How to avoid bad company (for teenagers). Bad Company. How to help a teenager

As the great eastern poet and sage Omar Khayyam once wrote, “You are better off starving than eating anything, and it is better to be alone than with anyone.” We think he was absolutely right, and here's why...

Who we are and who we will become depends largely on the kind of people we choose to surround ourselves with. Yes, we cannot always influence which people will appear in our lives and when they will do it, but only we can decide who we will allow to stay next to us, who will become our ideal, and whom we will leave behind, and We will never look back at him.

Of course, we all have our own preferences about who we want next to us, but I encourage you to first surround yourself with people who will help you become a better person and get rid of those who are holding us back. Here are a few characteristic features that people from your current company are exactly the latter:

1. They only find time to communicate with you when it is convenient for them.

It is obvious that any relationship between people that does not include regular communication and interaction between them is doomed to failure, especially when one of the parties does not make any effort to strengthen it.

Don't waste your time with people who only let you in when it's convenient for them. You shouldn't force someone to make room for you in their life, because if someone really cares about you, they will do it themselves - and with joy.

If you continue to maintain a relationship with a person who in some way considers you unworthy and only tolerates you around, this is not fidelity. It is nonsense. Never beg for someone else's attention. Know that you deserve better and if you have to leave this person in the past, so be it.

2. They reproach you with your past.

Some people refuse to accept that you are not the same person you once were. That no matter what mistakes you've made in the past, you've learned everything you can from them and have long since outgrown them.

It's quite possible that they simply can't stand the fact that you are constantly growing and changing - so much so that you may soon be better than them - and they are trying to keep you in the past so that you will continue to be at their level. Don't help them by getting into constant fights and arguments with them, or reacting to their negative behavior in any other way. Keep moving forward no matter what.

Trying to live in an unchanging past only wastes time and energy that could be used to create a better present and future. So if someone constantly judges you based on what happened in your past and reproaches you for it, perhaps you should invest in your own future by ending your relationship with them.

3. They make you feel trapped.

A healthy and correct relationship is like a house on a warm summer day, a house in which all the windows and doors are wide open. A house in which it is always light breathes deeply, and no one feels trapped.

Naturally, in such an environment, personal and friendly relationships flourish wildly. You know that you can leave at any time if you wish, but you decide to stay because you like being here, and with these people.

If you want to be a part of someone's life, even everyone won't force you to leave. open windows and doors in the world. If someone is closing them in front of you, trying to keep you in a place where you simply don’t want to stay any longer, it’s time to gain strength and courage and knock down that locked door.

4. They laugh at your dreams and abilities.

If you allow strangers to tell you what you should do and what you should dream about, you are allowing them to hold you in place if they so choose. What you are actually capable of may actually have absolutely nothing to do with what others think is possible for you. What you are capable of is really only determined by what you choose to do with your time and energy.

People around us are constantly trying to put us into some kind of framework, suggesting and pointing out what is possible and what is impossible. Try to see beyond other people's assumptions and mental limitations, and create your own vision of what your life should (and could) be like. Life is an eternal, never-ending journey, and you achieve in it what you strive for and what you work for.

So... try not to worry too much about other people's opinions. Live the way you want, live your truth. And know that the only people those who will be annoyed by this are those who want you to live not the truth, but a lie.

5. They constantly deceive you.

Love is a verb, not a noun. She must be active in any relationship. Love is not only feelings of passion and romance between loving hearts, it is also a certain type of behavior between friends and relatives.

And there simply cannot be a drop of lies in this behavior. If close person He lies to you, there is not a drop of love in him, and he does not respect you or his relationship with you.
If you continue to maintain a relationship with a chronic liar, giving him a “second chance” over and over again, you have a lot in common with him - both he and you lie to you, and do not love you!

And one more thing: people who avoid the truth and tell you only what you want to hear are doing it for their own benefit, not yours. You should not tolerate this, even if you are pleased to hear it.

6. Their negativity penetrates your soul.

Negative people you meet on your life path, behave negatively not only and exclusively towards you, they do this towards everyone with whom they communicate. What they say and do is primarily a projection of their own reality, and a product of their internal problems.

So even if they tell you something that seems personal to you, and even if they directly insult you, most likely none of it actually has anything (or little) to do with you.

You should know this, if only to avoid taking what negative people say and do too personally. While you can't control what they say or do, it's up to you to decide whether to let them say nasty things to you, much less do anything to you.

You, and only you, can block their toxic words and actions from entering your heart and mind. And if you feel the poison and bitterness of these people starting to seep into your soul, give yourself a break. Find a place and time for yourself that will allow you to breathe deeply.

Positive things only start happening to you when you step away from negative people. You do this not because you hate them, but because you respect yourself.

7. They are constantly (and excessively) jealous of what you have.

If someone is a little jealous of you, that's understandable and normal, but when someone becomes overly jealous of what you have, chances are good that what that person really wants to do is take that "something" away. you.

Excessive envy does not tell you that someone admires you - it tells you that this “someone” hates himself. If you have the time and desire, you can try to help them rise above this hatred, but be careful that they do not drag you down with them.

Be prepared for the fact that often neither love, nor promises, nor proof that you respect them are able to help them feel better. In this case, it is better to give up and hope that sooner or later they will be able to heal their soul on their own. In the end, every person must achieve true happiness themselves.

8. They encourage your prejudices or hatred.

To be honest, when it comes to birth, we are all equal. And neither religion, nor race, nor height, nor waist size makes anyone better or worse than others. And therefore, all collective prejudices are garbage, whose place is on the sidelines of history, and only snobs and hypocrites deliberately cultivate them in themselves.

If you start judging other people by their skin color, size and external beauty, you risk never truly understanding them. Believe me, once you put your preconceptions aside, you will be amazed at how complex, interesting and multifaceted many of those people are who you have never looked at before because they dress, look and live differently from you.

People who encourage you to judge others based on stereotypes and prejudices are bad company. The worst possible, so avoid them at all costs.

9. They try to make you into someone else.

Spend more time with people who see you as you are, not as they want you to be. Spend even more time with those who truly know you to your core and still love and respect you.

If someone wants you to be something you are not (and expects you to behave accordingly), take a step back from them and evaluate the situation realistically. As a rule, it is much better to end a relationship with this person by remaining who you are than to maintain it by pretending to be someone you are not.

Believe me, it is better to go through the pangs of separation, calm down, and find someone else, than to try for someone else’s sake to merge with someone else’s mask, and then piece together your true personality. It's much easier to fill an empty space in your life where someone else used to be than to try to do it with empty space where YOU used to be.

Companies and just people meet in our lives every day. Even if we managed to gain a foothold in any of them, this does not mean that our real company is now good company. In fact, it may just be a strange attachment that we feel for these people, or a simple reluctance to change something in our life. But the truth remains true: if our environment does not make us better, but, on the contrary, makes us feel like a failure, it is a bad environment. It needs to be changed. And today’s article will help you with this.

1. They only date you when it's convenient for them.

The very first and most obvious sign. If a company or person meets you only at a time convenient for them, leave them: these are not friends or even acquaintances. If you can’t invite them to hang out with you or go for a drink, and any initiative comes only from them at the most inopportune time for you - congratulations, they are taking advantage of you! Don't let them do this, bro! Despite beautiful words about relationships in the spirit of “No one owes anyone anything,” this does not happen. If dudes get into a relationship, it means they owe something to someone.

2. They constantly bring up your past.

These people do not allow the idea that you could change. They take some pleasure in reminding you of old mistakes, showing you what a bad dude you are. Although many years have passed. Guys who treat you with respect will never remember your past because they see that it is gone and you have changed too. Those who are so attentive to what has sunk into oblivion must be left behind, otherwise they will have to repair their future.

3. You feel trapped

A healthy relationship is healthy because you can easily come to this person and leave. You can break away and run, and then come back. When the relationship is normal, there is a feeling that all the doors and windows are wide open: you can come, go, and you can breathe well. In relationships with the “wrong people” (no matter what), you feel like a prisoner, as if you were lured into a house and then locked. You feel uncomfortable, awkward, you can’t relax. So why not find the strength within yourself and leave them?

4. They disparage your abilities and dreams.

Normal dudes will praise you for something good and scold you for something bad. But they won’t just scold you for all sorts of nonsense. There was a friend in my life who constantly belittled my abilities in all areas and believed that my dreams were stupid, naive and bad. And she was also sure that I was doing something I didn’t like. Or rather, everything I do doesn’t suit me. Over the years, I realized that my friend was simply trying to show off my background, belittling my, by the way, obvious advantages. If they tell you that what you definitely do well (and you know it yourself) is complete garbage, know, bro, you are in bad company - it’s time to get out of here. And never make excuses for these dudes, like she/he just has their own opinion. Of course, she expressed her opinion, but why do you need such people around? Buddies, friends and loved ones should support you. And occasionally scold for the cause.

5. They lied to you more than once (big time)

Love, like friendship, are things that are confirmed by deeds. If someone lies to you, it only means one thing: they don't respect you. And your relationship too.

Let’s say you forgave a person for some lie, but he then sets you up again, and in the same stupid and disrespectful way. And why all? Because he doesn't respect your feelings and acts in his own interests. This dude may not even realize what he is actually doing, but he will still lie to you chronically.

6. They are negative

There are people who have a negative attitude towards everything. You should also not start a relationship with them. Their negativity is expressed in a negative attitude not only towards you, but also towards everything that is related to you. this moment relates and interacts with you. These people are constantly sarcastic, teasing you and the people around you, you will think that this is just their nature, but in reality they are bad company.

7. They are very jealous of you

White envy does not apply to all property and personal qualities person. If a person envies “white envy” of everything that has to do with another person, then this envy is not “white” at all, but the most common one. Envy in no way means that you are admired. Envy is always contempt and disrespect for a person. Therefore, if you hear from a person the eternal “What kind of girlfriend do you have!”, “What kind of car do you have” - know that he is jealous and hates you. Is that bad.

8. They force you to be biased and hate others.

If your friend and company force you to disrespect and hate others, this company is a priori not the most positive. Decide for yourself who you hate: not the little one!

9. They want you to be someone else.

The most important reason bro. If other signs sometimes occur in good people, then this sign almost always means that you are in bad company. Your friends or family know what kind of person you are. If they try to change something, it’s only in your habits, and then it’s absolutely optional: if you want, change it, if you want, don’t. A bad company wants to completely change you. These people are trying in every possible way to change you and attribute to you various shortcomings that you have not observed in yourself. They belittle you and try in every possible way to show you your place. And also decide for you. Why do you need them, bro? Do not mind it.

But these are not all signs of a bad company. There are many others. In the comments you can write other signs of companies that you consider bad.

Content:

Not all friendships stand the test of time. If a group of friends behaves arrogantly, annoys you, or treats you poorly, then you have the right to end the relationship. You can gradually move away from them or immediately cut off all ties. Try to be honest with them about your decision. If you think that ending the relationship completely is not the best option, then try to voice your grievances and build friendships or start spending less time in such company.

Steps

1 How best to leave

1. 1 Tell us about your decision. The easiest way to leave the company is to tell them about your decision. You can notify all your friends at once or talk to them one by one. This method is fraught with awkwardness, as friends may have a lot of questions.
   • If you are very close with all your friends in the company, then it is better to tell everyone at once.
   • If you are closest to several people, then talk to them first, and then to all your other friends.
   • Prepare for a conversation if you are going to notify the entire company. Write down important thoughts so you don't miss or forget anything.
2. 2 Move away gradually. Sometimes it is better not to tell everything directly, but to gradually and slowly move away from the company. Unless your friends are involved in dangerous or illegal activities, there is usually no need to cut ties abruptly. If you move away gradually and eventually stop communicating completely, then it won’t hurt your friends as much as if you leave abruptly.
   • Stop sharing personal details and events that happen to you.
   • Spend your free time with other friends or find a hobby.
   • Sometimes you miss calls from friends and respond to messages late.
   • Over time, friends will become ordinary acquaintances, so it will be easier to stop communicating (if you want).
   • You should understand that friends may have questions. They may ask what is the reason for the distance, what happened and if everything is okay with you. Try to answer questions honestly.
3. 3 Stop all communication. This method may seem dry and heartless, but if your friends treat you badly, then there is no other choice. Don't resort to this method if you just want to avoid awkward questions and open conversation. It is better to discuss the situation directly and openly than to burn all bridges. In addition, after a relationship ends abruptly, you will have to "ignore" people or avoid meeting them in the future.
   • There is no need to explain anything, answer calls, messages or letters.
   • Block your friends' pages on in social networks.
4. 4 Organize a party. If you move to another city for work or study, you have to part with close friends. In this case, you should have a farewell party. Come up with an activity that the whole group will enjoy - go to a water park or go to your favorite restaurant. Throw a party to say goodbye to close friends and reminisce about the good old days.
   • Keep in touch with close friends on social networks, call, write letters and messages.
   • Come visit at every opportunity.
   • Write a letter to each friend and tell them how special they are to you. Give thanks for all the years of friendship and remember specific cases that will demonstrate your closeness.

2 How to behave

1. 1 . If friends insist that you explain your departure, then speak sincerely, regardless of the reasons. For example, you shouldn't think about moving if you just want to stop communicating. Be honest and open about why you decided to leave the company.
   • If you find it easier to express your thoughts in writing, then it is fine to send a message or letter explaining why to your closest or all your friends.
2. 2 Respect your friends' feelings. Sometimes the truth hurts. Find a way to tell the truth while still being respectful. For example, if you decide to leave because your interests no longer coincide or your friends have become very boring, then try to tactfully explain: “I've been finding it increasingly difficult to communicate with you lately.” There is no need to humiliate or reproach your friends.
   • Focus on your feelings and point of view, speak in the first person. Don't blame or say, “You're so boring.”
   • Lies lead to new lies. It is better to be honest about the reasons for leaving.
   • Sometimes it's best to use a long answer that allows you to speak respectfully and honestly. For example, “I don’t have much free time” or “I have to travel a lot” would be a good answer to the question why you began to spend less time with friends.
3. 3 Stand your ground. Friends (especially long-time ones) often try to bring a person back to the company. Don't give up decision taken, do not give in to pressure or intimidation.
   • For example, if a friend convinces you to continue communicating, then say “Sorry, but I don’t have any free time at all” or “You - great company, but now it’s important for me to be alone.”
   • If your friends keep inviting you to hangouts, then politely decline all offers.

3 How to avoid ending a relationship

1. 1 Discuss problems with a group of friends. Talk about what you find unacceptable. For example, if your friends constantly avoid you, then talk to one of them privately. Perhaps this situation arose unintentionally, and after this conversation they will change their behavior.
2. 2 Take a break. Sometimes you can stop communicating temporarily to see how leaving the company will make your life better. Try to figure out how you can live without them. Find new friends, invent a new hobby and spend time with loved ones.
   • If your life changes for the better, you can completely stop communicating with the company.
   • If you miss your friends, then during a break in communication, try to understand that they are not bad people at all, and then resume the relationship. Say that you miss you and really want to meet.
3. 3 Convince your friends to change. You can leave a company that indulges in unacceptable behavior, or you can try to convince your friends that what they are doing is wrong and explain what their mistake is. Before you distance yourself from your friends, help them understand that this behavior will not lead to anything good.
   • If friends take drugs or abuse alcohol, encourage them to seek professional help.
   • If friends invite you to engage in theft or vandalism with them, then it is better to dissuade them from such actions. Remind about possible consequences, if they are caught, and also offer alternative entertainment within the limits of the law.

4 How to know when it's time to leave

1. 1 Friends control you. If your friends constantly say that you should communicate only with them, then it is better to end such relationships. They may be slandering your other friends or significant other in order to make you not devote time to other people. Get away from them as soon as possible.
2. 2 Friends are a bad influence on you. People often repeat after those around them. A person’s friends have a very big influence on him, in a good or bad sense. If they do bad things, then it is better to leave such a company to avoid trouble. Examples of bad behavior:
   • Shoplifting
   • Drug or alcohol addiction
   • Destruction of public or private property
   • Other violations of law and moral standards
3. 3 Friends ignore you. If he often does not invite you to meetings, then it is better to think about ending the relationship. This behavior may be an indirect manifestation bad attitude to you. If people don't value your company, then they are not your friends at all.
4. 4 Friends only turn to you when they are in trouble. Do they only communicate with you when they need something? This is bad company. If you pay for entertainment and food, hold parties at your home, and your friends do not return the favors, then you are simply being taken advantage of.
5. 5 Friends compete with you. If your friends are always trying to get ahead of you in everything, then it is better to end your relationship with them. Don't associate with those who belittle your achievements. You don't need such friends.
   • For example, if you wrote independent work for a B, and friends say that this is a bad grade, since they received A's, it is better to stop communicating.
   • If you complain about a bad day, and your friends argue that they are having an even more difficult time, then it is better to leave such a company.
6. 6 Communication drains you. People spend time with friends to feel energized, regain strength and improve their mood.
   • If you are constantly looking for a reason to refuse a meeting, then it is possible that the company of friends has a bad effect on your emotional state.
   • Get rid of friends who oppress you with constant complaints, problems and criticism.

• Try to leave the company with your best friend. This way you won't be left alone after you end your relationship with them.
• Don't force others to leave the company with you, but encourage them to consider it.

So, you have been invited for an interview. Do you really want to work in this position and are very afraid of not passing the selection? Then you need to gather all your willpower and prepare for the conversation: think about your clothing style and rehearse your speech, taking into account likely questions.

11 basic interview questions and smart answers to them can be found here. How to answer difficult and non-standard questions to please the employer? What questions the recruiter will ask depends on what position the employee is being hired for, however, as a rule, there are standard set Questions that are asked to all applicants will be discussed below.

Before conducting an interview, the employer usually invites the applicant to fill out a special questionnaire, a sample of which can be viewed.

Lately, situational questions have been very popular, when the employer describes the situation and invites the applicant to choose the correct manner of behavior in this situation.

11 main interview questions with answers

1. How to answer the question - Tell us about yourself at the interview.

When answering this question and other questions from the interviewer, remain calm and speak in a confident tone. Tell us what will be important for the employer to hear: place of study and specialty, work experience, knowledge and skills, interest in this particular work and personal qualities - resistance to stress, learning ability, hard work. This point is discussed in more detail in, where an approximate story of the applicant about himself is given, as well as recommendations on how best to answer.

2. What to answer at an interview to the question - Why did you quit?

Answering the question why they left previous place work, do not talk about conflicts at your previous job and do not speak badly about your boss or colleagues. You may be suspected of conflict and inability to work in a team. It is better to remember the positive moments from past experience, and the reason for leaving is the desire to fully realize one’s abilities, the desire to improve professional level and wages.

3. How to answer the question - Why do you want to work for us?

Start with positive points in the work of the company - stability and a professional, well-coordinated team, interest in the field of activity, and then add what attracts the position and work schedule, proximity to home, decent wages.

4. Why do you think you are suitable for this position?

How to answer the question - why should we hire you? Here you must prove very clearly and convincingly that you are the best specialist in this field. Tell us about the work of the company and the industry in which you are going to work, do not hesitate to praise yourself, tell us about your achievements.

5. How should you answer a question about shortcomings at an interview?

The question of shortcomings is quite a tricky one. It’s not worth posting your disadvantages as best you can. Name such “disadvantages” that look more like advantages. For example: I’m picky about my work, I don’t know how to distance myself from work. And it’s best to say neutrally: I, like everyone else, have shortcomings, but they do not in any way affect my professional qualities.

6 secrets for a successful interview

6. What strengths do you have?

• communication skills;
• learning ability;
• punctuality;
• diligence.

This standard examples advantages that are included in almost every application, they are not of particular significance for the employer, and do not distinguish the applicant from others in any way.

It is better to talk at an interview about professional advantages that will be useful and interesting to the employer:

• I have experience in negotiations at various levels;
• easily conclude important agreements and contracts;
• I can organize my work day rationally, etc.

Such answers will attract attention and stand out among other answers.

7. What salary do you expect?

Services good specialist can't be cheap. There is an option - name an amount higher than the average salary, or focus on the salary you received at your previous job and inflate it by 10 -15%. Stick to the golden mean, otherwise they may think that either you bad specialist, or too ambitious.

8. Where do you see yourself in 5-10 years?

Persistent and purposeful people set themselves long term goals, plan their personal and career. If you haven't thought about this question yet, do so before your interview. Focus on your desire to work in the same company, but during this time climb the career ladder.

Do not hide your previous place of work, be prepared to give phone numbers former colleagues and managers. If you hesitate or avoid answering this question altogether, the employer may assume that you want to avoid negative feedback.

10. Are you ready for professional workload?

The employer can hint at overtime in this way. In this case, ask how often they are possible: how many times a month or for how many hours. If you are ready for such conditions, then confirm your readiness for stress.

11. Do you have any additional questions?

It's time to find out the details future work: starting from the schedule and social. package, to the requirements for company employees. A person who does not ask questions after an interview shows disinterest. So there must be questions, and it is best to think through them in advance.

Examples of excellent, good and bad answers to interview questions:

Video - awkward interview questions