The anniversary of death is celebrated on the same day or. Is it possible to remember before the date of death: how to remember and what to do

According to Christian traditions, the deceased is remembered on the third, ninth and fortieth day after his death. Mourning the dead for forty days was still an Old Testament custom.

the main task ritual - to help the soul of a deceased person pass into another world easily and calmly. At a wake, you should remember the deceased with a kind word, remember him warmly and pray for his soul.

It is necessary to visit the grave of the deceased, order the necessary services at the “Repose” church and organize a memorial meal to which all relatives and friends of the deceased are invited.

It is customary to bring flowers to the cemetery ( even number) and a candle; in some regions of the country, relatives leave cookies or sweets on the grave so that strangers can also remember the deceased.

You can make a short speech and say a prayer, but drinking alcohol at the grave is strictly prohibited.

A funeral dinner should not be like a buffet or feast. The purpose of a memorial meal is to remember the deceased person, remember him and support each other in such a difficult life situation.

The table may be quite modest, but the main dishes of a wake are traditionally: pies, noodles, kulesh, kanun, porridge and pancakes. Sliced ​​meats and vegetables, mushrooms and salads are allowed. As for alcoholic beverages, give preference to the church wine “Cahors”. Alcohol at a funeral dinner is usually poured twice - “to commemorate the soul.”

Other religions also have funeral customs. For example, in Islam it is believed that on the day of the funeral it is necessary to do a good deed: help the weak or donate money to charity.

Is it possible to move the day of the funeral?

There are unforeseen life circumstances in which the question of postponing the funeral meal arises.

The Orthodox Church believes that for serious, valid reasons, the funeral dinner can be moved forward or back several days.

But if there are no compelling reasons for postponing, it is still better to hold the funeral exactly on the fortieth day of death.

In addition to prayers and meals, relatives should distribute refreshments to people in need “to commemorate their souls.”

A funeral meal should not be held if it coincides with major events. Orthodox holidays(Easter, Christmas, Trinity). In this case, it is better to postpone the funeral.

If you decide to postpone the funeral, it is better to hold it a few days later exact date of death.

Today we don’t even know what..... It’s the child’s birthday, 10 years old, very big, the morning began with a celebration.... and continued with a call about the death of my husband’s grandmother. He was informed about this on the way to work, in the subway . I’m sitting and don’t know what to do.

Discussion

In general, it’s family rock for us...
My mother's grandmother died on her birthday. Our grandfather died on my sister's birthday. Our grandmother was buried on the day my son was born...
Celebrate your birthday! Life goes on...

My beloved grandmother died on our wedding day, not on the celebration itself, but a few years later... My mother, as a fairly religious person, said that this good sign, so to speak, from the point of view of the other world... Now I can’t explain correctly. I really sympathize with you, it’s hard, strength to you!

Dr. Nochevkin: “Atherosclerosis is not a death sentence.”

The statistics are not encouraging: according to the official version of the ministries of health of all countries, cardiovascular diseases confidently lead the list of killer diseases. And in our time, the sad trend of “rejuvenation” of a terrible disease threatens not only elderly people, but also middle-aged people. Today I am talking with a cardiologist at the Medroskontrakt clinic, Evgeniy Vadimovich Nochevkin. - Evgeniy Vadimovich, now information is widely disseminated on all television channels and print media that atherosclerosis has become one of...

Then something seemed a little dark, wondering if it was possible in a “cafe with a baby.” On Saturday there will be an outdoor session, music, fire show, all our friends will be there (we want to take Misha with us). They invited me to the wake, of course I refused, but the offer itself was somehow strange. I’m thinking, what are you guided by when you decide where to take your baby?

Discussion

You can skip the wake, but it depends on whose funeral... I have to bury my grandmother on Monday, many are dissuading me, but I can’t help but come, because... she is a very close person to me. But we're going to separate car, I don’t plan to go to church, I’ll take the child in a sling to the cemetery, at the funeral the baby will be in a separate room.. In general, I enjoy going out into nature, sometimes we also go to shops and cafes, the main thing is that there are no crowds. And I don’t accept places where it’s smoky!

safety and smoking indoors. I also didn’t go to the wake immediately after death - our distant relatives only gather there.

What do centenarians do? Aging and the secrets of longevity
...Here are their general answers. What is the aging process? The aging process can be thought of as a balance between the individual and environment. In essence, aging is associated with a breakdown in adaptation mechanisms, a loss of internal control and balance. Peak human maturity occurs at 25 years of age. For some time, no changes occur in the body, and then, from about 45 years old, our strength declines. Old age is a period when the balance tilts towards the environment...

I just wanted to whine. I understand that this is ugly, but I don’t want to. My father's wake. Year. They will take place in the Rostov region. I need to go, the tickets have already been bought - I'm leaving today, but I just can't get myself ready. There are several reasons. Firstly, I have already begun to calm down a little after a terrible nervous breakdown and depression on this topic. And now we have to relive everything all over again. Relatives and his colleagues will gather and again begin to stir up the past. Secondly, my relatives snapped at me for being...

Discussion

This is the second time I’ve come across a discussion of funerals/memories, etc. in the conference, but this time I’ll chime in.
This topic is very close to me now. Over the past six months, many close and dear people have passed away, such a monstrous period in life. I still can’t talk about these topics, I don’t discuss, I don’t complain - everything is too fresh and painful, but here I can say the following from a detached perspective.
I don’t know a single person who would say that he likes to attend wakes/funerals and other ritual events. IMHO, no one likes it. It’s just that some people see more meaning in this, while others pay tribute to traditions, do it for the sake of the departed, relatives, etc. In some situations, we can still choose - to stay at home, go to the cemetery, or just visit friends common places, in order to remember again, mentally return to someone, but in some cases, IMHO, there is no choice. If this affected your family, that is, the “inner circle” itself, then there can be no speculation about what other relatives will gather there. You are going there because it will be your father's memorial day. That's all, we can put an end to this. Colleagues, other relatives, friends and acquaintances - this is very secondary, believe me. A year is both a lot and a little. A lot, because you were already somehow able to start living, to recover, a little - because... because it’s not enough.
I still have to live through this year. And not only this one.
What's all this about? Don't get stuck on the unimportant - relatives of your ex, colleagues - that's not the ESSENCE of the event. You will be there with those who are really close to you. And you will remember, think, come back. It's necessary. Tune in not to an official nightmare, but to communication. With loved ones, and with the one for whose sake all this is being started.
Hang in there, this is also part of life, no matter how strange it may sound.

What does mom think? if she wants to go, think about what you are eating for her - to support her and make it easier for her. And if she doesn’t want it either, then, IMHO, send everyone to hell. Sit together with her and remember. After all, he had no one closer to you - why should you think about anyone else but him?

Our elderly relative died, this is my children’s great-uncle. It so happened that they didn’t tell their youngest daughter about this right away, and then they didn’t tell them either... they weren’t particularly close, so I don’t think it would be traumatic for her. On Sunday everyone will gather for 40 days. My mother-in-law and I are thinking of taking the children there, and accordingly telling the youngest that grandfather has died. It turns out that this will be the first small encounter with death in her life. In what way is it better to say whether it is necessary to carry out in connection with...

Discussion

We got together today. They didn’t take children, and rightly so, there was simply nothing for them to do there. I told my daughter about the death of my grandfather, explained that he was old, everything seemed to be fine... Thanks to everyone who took part!

My daughter was exactly 4 years old when my grandmother died, whom my daughter only got to see once or twice. I took my daughter for 40 days mainly to get to know that part of my relatives (my parents have been divorced since I was three years old and I don’t see that family often). I just can’t remember if I told her for what occasion we had gathered - probably yes, because... I don't have the habit of hiding anything from her, no dark sides life. I only know for sure that there are no negative emotions My daughter didn't have it.

We need to celebrate the wake in a cafe. There won’t be many people, but it’s probably not comme il faut to sit in mourning among other people. How can all this be organized? Thanks for answers.

Discussion

The agent helped us with this too. It was a great little room.

We rented a separate room. They, as it turned out, were in every second of the nearby cafes (the halls are mostly small, for a maximum of 30 people).
They specified that there would be no music in the next room and noisy company, since in most cases the hall is separated not by a solid door, but by curtains. But if you start the wake at 3-4 o’clock, then there is no problem. Because of this, we chose a cafe closer to the cemetery (and at the same time close to the metro, so that everyone could get back later).

Topic: Dad died, what should I do? please help, my dad died, he has a third of the apartment (besides me, a daughter and a wife, the apartment was privatized into three shares: the father, his wife and daughter, there is also me) I know that if there is no will, then I will inherit a third of his share, where Should I declare this (about my rights) I don’t have a death certificate, I don’t have to take it (there’s no way, I don’t communicate with his wife and daughter) can I just come to the notary and tell him about it? without a death message? They somehow check whether there is a will...

Discussion

Regret. If your father lived in Moscow, then you have the right to accept the inheritance from any notary if you open the case first. If your wife and daughter open first, then you will have to submit an application to that notary. You need to accept the inheritance within 6 months
First, you should obtain a death certificate from the registry office where the death was registered - it is issued at the place of residence or at the place of death.
You can receive it by presenting your birth certificate and marriage certificate if you changed your last name.
Next, you go to the passport office at the father’s place of registration and receive a certificate (namely a certificate, not an extract) from the place of residence of the deceased.
Next, go to any notary and open a case on the basis of a death certificate, a certificate of residence, your birth certificate, marriage certificate (if any), your passport. Next, ask the notary to make inquiries to the Bank and all organizations in the apartment.
Good luck

Take a duplicate of the death certificate from the registry office where it was registered. They will give it to you without any problems if you can prove your relationship. Your birth certificate. As for the share, you go to the notary’s office, which includes the house where the father was registered (testamentary matters are considered not just anywhere, but in a specific notary office at the place of registration). Again, show documents about your affiliation with him and ask about the will and everything else. We did this a year ago with my husband’s grandmother. We talked about creating a unified base for natarius. Maybe she started to act, but still go from there.

Girls, is it possible to arrange a 40-day commemoration on the 39th day? Or is it better after the 40th day, since everyone has difficulty leaving work at 40?

Discussion

As much has already been said, what is 40 days?
This is not just a “traditional” date to be “marked” and forgotten. According to the Dormition (in Orthodoxy people do not die), the soul remains on earth for up to 3 days, usually near its body, for we are all attached to it more than to anything else... That is why it is very good at this time if the coffin with the body will be in the Temple (essentially in the house of God). After 3 days, the soul ascends to worship the Lord. From this day until the 9th day, the soul is shown the heavenly abodes and is allowed to take part in all the services that take place THERE. From the 9th to the 40th day, the soul goes through the so-called ordeal, where a kind of exam is passed on what the soul strives for more: good deeds or doing various indecent things. On the 40th day, the so-called PRIVATE COURT takes place, where the further location of the soul is decided (to put it simply, heaven or hell).
The soul itself can no longer pray for itself. That’s why prayers, alms, and good deeds are so important... Especially in 40 days! And that’s why day 40 is important, when a person’s fate is decided...
Hence the conclusion - if for you everything that has been said is fairy tales, fiction, etc., then whether to comply or not, day to day or earlier, will not matter later. If you wish the deceased a better fate. , then it’s better not to transfer anything. But be sure to talk in detail with the priest. He will tell you what, when and how best to do in order to benefit both the deceased and himself!

Since childhood, I know that funerals are possible, but birthdays cannot be earlier.

Gentlemen, moderators, is it possible for me, as a gigantic exception, to keep my previous nickname? I’ve already become fused with it. Because now I don’t like it:(((

Discussion

1. The rules are the same for everyone, without exception.
2. What's wrong with your nickname? Too long? Come up with a shorter idea... For children, you can specify rulers (and informers - shorter versions of rulers) and show them in the appropriate conferences, all together :)

I don’t know what to do: (A relative (57 years old), not close, died, but we communicated. The person himself is ambiguous.. But personally he didn’t do anything bad to me, but my relatives took a sip: (And I’m now going through a very difficult period in my life. Nobody doesn’t know much about it, but it’s really a “hanger”:((I feel that this negativity (and there is a lot of it, around the death of this citizen, was lit alive and continues after death).. I can’t stand it. Is it possible not to go to the funeral ? I was called:(

Discussion

You are kind of tender.
By appearing at a funeral, you are supporting your relatives at least in a small way, maintaining family relationships, even the deceased has nothing to do with it. I have just come from the funeral of the mother of my subordinate, whom I have never seen in my life. But she raised good man, whom I respect and with whom I still work and work. And the person had to be supported. Including financially. How it is with me and what, what the circumstances are, this has little to do with the matter, it is deeply personal.
By demonstrating respect for traditions, you raise children by example.

Today my dad died... a completely ridiculous death... But the question is, how can I explain to my son? He simply doted on his grandfather... The last time he saw his grandfather was in the hospital... My son is 4 years old, while he is just talking about grandfather, but will soon want to see him... Should I take him to the funeral? Or let it be better in the garden... Sorry, but I myself don’t know which end to approach from..

Discussion

I was 5 years old when my grandfather died, we were inseparable, but inside I was told not to leave them in the evening, I was visiting, I cried, and when a neighbor called us at 4 o’clock. I realized that something had happened to him, I cried for months. It will be 10 years in February, but I still can’t believe he’s gone.

At a funeral - under no circumstances! I took a 9-year-old, having explained everything in advance and she decided to go herself, but then we both regretted it. The youngest was 4 days shy of 3 years old when his beloved great-grandmother died. I tried to be as truthful as possible, but without details, I tried to honestly explain what “died” was (he encountered this for the first time, before that he didn’t even know at the level of insects), i.e. what it is - forever. I think that the child’s psyche was protected in some way - he immediately began to look for an alternative (and - the name of the other grandmother - will not die?), He was sad at times, but this quickly passed. Then he returned to this topic more than once, several months later, he thought it over, and found a “way out” for himself (in procreation in the future).

Sorry - I don’t know where it’s appropriate to ask such a question - I decided in the family room. Who knows - they organize a wake for half a year? If so, how do you invite people to them (they don’t seem to invite people to wakes? Or just to funerals?) - just call your relatives?

Discussion

I don’t know how it’s “supposed to be,” but usually 9 and 40 days and 1 year are mandatory. I apologize for the cynicism, this is certainly not a holiday, but if a bunch of suffering relatives hint at this need and in general a person was so irreplaceable for everyone that everyone thinks about him with sadness every day, then of course a meeting in six months to remember is quite appropriate.

They call for six months and ask if they will.

We have such a date coming. Well, let's say December 15th. Wedding anniversary and six months from the date of death close relative husband My husband thinks that the wake, let me remind you, should be celebrated every day for six months. Otherwise, there will be no peace for the soul in the next world and all that. I would still like to celebrate the wedding. Because the dates of the living are still more important than the dates of the dead. Because, despite my death, perhaps, I would like my children to continue to enjoy life, and not to hold a wake for me. Because a wake can...

Discussion

What is more important to you: your husband or celebrating your wedding anniversary? In addition, if the husband agrees, then you can find a compromise: funerals are always celebrated at lunchtime, go to them, and in the evening you can go out to a cafe with close friends without inviting sincerely grieving relatives.

what have you decided?

I don't have a dad anymore.... User NafNury's blog on 7ya.ru

On April 7, dad decided to go to the garden to lift the tools up before the flood, they promised high level water... Mom usually always went with him, but this time she refused because she was not feeling well... In the evening, dad did not return, his mobile phone was unavailable... On the morning of April 8, my mother and I went to the garden, no one came into the house , there were no traces, we walked around the neighbors in the hope of finding “friends’ gatherings” there, alas... After returning to the city, I googled what to do if a person disappeared...

Discussion

my condolences to you..
grief...

May Allah give you good things, your musician... may he not be your husband (excuse me), but may he be a musician for you in sorrow and joy, to support you...

I've been through a lot...

HORROR! my condolences...

You did everything right!
Don't blame yourself...

Good afternoon Please help me understand this issue. My father died Native sister, who still has a grandson. 1) Do we understand correctly that the father is the heir of the first line? 2) It so happened that the death certificate was first issued to an intermediary (a person from the veterans council, he acted as a ritual agent), and then the grandson took possession of the certificate (original). Can my dad, having received a duplicate of the certificate, open an inheritance case? 3) Inherited...

Discussion

1. No. The father is the heir of the second line. But the grandson inherits by right of representation for his father/mother, who was the son/daughter of the deceased.
2. The fact that the grandson’s testimony is exactly correct. In this situation, he is the heir.
3. Your father cannot claim any inheritance at all. Only if the grandson refuses.
The fact that your father’s work and money were invested in the dacha has nothing to do with inheritance in this situation. Its rights are limited to debt collection. But if he does not have evidence that his sister borrowed money from him and did not return it, then we can assume that he did everything voluntarily and for free. The loan can be proven with receipts from the sister (if there are none, the issue is closed). But even if there are receipts, non-repayment of the debt is practically unprovable. Only if the receipt clearly indicates the expected period for repayment of the debt, and the date of repayment is later than the date of the sister’s death.

Tomorrow, for the first time in my life, I’m holding a wake... My stepfather passed away, unexpectedly and suddenly. Please help me with advice on what dishes should be on the table. And which ones shouldn't. 1. Is kutia necessary and how to prepare it? There will be no strictly Orthodox people at the table, but I would like to respect traditions. 2.Can I replace the jelly with my own canned berry compote (diluted)? 3. There will be pancakes. But I don’t know how to submit them. Should I put the honey separately? They say you can also put sour cream in a bowl? 4.Is it possible...

Discussion

my condolences. I understand your excitement; 1.5 years ago I found myself in such a situation for the first time in my life. They buried my mother-in-law. They have a very large family, many relatives, and she was respected and loved, so I was very worried. But one relative told me: you should just feed people. They didn't come for a visit... but for a wake. And with this motto I cooked. Thanks to my mom, I made 2 buckets of compote... there were pancakes, but you don’t need a mountain of them either, but for everyone on a plate. And a spoonful of kutya on the pancake. It was like that for us.
So you can have Cahors, and buckwheat, and cake...
And you know, this is the first time I’ve heard about the first thing at a funeral table. So if your relatives haven’t told you anything about this... then don’t. Unless you want to.
About help. Rely only on your own strength. If the helpers arrive on time and actually bring the salad, it will be great. It turned out that the assistant arrived later than the relatives with vegetables for the salad... Horror. But believe me, this is not a reason to worry.

Irina Medvedeva: “Sex education is a terrible crime.

Interview with child psychologist, director of the Public Institute of Demographic Security Irina Medvedeva after a press conference in Rosbalt on April 23, 2013.

Discussion

10 years ago I listened to Medvedeva on the same topic. She has a lot of convulsions. For example, stories about how terrible it is when a child sees naked parents and as an example they cited psychopathic children from a family where the parents basically walked around on their own and the children were told to walk around the house only naked, so that nakedness would be the norm. Although it is obvious that it was not the sight of the genitals that caused the children to develop psychosis, but the general exaltation of the parents.

With all due respect to the real practice of this psychologist, this topic is painfully inadequate.

And I categorically disagree with the statements “sexual education of children - terrible crime". I consider “sex education” one of the primary responsibilities of parents, I consider artificially protecting children from information “about this” harmful. From early childhood I have been talking to children on this topic to the extent that they are able to perceive this information. I don’t think this is will somehow affect their ability to survive" romantic period love" and "will redistribute their energy from spiritual and intellectual development for development, as the psychologist put it, “below.” If this had happened, humanity would have died out long ago, because... in a huge number of cultures, information about the carnal side of love is not a secret that needs to be revealed after puberty :) And any Russian child who travels outside the metropolis to the village for at least a couple of weeks is unlikely to avoid the question of what cows/horses/dogs do , which will inevitably irreparably (according to Ms. Medvedeva) cripple her psyche for the rest of her sexual life.

On Friday it will be a year since my mother passed away. It's Friday, I'm going home from work to my mother in the Moscow region, and I won't be there until 20-21 o'clock. Father says we need to gather people, cook something... But there is no one to cook, everyone will arrive late. And is it worth celebrating at night? And in general, I don’t really understand what it means to celebrate an anniversary? Wake? People, as I understand it, are going to come. What if I just go to church on Friday morning, and calmly gather people on Saturday and go to the cemetery? It's like it's accepted...

Discussion

We collected the next weekend, we consulted with my mother’s friends in advance - when it was convenient for them. Everyone was just grateful for this. We prepared the usual feast, we just bought additional pancakes (pancake-bon, quite decent in taste), heated them up and put them on the table + sour cream, butter and honey. People gathered to remember the person, and not to evaluate how much I correspond to some traditions.

Short story competition "Rest 2012".

Summer is just around the corner - and what a lot of pleasant troubles! Yes, it’s not always easy to agree on where to go if the husband wants to raft on rivers, the wife wants to take a break from household chores in a cozy hotel, and the baby wants to crawl along the beach and stuff his mouth with pebbles. But we are sure that you will have a wonderful holiday. Tell us about it! The 10 best stories will be awarded prizes from sponsors! Competition dates: April 28, 2012 - October 1, 2012. You can send your story to the competition at: [email protected] or through the form...

Discussion

The results of the second stage of the short story competition "Rest 2012" have been summed up!
Congratulations to the winners:
- Svetlana Tortunov, for the story “Across Italy by car - from Turin to Trieste”;
- leleshka, for the story “Baikal Vacations”;
- Larisa Zorin, for the story “Birthday in the underground city of Derinkuyu”;
- Solnyshko14, for the story “Türkiye: vacation with a one-year-old child”;

The results of the first stage of the short story competition "Rest 2012" have been summed up!
Congratulations to the winners:
- Miyu, for the story “Velokrym”;
- Aksuha, for the story “Ukrainian Carpathians - a fabulous place”;
- Olga, for the story “The Turkish Coast: the sea, the sun and us.”

In this regard, it is advisable to first consult your doctor to rule out possible complications pregnancy. How can you have sex during pregnancy? First of all, you should exclude situations where it is undesirable to have sex. This should not be done if there is a threat of miscarriage, with a low position of the placenta or placenta previa, with polyhydramnios, with a breech presentation of the fetus, with an inferior scar on the uterus after a previous cesarean section, with severe fetal hypoxia. IN different terms during pregnancy, appropriate comfortable positions should be chosen, taking into account the size of the abdomen, so as not to provoke premature termination of pregnancy. I was diagnosed with an ultrasound at 12 weeks - low placentation, without overlap...
...Is it possible to have sex? Most often, the placenta “rises.” If it has risen, then you can have sex if there are no other contraindications to this. Do an ultrasound and clarify the condition of the fetus and the location of the placenta. At what time does the fetus finally assume a head-down position? Is it possible to later have oral sex with a woman? Typically, the fetus is in a relatively stable position by 36 weeks of pregnancy. But in some cases it can “spin” until childbirth. The issue of any sexual contact is decided individually depending on the characteristics of the pregnancy. How dangerous is it to masturbate during pregnancy? During pregnancy, do not...

Today at lunch I found myself in a restaurant. There, half of the hall was rented for the funeral. About 30 people were sitting there, chewing and drinking. Everything is in order, the people are decent. Periodically, someone stood up and made a speech for the repose... they remembered how worthy he, the deceased, was... I didn’t have time to choose another restaurant to quickly eat, so I stayed there. All the time the feeling of torture of what was happening did not leave me. I feel the same thing when I attend the wake of more or less loved ones and...

Discussion

I’ve read almost the entire thread, but no one sees the only rational reason for this custom - ALL RELATIVES AND ACQUAINTANCES gather at the wake at the same time! the company will come with a personal expression of sympathy for another month and a half on any day and time of day!! - this is where the real horror is - forcing relatives to re-introduce this sad event every time with everyone (not to mention setting the table 20 times)! And so in one or two days everyone cried, left the family alone, licked their emotional wounds in silence and did not flinch when the doorbell or telephone rang.
In general, every custom is historically established BEST way coverage of this or that event, it’s like folk wisdom-everything is noted and the ideal formula is derived! You can, of course, argue, but forcing the whole society to react to individual outbursts against the collective mind is overkill. IMHO

Well, people are alive at the wake :)) And the wake, as a rule, is held after the funeral service in the church, cemetery and the funeral itself. And these actions take a lot of time, it can all start at 9 am, and the wake will only be at 4-5 pm.
As for drinking, a good friend of mine was buried in winter, at -25. We spent about 2 hours at the cemetery. If we hadn’t taken some vodka afterwards, everyone would definitely have gotten sick.
And in general, my opinion is that a wake, 9 days, 40 days, is needed by the relatives and friends of the deceased in order to fill the void that is created after the death of a loved one through these rituals. To at least somehow realize that that’s it, there is no person... And so that, sad as it may be, start living again :))

Knowing when the child sleeps and when he eats, you can plan your day: go somewhere or go, arrange a meeting or do something that is possible only at a certain, pre-fixed time. Of course, you will have to give up plans at first that are incompatible with the baby’s sleep time. But when the baby gets used to the regime and completely adapts to it (usually this happens within two to three weeks), exceptions can be made. Returning to your usual bedtime after such “exceptional” days will not be difficult for your baby. In the West, and recently more and more often in our country, you can hear supporters of unattended child care, when he sleeps and eats not according to the clock, but when he wants it. Doctors who support this method believe that this is the most...

Discussion

The article is very useful - I came to this conclusion myself, it’s a pity it’s late. Regime, routine and once again regimen - it disciplines, the body works like a clock (we have restored a calm bedtime, sound sleep, the child’s bowel movements are on time, he knows what he is going for and for what, and he himself has become more balanced and calm). Gets up on time, goes to wash, have breakfast... Etc. After evening baths and dinners, he calms down, plays quiet games and is ready for bed at a certain time. What we didn’t have before, when everything was on demand and a free schedule - It was torture for everyone. And my baby is already ready for kindergarten with the right routine.

A routine for a child is a must. Only until 10 months is it not a routine, but a rhythm of the day. And breastfeeding, although it should be on demand, common sense must be present (I’m talking about the comments to the article) So if a child is fed haphazardly, he gets used to eating in small portions and cannot sleep long dreams. In general, this article is very harmful. Dear parents, whose children do not sleep well, do not rely on this article under any circumstances. Here are tips that will make your child sleep even worse. One of them is to let the child get tired, do not put the baby to bed early. Nightmare!! The article recommends going to bed at 9 and sleeping until 6. Dear author, let it be known that the normal amount of sleep for a child under 3 years old is 11-12 hours. By putting your child to bed earlier, from 19:00-20:30, you will follow the baby’s biorhythms and not create bad habits. After all, getting more precious hours of sleep is not about your baby’s development. I'm not saying that it will not be fully developed. But when a child sleeps his norm, his memory and attention improve, and he is calmer. And a 3 month old baby cannot sleep 3 naps, this is not enough for him. There are norms of wakefulness and sleep for each age. Up to a year, you need to especially carefully monitor these norms, especially the time of wakefulness, and under no circumstances allow the child to overstay. Sleep begets sleep. Good daytime sleep is the key to a good night's sleep. And finally, I’ll say that you need to do sleep in the same way as we teach a baby to eat with a spoon or go to the potty. And what in our time is called a “sleepless child”, the child simply has a behavioral sleep disorder, which is corrected through the efforts of the parents.

Conversely, diseases that are not accompanied by high temperature, such as hepatitis (jaundice). Many questions are associated with taking medications. For example, the prescription says: three times a day. What do you mean - every eight hours or three times during the day? This means taking the medicine in the morning, afternoon and evening. Moreover, it is better to take the medicine as early as possible in the morning, and as late as possible in the evening. This ensures a more or less identical level of biologically active substance during the day. True, some medications must be given exactly at the specified time, so sometimes you even have to wake the child up at night. If you do not fully understand the instructions that come with the drug, ask your doctor to explain the instructions....

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Good afternoon, please tell me, my child is 6 months old, starting from 4 months there has been single vomiting several times a month, regardless of feeding, when this happened for the first time, complementary foods had not yet been introduced, we are on guard duty. We visited the pediatrician, she didn’t even really want to listen, it was supposedly regurgitation, she prescribed mint and tablets to normalize the microflora of the stomach, it seemed to be better, but now she vomited again on Saturday evening and again on Tuesday morning. The volume of vomit was very large, like a fountain, apparently everything she ate.

Good afternoon, dear doctors! A 16-year-old child writes to you. I have very poor hearing. I have atresia of the auditory canals. bilateral hearing loss of the 3rd degree. It is caused by the closure of the skull bones in the area of ​​the auditory canals. The condition of the outer and inner ears is normal. I cannot wear a regular hearing aid, since there is nowhere to insert it. severe depression, I give up. I don’t know what to do, please help me with advice. And I also want to ask whether my mother’s rapid labor could have caused this pathology? She gave birth to me in 3 hours after a strong stimulation of labor.

But at the same time, the adult must definitely reassure the baby by telling him that each person has a lot of time to live. The use of metaphors will also help in conversation. We can say that life, like a river, has a beginning and an end. And death can be likened to the mouth where a river flows into the sea. Here it ceases to exist as a river, but does not disappear, but mixes its waters with the waters of the sea. However, metaphors are dangerous things. Children often take them literally. Therefore, you should not tell your child that the person “fell asleep” or “left.” In this case, the child may have a fear of falling asleep and not waking up, and loved one the baby will let go of you with anxiety that he will not return. It is fundamentally important to tell the...
...Under no circumstances should you force your child to go along with everyone else. It is important to understand: by refusing to go to the cemetery, the baby is not being capricious. He's probably scared, hurt and sad. After all, the scene of burying a deceased person, especially if it is a loved one, is a difficult moral test for adults too. The child can visit the grave later. Moreover, this is necessary if the baby was not present at the funeral. This helps to realize death as a fact that has happened, to understand it, to “see it.” But again, you should not insist if the child resists this. Death and its perception in human society- a controversial topic. It is difficult to touch on all aspects of this diverse phenomenon. But the most important thing is that this side of life requires maximum...

Discussion

Good article. No one will give you exact recipes. Children are different. But in general, everything is correct.
My daughter is very interested. Moreover. After visiting the Hermitage and seeing the Crucifixion of Christ, I began to ask more questions. Well, we answer as we receive them and she becomes calmer.
And about the coffin and burying in the ground... well, the child will learn about it anyway, only from another child. And perhaps the stress will be stronger, because... Parents, it turns out, deceived.

I believe that talking about a coffin and burying in the ground is not at all necessary. it all depends on the individual child and his impressionability. My daughter (7 years old), who had not encountered such a situation, but learned that after death they are placed in a coffin and buried, was worried for several days and asked that no one from our family be buried...

IMHO, you can intervene at all stages of a child’s development, you can teach everything, even the alphabet in a year (even a monkey can be taught to play the piano). I understand that it is impossible not to compare your child with peers and not to try to “outdo the competition,” but by constantly and obsessively interfering, you can nip at the root the child’s independence and initiative, his self-sufficiency and cheerfulness:(

1. getting sick 2-3 days before the event, saying in a dying voice “with all my strength, but I’ll crawl,” and at the last moment - “well, I couldn’t, I couldn’t.” The same thing, but arrive at the very end, when most of the guests have left. I can come up with a lot of diagnoses for dying, but the intestinal flu works well - symptoms: diarrhea, vomiting.
2. Is it too late to remember any important trip at this moment?
3. Go, get “stuck” on the way - call back and gossip about the accident and the cops, who won’t let you go, arrive at the very end, when most of the guests have left.

Is it possible to change the date and year of birth? adopted child and for how long? The boy I want to adopt is 8 older than my son. He started talking only a year ago, he was 5 years old in December. So I thought that wouldn’t it be better for him to be younger according to his documents, because this would give him the opportunity to devote more time to adaptation (delay admission to school) Although we can allow individual training. Is it worth doing?

Since ancient times, Russia has preserved the tradition of celebrating memorable dates, and people honor not only the birthdays of living people, but also the days of departure from the other world. This is due to the fact that Christians believe in a further afterlife with God. Many citizens do not know how to properly perform a funeral service for 1 year. The rules are quite simple; they help the deceased find peace in the next world.

Commemoration is the oldest ritual that was carried out back in Ancient Rus'. The main purpose of this ritual is to honor the memory of the deceased and facilitate his stay in heaven.. The basis of the wake is a meal, which the relatives of the deceased spend in his apartment, cafe, or directly at the cemetery. When the anniversary of death is commemorated, and how to honor it, you can find out in the temple.

Memorials are celebrated on the following days:

• on the day of death or the next day;
• on the 3rd day after death. Most often this day is the day of the funeral;
• on day 9;
• on day 40;
• in the future, the meal is carried out on the sixth month from the date of death, and all subsequent anniversaries.

The most important is the commemoration on the 3rd, 9th and 40th day after repose. Christianity is of the opinion that for the first 2 days after departure to another world, the human soul is still on earth and goes around all its native places. On the third day the soul goes to bow to God.

Informative! What is it needed on the wrist for: meaning in Christianity.

For the next 7 days, angels will show the soul life in heaven and the beauty of paradise. On the 9th day, the soul is again sent to worship God, after which it is led to the kingdom of darkness - hell - for 30 days.

For a month, the soul of the deceased is shown the eternal torment of sinners. At the end, on the 40th day, the soul is again lifted up to bow to God, where a decision is made in which exact place the soul will be until the Last Judgment.

In addition, you can remember a deceased relative on the following days:

• second Tuesday after Easter. On the holiday itself, it is not worth remembering the dead, since Easter is a holiday of living people;
• the next Saturday before Lent;
• 2, 3, 4 Saturdays of Great Lent.

Since a baptized deceased person is a member Orthodox Church, you can order a memorial service and magpie for him at almost any time.

It is important to know! If the anniversary coincides with an important day church holiday, it is recommended to postpone it to the next day.

Commemoration in church

The most important thing for remembering the deceased is not the meal, but prayer. If the deceased was a Christian, there is nothing more valuable to him than prayer on the anniversary of death. In addition, clergy advise relatives to refrain from a luxurious dinner and alcohol on the anniversary of death.

Lunch should be quite simple and modest. Funerals for 1 year and all subsequent times should categorically not turn into a cheerful feast, since such a pastime is not welcomed by Christian traditions.

In addition to personal prayer, you must order a commemoration in the church for the year:

• remembrance at the proskomedia. This rite represents the first part of the liturgy, during which the priest takes out small pieces from the prosphora for peace and health.
• most often the “sorokoust” is ordered, then the deceased will be commemorated at 40 services in a row;
• memorial service. Usually held in churches on Saturdays or Sundays, but if necessary, you can arrange with the priest to hold it on another day;
• lithium. Another common type of funeral service. It can be done at any time. It is also possible for a priest to visit the cemetery.

The most important condition is that the deceased is remembered by all his relatives. The priest does not always know the deceased personally, so he cannot express the emotions that friends and relatives experience.

The priest, in fact, is only the performer of the ritual. The rules of the event allow for ordering the reading of the Psalter. This service is more often carried out in monasteries, since it is designed for long time. Depending on the size of the donation, the service will be held for a month, six months or even a year.

It is important to know! When ordering a service in a church, you can include in the note not only the name of the deceased, but also other deceased relatives.

Basic Rules

The rules for holding a funeral in 1 year are such that the event must first begin with a visit to the church. Only after relatives have ordered a special service can they go to the cemetery and perform a civil memorial service.

After this, the relatives must clean up the grave, mention how good the person was, what good deeds he did. It would also be a good idea to bring fresh flowers. It is very important to remember that you are allowed to go to the cemetery only in the first half of the day.

After completing these steps, you can start eating. It is permissible to carry it out not only in the house of the deceased, but also in a cafe. The clergy do not advise having a luxurious dinner; the dishes should be quite simple. As for alcohol, only red wine is allowed to drink; vodka cannot be placed on the table.

Funeral dinner

How to remember the deceased on the anniversary of death should be decided only by relatives. But clergy advise paying attention to the oldest traditions. Often loved ones ask the question not only how to commemorate, but also with what. Lunch dishes should be modest. Be sure to prepare not only the first and second, but also kutya (wheat porridge with raisins, candied fruits and honey). It is recommended to make snacks on this day (especially if you decided to put wine on the table). Among alcoholic drinks, cognac and Cahors are allowed. Sparkling wines are not suitable for this occasion.

Often parishioners ask priests what they order in the church on the anniversary of a death, if it falls on a fast. In this case, there should be mainly lean dishes and a lot of baked goods on the table.

If the memorial takes place in a cafe, you need to ask the employees to turn off the music and TV. Entertainment is not permitted in the adjacent room. You should not make toasts, as it is inappropriate.

It would be better to just say good words about a person, remember his good deeds or read poetry on the anniversary of his death. You can also share warm memories with relatives.

Reference! What is forbidden to do on the anniversary of death is to say words that denigrate the deceased.

Remember at home

If relatives do not have the opportunity to go to the cemetery, how to remember the deceased and what to do in this case. In such a situation, you need to invite everyone home and prepare a special lunch. Many people mistakenly believe that in 1 year the rules imply covering mirrors in the apartment and placing a cutlery for the deceased on the table. The clergy claim that these traditions exist, but they do not apply to the Orthodox, so it is not necessary to adhere to them.

Every person who comes to the house must pray before sitting down to the table. It is advisable that the apartment be lit at this time. church candles. After reading the prayer, you can start eating. Relatives are allowed to talk at the table. The main thing is that there is no gossip, jokes or bad language, as this is inappropriate.

According to Christian traditions, dishes that are served to the table must be blessed. In addition to the first and second meals, lunch also includes dessert. Sweets must be present on the table, as they symbolize the joy that awaits all righteous Christians in heaven.

When preparing the table, you can consider the following tips:

1. One of traditional dishes Pancakes count at funerals. Usually they are washed down with fresh jelly or full jelly (honey dissolved in water).
2. It is recommended to place several fir branches on the table, and black ribbons can be attached to the tablecloth.
3. During the change of dishes, it is necessary to read a prayer for repose. Also, prayers on the death anniversary of 1 year (and all subsequent ones) are read after the meal.
4. When leaving, the owners do not need to say words of gratitude. This is not accepted at funerals.

Independent mention

If a person does not have the opportunity to go to a funeral, you can remember the deceased at home. There is no need to host a lunch for this. As you know, celebrating the anniversary of death involves reading a prayer.

This option will be optimal. Most clergy advise reading the Psalter. How to do this correctly is usually described in detail in the appendix to the book. Between psalms, it is imperative to read special prayers, and mention in them the names of deceased relatives. This type of remembrance is the best.

There are some exceptions in which the church does not allow commemoration of the deceased during the Liturgy. This applies to people who were baptized but never went to church. It is believed that this indicates that the person was an unbeliever during his lifetime. The clergy call such people parishioners.

Also, the church never remembers those who have committed suicide, since this is a voluntary rejection of God’s main gift - life. This rule also applies to those people who died from a drug overdose, since such a death is also considered suicide.

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Let's sum it up

That's all today more people prefer to order a service in church and believes that this is enough. Despite the fact that clergy can also turn to the Almighty with a request for forgiveness of earthly sins, relatives should also pray for the deceased.

Appeals from priests, as mediators and executors of God’s will on earth, reach the Savior faster, but reading prayers at home is also mandatory. First of all, the soul of the deceased hears precisely the words of relatives, and not church ministers, so family and friends definitely need to pray.

After death, a person is commemorated on the 3rd, 9th and 40th day, and the last date is considered the most important, since the soul enters the Judgment and its further destiny is decided. There are many traditions associated with this day that people observe to help the deceased person on this important day.

What does 40 days after death mean?

The fortieth day of commemoration of a deceased person is considered a certain line that separates the earthly and eternal life. WITH religious point From a perspective, it is a more tragic date compared to physical death. 40 days after the funeral is a date that reminds people that the soul, after the end of earthly life, goes to its Heavenly Father. The funeral can be considered a kind of act of mercy.

Where is the soul of the deceased until 40 days?

Many people note that at first they feel the presence of a deceased person, which is manifested by smell, sighs, steps, and so on. This is due to the fact that for forty days the spirit does not leave the place where it lived.

1. For the first three days, the soul is free and it remembers its entire earthly life. It is believed that during this time she is in places that are close. On the third day after death, a memorial service must be held.
2. After this there will be a meeting with God, the saints and a visit to heaven. From this moment, the first torment and fears begin that due to mistakes made, the entrance to heaven may be closed. All this lasts for six days, so on the ninth day a memorial service and wake are held.
3. At the next stage, ordeals begin, which represent trials and obstacles. The soul will not receive a decision whether it can spend eternal life in Heaven or Hell. During this period, a comparison of positive and negative actions occurs.
4. When figuring out what happens on day 40, it’s worth talking about the onset of important stage – Last Judgment, where the soul can no longer influence anything and only the lived life of the deceased is taken into account.

How to pray for the deceased for up to 40 days?

Remembering dead people is the duty of every believer. According to the church, you need to pray especially diligently during the first forty days after death. A prayer for 40 days to see off the soul can be said in church or at home. If a person chooses the second option, then it is recommended that women tie a scarf on their heads and light candles in front of the image of the Lord. When figuring out the rules of 40 days after death and how to remember, it is worth noting that prayer during this period helps to gain faith in the soul and more easily cope with the loss of a loved one.

“Son of God, Lord Jesus Christ. Satisfy my heartfelt grief for the deceased slave (name of the deceased). Help me cope with this difficult loss, and give me strength to withstand the grief. And on the fortieth tribulation day, accept the soul of the deceased (name of the deceased) into the Kingdom of Heaven. And it will be so now, forever, forever and ever. Amen".

Is it possible to remember 40 days earlier?

Life is unpredictable and there is often no way to accomplish what you planned. The clergy say that if it is not possible to remember the deceased on the 40th day, it is not a tragedy or a sin, since this can be done in advance or even later. It is forbidden to reschedule commemoration at liturgy, memorial service and cemetery. Many people are still interested in how to count 40 days from the date of death, so the first day is the day of death itself, even if the death occurred late in the evening before midnight.

What is prepared for 40 days after death?

On this day, a memorial dinner is always held, the purpose of which is to remember the deceased and pray for his repose. It is important to remember that food is not the main thing, so there is no need to try to prepare a luxurious menu with big amount delicacies. A funeral dinner for 40 days, the menu of which must take into account the rules of Christianity, implies adherence to several important principles:

1. On the table there should be kutia, which is made from millet or rice, and pancakes without filling. Each of these dishes has its own important sacred meaning, which helps to appreciate the frailty of existence.
2. For those who are interested in the topic - 40 days after death, how to remember, you need to know about old tradition bake pies with different fillings.
3. If the forties did not fall during Lent, then meat dishes are not prohibited, so you can serve cutlets, cabbage rolls, goulash as a side dish, and so on.
4. Various dishes are allowed, and these can be first and second courses.
5. You can put salads on the table that include lean ingredients in the recipe.
6. Understanding the traditions of 40 days after death and how to remember the deceased, it is worth mentioning that in many families it is customary to follow the tradition of preparing the deceased’s favorite dish for a funeral dinner.
7. As for desserts, it is best to make cheesecakes, pies, cookies, and sweets are also allowed.

What do they take to the cemetery for 40 days?

According to traditions, on memorial days, people go to the cemetery to say goodbye to a loved one. You need to take flowers with you to the grave, of which there should be a pair, and a candle. With these objects, the living can express their respect to the deceased. You cannot talk loudly at the grave, have snacks, and especially drink alcohol. Another important point regarding what is brought to the cemetery for 40 days - as a treat for the deceased, you can take a plate of kutya from home and leave it at the grave.

What are they giving away for 40 days?

There are many traditions associated with memorial days. On the fortieth day, it is customary to distribute various treats to people so that they remember the deceased. In most cases, they give cookies, sweets and pastries. Customs for 40 days after death say that during the first forty days after death, it is necessary to distribute a person to needy people, asking them to pray for his soul. This tradition is not described in the Bible and is a personal decision for each individual.

Funeral service for 40 days – when to order?

On the fortieth day of commemoration of the deceased, you must definitely go to the temple, where you can pray and order a memorial service and magpie.

1. The most important prayer is said at the liturgy. During this, a bloodless sacrifice must be made to the Lord.
2. Seeing off the soul on the 40th day necessarily includes a memorial service and this ritual is served in front of a special table called the eve. Gifts are left there for the needs of the temple and in memory of the dead. If a memorial service is not scheduled on the day that falls, then a litany is held for the deceased.
3. Understanding the topic - 40 days after death, how to commemorate, it is necessary to say that it is important to order the magpie, which is carried out from the day of death until the 40th day. When the allotted time is over, the sorokoust can be repeated one more time. Longer memorial times can be ordered.

40 days after death - traditions and rituals

A huge number of customs have formed in Rus', many of which have survived to this day. There are various signs that you should not do until 40 days, but it is worth noting that many of them are fiction and the church does not confirm them. Among the well-known traditions are the following:

1. Since ancient times, for 40 days it is not recommended to carefully monitor your clothes and cut your hair, as this is considered a sign of disrespect for the memory of the deceased.
2. The table for a funeral dinner is set traditionally, but sharp cutlery, that is, knives and forks, is not used. Spoons are usually placed with their backs facing up.
3. Crumbs left on the table cannot be swept off the table and thrown away; they are collected and taken to the grave. This is how the living inform the deceased that a wake was taking place.
4. Many people are interested in the topic of what they bring to the funeral for 40 days, so there are no rules indicating such obligations, but it is not prohibited to take some home-cooked food with you, for example, pies or pancakes.
5. At night, it is customary to close windows and doors tightly, and one should not cry, as this can attract the soul of the deceased.
6. Many people leave a glass filled with vodka and covered with bread on the table or bedside table. If the liquid decreases, it means the soul is drinking it. Many people leave vodka at the grave, but this has nothing to do with Orthodox customs.

Why can’t you chew seeds for up to 40 days?

Over the years, various customs have developed related to the commemoration of dead people, and some of them may seem strange to many. For example, there is a ban regarding the prohibition of chewing seeds for up to 40 days, since this can spit on the soul of a deceased person. There is another explanation for this sign, according to which those who violate this prohibition will have for a long time teeth hurt. The third interpretation of superstition concerns the fact that by clicking seeds you can attract evil spirits and devils.

Why are they giving away spoons for 40 days?

Since ancient times, there has been a custom of distributing wooden spoons with which people ate at funeral dinners. IN modern world Such cutlery is not used, so ordinary spoons are distributed. The sign is explained by the fact that when a person uses such a device, he involuntarily remembers the deceased. There is another strange superstition according to which utensils used for 40 days should not be given away. It is believed that she is a participant in the farewell ritual and if a person takes her home, he will bring misfortune and even death upon himself.

Signs for 40 days after death

There are many different superstitions associated with this date from the day of death, and among them we will highlight the most famous:

1. During this period, it is forbidden to clean the house and turn off the lights (you can leave a night light or candle).
2. It is not allowed to sleep for the allotted period in the place of the deceased.
3. From the moment of death until 40 days, it is necessary to cover all reflective surfaces in the house: mirrors, televisions, and so on. It is believed that a dead person can be reflected in them and take a living person with them.
4. When holding a wake for 40 days after death, it is necessary to allocate a place at the table for the deceased person, placing a plate and a glass for him, putting a piece of bread on top.
5. The widow must wear it on her head for the specified time; if this is not done, then she can incur damage to herself.
6. Every day you need to place a glass of water and a towel on the windowsill. This is important so that the soul can wash itself.