhere: at work, in stores, in the cinema, on public transport, in traffic jams, in queues, etc. Even at home, where there are only people close and dear to us, we are influenced every day stressful situations and worries of various kinds.

But while some people can easily experience them, for others they can become chronic. And now it’s no secret to anyone that chronic anxiety can cause bad mood, predominance negative emotions, mental, emotional and physiological ailments (read how to get rid of all this). It is also known that in order to become chronic, anxiety must simply systematically overcome a person over a certain period of time. As a result, worries and worries can completely ruin a person’s life so that it becomes more of an existence filled with suffering. The issue of getting rid of worries and worries is very relevant, and one cannot but agree with this.

To date, a huge amount of literature has been devoted to the problem of getting rid of worries. different quality. Someone writes pathetic brochures that contain “super-effective” recommendations for getting rid of anxiety - such books are written, as a rule, by absolute amateurs and only for the purpose of obtaining financial gain. But there are also truly worthwhile works, the creation of which was devoted to the creation of sleepless nights and countless hours of painstaking work by the best of people, whose intentions can be considered truly good, because they show a sincere desire to help people and make their lives better.

One of these people is Dale Carnegie, a world-famous American psychologist, teacher and writer who was at the origins of the theory of communication. It was this man who was able to translate the theoretical developments of psychologists of his era (the first half of the 20th century) into the field of practical application.

Dale Carnegie developed his own concept of conflict-free communication, many courses on self-improvement, effective communication skills, speaking, and others, including special attention deserves the art of harmonious living. The books of this man gained enormous fame throughout the world during his lifetime, but even today they remain very in demand and popular.

Today we will talk about Dale Carnegie's book called "". To be more precise, we will not talk about the book itself, but about the advice it contains for improving life, which absolutely anyone can successfully put into practice. Having carried out a lot of research in the field, and paying attention to them long years work, Dale Carnegie was able to formulate special principles, following which people can stop worrying about anything in their lives, and nullify all their worries.

In the book “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living?” the author invites readers to use his ideas, which he not only supports with theory, but also accompanies with examples from real life. There is a great deal of advice in the book, but we offer you only a small part of it.

According to the author, the first and most important thing a person should know about anxiety is that in order to crowd out anxiety from one’s life, it is necessary by all means to distinguish between the past and the future. Carnegie proposes to establish between them " iron doors”, thereby creating the “sealed compartments” of today. It is necessary to live in the present, without regretting the past and without worrying about the future. Otherwise, past experiences and thoughts of hope will create anxiety and worry.

If a person is faced with situations that are associated with excitement and anxiety, he should resort to the so-called “magic” formula of the American inventor Willis Carrier, which is as follows:

• You need to ask yourself the question: “What is the worst thing that could happen to me?”
• Accept this “worst” in advance and come to terms with it if the need arises
• Calmly think about ways you can change the situation

A person should always carry in his mind the thought that worry and anxiety cause enormous harm to his health, which cannot be compensated for by anything. As an example, Dale Carnegie cites the statement that the set business people Those who do not know how to deal with their worries die very early. And this is true, because anxiety makes a person nervous, and the body’s nerve cells, although they are restored, are not so easily and quickly. The more a person worries, the less time he has left to live. Remember this!

In order for a person to experience as little worry, worry and anxiety as possible, he must develop a special state of mind that can bring peace and happiness. You can develop such a mindset with the help of positive and cheerful thinking, cheerful behavior and the very feeling of joy from life. It is necessary to strive to ensure that positive notes prevail in feelings and thoughts. It is not for nothing that it is said that a person’s mental impulses have a formative effect on his life.

One of the main causes of concern is lack of employment. If a person does nothing and his thoughts are not occupied with anything, the consciousness itself can begin to generate restless thoughts that cause anxious states. If you want to get rid of anxiety, load yourself with some activity. Intensive work and employment are the best medicines that can drive out the “demons” of despondency and anxiety from a person’s mind.

Anxiety is a bad habit that needs to be broken. But get rid of bad habit It's best to replace it with . Stop getting upset over minor troubles and trifles - this will be your new habit. Think of small hassles as tiny ants that are ruining your happiness, and don't feel any regret in getting rid of them.

Have you ever heard of the Law of Large Numbers? If not, read about it on the Internet. This Law is perfectly suited for expelling worries and worries from your life. How to use it? Just ask yourself the question more often: “How likely is it that the event that worries me will happen to me?” According to the Law of Large Numbers, this probability is negligible.

Many people experience suffering and continue to worry even after something unpleasant has already happened. Don't make this mistake - learn to accept the inevitable. This means that if you know that you cannot change or correct a situation or circumstances, you need to take it for granted, tell yourself: “So it must be this way and no other way” and calm down.

To gain control over your worries, you need to set a “limiter” that will regulate your anxiety level. Setting a “limiter” means simply deciding for yourself what degree of concern this or that event occurring in your life deserves. Set a limit that you should never go beyond, and don't let your anxiety overcome it.

Worries overwhelm a person when he is overly focused on himself. To neutralize worries, you need to forget about yourself and show more interest in the people around you. You can do some kind deed every day even towards to a stranger. It may seem unusual and complicated, but the result will more than justify itself.

As you can easily see, Dale Carnegie's advice is very easy to apply. The only effort that needs to be made for them to begin to produce tangible results is to make a firm decision to restructure your thinking in a positive way, to finally stop worrying and start living!

Learn more about managing anxiety and stress. Sign up!

Have a nice day and stay calm!