What to do to avoid crying. How to learn to hold back tears in any life situation

Immediately after the baby is born, the first thing the mother hears is the baby’s cry. A baby can cry for any reason if he does not know how to say - this is his first reaction to difficulties or a traumatic situation.

In adulthood, it is generally accepted that crying is shameful, especially for men, crying is a sign of weakness, and similar statements. But when experiencing difficult losses, the loss of loved ones and something valuable, tears appear on their own. Some people have increased sensitivity to everything that happens, so for them the urgent question is how to stop crying over little things, how to restrain their emotions.

Crying is an automatic emotional process needed to provide relief after prolonged stress. Sometimes even after physical activity, as if out of the blue, the person begins to cry.

Crying in small quantities is acceptable and is considered normal. Especially after psychological trauma, psychologists advise not to suppress emotions within yourself, but to bring them out through crying. In such cases they say: “Cry, it will become easier.” But the process of uncontrollable crying, which often occurs, is considered pathological. This indicates a person’s psychological or mental problems.

1. Adults often cry if they did not learn in childhood to experience grief, a feeling of loss or unfulfilled expectations. Parents should teach the child how to cope with emotions, explain to him why this or that happens, and make it clear that it can be survived. In a situation of grief, children have more questions than answers; they learn not to worry about the situation, because they are afraid of not being able to cope with their emotions. In adulthood, in a situation of grief and loss, a person may not express emotions or cry. But then, out of the blue, he may burst into tears.
2. Self-pity. At any difficult situation a person who is “unloved” or misunderstood in childhood will feel sorry for himself. Especially when they yell at him.
3. Problems with nervous system. When people burst into tears for no reason, they say: “My nerves are getting crazy.” Indeed, if a person has been nervous a lot in life, held back his emotions, experienced a lot stressful situations, his nervous system is no longer so resistant to traumatic situations.
4. Repressed negative emotions can manifest themselves in crying while the person himself is shouting and scolding someone. This state borders on a state of passion, when a person ceases to control his emotions.
5. and other problems of the emotional spectrum. To correct them.

In fact, there are many reasons for constant crying, from physiological to mental. But still, how to stop crying when the tears flow at the wrong time?

Tips for Emotional Control When Crying

It is important for a person to learn to control his emotions, because others will consider him an unbalanced person.

Calming with Breathing

When you feel a lump in your throat, tears come to your eyes, and crying in this moment you can’t, the method of calming down with deep breathing will come to the rescue.

You need to repeat this 5 times. If there is intense crying, this method is not used, as it can lead to hyperventilation.

Deep breathing allows you to reduce the heart rate, while improving the delivery of oxygen to the cells, and reducing the intense subjective understanding of the traumatic situation.

Thought Analysis

During periods of uncontrollable emotions, you need to analyze positive and negative thoughts. When a person realizes what is bothering him in a particular situation, half of the solution to the problem has already been done.

In moments of grief or loss, a person tends to think about his loneliness and hopelessness. These feelings are so strong that they can cause crying for months. When a person feels hopelessness, he loses the meaning of life. Constant crying is replaced by emptiness and the meaninglessness of one’s existence. But in such a state it is usually difficult to analyze anything. Therefore, the following method comes to the rescue.

Recording your feelings

The best psychotherapy for fear is drawing, and the same with crying: the best psychological treatment for crying is writing down your feelings or emotions. Each entry is separate.

Let's get distracted

At strong feeling any stress, it is important to learn to abstract from it. What does it mean? Peace of mind is not restored the first time. Pessimistic thoughts often occur, but if you try to distract yourself from them, you can soberly assess the situation. How to get distracted?

This too shall pass

When a lump comes to your throat and you want to cry, it is important to set yourself up for the positive: this situation will pass someday, all the bad things will not last forever. To sober up a little, you can wash your face with cold water.

The ability to cry in right moment very few can boast. And in order to learn how to cry on purpose and quickly, you need, first of all, to study yourself, learn to control your mood. Tears, being an indicator of our state of mind, can be caused by diametrically opposed feelings - sorrow and joy, despair and relief, a nervous breakdown...

If we consider crying from a scientific point of view, then it is, in fact, physiological response to some emotional stimulus. Of course, we all start our lives by crying, but only in adulthood this process controllable, takes on an emotional connotation.

How to make yourself cry?

As a rule, tears come to your eyes because of the desire to receive something. Here they are a means to an end. However, due to the fact that this physiological process is extremely complex, certain efforts are required to implement it.

On a note! A person does not always cry when tears are so needed. However, you shouldn’t be upset – everything in this life is possible! You can learn to cry when you need to, just by learning a few clever tricks.

You can, for example, find past grievances and sad memories in your memory. However, experts assure that training is very important in this matter, which can be confirmed by theater actresses who practice theatrical crying for a long time before going on stage. Besides, it is necessary to remember both the realism of crying and its aesthetics. Indeed, a red nose and streaks of mascara on the cheeks can lead to the opposite effect.

The easiest ways to cry quickly

Let's start with the basics - with onions . The effectiveness of this method is undeniable, but it is not appropriate in all cases. First of all, the onion itself is not always at hand, and even specific smell can give away the “malingerer”. But this will in no way affect the dramatic image!

Eyes can also be made to water through irritation. The best incentive is considered yawn– it can be provoked by tensing the throat muscles. But from the outside, these efforts will look, to put it mildly, unaesthetic.

You can still for a long time look at one point without blinking. Tears, as you know, are intended to moisturize the eyeball, and therefore, if it does not receive hydration in the required amount, tears may appear on their own. Finally, for quick appearance If you cry, you may tear out a few hairs from your eyebrow or pinch yourself on the tip of your nose.

Note! In a good way making yourself cry is the use of . This way you will moisturize your visual organs and shed a tear at the right moment.

Table. A trick for theater actors - hot peppers.

Advice! Obviously, if you have to deliver lines during a crying scene, you shouldn't chew during them.

I can’t cry, but I really want to. What to do?

In some cases, the mood is such that there seems to be no compelling reason for tears, but they (the reasons) need to be made obvious. Simply put, throw out a “whole sea” of tears. But to do this, you must understand exactly how this process can be provoked. After all, it often happens that a person, faced with some problem, simply cannot express his inner state with tears.

So, psychologists say that Crying is an instinctive action, a kind of tool for relieving tension in the body. That’s why people say that if you cry, it will become easier. Tears bring not only emotional but also physical relief.

Important information! When a person wants to cry, but cannot do it, he experiences a kind of internal tension, which does not allow you to give up. At least that's what psychologists think. Moreover, they claim that on an unconscious level he considers expressing feelings through tears unprofitable or even dangerous.

But this state is unacceptable, because crying is a natural way to express your feelings. Interestingly, the source of these feelings does not have to be negative (just remember tears of joy), so the absence of tears is already emotional disturbance, a problem that requires specialist help.

It is believed that such internal “prohibitions” on crying have their basis, dating back to childhood. To get specific recommendations, it is better to consult a psychotherapist - a specialist will help you identify the source of the problem and successfully eliminate it. But first, you can talk to someone you trust - your mother, a friend. Or, as an option, use “tearful” songs and films.

Crying for no reason is not just for actors. Below are simple recommendations that will help you learn how to do this.

1. First of all, concentrate on your inner state. Stand in front of the mirror, try to completely relax, and then make a face - depict certain emotions on your face. First, portray sadness, then anger, joy, and so on. You can start with any emotion – it’s not that important. Act slowly, calmly, and be sure to monitor the work of your facial muscles. Also watch what your body wants to do at this moment - lower your head, clench your fists, etc.

   

2. Focus on the sad emotion, because you want to be able to cry for no reason. What causes sadness? Plunge into memories, find those that provoke a sad mood and make you cry. It is recommended to repeat such exercises every day for at least half an hour - this way you can feel the interaction between the body and emotions.

   

3. Know how to control your state of mind. You can, as an option, study facial expressions crying man(for example, scroll 2-3 times suitable frame film). Then try to reproduce it all on your own face. To make it as natural as possible, remember the state you were in when you cried.

   

4. Exist additional methods, which will help cause tears, but do not affect the internal state. For example, do not blink for a long time, rub the lower eyelid with menthol oil, use the same onion. Or the simplest thing - a scarf soaked in ammonia.

What can make you cry?

In addition to the methods described above, there are others effective means. Let's get to know them.

"Tearful" films

There are quite a lot of films that can make you cry - there are even those, when watching which, a sensual mood rolls over representatives of the stronger half of humanity. Such films awaken sincerity, tenderness, and empathy in the most unemotional individuals. If the actors play realistically, then you will live every moment of the life of the main characters. And, of course, it won’t happen without tears.

This could be, for example, the film “White Bim, Black Ear.” The picture is old, but even if you watch it just once, its touching moments will remain in your memory for a long time.

There is also a more modern film - “The Boy in the Striped Pajamas”. He talks about the naive and gratuitous friendship of the son of a concentration camp commandant with a Jewish boy. We should not forget about such film masterpieces as “The Dawns Here Are Quiet”, “War”, “Cuckoo”, etc.

Love paintings

The best option if you just want to cry is melodramatic films about love. There are many of these, too, but the undisputed leader is, of course, the Titanic. We also recommend paying attention to “Hurry to Love”, “Three Meters Above the Sky”... The list could go on for a long time, but each of you probably has personal preferences. In a word, choose a suitable movie, relax and start watching - this way you can cry without any serious effort.

Suitable songs

Music also greatly influences our inner state. Favorite songs evoke feelings associated with specific situation, in which they were heard. Even a cheerful composition can be associated with sad moments in life, and therefore can make you cry.

If such songs don't come to mind, pay attention to movie soundtracks, which will allow you to use associative memory. A striking example– the song “My heart will go on”, the main soundtrack of the above-mentioned film “Titanic”.

On a note! Not only a song, but also its words can make you cry. They are as important as the music itself.

Worthwhile books

The printed word awakens the strongest feelings, makes you cry and rejoice, experience happiness and universal sorrow. In short, a great emotional shake-up. Classic example- These are “Three Comrades”. Or, alternatively, "Jane Eyre" famous work Charlotte Bronte.

Heartbreaking photos

They allow you to feel someone else’s grief and hopelessness. Great option– pictures of homeless animals, children from an orphanage.

As you can see, there are many ways to cry quickly. If you want, you can achieve great heights in the “wet” business and learn to manage your emotions. All it takes is persistence and a little patience. But psychologists assure that this is better achieved by other methods based on positive emotions.

Video - How to learn to cry

Man is an extremely complex being, with a highly developed nervous system and pronounced mental activity. We are all - to a greater or lesser extent - subject to emotions. Anger, irritation, tearfulness or euphoria, “having your head in the clouds” and “rose-colored glasses”, mood swings - all these are manifestations of our world of feelings, without which a person would have long ago turned into a robot-like, soulless creature.

Tears as a reaction to emotions with plus and minus signs

What emotions do we experience more often throughout life - positive or negative? It is quite difficult to answer this question. And who can count how many times we stretch our lips in a smile, sigh with relief or tensely and wipe away treacherous tears. It was only for Princess Nesmeyana that buckets were placed during her sobs, that’s why she’s a fairy tale! Is it possible not to cry at all? From physical, from sadness and even from joy? Not at all - of course not! And why, for example, restrain yourself if your eyes are wet from a long-awaited meeting with your loved one or if something makes you laugh immensely? On the contrary, such emotions bring with them only positive, cleansing and inspiring moments. Is it necessary not to cry when it’s really hard and some unpleasant events do they press on the heart like a stone, disturb the consciousness, confuse? Psychologists say unequivocally: on the contrary, in such cases it is not just necessary to cry, but necessary! Why? Because by throwing out everything that has boiled over, we thus receive psychological release, and the body is freed from stress. If we keep the negative to ourselves, worry in silence, then emotions accumulate, compressing our psyche, just as a spring contracts under pressure. But this process is not endless! And one day an explosion will follow, the result of which can be depression, neuroses, insomnia and many other serious problems. Do you want to control yourself in any situation and not cry? Then prepare in advance to become a psychotherapist’s patient!

When to restrain yourself

We looked at situations in which tears are a protective natural reaction of the body to external stimuli. However, any emotion is a double-edged sword. When it acquires affective, i.e. excessive, exaggerated forms, the picture also begins to take on a clinical appearance. And here, indeed, you should understand that in other cases it is better to hold back and not cry than to let yourself go and whine about every occasion. And the situation is not always conducive to open expression of feelings. If you have been insulted, then showing tears in front of the offender means humiliating yourself even more, showing your own weakness and sensitivity, that is, giving your enemy another reason to gloat and triumph. Do you need this? So let's think about how to learn not to cry in an inappropriate environment.

Learn to dominate

Yes, the first tip sounds exactly like that. Develop restraint and self-control, the ability to control emotions, and demonstrate strong will. Various auto-trainings will provide you with good support in this regard. The simplest one for everyone affordable way, how to calm down and not cry - take a deep breath several times and count to... Some up to 10, and some more. The main thing is that after such an exercise you relax somewhat, pull yourself together, and your feelings return to a more usual course and degree. This is, so to speak, advice for situations under force majeure. In general - long and hard work on yourself!

Evidence by contradiction

How not to cry if you want to? Another good remedy- the ability to look at a problem from a slightly different position, when it ceases to seem fatal. As in geometry - proof by contradiction. Has your husband left for someone else? Yes, it hurts, it’s hard, it’s offensive, it’s hopeless... You can endlessly select epithets. Or you can sit down and try to think differently: and “his” departure - prospects for new acquaintances, hobbies, flirting, and so on. One page of life is turned - another begins. If there are children, then, of course, the situation is more complicated. But no one can cancel the financial and other help of the “former”! Therefore, you should not behave as if “life was cut short.” No! What makes us stronger is to adopt this worldly wisdom, and it will teach you how not to cry from pain, but to protect yourself, your inner world from external cruelty.

From a smile

Psychologists often recommend: when cats start scratching their hearts, go to the mirror and smile. At first, with a stretch, even if your smile looks like a grin. Then again, again and again... Until you get a smile that is joyful, sincere, from the bottom of your heart. And at this moment you will feel how it becomes easier, brighter, and what tormented you ceases to be so important. Repeat the exercise more often, smile at your reflection, enjoy meeting yourself! Tested in practice: this method is good not only for those who are wondering how to stop crying. It will help anyone to cheer up, gain cheerfulness and self-confidence. Therefore, remembering the famous words of Baron Munchausen, smile, gentlemen, smile!

Distraction

If you are wondering how to never cry, we have to disappoint you: it is impossible. No wonder the poet said: “He who did not cry did not live.” But you can reduce your worries to a minimum. How? Learn to switch and get distracted. If you feel like it’s “rushing” and is about to overwhelm you, try to distract yourself. Some people grab a vacuum cleaner or washing powder to do this, others enthusiastically scribble on a typewriter, trying to kill their teeth with anticipation of a new outfit. The kitchen saves someone and original recipe, while others pull themselves by the hair from the swamp of the precipice with rhythmic music, a comedy film or an action-packed book, prayer, meditation, sports equipment and even sex... All the means here are good, as long as they provide the necessary mental release and serve as an effective lightning rod.

Going to scream

Yes, if you are choked by tears, it will be useful to simply “scream.” In screaming, we express not only accumulated emotions, but also physical stress. Lock yourself in your room and scream everything that comes to mind - furiously, without holding back, out loud. You'll literally feel better right away, you'll see. True, then there will be conversations with neighbors, and not about the weather... But that’s a slightly different story.

Peace of mind is in our hands

Soulful, i.e. inner peace is a special state of harmony with oneself, peace. It is achieved by choosing a way of thinking and the ability to look at life’s problems from different angles.

And finally, the most important thing - educate yourself positive thinking and live, enjoying every new day. After all, life is priceless - it’s your life!

Tears - a person’s natural reaction to a very abrupt, unexpected situation or trouble. People during times of stress or grief may break down and cry. This article contains the best psychological techniques, which will help you hold back tears at a certain moment.

Exercise to stop crying

During emotional arousal, psychologists recommend concentrating on your own breathing. You may have noticed that during times of stress or resentment, breathing becomes difficult and quick, and sometimes there is not enough air at all. Control your breathing to calm down and avoid crying. Do you feel like you no longer have the strength to hold back? Lift your chin up a little and take 3-5 deep breaths through your nose, exhaling through your mouth. Imagine how cool air enters your Airways and fills the lungs. Also cool water or green tea They are great for getting rid of a lump in your throat.

If tears are already starting to appear in your eyes, then try to blink them away. Do not try to wipe your eyes with a napkin or your hands - this will worsen the situation, and you can also rub your cosmetics. Psychologists say that if you close your eyes for a couple of seconds, the tears will go away. In addition, you can use a simple exercise - look first down, then up, and then look to the right and left.

Physical actions - a great way to distract yourself from unpleasant thoughts. You might make a fist, pinch yourself, or bite your lip. This method will help you shift your attention by getting uncomfortable. Also if there is nearby close person, whom you completely trust, then try to take his hand - it really helps a lot.

Hugs - pleasant and effective method to calm down. Walk up to your loved one and just hug him. Then you will feel strong support and also calm your nervous system.

How to hold back tears at an important moment - psychological exercises

Some experts recommend that a person apply mathematical solutions in his head. Repeating the multiplication table or solving just an example - all this helps not to cry at the wrong time. You can also start reading your favorite poem or humming your favorite song to yourself. It is important that the melody or verse be cheerful and funny.

Remember your positive points from life. Surely you had a very fun day that you will remember for a long time. Concentrate and begin to remember those events that brought you laughter and joy.

Motivate yourself not to cry. Tell yourself how strong you are and there is no need to cry at the moment. Tell yourself that you can handle the situation and that you can control yourself.

Walking on fresh air, watching your favorite movie or TV series, meeting with friends, reading a great book, physical exercise - all this will not only improve your mood and calm you down, but will also have a beneficial effect on your entire body.

• This is interesting -

It is important to understand that you should not hold back all the time. Sometimes everything that he endures for a long time accumulates inside a person. In this case, tears will only be beneficial.

How to learn to hold back tears - video